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Hercules (1997 film)

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How sentimental. You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat! Huh?! Is this an audience or a mosaic?

Hercules is a 1997 film produced by Walt Disney Feature Animation and released by Walt Disney Pictures. It tells the story about the adventures of Hercules, the son of Zeus in Greek mythology.

Directed by John Musker and Ron Clements. Written by Ron Clements, John Musker, Donald McEnery, Bob Shaw and Irene Mecchi. Songs by Alan Menken and David Zippel. Score Produced by Alan Menken and includes "Go the Distance" Written by Alan Menken and David Zippel, and performed by Michael Bolton.
A Comedy of Olympian Proportions

Hercules

[edit]
  • [to Zeus] But, Father, I've defeated every single monster I've come up against. I-I'm...I'm the most famous person in all of Greece. I'm...I'm an action figure!
  • A true hero. Great! Uh, exactly how do you become a true hero?
  • Wow. What a day. First that restaurant by the bay...And then that, that play, that, that, that Oedipus thing? Man! I thought I had problems.
  • [after Meg is revived] People always do crazy things... when they are in love.

Meg

[edit]
  • Well, you know how men are. They think 'No' means 'Yes' and 'Get lost' means 'Take me, I'm yours.'
  • Thanks, Herc. It's been a real slice.
  • [rushing into Thebes, crying out] Please. Help! Please! There's been a terrible accident!
  • [Hercules walks to the Cyclops] What are you doing? Without your strength you'll be killed.
  • People always do crazy things... when they're in love.
  • You're really choked up about this, aren't you?
  • [to Hades] Then read my lips. Forget it.

Hades

[edit]
  • How sentimental. You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat. Huh? Is this an audience or a mosaic?
  • Love to, babe. But unlike you gods lounging about up here, I, regrettably, have a full-time gig that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus.
  • Memo to me, memo to me: maim you after my meeting.
  • I’m about to rearrange the cosmos and the one SCHLEMIEL who can louse it up is waltzing around IN THE WOODS!
  • Let’s get ready to RUMBLE!
  • My favorite part of the game: Sudden death.
  • Game. Set. Match.
  • I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I’ve been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke, and you are wearing HIS… MERCHANDISE?!
  • He's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness. I mean, for what? Pandora, it was the box thing. For the Trojans, hey. They bet on the wrong horse. Okay?
  • Meg, Meg Meg. My sweet, deluded little minion. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but-ever-so-crucial, little, tiny detail? I OWN YOU!
  • We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What d’ya say? Come on.
  • Ba-boom! Name's Hades, Lord of the Dead. Hi, how ya doin'?
  • Guys, get your titanic rears in gear and KICK some Olympian BUTT! [Pegasus blows out his flaming hair] Whoa, is my hair out?
  • Uh, guys. Olympus would be that way.
  • Zeusy, I'm home!
  • [repeated scream] GAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHHH!
  • Thanks a ton, Wonderboy! But at least I've got one swell consolation prize, a friend of yours who's dying to see me.
  • This is... This is impossible! You, you, you can't be alive! You'd have to be a, a... (Pain and Panic: A god?) Hercules, stop! You can’t do this to me! You can’t- [Hercules punches Hades] Fine. Okay. Listen. Ha! Okay. Well, I deserved that. Herc, Herc, Herc. Can we talk? You're dad; he's the fun guy, right? So maybe you could put in a word with him, and he'd kinda... blow this whole thing off, you know? Meg. Meg, talk to him. Have a little smoochze, and... [Hercules punches him into the river of death] GAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!! [souls go to grab him] Get away from me! Don't touch me! Get your slimy souls off me! Ooh, ah— (Panic: He's not gonna be happy when he gets outta there!; Pain: You mean, if he gets outta there!) Taxi! TAXI! (Panic: If. If is good.) I don't feel so good. I—I'm feeling a little... FLUSHED!
  • [last lines, as the film closes] What do you say? It's happy ending time. Everybody's got a little taste of something but me. I've got nothing. I'm here with nothing. Anybody listening?! It's like I'm- what am I? An echo or something? Hello! Hello! Am I talking to what, hyperspace? Hello, it's me! Nobody listens.

Phil

[edit]
  • I trained all those would-be heroes. Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus. A lot of "yusses". And every single one of those bums let me down flatter than a discus. None of them could go the distance. [Looking at a statue of a soldier in armor] And then there was Achilles. Now there was a guy who had it all; the build, the foot-speed. He could jab! He could take a hit! He could keep on comin'! [pause] BUT THAT FURSLUGGINER HEEL OF HIS! He barely gets nicked there once and kaboom. He's history. Yeah, I had a dream once. I dreamed I would train the greatest hero there ever was. So great the gods would hang a picture of him in the stars for everyone to see. And everyone would say, "That's Phil's boy." That's right...Ah, but dreams are for rookies. A guy can only take so much disappointment.
  • One town, a million troubles. The one and only Thebes. The Big Olive itself. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.
  • [after being called a goat-man] Watch it, pal.
  • You...I got your heel RIGHT HERE! [tackles Tall Thebian with his head, throws punches] I'll wipe that stupid grin off your face! You- [bites Tall Thebian's butt]
  • [as Hercules fights the Hydra, whose heads multiply as they are cut off] WILL YOU FORGET THE HEAD-SLICING THING?!?!
  • [after Hercules defeats the Hydra] YA DID IT, KID! YA DID IT, YOU WON BY A LANDSLIDE!
  • [about Meg] SHE'S A FRAUD! She's been playing you for a sap!
  • No, no, no, no, no, kid, giving up is for rookies. I came back because I'm not quitting on ya. I'm willing to go the distance. How about you?

Zeus

[edit]
  • You ought to slow down, you'll work yourself to death. HA! Work yourself to death!
  • Hey, you wanted answers, and by thunder, you're old enough to know the truth.
  • Hercules, if you can prove yourself a true hero on Earth, your godhood will be restored.
  • I'm afraid being famous is not the same as being a true hero.
  • SOUND THE ALARM! LAUNCH AN IMMEDIATE COUNTERATTACK! GO, GO!
  • For a true hero isn't measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart. Now, at last, my son, you can come home.

The Narrator and the Muses

[edit]
The Narrator: [First lines] Long ago, in the far away land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Hercules. But what is the measure of a true hero? Now that is where our story-
Thalia: Would you listen to him? He's making the story sound like some Greek tragedy.
Terpsichore: Lighten up, dude.
Calliope: We'll take it from here, darling.
Narrator: You go, girl.
Calliope: If there is one god who don't want to get steamed up, it's Hades.
Terpsichore: 'Cause he had an evil plan.
Thalia: [singing] He ran the underworld,
But thought the dead were dull and uncouth
He was as mean as he was ruthless
And that's the gospel truth
He had a plan to shake things up
And that's the gospel truth!

Melpomene: [singing] Young Herc was mortal now
But since he did not drink the last drop,
He still retained his godlike strength,
So thank his lucky star

But Zeus and Hera wept
Because their son could never come home,
They'd have to watch their precious baby
Grow up from afar

Though, Hades' horrid plan
Was hatched before Herc cut his first tooth
The boy grew stronger ev'ry day
And that's the gospel truth

Thalia: [singing about Hercules' fame and success] And they slapped his face on ev'ry vase.
Clio: On ev'ry "vah-se."

Dialogue

[edit]
[The camera opens in on a museum hallway featuring Greek statues and vases.]
Narrator: Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Hercules. [A Greek vase is shown with a picture of Hercules fighting a monster. Vase zooms in slowly] But what is the measure of a true hero? Ah, that is what our story is-
Thalia: Will you listen to him? He's makin' the story sound like some greek tragedy.
Terpsichore: Lighten up, dude.
Calliope: We'll take it from here, darling.
Narrator: You go, girl.
Calliope: We are the Muses. Goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes.
Terpsichore: Heroes like Hercules!
Thalia: Honey, you mean "hunk-ules". Ooh, I'd like to make some sweet music with him-
[Muses start humming]
Calliope: Our story actually begins long before Hercules, many eons ago.. [scene changes colors and the Muses start walking and singing] Back when the world was new, The planet Earth was down on its luck. And everywhere gigantic brutes, Called Titans ran amok!
Thalia: It was a nasty place! There was a mess wherever you stepped.
Calliope: Where chaos reigned and earthquakes, and volcanoes never slept!
Thalia: Woo! Say it, girlfriend!
Muses: And then along came Zeus!
Calliope: He hurled his thunderbolt,
Muses: He zapped!
Thalia: Locked those suckers in a vault!
Muses: They're trapped! And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks. And that's the gospel truth! The guy was too type A to just relax.
Terpsichore: And that's the world's first dish.
Thalia: yeah, baby!
Melpomene: Zeus tamed the globe while still in his youth.
Muses: Though, honey, it may seem impossible- That's the gospel truth! On Mount Olympus life was neat and smooth as sweet vermouth. Though, honey, it may seem impossible- That's the gospel truth!
[schematic picture of Olympus zooms in and turns into a real one. While the Muses still repeat their "ah's and yeah's", camera moves up the mountain slope. While it does, the movie title, HERCULES, is shown.]
[In Mount Olympus; Zeus and the other gods to watching Hera holding baby Hercules. He is giggling]
Hera: Hercules. Behave yourself.
Zeus: Oh, look at this. Look how cute he is. [He blubbers at Hercules]Hah. Oh, he's strong. Like his Dad, hmm.
Hermes: Whoa. Excuse me. Hot stuff coming through. Excuse me. One side, Ares.
Hera: Why, Hermes-they're lovely.
Hermes: Yes, you know I had Orpheus do the arrangement, isn't that too nutty? Famous feast, you know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself.
Hera: Dear, keep these away from the baby.
Zeus: He won't hurt himself. Let the kid have a little fun. On behalf of my son, I'd like to thank you all for your wonderful gifts.
Hera: What about our gift, dear?
Zeus: Well, let's see here...we'll take, huh, yes, a little cirrus, and, uh, hmm, a touch of nimbostratus and a dash of cumulus. His name is Pegasus and he's all yours, son.
Hera: Mind his head.
Zeus: He's so tiny. My boy. My little Hercules. [He tucks Hercules in, kissing him]
Hades: How sentimental. You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat. Huh? Is this an audience or a mosaic? Hey, how you doin'? Lookin' good. Nice dress.
Zeus: So Hades. You finally made it. How's things in the underworld?
Hades: Ah, well, it's just fine. Y'know, little dark, little gloom, and there's always hey, Full of dead people, whaddya gonna do?" Ah, There's the little sunspot, little smootchie. And here is a sucker for the little sucker, eh? Here you go. Ya just- [Hercules squeezes Hades' finger, causing Hades to pull away in pain] Sheesh. Powerful little tyke.
Zeus: Come on, Hades. Don't be such a stiff, join the celebration.
Hades: Hey, love to, babe. But unlike you gods lounging about up here, I, regrettably, have a full-time gig that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus. So... can't. Love to, but can't.
Zeus: You ought to slow down, you'll work yourself to death... HA! Work yourself to death! [he and the other gods laugh] Oh, I kill myself!
Hades: If only, if only...
[Scene changes back to the Muses]
Calliope: If there's one god who don't want to get steamed up, it's Hades,
Terpsichore: 'cause he had an evil plan
[The scene changes to a boat on the River Styx, in which a skeleton is carrying Hades. Two souls lean up from the lake bed to grab Hades, who zaps them away and blows the smoke off his finger like a pistol.]
Thalia: [singing] He ran the Underworld, but thought the dead were dull and uncouth. He was as mean as ruthless- And that's the gospel truth.
[A pair of skeletal gates open, and Cerberus' heads snarl and snap their jaws viciously. Hades throws them a piece of steak for the dogs to eat, which the dogs fight over as the boat continues its journey down the river.] He had a plan to shake things up- And that's the gospel truth!
[Hades arrives home in Underworld]
Hades: PAIN!
Pain: [running down stairs] Coming, your most lugubriousness. [trips and bounces down the stairs, lands on spike claw, screams]
Hades: PANIC!
Panic: Oh! I'm sorry. I can handle it!
[Pain pulls himself off the spike claw, Panic trip flies into the air and accidentally lands his ears on Pain, causing him to scream in pain]
Pain: Pain! Oh.
Panic: And Panic.
Pain and Panic: Reporting for duty.
Hades: Fine, fine, fine. Just let me know the instant the Fates arrive.
Panic: Oh. They're here.
Hades: WHAT!? The Fates are here, and you didn't TELL ME!?
Pain and Panic: [both turn into worms] We are worms! Worthless worms!
Hades: Memo to me. Maim you after my meeting.
[The scene changes to show the cavern where the three Fates are waiting]
Atropos: Darling, hold that mortal's thread of life good and tight. [She cuts a thread with scissors and a woman scream is heard]
Lachesis: Incoming!
[The Fates laugh as a soul enters the cave and flies into a tunnel. The counter above the tunnel now says "Over 5000000000 Served", the number suddenly changes to "5000000001"]
Hades: Ladies. Hah! I'm so sorry that I'm-
Fates: [all at once] Late.
Lachesis: We knew you would be.
Clotho: We know everything!
Lachesis: Past.
Clotho: Present.
Atropos: And future. [to Panic] Indoor plumbing. It's gonna be big.
Hades: Great. Great. Anyway, see, Ladies, I was at this party, and I lost track of—
Fates: We know.
Hades: Yeah. I know you know. So, here's the deal. Zeus, Mr. High and Mighty, Mr. "Hey, you, get off of my cloud". Now, he has—
Fates: A bouncing baby brat.
Clotho: We know!
Hades: I KNOW! You know. I know. I got it. I got the concept. So, let me just ask: Is this kid gonna mess up my hostile takeover bid, or what? What do you think?
Clotho: [to Lachesis] Oh no, you don't. We are not supposed to reveal the future.
Hades: Oh wait, I'm sorry. Time out. Can I? Can I ask you a question, by the way? Did you cut your hair of something? You look fabulous. I mean, you look like a fate worse then death.
[Clotho hits Lachesis on the head, making the eye fall out into the hands of Panic]
Panic: Oh, gross!
Pain: Yech! It's blinkin'! [He kicks it into Hades' hand, who pulls off a hair from the eye]
Hades: Ladies, please, my fate is in your lovely hands.
Clotho: All right.
Lachesis: In 18 years precisely, The planets will align ever so nicely.
Hades: Ay, verse. Oy.
Lachesis: The time to act will be at hand / Unleash the Titans, your monstrous band.
Hades: Mmm-hmm. Good, good.
Clotho: Then the once-proud Zeus will finally fall / And you, Hades, will rule all!
Hades: YES! HADES RULES!
Atropos: A word of caution to this tale...
Hades: Excuse me?
Atropos: Should Hercules fight, you will fail.
[The Fates laugh, then disappear]
Hades: WHAT?! Okay, fine, fine, I'm cool, I'm fine. Pain. Panic. Got a little riddle for ya. How do you kill a god?
Pain: I do not... know.
Panic: You can't. They're immortal.
Hades: Bingo, they're immortal. So, first you got to turn the little sunspot... mortal.
[As Pain and Panic kidnap Hercules, Zeus and Hera are woken up by the commotion.]
Zeus: Huh?
Hera: What? What is it?
Zeus and Hera: The baby!
[They run to the cradle and find out that Hercules was kidnapped.]
Hera: Hercules! [starts sobbing]
Zeus: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Panic: Now, we did it! Zeus is gonna use us for target practice.
Pain: Just hang onto the kid.
Panic: Hurry. Let's just kill the kid and get it over with, okay?
Pain: Here you go, kid. A little Grecian formula.
Panic: Look at that! He's changing. Can we do it now?
Pain: No, no, no, he has to drink the whole potion. Every last drop.
Amphitryon: [offscreen] Who's there? [Pain and Panic run away, dropping the empty vial. It breaks and one last drop falls into the ground] Alcmene, over here.
Alcmene: Oh, you poor thing. Oh, don't cry.
Amphitryon: Is anybody there?
Panic: Now?
Pain: Now. [Their shadows are shown as they walk and transform into snakes]
Amphitryon: He must have been abandoned.
Alcmene: For so many years we've prayed to the gods to bless us with a child. [Amphitryon reads Hercules' name from a medallion on his neck] Perhaps, they've answered our prayers.
Amphitryon: Perhaps they have... Hercules?
[Pain and Panic, as snakes, attack, but Baby Hercules catches them, and giggling happily, hits them several times against the ground, ties into a knot and sends them flying]
Panic: Hades is gonna kill us when he finds out what happened.
Pain: You mean, if he finds out.
Panic: Of course he's gonna... If. If is good.
[Pan to Mount Olympus in dark clouds and then resolve to the Muses]
Calliope: It was tragic. Zeus led all the gods on a frantic search.
Terpsichore: But by the time they found the baby, it was too late.
Melepomene: Young Herc was mortal now, But since he did not drink the last drop. He still retained his godlike strength- So thank his lucky star! But Zeus and Hera wept, Because their son could never come home. They'd have to watch their precious baby, Grow up from afar. Though Hades' horrid plan, Was hatched before Herc cut his first tooth, The boy grew stronger every day, And that's the gospel truth!
Muses: The gospel truth.
[Resolve to country with sheeps baaing. A carriage with a lot of hay moves along the road unnaturally fast, then we see Amphitryon and his mule sitting before it]
Amphitryon: Hercules, slow down! Look out!
[Workers jump out of the way]
Young Hercules: Oops! S-s-sorry guys!
Worker 1: Hey, watch where you're goin'!
Worker 2: Sunday driver!
Young Hercules: [enters the middle of the square and stops]
Amphitryon: Thanks, son. When old Penelope twisted her ankle back there, I thought we were done for.
Young Hercules: [picks up the haystack] No problem, Pop.
Amphitryon: Uh, don't-don't-don't unload just yet. First I have to finagle with Phideas.
Hercules: Okay. [drops the hay on the cart which makes Penelope fly up into the sky] Oops, sorry, Penelope.
Amphitryon: Now, Hercules, this time, please just—
Young Hercules: I know, I know. [catches Penelope] Stay by the cart.
Amphitryon: That's my boy.
Young Hercules: [stays until he sees a man losing balance with a big clay pot]
Demetrius: Oh, my goodness. Whoa!
Young Hercules: [catches him just in time] Careful!
Demetrius: [sighs in relief] Why, thank you.
Young Hercules: No problem.
Demetrius: Why, Hercules. It's you.
Young Hercules: Let me, let me help you with that.
Demetrius: No, no, no, no, no, I got it. I'm fine, you just run along.
Young Hercules: You sure?
Demetrius: Oh, yes. Absolutely.
[A frisbee falls to his feet]
Ithicles: Yo! Give it here! [gasps]
Young Hercules: Hey, you need an extra guy?
Ithicles: Uh.. sorry, Herc. We already got.. five. And we want to keep it an even number.
Young Hercules: Hey, wait a second. Five isn't an even—
Ithicles: See ya, Herc.
Teenage boy: What a geek!
Teenage boy 2: Destructo boy.
Ithicles: Maybe we should call him "Jerkules".
Teenage boys: [laughing]
Ithicles: Heads up!
Young Hercules: I-I got it! [hits a pillar, which starts falling] Uh-oh.. Oh no!.. It's okay.. [the pillar starts falling one by one, like domino. He sees that and accidentally throws the pillar he was holding away, but it hits another standing pillar and another domino wave starts going around the square] Hey! Whoa!
Amphitryon: Son!
Young Hercules: Hang on, Pop! Be right back!
[The two domino waves seem to be aiming at the shop with clay pots]
Demetrius: Oh my! Oh no! Don't! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
[The last two pillars stop above the man's head]
Demetrius: [sighs]
Young Hercules: [running to save him, slips and slides to him fast] Watch out!
Demetrius: [screaming]
[The town square is now destroyed]
Ithicles: Nice catch, Jerkules.
Amphitryon: Son-
Demetrius: This is the last straw, Amphitryon!
Woman: That boy is a menace!
Man: He's too dangerous to be around normal people!
Townsfolk: [agree]
Amphitryon: He didn't mean any harm, he's just a kid. He just can't control his strength.
Demetrius: I am warning you. You keep that-that-that... freak away from here!
Teenage boy: Freak! Yeah, go away!
[On a grassy hillside, Hercules and Amphitryon sit alone.]
Amphitryon: Son, you shouldn't let those things they said back there get to you.
Younng Hercules: But Pop, they're right. I-I am a freak. I try to fit in, I really do. I just can't. Sometimes.. I feel like, like I really don't belong here. Like I'm supposed to be.. someplace else.
Amphitryon: Hercules, son—
Young Hercules: I know it doesn't make any sense.
Young Hercules': [Hercules walk away and sings] I have often dreamed of a far off place, where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me. Where the crowds will cheer when they see my face, and a voice keeps sayin' this is where I'm meant to be. I will find my way I can go the distance. I'll be there someday. If I can be strong, I know every mile, will be worth my while, I would go most anywhere to feel like I...belong.
[He returns home]
Amphitryon: Hercules, there's something your mother and I have been meaning to tell ya.
(inside the house)
Young Hercules': But if you found me, then where did I come from? Why was I left here?
Alcmene: This was around your neck when we found you. It's the symbol of the gods.
Young Hercules: This is it! Don't you see? Maybe they have the answers! I'll go to the temple of Zeus and-- Ma, Pop, you're the greatest parents anyone could have, but.. I-I gotta know.
[Next morning, Hercules walks to the Temple and sings]
Young Hercules: [singing] I am on my way, I can go the distance. I don't care how far, somehow I'll be strong, I know every mile, will be worth my while, I would go most everywhere to find where I...belong.
[Hercules enters the Temple of Zeus]
Young Hercules: Oh mighty Zeus, please, hear me and answer my prayer. I need to know: Who am I? Wh-where do I belong? [wind blows, lightning hits the statue of Zeus, flame ignites in braziers and the statue of Zeus comes to life]
Zeus: My boy. My little Hercules. [Hercules screams] Hey, hold on kiddo. What's your hurry? After all these years is this a kind of hello to give your father?
Young Hercules: Father?
Zeus: Didn't know you had a famous father, did you? SURPRISE! Look how you've grown. Why you've got your mother's beautiful eyes and my strong chin.
Young Hercules: I-I don't understand. If you are my father, that would make me a—
Zeus: A god.
Young Hercules: A god. A god!
Zeus: Hey, you wanted answers, and by thunder, you're old enough to know the truth.
Young Hercules: But why did you leave me on earth? Didn't you want me?
Zeus: Of course we did. Your mother and I loved you with all our hearts. But someone stole you from us and turned you mortal, and only gods can live on Mount Olympus.
Young Hercules: And you can't do a thing?
Zeus: I can't, Hercules, but you can.
Young Hercules: R-really? W-what? I-I'll do anything.
Zeus: Hercules, if you can prove yourself a true hero on Earth, your godhood will be restored.
Young Hercules: A true hero. Great. Uh, exactly how do you become a true hero?
Zeus: First, you must seek out Philoctetes, the trainer of heroes.
Young Hercules: Seek out Philoctetes. Right. I'll-- [he falls off Zeus' palm] Whoa!
Zeus: Whoa! Hold your horses! Which reminds me... [whistles and the Pegasus flies through an opening in the roof] Ha-ha! You probably don't remember Pegasus but you two go way back, son.
Young Hercules: Oh, Pegasus.
Zeus: He is a magnificent horse. With the brain of a bird.
Young Hercules: I'll find Philoctetes and become a true hero.
Zeus: That's the spirit.
Young Hercules: I won't let you down, father. Yee-haw!
Zeus: Good luck, son.
[Hercules flies away, singing]
Young Hercules: [singing] I will beat the odds, I can go the distance! I will face the world, fearless, proud and strong! I will please the gods, I can go the distance, till I find my hero's welcome right...where...I...belong!
[Isle of Philoctetes]
Young Hercules: You sure this is the right place? [Hercules sees three nymphs laughing in the trees, then sees a goat's behind sticking from the bushes.] What's the matter, little guy? You stuck?
Phil: Whoa! Hey, butt out, buddy!
Young Hercules: Ugh!
Phil: Girls! Stop! Stop! Come back, come back, come back. Whoa, whoa-- [the nymph he gets hold on turns into flowers]  oh, geez! Whait! Whoa, whoa, whoa! [another nymph turns into a tree] Oh, nymphs! They can't keep their hands off me.
Nymph: Hey!
Phil: [to Hercules] What's the matter? You never seen a satyr before?
Young Hercules: Uh, no. Can you help us? We're looking for someone called Philoctetes.
Phil: Call me Phil.
Young Hercules: [sqeezes his hand] Phil!
Phil: Ow!
Young Hercules: Boy, am I glad to meet you! I'm Hercules. This is Pegasus.
[Pegasus licks Phil]
Phil: Animals!. Disgusting!
Young Hercules: I need your help. I want to become a hero. A true hero.
Phil: Sorry, kid, can't help ya.
Young Hercules: Wait! [He pulls the door Phil closed before him and raises it in the air with one hand]
Phil: Whoo!
Young Hercules: Uh, sorry. Why not?
Phil: Two words: I am retired.
[Hercules counts on fingers]
Young Hercules: Look, I gotta do this. Haven't you ever had a dream, something you wanted so bad you'd do anything?
Phil: [sighs]: Kid, come inside, I want to show you something.
[Inside, Hercules hits his head against a wooden mast.]
Phil: Watch it! That was part of the mast of the Argo.
Young Hercules: The Argo?
Phil: Yeah. Who do you think taught Jason how to sail? Cleopatra? [He shows Hercules a row of helmets.] I trained all those would-be heroes. Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus. A lot of "yeuseus." And every single one of those bums let me down. Flatter then a discus. None of them could go the distance. And then there was Achilles. Now there was a guy who had it all - the build, the foot speed. He could jab, he could take a hit, he could keep on coming. But that furshlugginer heel of his! He barely gets nicked there once and - kaboom!  He's history. Yeah, I had a dream once. I dreamed I was gonna train the greatest hero there ever was. So great the gods would hang a picture of him in the stars... All across the sky, and people would say, "That's Phil's boy." That's right. Eh, but dreams are for rookies. A guy can only take so much disappointment.
Young Hercules: But I am different than those other guys, Phil! I can go the distance. Come on, I'll show you.
Phil: [grunts] Geez, you don't give up, do ya?
Young Hercules: Watch this. [He raises something big which looks like a UFO and sends it flying away.]
Phil: Holy Hera.. You know maybe if I-- No! Snap  out of it! I am too old to get mixed up in this stuff again.
Young Hercules: But if I don't become a true hero, I'll never be able to rejoin my father, Zeus.
Phil: Hold it! Zeus is your father, right?
Young Hercules: Uh-huh.
Phil: [laughs] Zeus! The big guy. He's your daddy! Mr.  Lightning Bolts, read me a book, will ya.. da-da? Zeus! [mimics Zeus]  Once upon a time—
Young Hercules: It's the truth!
Phil: Please! [singing]  So you wanna be a hero, kid? well, whoop-de-do. I have been around the block before with blockheads just like you. Each and every one was disappointment. Pain for which there ain't no ointment. So much for excuses, though a kid of Zeus is, asking me to jump into the fray. [spoken] My answer is two words. [lightning hits Phil]  Okay.
Young Hercules: You mean you'll do it?
Phil: You win.
Young Hercules: You won't be sorry, Phil.
Phil: Oh, gods.
Young Hercules: So when do we start? Can we start now?
Phil: Oy, vey. [singing]: I'd given up hope that someone would come along. A fella who'd ring the bell for once not the gong. The kind who wins trophies, won't settle for low fees, at least semi-pro fees, but no, I get the greenhorn! I've been out to pasture, pal, my ambition gone. Content to spend lazy days and to graze my lawn. But you need an advisor, A satyr, but wiser, A good merchandiser and-- whoa! There goes my ulcer! I'm down to one last hope and I hope it's you, 'though, kid, you're not exactly a dream come true. I trained enough turkeys, who never came through! You're my only last hope, so you'll have to do. [spoken] Rule #6: When rescuing a damsel, always handle with care. [Hercules falls into water] No! Rule #95, kid: Concentrate! Rule #96: Aim! [singing] Demigods have faced the odds and ended up a mockery. Don't believe in the stories that you read on all the crockery. To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art. Like painting a masterpiece it's a work of heart. It takes more then sinew, comes down to what's in you. You have to continue, to grow!
[Hercules is an adult now]
Phil: [spoken] Now that's more like it! [singing] I'm down to one last shot and my last high note, before that blasted underworld gets my goat. My dreams are on you, kid. Go make 'em come true! Climb that uphill slope! Keep pushing that envelope! You're my one last hope. And, kids, it's up to you! Yeah!
Hercules: Did you see that? Next stop, Olympus.
Phil: All right, just take it easy, champ.
Hercules: I am ready, I want to get off this island. I want to see battles and monsters! Rescue some damsels... You know, heroic stuff.
Phil: Well—
Hercules: Aw, come on, Phil!
Phil: Well, okay, okay. You want a road test? Saddle up, kid. We're going to Thebes!
Hercules: Yahoo! [now flying on Pegasus] So, what's in Thebes?
Phil: A lot of problems. It's a big tough town, good place to start building a rep. [They hear a woman screaming.] Sounds like your basic D.I.D. - Damsel In Distress.
Hercules: Hyah! [They land and see Meg chased by a monster centaur.]
Nessus: Not so fast, sweetheart.
Meg: I swear, Nessus. Put me down or I'll—
Nessus: Whoo! I like 'em fiery!
[In the bushes, Hercules gets angry, while Phil instructs.]
Phil: Now remember, kid. First, analyze the situation. Don't just barrel in there without thinking. Eh? [Hercules already walks to Nessus and Megara anyway.] He's losin' points for this!
Meg: You don't know what you're—
Hercules: Halt!
[Hercules goes to stop Nessus the centaur from manhandling Meg]
Nessus: [looms over him] Step aside, two-legs.
Hercules: Pardon me, my good, uh...sir, but I demand you release that young...
Meg: Keep moving, junior.
Hercules: ...lady. But you...aren't you...a damsel in distress?
Meg: I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.
Hercules: Uh-- *ahem* Ma'am, I'm afraid you may be too close to the situation to realize-- [he takes his sword out and Nessus immediately hits him so he flies away]
Phil: Ohhh! What are you doin'? Get your sword!
Hercules: [searching in water] Sword. Right, right.. Rule #15: A hero is only as good as his weapon!
[He picks up a fish and directs it at Nessus. Nessus laugh and Megara looks bored. Nessus then hits Hercules with a fist and Hercules flies away again]
Phil: [groans and tells to Pegasus who rushes to help] Whoa! Hold it! Hold on! He's gotta do it on his own. Come on, kid! Concentrate! Use your head!
Hercules: Oh... [He surges forward and socks Nessus with his head. Nessus flies away]
Phil: All right! Not bad, kid. Not exactly what I had in mind, but not bad. [Meg gets up from water and coughs]
Hercules: Oh, gee, Miss, I'm I'm really sorry.
Meg: Oh.
Hercules: That was dumb.
Meg: Yeah. [Nessus runs in again]
Hercules: Excuse me. [He attacks Nessus, hits his head several times, and throws him]
Phil: Nice work! Excellente!
Meg: Is wonderboy here for real?
Phil: What are you talking about? Of course he's real... [notices Meg] Whoa! And by the way, sweet cheeks, I am real too. [Phil gets on Megara's lap, but she pushes him into water]
Meg: Ugh. [meanwhile, Hercules ride on Nessus]
Hercules: [like a cowboy] Yee-hah! Yahoo! [He finishes Nessus in a spectacular fight] How was that, Phil?
Phil: Rein it in, rookie. You can get away with mistakes like those in the minor decathlons, but this is the big leagues!
Hercules: [sighs] At least I beat him. Didn't I?
Phil: Next time, don't let your guard down because of a pair of big goo-goo eyes! D-oh! It's like I keep tellin' ya. You gotta stay focused, and you-- [Hercules walks up to Meg]
Hercules: Are you, uh, all right, Miss, uh—
Meg: Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends. So, did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorials?
Hercules: Uh, I'm, um, uh—
Meg: Are you always that articulate? [she turns to leave]
Hercules: Hercules. my-- *ahem* My name is Hercules.
Meg: Hercules, huh? I think I prefer Wonderboy.
Hercules: So, uh, how-how-how'd you get mixed up with the, uh—
Meg: Pinhead with hooves? Well, you know how men are. They think that "no" means "yes" and "get lost" means "take me, I'm yours". Don't worry, Shorty here can explain it to ya later. [Phil growls] Well, thanks for everything, Herc. It's been a real slice.
Hercules: Wait! Um.. can we give you a ride? [Pegasus snorts, whinnies, and jumps to a high branch]
Meg: Uh, I don't think your Pinto likes me very much.
Hercules: Pegasus? Oh, no, don't be silly. He'd be more than happy to-- ow! [Pegasus drops an apple on Hercules' head]
Meg: I'll be all right. I'm a big, tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything. Bye-bye Wonderboy.
Hercules: Bye... She's something, isn't she, Phil?
Phil: Yeah, oh yeah, she's really something. A real pain in the patella! Earth to Herc! Come in, Herc! Come in, Herc! We got a job to do, remember? Thebes is still waitin'.
Hercules: Yeah. Yeah. I know.
[Meg walks into the forest and comes upon a rabbit and a gopher]
Meg: Aw, how cute. A couple of rodents looking for a theme park.
Pain: [as a bunny] Who you callin' a rodent, sister? I'm a bunny.
Panic: [as a gopher] And I'm his gopher.
Pain and Panic: Ta-dah! [they turn into themselves]
Meg: I thought I smelled a rat.
Hades: Meg.
Meg: Speak of the devil.
Hades: Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little nut, Meg. What exactly happened here? I thought you were gonna persuade the river guardian to join my team for the uprising, and here I am, kind of river guardian-less.
Meg: I gave it my best shot, but he made me an offer I had to refuse.
Hades: Fine. So, instead of subtracting two years from your sentence, hey, I'm gonna add two on, okay? Give that your best shot.
Meg: Look, it wasn't my fault, it was this wonder-boy Hercules.
Panic: Hercules. Why does that name ring a bell?
Pain: I dunno. Maybe we owe money?
Hades: What… was that name… again?
Meg: Hercules. He comes on with this big 'innocent farmboy' routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.
Pain: Wait a minute. Wasn't Hercules the name of that kid we were supposed to...
Pain and Panic: OH MY GODS!!!
Pain: Run for it!
Hades: So you "took care of him", huh? "Dead as a doornail." Weren't those your exact words?!
Pain: This might be a different Hercules.
Panic: Yeah, I mean Hercules is a [Hades angrily chokes him] very popular name nowadays.
Pain: Remember like a few years ago-every other boy was named Jason and the girls were all named Britney?
Hades: I'm about to re-arrange the cosmos... and the one SCHLEMIEL... WHO CAN LOUSE IT UP...IS WALTZING AROUND... IN THE WOODS!
[Hades literally explodes with rage, burning down the entire forest. Meg ducks down from the incoming blaze, and he also starts panting]
Pain: Wait. Wait, big guy. We can still cut in on his waltzing.
Panic: That's right. And we made him mortal, that's a good thing. Didn't we?
Hades: Hmm. Fortunately, for the three of you, we still have time to correct this rather egregious oversight. And this time, no foul-ups.
[Meanwhile, Hercules and Phil are flying on Pegasus, as they reach the city of Thebes.]
Hercules: Wow! Is that all one town?
Phil: One town. A million troubles. The one and only Thebes. The big olive itself. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. [They enter the city.] Stick with me, kid. This city is a dangerous place. [They almost get hit by a passing carriage.]
Driver: Look where you're goin' numbskull!
Phil: Hey, I'm walkin' here! You see what I mean? I'm tellin' you- wackos.
Man: Pita bread, pita bread, get your pita bread here!
Smuggler: Hey, Mack. [he opens his coat at Phil and Hercules]
Phil: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Smuggler: You wanna buy a sundial?
Phil: He's not interested, all right? Come on, kid.
Man: The end is coming! Can't you feel it?
Phil: Yes, yes. Thank you for the info. Yes. We'll ponder that for a while. [to Hercules] Just stare at the sidewalk. Come on. Don't make eye contact. People here are nuts. That's because they live in a city of turmoil. Trust me, kid, you're gonna be just what the doctor ordered.
[At a fountain nearby, a group of people are discussing the city's problems.]
Lumpy Woman: It was tragic! We lost everything in the fire
Burnt Man: Everything except old Snowball here. [Snowball, a now black, and electrically shocked cat, meows.]
Tall Thebian: Now, were the fires before or after the earthquake?
Thin Woman: They were after the earthquake, I remember.
Lumpy Woman: But before the flood.
Old Man: Don't even get me started on the crime rate.
Lumpy woman: Thebes has certainly gone downfall in a hurry.
Old Man: Tell me about it. It seems like every time I turn around there's some new monster wreaking havoc and I—
Burnt Man: All we need now is a plague or locusts.
[A locust hops in and chirps, scaring everybody.]
Old Man: That's it! I'm movin' to Sparta!
Hercules: [arriving up to them] Excuse me. It, uh *ahem*, seems to me that what you folks need is a hero.
Tall Thebian: [skeptically] Yeah, and who are you?
Hercules: I'm Hercules, and, uh, I happen to be... a hero. 
[crowd laughs]
Old Man: Is that so?
Thin Woman: A hero!
Old Man: Have you ever saved a town before?
Hercules: Uh, no, uh, not exactly, but I—
Tall Thebian: Have you ever reversed a natural disaster?
Hercules: Well, uh... no.
Tall Thebian: Oh, listen to this. He's just another chariot chaser. This we need.
Thin Woman: That's a laugh.
Phil: Don't you pea brains get it?! This kid is the genuine article!
Burnt Man: Hey, isn't that goat man who trained Achilles?
Phil: Watch it, pal.
Tall Thebian: Yeah, you're right. Hey, uh, nice job on those heels! Ya missed a spot!
Phil: You… I got your heel RIGHT HERE! I'll wipe that STUPID GRIN OFF YOUR FACE! YOU LARBUTT!
Hercules: Hey, Phil! Phil! Phil! Take it easy, Phil! Phil.
Tall Thebian: What are you crazy?! Sheesh.
Lumpy Woman: Young man, we need a professional hero. Not an amateur.
Hercules: No, wait! Stop! How am I supposed to prove myself a hero if nobody will give me a chance?
Phil: You'll get your chance; you just need some kind of catastrophe or disaster.
Meg: Please! Help! Please! There's been a terrible accident!
Hercules: Meg?
Phil: Speaking of disasters.
Meg: Wonderboy! Hercules! Thank goodness!
Hercules: Wha-What's wrong?
Meg: Outside of town, two little boys, they were playing in the gorge. There was that rock slide, a terrible rock slide! They're trapped!
Hercules: Kids? Trapped? Phil, this is great!
Meg: You are really choked up about this, aren't ya?
Hercules: Come on!
Meg: No, you don't understand. I have this terrible fear of HEIGHTS!
Phil: I'm right behind ya, kid! Whoo, I'm way behind ya. I've got a fur wedgie.
[Hercules and Meg land, and Hercules dismounts from Pegasus.]
Hercules: Are you okay?
Meg: I'll be fine. Just get me down before I ruin the upholstery.
Pain: [as boy] Help! I can't breathe!
Panic: [as boy] Hurry!
Pain: [as boy] Get us out!
Panic: [as boy] We're suffocating! Somebody call IX-I-I!
Hercules: Easy, fellas, you'll be all right.
Pain: [as boy] We can't last much longer!
Panic: [as boy] Get us out before we get crushed!
[Hercules raises a huge boulder. Kids run out from under it and the crowd cheers lightly]
Hercules: How you boys doin'?
Panic: [as boy] We're okay now
Pain: [as boy] Jeepers, mister, you are really strong!
Hercules: [still holding the stone] Well, try to be a little more careful next time, okay, kids?
Pain: [as boy] We sure will! [they run away, up the slope and face Hades]
Hades: A stirring performance, boys. I was really moved.
Panic: "Jeepers, Mister" ?
Pain: I was going for innocence.
Hades: And, hey, two thumbs way, way up for our leading lady. [looking at Meg] What a dish. What a doll.
Meg: [quietly] Get outta there, you big lug, while you still can.
Hercules: Phil, I did great. They even applauded, sort of.
[Growling sound begins]
Phil: Huh! I hate to burst your bubble, kid, but that ain't applause.
[Hydra appears]
Hercules: Ph-ph-ph-phil? What do you call that thing?
Phil: Two words! Am-scray!!
Hades: Let's get ready to rumble!
[Hydra and Hercules start fighting]
Phil: That's it. Dance around! Dance around! Watch the teeth. Watch the teeth. Keep going. Come on. Come on. Lead with your left. Lead with your left! You're other left!!
[Finally Hercules slices the head of Hydra off. Crowd cheers.]
Phil: All right! All right! You are bad! Okay!
Hercules: See, Phil? That-- That wasn't so hard. [He drops sword and falls flat on the ground]
Phil: Kid, kid, kid, how many horns do ya see?
Hercules: Six?
Phil: Eh, close enough. Let's get you cleaned up.
[Above on Hades' watching perch, Panic shivers and gulps.]
Hades: Guys, guys, relax. It's only halftime.
[Below, Hercules and Phil hear rumbling from Hydra's body.]
Phil: That doesn't sound good. [Hydra gets three new heads] Definitely not good!
[Hercules on Pegasus fights with Hydra and keeps slicing his heads off, getting more and more new ones]
Phil: WILL YOU FORGET THAT HEAD-SLICING THING?
[Hercules gets knocked off Pegasus and falls among heads and necks of Hydra]
Hercules: Phil, I don't think we covered this one in basic training!
[Hercules escapes, but falls back from the cliff and is now pressed against the wall by Hydra's paw]
Hades: My favorite part of the game: sudden death.
[Hercules crushes the rock on Hydra and gets buried under rocks himself too.]
Phil: Oh! There goes another one. Just like Achilles.
Hades: [lighting himself a cigar] Game. Set. Match.
[Hercules appears from Hydra's dead paw. Crowd cheers really loud now.]
Hercules: Phil, you gotta admit, that was pretty heroic.
Phil: Ya did it, kid! Ya did it! You won by a landslide!
[Above, Hades turns a bright shade of red, destroying his cigar and pinches his minions' eye sockets.]
Panic: [in pain] Hades mad.
Meg: Well. What do ya know?
[Cut to Muses]
Calliope: [spoken] From that day forward, our boy Hercules could do no wrong. He was so hot, steam looked cool. Oh, yeah! [singing] Bless my soul, Herc was on a roll
Thalia: Person of the week, in every greek opinion poll
Terpsichore: What a pro!
Calliope: Herc could stop a show, point him at a monster and you're talkin' S.R.O. He was a no one!
Muses: A zero, a zero
Calliope: Now he's a honcho!
Muses: He's a hero!
Calliope: He was a kid with his act down pat!
Muses: Zero to hero in no time flat! Zero to hero!
Calliope: Just like that!
Muses: When he smiled the girls went wild! With oohs and aahs!
Thalia: And they slapped his face, on every vase!
Clio: On every "Vahse"!
Muses: From appearance fees and royalties. Our Herc had cash to burn. Now nouveau riche and famous.
Calliope: He could tell you what's a Grecian urn
Muses: Say amen! There he goes again
Melpomene: Sweet and undefeated. And an awesome ten for ten.
Muses: Folks lined up just to watch him flex
Thalia: And this perfect package packed a pair of pretty pecs
Muses: Hercie, he comes, he sees, he conquers. Honey, the crowds were goin' bonkers. He showed the moxie brains and spunk -- yeah! From zero to hero
Thalia: A major hunk
Muses: Zero to hero
Calliope: And who'd have thunk... Who put the glad in gladiator?
Muses: Hercules!
Melpomene: Who's darin' deeds are great theater?
Muses: Hercules!
Melpomene: Is he bold?
Male Chorus: No one braver!
Terpsichore: Is he sweet?
Muses: Our favorite flavor! Hercules (My man)! Hercules! Hercules! Hercules! (Look at my) Hercules! Hercules! Hercules! Bless my soul, Herc was on a roll. Undefeated. Riding high.
Calliope: And the nicest guy
Muses: Not conceited. He was a nothing, zero, zero. Now he's a honcho, he's our hero! He hit the heights at breakneck speed. From zero to hero. Herc is a hero. Now he's a hero.
Calliope: Yes, indeed!
[Hades practices shooting at targets]
Hades: Pull!
Meg: Nice shooting, Rex.
Hades: I can't believe this guy. I throw everything I've got at him and it doesn't even- What...are...those?
Pain: Um, I don't know. I thought they looked kinda dashing.
Hades: I got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke, and you… are wearing… HIS… MERCHANDISE?!
[Suddenly the sound of slurping can be heard and Hades turns to Panic who is drinking Hercules soda cup]
Panic: [chuckles nervously] Thirsty?
Hades: GAAARRRGGGGHHH!!!! [He blasts them]
Meg: Looks like your game's over. Wonderboy is hitting every curve you throw at him.
Hades: Oh yeah... I wonder if maybe I haven't been throwing the right curves at him. Meg, my sweet.
Meg: Don't even go there.
Hades: See, he's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness I mean for what? Pandora, it was the box thing, for the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay? We simply need to find out Wonderboy's.
Meg: I've done my part. Get your little imps—
Hades: They couldn't handle him as a baby. I need someone who can... handle him as a man.
Meg: Hey, I've sworn off manhandling.
Hades: Well, you know, that's good because that's what got you into the jam in the first place, isn't it? You sold your soul to me to save your boyfriend's life. And how does this creep thank you? By running off with some babe. He hurt you real bad, didn't he, Meg? Huh?
Meg: Look, I learned my lesson, okay?
Hades: Which is exactly why I got a feelin' you're gonna leap at my new offer. You give me the key to bringing down wonder breath and I give you the thing that you crave most in the entire cosmos: your freedom.
[At the Temple of Zeus]
Hercules: You should have been there, father! I mangled the minotaur, grappled with the Gorgon, Just like Phil told me, I analyzed the situation, controlled my strength and kicked! The crowds went wild! Thank you, thank you.
Zeus: Hah! You're doin' great, son. You're doin' your old man proud.
Hercules: I am glad to hear you say that, father. I've been waiting for this day a long time.
Zeus: Hmm.. What day is that, son?
Hercules: The day I rejoin the gods.
Zeus: You've done wonderfully, you really have, my boy. You're just not there yet. You haven't proved yourself a true hero.
Hercules: But father, I've beaten every single monster I've come up against. I'm-I'm the most famous person in all of Greece. I'm-- I'm an action figure!
Zeus: I'm afraid being famous isn't the same as being a true hero.
Hercules: What more can I do?
Zeus: It's something you have to discover for yourself.
Hercules: But how can I--
Zeus: Look inside your heart.
Hercules: Father, wait!
[In the city, a carriage passes past rich gates]
Guide: On your left is Hercules' villa. My next stop is the Pecs and Flex gift shop where you can pick up the Great Hero's 30-minute workout scroll "Buns of Bronze."
[Inside the villa, Hercules is posing for a picture on a vase,  dressed in the skin of the lion Scar from Disney's The Lion King]
Phil: At 1:00 you got a meeting with king Augeas. He's got a problem with his stables. I'd advise you not to wear your new sandals.
Hercules: Phil?
Artist: I told you, don't move!
Phil: D.G.R., the Daughters of the Greek Revolution
Hercules: Phil?
Phil: At 3:00, you gotta get a girdle from some amazons.
Hercules: [dropping club and shield] Phil, what's the point?
[The artist, now furious, gives out a loud yell]
Artist: YAIEEEEE! THAT'S IT!!
Phil: Keep your toga on, pal.
[Artist throws the paints on Phil, making him look like a clown and leaves]
Phil: What do you mean, "what's the point?" You wanna go to Olympus, don't ya?
Hercules: Yeah, but this stuff doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere.
[He throws the skin of Scar to Phil]
Phil: [wiping the paint off his face with it] You can't give up now, I'm counting on ya'.
Hercules: I gave this everything I had.
Phil: Listen to me, kid. I seen 'em all. And I am tellin' you - and this is the honest-to-Zeus truth - you got somethin' I never seen before.
Hercules: Really?
Phil: I can feel it right down to these stubby bow legs of mine. There is nothin' you can't do, kid.
[Door opens and fan girls scream]
Fan girls: It's him!
Phil: Hey, watch it! Watch it! Watch—
Fan girls: I touched his elbow! I got his sweatband!
Hercules: Phil, help!
Phil: Okay, escape plan beta.
Hercules: Gotcha.
[Phil blows whistle, fan girls look at him for a moment and Hercules disappears]
Fan girls: Hey! Where is he?
Phil: There he goes! On the verranda!
[Girls run away, Phil too, but when door closes, Meg appears from behind it, she walks and sees Hercules' toes under a curtain]
Meg: Let's see, what could be behind curtain number one?
Hercules: Meg!
Meg: It's all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed.
Hercules: Gee, I-I-It's great to see you. I-I-I missed you.
Meg: [dropping on a couch] So, this is what heroes do on their days off
Hercules: I am no hero.
Meg: Sure you are. Everybody in Greece thinks you're the greatest thing since they put the pocket in pita.
Hercules: [chuckles] I know. It's-it's crazy you know, I can't go anywhere without being mobbed, I mean—
Meg: Ah. You sound like you could use a break. Think your nanny goat would go berserk if you played hooky this afternoon?
Hercules: Oh gee. I-I don't know, uh, Phil's got the rest of the day pretty much booked.
Meg: Ah, Phil, Schmill.. Just follow me. Out the window, round the dumbbells, you lift up the back wall and we're gone.
[Evening, outdoors]
Hercules: Wow. What a day. First that restaurant by the bay,
Meg: Mmm.
Hercules: and then that, that play, that, that Oedipus thing. Man! I thought I had problems.
[Both chuckle and such, two little birds sitting near turn into Pain and Panic to speak to Meg]
Panic: Psst! Stop foolin' around!
Pain: Yeah. Get the goods, sister.
[Hercules turns back and they turn into birst and tweet innocently]
Hercules: I didn't know that playing hooky could be so much fun.
Meg: Yeah. Neither did I.
Hercules: Thanks, Meg.
Meg: Oh.. Don't that me just yet. Oh! [She falls into Hercules' arms]
Hercules: Oops, careful.
Meg: Sorry. Weak ankles.
Hercules: Oh, yeah? Well, maybe you better sit down for a while. [[He carries her on a bench and they sit down]
Meg: So, uh, do you have any problems with things like.. this? [She stretched her leg and holds her foot right before Hercules' face]
Hercules: Uh.....
Meg: Weak ankles, I mean.
Hercules: Oh. Uh, no. Not really.
Meg: [moving closer to him] No weaknesses whatsoever? No trick knee?
Hercules: Uh—
Meg: [moving even more close] Ruptured... disks?
Hercules: No. I'm I'm afraid I'm, uh.. fit as a fiddle. [He finally stands up from the bench]
Meg: Wonderboy, you are perfect.
Hercules: Thanks. [He sends a coin jumping on a water in a fountain and it breaks the arms off the statue of Venus] Whoops.
Meg: It looks better that way. No, it really does.
Hercules: You know, when I was a kid I, I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else.
Meg: You wanted to be petty and dishonest?
Hercules: Everybody's not like that.
Meg: Yes, they are.
Hercules: You're not like that
Meg: How do you know what I'm like?
Hercules: All I know is.. You're the most amazing person with... weak ankles I've ever met. [Meg steps back and gets pricked on an arrow of a tiny statue of Amur] Meg, when I'm with you I-I don't feel so... alone.
Meg: Sometimes it's better to be alone.
Hercules: What do you mean?
Meg: Nobody can hurt you.
Hercules: Meg? I would never ever hurt you.
Meg: And I don't wanna hurt you, so... let's both do ourselves a favor and.. stop this... um.. before... we--
[Their lips met for the kiss, but the moment before it happens bright light flashes into their eyes. It is Phil, on Pegasus, impersonating police helicopter]
Phil: All right! Break it up! Break it up! Party's over! I been lookin' all over this town!
Meg: Calm down, mutton man! It was all my fault.
Phil: You're already on my list, sister, so don't make it worse
[Pegasus snorts at Meg, she snorts back, turning the light off]
Phil: And as for you, ya bum, you're gonna go to the stadium and you're gonna be put through the workout of your life! Now get on the horse.
Hercules: Okay, okay.
Meg: I'm sorry.
Hercules: Ah, he'll get over it.
[He bends a huge tree casually and picks a flower off it, gives it to Meg and kisses her in the cheek]
Phil: Move! Move, move, move, move, move! Move! [on Pegasus]: Whoo! Ya-eee! Hey, watch it, watch it! Whoo!  Watch it! Keep your goo-goo eyes on the- [A branch finally hits Phil and he falls on the ground] That's it. Next time, I drive.
[Meg sits alone and smells the flower]
Meg: Oh. what's the matter with me? You'd think a girl would learn. [singing] If there's a prize for rotten judgement. I guess I've already won that. No man is worth the aggravation. That's ancient history been there, done that!
Muses: Who d'ya think you're kidding? He's the Earth and Heaven to you. Try to keep it hidden, honey, We can see right through you
Meg: Oh, No
Muses: Girl, you can't conceal it. We know how you feel and who you're thinkin' of?
Meg: Oh-no, no chance, no way, I won't say it, no, no
Muses: You swoon, you sigh, why deny it, uh-oh?
Meg: It's too cliche, I won't say I'm in love
Muses: Shoo-doo, shoo-doo, oo-oo-oo
Meg: I thought my heart had learned its lesson. It feels so good when you start out...
Muses: Ahhh..
Meg: My head is screaming get a grip, girl. Unless you're dyin' to cry your heart, oh
Muses: You keep on denying. Who you are and how you're feelin'. Baby, we're not buyin' hon, We saw you hit the ceilin'. Face it like a grownup. When you gonna own up that you. Got Got Got it bad
Meg: Oh, no chance, no way, I won't say it, no, no
Muses: Give up, but give in, Check the grin, you're in love
Meg: This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love
Muses: You're doing flips, read our lips. You're in love shoo-doo, shoo-doo
Meg: You're way off base, I won't say it (Muses: She won't say in love) Get off my case, I won't say it
Muses: Girl, don't be proud, it's okay, you're in love
Meg: Oh.. At least at loud. I won't say I'm in love...
Muses: Shoo-doo, shoo-doo, shoo-doo, shoo-doo Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la Haaa
Hades: Hey, what's the buzz, huh, Meg? What is the weak link in the Wonderboy's chain?
Meg: Get yourself another girl, I'm through.
Hades: I'm sorry. Do you mind runnin' that by me again? I must have had a chunk of brimstone wedged in my ear or something.
Meg: Then read my lips. Forget it.
Hades: Meg, Meg, Meg, my sweet deluded little minion. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little, tiny detail? I OWN YOU!!
Phil: Oh. I got another horn here...
Hades: [to Meg] YOU WORK FOR ME!
Phil: That kid's gonna be doin' laps for a month.
Hades: If I say, "sing", you say, "hey, name that tune" If I say, "I want Wonderboy's head on a platter" you say—
Meg: Medium or well done.
Phil: Oh! I knew that dame was trouble. This is gonna break the kid's heart.
Meg: I'll work on that.
[Phil runs away]
Hades: I'm sorry... You hear that sound? That's the sound of your freedom fluttering out the window forever.
Meg: I don't care. I'm not gonna help you hurt him.
Hades: I can't believe you're getting so worked up about some guy.
Meg: This one is different. He's honest, and-and he's sweet—
Hades: Please.
Meg: He would never do anything to hurt me.
Hades: He's a guy.
Meg: Besides, oh, oneness, you can't beat him. He has no weaknesses, he's gonna—
Hades: I think he does, Meg. I truly think he does.
[At the stadium, Hercules is doing exercises]
Hercules: Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! Hey, Phil! What happened to you?
Phil: Kid, we gotta talk.
Hercules: Oh, Phil, I just had the greatest day of my life! I-I can't stop thinking about Meg. She's something else.
Phil: Kid, I'm tryin' to talk to ya! Will you come down here and listen?
Hercules: Aw, how can I come down there when I'm feeling so UP!! [jumps up into clouds]
[Meanwhile a Pegasus mare appears and makes Pegasus follow her. In a pen, the mare splits in two parts which turn into Pain and Panic]
Pain: Gotcha!
[back on the stadium]
Phil: Ah, very nice! What I'm trying to say is—
Hercules: That if it wasn't for you, I never would have met her. Oh, I owe ya big time. Little guy, I do.
Phil: Will you just knock it off for a couple of seconds?
Hercules: Rule #38, Come on, Phil, keep them up there, huh? Phil, I got two words for ya: Duck!
Phil: Listen to me! She's—
Hercules: A dream come true?
Phil: Not exactly.
Hercules: More beautiful then Aphrodite?
Phil: Aside from that!
Hercules: The most wonderful—
Phil: SHE'S A FRAUD! She's been playing you for a sap!
Hercules: Oh, come on, stop kidding around.
Phil: I'm NOT kidding around!
Hercules: I know you're upset about today, but that's no reason to-
Phil: Kid, you're missing the point!
Hercules: Point is: I LOVE her.
Phil: She don't love you!
Hercules: You're crazy!
Phil: She's nothing but a two-timin'-
Hercules: STOP IT!
Phil: -no good, LYIN, SCHEMING-
Hercules: [he suddenly turns around and accidentally slaps Phil] SHUT UP! Phil, I… I didn't mean… Oh, I'm-I'm sorry.
Phil: Okay. Okay, that's it. You won't face the truth? Fine.
Hercules: Phil, wait. Where are you going?
Phil: I'm hopping the first barge outta here. I'm going home.
Hercules: FINE! Go! I don't- I don't need you.
Phil: I thought you were going to be the all-time champ. Not the all-time chump.
[Hades appears]
Hades: Geez, Louise. What's got his goat, huh? Baboom. My name's Hades, Lord of the Dead. Hi, how ya doing?
Hercules: Not now, okay.
Hades: Hey, wait, I only need a few seconds, and I'm a fast learner, right? You see, I've had this major deal in the works...a real estate venture, if you will. And Herc, you little devil, you, may I call you Herc? You seem to be constantly getting in the way of things, right?
Hercules: You have the wrong guy.
Hades: COME HERE, YOU LITTLE- heh-heh. Just hear me out, okay? Well, I would be eternally grateful if you would just take a day off from this hero business of yours. Jeez, I mean monsters, natural disasters. Phew. You wait a day?
Hercules: You're out of your mind.
Hades: Not so fast, because, ya see I have this one, a little leverage, you might wanna know about.
Hercules: Meg!
Meg: Don't listen, Herc–
Hercules: Let her go!
Hades: Here's the trade-off. You give up your strength for about 24 hours, alright? Say the next 24 hours and Meg here is free as a bird and safe from harm. We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. Whaddya say? C'mon.
Hercules: People are gonna get hurt, aren't they?
Hades: Nah. I mean, you know, it's a possibility. It happens 'cause, y'know, it's war - but what can I tell ya? Anyway, what do you owe these people, huh? Isn't Meg - little smoochy face - isn't she more important than they are?
Hercules: Stop it!
Hades: Isn't she?!
Hercules: You gonna swear she'll be safe from any harm.
Hades: Fine, okay, I'll give ya that one. Meg is safe, otherwise you get your strength right back, yadda-yadda, fine print, boiler plate, baboom. Alright? We're done. Whaddya say we shake on it? Hey, I really don't have, like, time to bat this around. I'm kind of on a schedule here, I have plans for August, alright? I need a response, like, now. Going once, going twice...
Hercules: Alright.
Hades: Yes, we're there! [they shake hands and Hercules' strength drains from him] You may feel just a little queasy, it's kinda natural. Perhaps you should sit DOWN! Now you know how it feels to be just like everybody else. Isn't it just peachy? Oh! You'll love this - one more thing. Meg... babe. A deal's a deal. You're off the hook. By the way, Herc. Is she not, like, a famous little actress?
Meg: Stop it.
Hercules: What do you mean?
Hades: I mean your little chickie-poo here was working for me all the time. [sticking out his tongue in obviousness] Duh.
Hercules: You're-You're lying!
[Hades motions towards Pain and Panic, who are disguised as the boys again as if to say "Am I? Am I Really?"]
Panic: [as a boy] Help! [Coughs]
Pain: [as another boy] Jeepers, mister, you're really strong!
[They turn back themselves and start laughing at him]
Hades: [to Meg] Couldn't have done it with you, sugar, sweetheart, babe.
Meg: [to Hercules] No, it's not like that! I didn't mean to- I-I couldn't… I-I'm so sorry.
Pain and Panic: [singing while taunting Hercules] Our hero's a zero! Our hero's a zero!
[Meg starts to cry in regret]
Hades: Well, gotta blaze. There's a whole cosmos up there waiting for me with, hey, my name on it. So much for the preliminaries, and now onto the main event!
Hades: Brothers! Titans! Look at you in your squalid prison! Who… put you… down there?!
Titans: ZEUS!
Hades: AND NOW THAT I SET YOU FREE, WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU ARE GOING TO DO?!
Titans: DESTROY HIM!
Hades: Good answer.
Lythos: Crush Zeus!
Hydros: Freeze him!
Pyros: Melt Zeus!
Stratos: Blow him away!
Titans: Zeus!
Hades: Uh, Guys?
Titans: Huh?
Hades: Olympus would be that way.
Lythos: Zeus!
Hydros: Freeze him!
Hades: Hold it, bright eye.
Cyclops: Huh?
Hades: I have a special job for you, my optic friend.
[Olympus. Hermes sees the titans first]
Hermes: Ah. Huh?
Lythos: Destroy Zeus!
Hermes: Oh, we're in trouble! Oh, big trouble! I gotta-- [he zooms to Olympus] My Lord and Lady, the Titans have escaped. And they're practically at our gates!
Zeus: Sound the alarm! Launch an immediate counterattack! Go! Go!
Hermes: Gone, babe.
[Gods prepare to war]
Ares: Charge!
Apollo: On to battle!
Zeus: [throwing lightnings at Lythos in vain] Yee-hah!
Ares: [getting sucked in by Stratos] You windbag!
Hades: [watching this] Boom, badda-boom, boom, boom! Hah!
[Meanwhile, the Cyclops, under Hades's orders, looks for Hercules, causing destruction and mayhem in Thebes]
Cyclops: Hercules! Where are you?
Thin woman: What can we do?
Tall Thebian: Where's Hercules?
Old Man: Yeah, Hercules'll save us.
Cyclops: Hercules! Come out! Face me!
Meg: [to Hercules who starts going] What are you doing? Without your strength, you'll be killed.
Hercules: There are worse things.
Cyclops: Run!
Meg: Wait! stop!
Tall Thebian: Hey, look! It's Hercules.
Lumpy Woman: Thank the gods, we're saved!
Cyclops: So, you mighty Hercules.
[He hits Hercules who flies away and hits a mosaic of himself. Meanwhile Meg finds Pegasus tied up in the stables]
Meg: Easy, horsefeathers. Whoa! Stop twitching, listen. Ah! Hercules is in trouble. We gotta find Phil, he's the only one who can talk some sense into him. [screams]
[Meanwhile on Olympus, battle between Zeus and the Titans goes on]
Zeus: Get back, blast you!
[Lythos smashes the gates of Olympus open]
Hades: Ooh, Chihuahua.
Lythos: Zeus!
[Phil is going to leave Thebes and is walking to a boat]
Sailor: Come on! Hurry up! We're shovin' off here!
Meg: Phil! Phil, Hercules needs your help!
Phil: What does he need me for when he's got friends like you?
Meg: He won't listen to me.
Phil: Good! He's finally learned something.
Meg: Look, I know what I did was wrong, but this isn't about me, it's about him. If you don't help him now, Phil, he'll die.
[Meanwhile on Olympus... and back to Thebes as the Cyclops tosses Hercules and plays with him]
Zeus: I NEED MORE THUNDERBOLTS!
Hermes: Hephaestus has been captured, my Lord. Everyone's been captured. [Pain and Panic get him] I've been captured! Hey, hey! Watch the glasses.
Hades: Zeusy, I'm home.
Zeus: Hades, YOU'RE BEHIND THIS?!
Hades: You are correct, sir!
Cyclops: Flea!
Phil: Hercules!
Hercules: Phil.
Phil: Come on, kid, come on. Fight back. Come on, you can take this bum, This guy's a pushover, look at him.
Hercules: You were right all along, Phil. Dreams are for rookies.
Phil: No, no, no, no, kid, givin' up is for rookies. I came back 'cause I'm not quittin' on ya. I'm willing to go the distance, how 'bout you?
[Cyclops grabs Hercules, laughing in anticipation to finish him off]
Cyclops: Me bite off head!
[Hercules burns the Cyclops' face with a burning stick]
Phil: Whoa, baby!
[after Hercules defeating the Cyclops, Meg sees a pillar falling]
Meg: Hercules, look out! [pushes him out of the way only for her to get crushed beneath it]
Hercules: Meg?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! [he raises the pillar, getting his strength back] What's happening?
Meg: Hades' deal is broken. He promised I wouldn't get hurt.
Hercules: Meg, why… why… why did ya… You didn't have to…
Meg: People always do crazy things when they're in love.
Hercules: Oh, Meg. Meg, I… I…
Meg: Are you always this articulate? You… You haven't got much time. You can still stop Hades.
Phil: I'll watch over her, kid.
Hercules: You're gonna be all right. I promise. [draws his sword and mounts on Pegasus who flies to Olympus at top-speed] Let's go, Pegasus!
[Olympus:  Gods in chains]
Pain: Hup, two, three, four, come on, everybody! I can't hear you!
Hermes: Oh, oh!
Zeus: [being frozen from one side and burnt from another] I swear to you, Hades, when I get out of this--
[He is finally buried under molten rock]
Hades: I'm the one giving orders now, bolt boy. And I think I'm gonna like it here.
Hercules: Don't get too comfortable, Hades!
Apollo: Hercules!
Hercules: This oughta even the odds! [He breaks the chain by which the gods were chained]
Hermes: [Hitting Pain and Panic] Yeah, Hercules! Thank you, man!
Hades: Get them!
[Pyros misses Hercules and covers Hades in molten lava]
Hades: Whoa! Hey! No! Get him, not me! Him! Follow the fingers! Him! [Ice storm from Hydros who was trying to hit Hercules freezes Hades] The yutz with the horse! [Hercules opens the stone block and releases Zeus]
Zeus: Thank you, my boy.
[Meanwhile Pegasus chases Pain and Panic]
Pain: Nice horsey! My intentions were pure! I really was attracted to you.
Hepheastus: Throw!
Zeus: [He catches two bolts of lightning.] Hah! Now watch your old man work!
Lythos: Uh-oh.
[Lightnings explode heads of Lythos, other Titans leave]
Hades: Guys, get your titanic rears in gears and kick some Olympian butt! [Pegasus blows at Hades' head and blue fire which was his head is out.] Whoa is my hair out?
[Hercules meanwhile catches Stratos and sucks into him Lythos, Hydros, and Pyros. He launches them into the sky where they all explode.]
Zeus: [high-fiving Hercules] Hah!
Hercules: Whoo-hoo!
Hades: [leaving] Thanks a ton, Wonderboy. But at least, I've got one swell consolation prize -- a friend of yours who's dying to see me.
Hercules: Meg!
[Atropos cuts the thread of life and Megara is dead]
Hercules [arrives to her] Meg. Meg, no.
Phil: Oh, I'm sorry, kid. There's some things you just can't change.
Hercules: [lifting his eyes, with a determined glare] Yes, I can.
[Down in the Underworld, Hades throws a tantrum over the failure on Olympus. Pain and Panic dodge a blast of fire burning the map table, as the room is now in shreds]
Hades: [ranting angrily with his head goes fiery red] WE WERE SO CLOSE! So close. We tripped at the finish line. Why? Because our little nut, Meg has to go all noble.
Hercules: Where's Meg?
Hades: Oh, look who's here. Wonderboy, you are too much.
Hercules: Let her go.
Hades: Get a grip. Come here, come here. Let me show you around. Hmph. Well, well. It's a small underworld after all, huh?
Hercules: Meg. [His hands turn old as he touches the water. When he draws them out, they turn back to normal]
Hades: No, no, no. Mustn't touch. You see, Meg's running with a new crowd these days. And not a very lively one, at that.
Hercules: You like making deals. Take me in Meg's place.
Hades: The son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death.
Hercules: Going once.
Hades: Is there a downside to this?
Hercules: Going twice.
Hades: Okay, okay, okay, okay. You get her out- she goes, you stay. [Hercules jumps into the river of death] You know what slipped my mind? You'll be dead before you can get to her. That's not a problem, is it?
[Hercules keeps swimming in the river, growing older and older. The Fates hold up his thread of life, and Atropos goes to cut the thread of life, but it suddenly shines, and the scissors can't cut it turning Gold.]
Lachesis: What's the matter with these scissors?
Clotho: The thread won't cut.
[At the same time, Hercules floats out from the river with Meg's soul and climbs up the cliff, holding Meg's soul in his arms, as he shines brightly]
Hades: This… this is impossible. You can't be alive, you'd have to be a…
Pain and Panic: A god?
[Hercules brightly glows as he must have conquered Death, the Underworld's river and Fate itself, regained his godhood by sacrificing himself to save the woman he loves. Hades suffers an anguishing breakdown as he pulls his flaming hair as if he couldn't believe it himself]
Hades: Hercules, stop! You can’t do this to me! You can’t- [Hercules hits him in the face] Fine. Okay. Listen. Ha! Okay. Well, I deserved that. Herc, Herc, Herc. Can we talk? You're dad; he's the fun guy, right? So maybe you could put in a word with him, and he'd kinda... blow this whole thing off, you know? Meg. Meg, talk to him. Have a little smoochze, and... [Hercules punches him into the river of death] GAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHH! [souls go to grab him] Get away from me! Don't touch me! Get your slimy souls off me!
Panic: He's not gonna be happy when he gets outta there!
Pain: You mean, if he gets outta there!
Hades: Taxi! TAXI!!!
Panic: If. If is good.
Hades: [latest words before his disappeared, as the souls pull him down into the abyss] I don't feel so good! I—I'm feeling a little... FLUUUUUUUUUUSHED!
[At outside, Hercules brings the soul of Meg and puts it inside her body]
Meg: Wonderboy, what-- why did you—
Hercules: Huh. People always do crazy things when they are in love.
[they go for a kiss, but suddenly a cloud appears under their feet, sent by Zeus, and they fly to Olympus]
Phil: Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! Whoo! [Pegasus picks him up and brings along]
[The crowd of gods welcome Hercules]
Apollo: Three cheers for the mighty Hercules!
Hermes: Oh, yeah! Flowers for everybody! Oh!
Hera: Hercules, we're so proud of you.
Hercules: Mother.
Zeus: Hah! Fine work, my boy! You've done it! You're a true hero.
Hera: You were willing to give your life to rescue this young woman.
Zeus: For a true hero isn't measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart. Now, at last, my son, you can come home.
Meg: Congratulations, Wonderboy. You'll make one heck of a god.
Hercules: Father, this is the moment I've always dreamed of. But... a life without Meg, even an immortal life, would be... empty. I wish to stay on Earth with her. I finally know where I belong.
[Zeus nods, they finally kiss and Hercules stops shining]
Hermes: Hit it, ladies!
[begin Song: A Star Is Born]
Muses: Oh, gonna shout it from the mountaintops A star is born! It's the time for pulling out the stops A star is born! Honey, hit us with a hallelu That kid came shining through Girl, sing the song Come blow your horn A star is born! He's a hero who can please the crowd A star is born! Come on, everybody shout out loud A star is born! Just remember in the darkest hour, Within your heart's the power For makin' you A hero too
[Here the Constellation of Hercules appears]
Muses: So don't lose hope When you're forlorn
[Phil sees the Strong Man pointing at it]
Tall Thebian: That's Phil's boy!
Muses: Just keep your eyes Upon the skies Every night, A star is right in sight, A star is burning bright, A star is born A star is born
[Closing Titles start, song continues]
Muses: Like a beacon in the cold dark night / A star is born! / Told ya everything would turn out right / A star is born! / Just when everything was all at sea / The boy made history / The bottom line Bottom line! / He sure can shine He can shine! / His rising sign is Capricorn / He knew how to / He had a clue Telling you / A star is born!
Male Chorus: Here's a hero who can please the crowd
Muses: A star is born!
Male Chorus: Come on, everybody shout out loud
Muses: A star is born! / Just remember in your darkest hour / Within your heart's the power / For making you / A hero too / (A hero too) / So don't lose hope / When you're forlorn / (No, no!) / Just keep your eyes / Upon the skies / Every night, A star is right in sight, A star is burning bright, A star is born!

MICHAEL BOLTON lyrics (Go the Distance)

[edit]

''I have often dreamed, of a far-off place, where a hero's welcome will be waiting for me. Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face, and a voice keeps saying "This is where I'm meant to be...!" I'll be there someday, I can go the distance, I will find my way, If I can be strong. I know every mile, will be worth my while. When I go the distance, I'll be right where I...belong.'' ''Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate. Though the road may wander, it will lead me to you. And a thousand years would be worth the wait. It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through.'' ''And I won't look back, I can go the distance. And I'll stay on track. No, I won't accept defeat. It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope. Till I go the distance and my journey is...complete. Oh, Yeah! But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part, for a hero's strength is measured by his heart... Like a shooting star, I will go the distance. I will search the world, I will face its harms. I don't care how far, I can go the distance. 'Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in... Your arms. ''I will search the world, I will face its harms... 'Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in... ''Your arms. [song fades]

Taglines

[edit]
  • A Comedy of Epic Proportions
  • Happy IV of July!
  • Zero to Hero!
  • Who puts the GLAD in GLADIATOR?
  • You can run but you can't Hydra!

Cast

[edit]
[edit]
Wikipedia
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