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Home on the Range (2004 film)

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Home on the Range is a 170 minutes 2004 animated film from Walt Disney Pictures about three dairy cows in the American west of Wyoming who must capture an infamous cattle rustler named Alameda Slim for his bounty in order to save their idyllic farm from foreclosure. Aiding them in their quest is Lucky Jack, a feisty, peg-legged Jackrabbit, but a selfish chestnut mustang stallion named Buck, eagerly working in the service of Rico, a famous bounty hunter, seeks the glory for himself.

Directed by Will Finn and John Sanford. Written by Will Finn and John Sanford.
Bust a Moo.

Buck

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  • [from trailer] Let's not put the cows before the horse.

Junior

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  • Cows only.

Dialogue

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[The cows look at Maggie's old home filled with trophies]
Grace: What's going to happen to the cow who lived there?
Maggie: She'll be okay.
Grace: How do you know?
Maggie: You're looking at her.
Grace: This was your farm?
Maggie: Mm-hmm. We had like a family too, you know.
Grace: What happened?
Maggie: Alameda Slim happened...
[The cowboys are attacked by the Willie Brothers]
Mrs. Calloway: What was that?
Grace: That must be Slim and the Willies.
Barry, Bob, and Herd of Bulls: [freaking out] Slim and the Willies!
Barry: [to Mrs. Calloway, mistaking her for Grace] Don't worry, darling. I'll protect you.
Mrs. Calloway: You have exactly two seconds to remove your hoof... before I snap it off at the knee.
Barry: Sorry, madam. I thought you were the blonde...
[She whacks him, sending him to the ground]
[Alameda Slim arrives]
Maggie: It's payback time. Cover me!
Grace: With what?
The Willie Brothers: Howdy, Slim.
Alameda Slim: Quiet, you fools. We've got work to do. [sings "Yodel-Adle-Eedle-Idle-Odel" alongside the Willie Brothers] Here we go, boys! 5,000 cattle in the side pocket! [yodels "William Tell Overture", "Yankee Doodle" and "Beethoven's Ode to Joy" and continues to sings]
Grace: Maggie, Mrs. Calloway, snap out of it! [Alameda Slim cackles as the girls scream]
Rico: Oh! [grunts and girls screams]
Man: Rico, if you'd just been a second earlier...
Alameda Slim: [laughing] 5,000 Texas Longhorns. Not bad for one night's work.
Phil: Pick a color. [He and Bill are playing with a cootie catcher]
Alameda Slim: I said, not bad for one night's work. [Phil and Bill pay attention to Alameda Slim and clap] Thank you. And judging by the ear mark, I'd say these are the last of Big Mike Donald's herd.
Gil: Big Mike Donald had a farm?
Phil and Bill: E-I-E-I... [Alameda Slim bashes them on the heads with his fists] Ohh...
Alameda Slim: That's right. He had a farm. [He goes to his dressing screen stock and puts on his Yancy O'Del disguise] Now that all his cash cows have disappeared, that poor sap's gonna be flat broke. Perfect time for a certain upstanding land owner to step in and take all the land.
Phil: [screams] Ahhh! Who are you?!
Bill: What did you do with Uncle Slim?!
Phil: Put up your dukes, Mr. Fancy Britches! [Alameda Slim grabs his fingers] Aah-aah-aah-aah-aah-aah!
Alameda Slim: It's me! Hello! [Alameda Slim takes off the glasses and the blue top hat and holding a cane] This here is the disguise I use to sneak into all them auctions and buy all the land, you brainless monotone monkeys.
Gil: Shoot, you got to be the richest land baron in the the west. [Phil and Bill clap]
Alameda Slim: Yes, but the part that really warms my heart is watching those homesteaders suffer. [He grabs a branding iron and brands Mike Donald's Farm and the Dixon Farm on the map] Back in the day, I worked the highfalutinest ranches you ever seen, but those stuck-up ranch bosses couldn't appreciate my talents.
Phil: Maybe they just didn't like your singing.
Alameda Slim: My singing?! [Bill covers his brother's mouth] Songbirds sing. saloon gals sing. little bitty snot-nosed children sing. I yodel, and yodeling IS AN ART!
Bill: Well, maybe they just didn't like your yodeling.
[Phil covers his brother's mouth and Alameda Slim tries to hit them with his branding iron, but misses them when they duck]
Gil: He didn't mean it, Uncle Slim. Everybody likes yodeling.
Alameda Slim: Hmm?
Gil: Why, it's one of the funniest, cornball, goofy, silly sounds in the whole west.
[Alameda Slim tries to hit Gil with his branding iron, but misses as Gil ducks, then Alameda Slim sees Patch of Heaven on the map as it's unauctioned as he twitches]
Alameda Slim: Uh, Gil?
Gil: Uh-huh?
Alameda Slim: Am I correct in assuming that each and every time we brought a herd back to this secret lair you've managed to sit in the exact same spot, BLOCKING THAT CHOICE-PIECE OF PROPERTY FROM MY VIEW?!
Gil: This is my comfy place. [beat] What? [Alameda Slim grabs him by the neck; Gil makes unintelligible noises]
Phil: It's called Patch of Heaven, Uncle Slim. Goes on auction Thursday morning.
Alameda Slim: [his fury quickly replaced by eagerness] Perfect. [He hits Gil on the head with his branding iron and lets him go] Pencil it in. Thursday morning. Right after we sell off this herd.
Bill: But it's just a little old dirt farm.
Alameda Slim: Ah, what's the difference? When you're talking my revenge, every last acre... counts. [He brands Patch of Heaven on the map with his branding iron]
[Mrs. Calloway saves Maggie from drowning during the flash flood and drags her to a nearby rock on the shore]
Maggie: No. Come on, girls. We can't give up.
Mrs. Calloway Maggie, that's enough. The minute this lets up, we're heading straight home to Patch of Heaven.
Maggie: But what about catching Alameda Slim and collecting the reward?
Mrs. Calloway: We never had a prayer of catching Alameda Slim in the first place. This whole ridiculous plan is just so that you can get revenge on those cattle rustlers!
Maggie: Hey! For your information, duchess, this whole ridiculous plan is about us saving our farm!
Mrs. Calloway: Huh. Our farm might've had a fighting chance until you came along.
Maggie: What's that supposed to mean?!
Mrs. Calloway: Strutting around with your vulgar show-cow behavior.
Maggie: Look, I was just having...
Mrs. Calloway: Wasting our time on your foolish plans. Through the years, Patch of Heaven has survived every hardship that nature can dish out, but you, Maggie, are the biggest catastrophe to ever hit our farm.
Maggie: [furious] Well. If that's the way you feel about it, maybe we should just go our separate ways.
Mrs. Calloway: Now, that's the first good idea you've ever had.
Maggie: Fine.
Mrs. Calloway: Fine!
Maggie: FINE!
Mrs. Calloway: Fine. [Sits down as Grace looks sadly at the 2 of them and Maggie hangs her head]
Maggie: Yeah. Fine. It's not like your farm was ever going to feel like home to me anyways.
Sam: Alameda Slim, you're under arrest. [lashes the ropes to Alameda Slim who was muffled by the bell]
Grace: Nobody messes with Pearl's, girls.
Buck: Say, girls, got milk?
Girls: Buck.
Buck: Just kidding. [Alameda Slim has been put into a paggy wagon with his mouth gagged and body wraps in a ropes]
Sam: [to his deputies] Take him away, boys. I hope you like stripes. [to Pearl showing Alameda Slim's bounty reward money] Pearl, your cows can't do much with Alameda Slim's reward money. Think you can find some use for it?
Pearl Gesner: Woowie! My farm is saved! [hugs Mrs. Calloway and Grace and the other auctioneers cheer them]

Cast

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Additional Voices

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Wikipedia
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