House on Haunted Hill (1999 film)
House on Haunted Hill is a 1999 American horror film about a group of guests invited to a party in a mysterious house which has a dark past. The film is a remake of the 1959 film of the same name.
- Directed by William Malone. Written by Robb White (story) & Dick Beebe.
Steven H. Price
[edit]- Let's go down and greet your guests. Show them the real you: corny as Kansas on the fourth of July.
- Sure is a funky old house, ain't it?
- [Discussing Evelyn's birthday party plans over the phone] Congratulations. On a scale of one to ten on the perversity meter you just hit a seventy three.
- Ever see one that starts at the top? 20 stories worth of top.
Eddie Baker
[edit]- Me and you all three. Woowho, lets boogie.
- What good is a million dollars when you're dead?
Watson Pritchett
[edit]- [to Eddie] Price didn't make the list, the house did... Cause she's a vengeful stupid whore! [kicks the machinery]
- [walks slowly up to Sarah] You don't... get it... do you? This house is pissed. It has no morals, cuz it's a fucking house!
- The house doesn't care what's fair, who lives or dies. Know why? Cause it's a fucking house!
- Sorry to interrupt. God dammit, you give me my god damn check right now! 'Cuz I want it! So you give it! Now! I'm serious.
Peter Graves
[edit]- Dr. Richard Benjamin Vannacutt. He out-butchered Bundy, made Manson look meek.
Dialogue
[edit]- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Get off me, you pervert!
- Steven H. Price: Congratulations. I don't think Evelyn's said that to anything with testicles, ever.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Very funny, Stephen. Have you?
- [After Price receives a call from Evelyn.]
- Channel 3 Reporter: So Mr. Price, business or pleasure?
- Steven H. Price: Neither. My wife.
- Sara/Jennifer: So what, we're stuck here forever?
- Watson Pritchett: I think a cleaner is supposed to come at 9:30 in the morning. (Blackburn pours a bottle of medicine on his hands) JESUS!
- Eddie Baker: Oh, so then we'll just stay here 'til morning.
- Watson Pritchett: [sarcastic] Oh, great. I'm sure we'll all be mutilated beyond recognition by then. (Drinks Burbon Bottle)
- Sara/Jennifer: What do I feel like this is some sick joke just to scare us out of our wits and with a Hella lot of money?
(Evelyn appears with a drink in her hand)
- Evelyn: You got that right! (To Steven) Take a bow, you sick fuck! You've out done yourself tonight. You've scared the shit out of even me.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: I gave you a goddamn guest list two pages long. Where the hell are they?
- Steven H. Price: Shredded. Sorry. Decided to whip up one of my own - a group so hungry for money they'd do anything. I thought you'd be more comfortable with your peers.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Well, lookie! Looks like the games have already begun.
- Eddie Baker: Where is he? WHERE'S PRICE?!
- Donald W. Blackburn M.D.': What happened? Are you alright?
- Sara Wolfe: No! But I am so fucking far from alright and it's not even funny! Someone or something just tried to drown me in a tank of blood with the size of a buick!
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Uh, let me give you a little hint. His initials are S.P.
- Steven Price: (Heard what Evelyn was talking about and sat up from the couch as Pritchett walks past him) Alright! S.P: As in sorry, Petunia. Because I was with Pritchett this whole time.
- Eddie Baker: [to Price.] Look at this! Huh? What is this?
- Watson Pritchett: [turns around] That? What just happened to you there... that's nothing. You've just been playing around with a ghost. Wait til somebody lets out the Darkness in this place. That's a whole... that's a whole new bunch of crazy shit. That's... you'll hate that shit.
- Sara Wolfe: What is this darkness?
- Watson Pritchett: It! The Thing! The Evil! The rotten core of the bottom of that place! The thing that's gonna kill us all! Death by Corroison: That thing!
(Returns to his drinking)
- Donald W. Blackburn M.D.: So, either we spend the night and collect our money, or we try and find a way out of here.
- Steven Price': Either way, I think we should all stick together. (To Evelyn) But maybe that's not gonna fill in with your plans, baby!
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: (Smiles) You know me, the more the merrier. I guess somebody better find this game show hostess.
- Steven Price': Where is she?
- [Hearing Melissa's screams from another part of the house]
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Guess old Melissa found what she was looking for.
- Eddie Baker: There's gotta be a way out of here! Someway! (Looks at Pritchett) Pritchett!
- Watson Pritchett: What?
- Eddie Baker: (Smacks bottle away from Pritchett's hands and the bottle was dropped accidentally smashed on the floor) I'M TALKING TO YOU!
- Donald W. Blackburn: Control yourself!
- Watson Pritchett: Easy, that wasn't nice!
- Sara Wolfe: (Studies Melissa's camera and looks at the men) Hey! If everybody's gotta scream at each other, could you do it in the next room, please.
- Eddie Baker: (Points finger at Pritchett) Watch it!
- Sara Wolfe: I'm trying to figure out who or what Melissa was taping when she disappeared.
- Eddie Baker: Right, then where will we be?
- Watson Pritchett: Out of Scotch, thanks to you, Ass!
(Eddie ignores him)
- Sara Wolfe: Hey, I think I got something!
(Sara plays camera when the screen shows Melissa being devoured. Eddie, Blackburn and Steven Price gathered round the table and were horrified at what they seen. Then, the entity drags Melissa away as her screams have been heard ending the tape.) (Evelyn appears clapping her hands)
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Bravo! Bravo! I know it's not too kind to ask the magician how he did it. Clever minds are too desperate to know. Just what did happen to little Miss Marr?
(Steven Price looked at Sara, Blackburn and Eddie who didn't respond)
- Steven Price: (Turns to face his wife) Asking the wrong guy.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: I mean did she staged it all for you and then go hide? Or did you just flat out and kill the little bitch?!
- Steven Price: I propose you the same question.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Who's next on your list?
- 'Steven Price: If I have one, Evelyn. Whom do you think?
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Oh for God's sake! We all know that knocking me off is the bottom line here. (Pulls gun out) And now I'm not gonna make it easier for you.
(She points the gun on Steven who instead smiled)
- Steven Price: If you think that's gonna do the trick? Do you, Tulip! I will never give you a loaded gun!
(Evelyn fires her gun but misses Steven as it hit the cups while Sara and Blackburn took cover)
- Steven Price: Jesus!
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: (Mockingly) Funky old house, ain't it?
(Blows the top of her gun and turns to face her guests)
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Friends, your hostess is now going to retire for what's left of the night. If you need me, I'll be upstairs in my bedroom. Not if much as anyone as peeps in the keyhole, I'm gonna empty this thing into their fucking head!
(Evelyn walks away while Steven Price looks at Sara, Blackburn and Eddie who were curious about Steven and Evelyn's issues)
- Steven Price: Oh, come on! I loaded them with blanks. Even if I were gonna... murder my wife, I would rather do it in a abandoned house.
- Eddie Baker: (Eddie remembered what Sara had mentioned) Here! Take this!
(Tosses the gun at Sara who catches it)
- Eddie Baker: What good is a million dollars when you're dead?
- Sara Wolfe: Okay, Let's find a way out of here!
- Eddie Baker: Right!
- Donald W. Blackburn M.D.: I'm gonna try and find Miss Marr.
(Steven then looks at Pritchett)
- Watson Pritchett: And I better find me something to drink.
- [After Evelyn caught Price when he attempts to leave]
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: And where are you off to, Mr. Price? Checking the wiring on the animatronic mummies?
- Steven H. Price: I'm just gonna go take a leak, if it's okay with you.
- [Steven Price surprises Eddie, Sara, and Pritchett. Eddie almost shoots Price with his gun]
- Eddie Baker: That's a good way to get your head blown off, man!
- Steven H. Price: I'll recommend it to Evelyn.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Stephen, if you really love me, you'll find a way to drop dead in the next second.
- Steven H. Price: Oh but baby, finding ways for me to die is really your thing. Let's not forget the O.J. knife with the not-so-retractable blade, the Jim Jones Kool-Aid which was exactly that.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Accidents, all accidents until proven otherwise.
- Steven H. Price: Come on honey, let's go down and meet your guests.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: You go ahead darling, I'm just going to run scolding. Hot water over the places you just touched me.
- Watson Pritchett: Jesus, she's dead. She was cute too. God, I'd love to get laid before I die.
- [Pritchett looks at Evelyn.]
- Watson Pritchett: How you doin' tonight?
- [Evelyn glares at him.]
- Watson Pritchett: Yeah, I'm alright.
- [Pritchett goes back to heavy drinking]
- Eddie Baker: That was the most fun I've had all day.
- Sara Wolfe: You need to get out more.
- Sara Wolfe: Is this house really haunted?
- Watson Pritchett: [near hysterical] It's uh, well, bleh... hah... yeah, it's pretty scary.
- Sara Wolfe: Oh my god! I think how the guest list was made! Look at these names! Head Nurse: Ruth Ann Stockard! Electroshock: Adolphus Jenzen! Franklin Baker! Thomas Stevens Price! Jasper Marr! They're all here!
- Eddie Baker: Who's all here? I'm missing someone.
- Sara Wolfe: Everyone who was invited! They were related to the five of the staff members when the place was burned! There was five of us.
- Watson Pritchett: The five that didn't die?
- [Prichett appears behind Sarah and Eddie after they find a dead body]
- Eddie Baker: Holy shit!
- Watson Pritchett: Booga booga.
- Sara Wolfe: Are you saying?"
- Watson Pritchett: Price didn't make the list, the house did! Because she's a vengeful stupid whore!
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Who invited them?
- Steven H. Price: I don't know, it wasn't me and you say it wasn't you, who then, Evelyn? Ghosts?
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Ooh, spooky.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: You ever find out what happened to that little TV reporter?
- Donald W. Blackburn, M.D.: No. They never found her
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: So we don't even know if the little bitch is dead or alive?
- Donald W. Blackburn, M.D.: But I think Price must have killed her. There's no other explanation.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: There's plenty, you moron. For all we know, Steven's got her spying on us right now.
- Donald W. Blackburn, M.D.: Oh, bullshit.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Oh, God. This whole fucking thing's falling apart.
- Donald W. Blackburn, M.D.: It's not baby, it's not. Somebody's gonna pull the trigger
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: But nobody has yet, Donald. There not at the breaking point. The bozos have to believe that their lives are in danger
- Donald W. Blackburn, M.D.: They have your death at his hands. How much more do they need?
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: But they didn't see it happen. They still have their doubts their confused. What we need is another body. Steven's bloody hands right next to him.
- Donald W. Blackburn, M.D.: Well how the hell are we gonna do that?
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: [laughs] This may sound a little crazy but hear me out.
- [Evelyn brutally stabs Donald]
- Eddie Baker: What happened?
- Watson Pritchett: Lockdown.
- Sara/Jennifer: What is that?
- Watson Pritchett: A machine from an old asylum. It seals everything shut. That's how they burned to death in 31. Dr. Vanacutt threw the switch! If he was gonna die, they're all gonna die!
(They didn't believe him)
- Melissa Margarett Marr: Well no wonder they're still pissed off.
(She giggled while they all stared at her)
- Donald W. Blackburn: Let's go into the other room and I'll take care of your hands.
- Watson Pritchett: The only five of the insane are Vanacutt's staff.
- Donald W. Blackburn: Why isn't that machine disabled?
- Watson Pritchett: It was on my dad's things to do list here. But the house did it first.
- Eddie Baker: Wait, you said that was an accident.
- Watson Pritchett: I lied. The house is alive. We're all gonna die.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Oh Steven you poor clueless old geek, all it would have taken was a simple divorce and ripping our prenup into tiny itsy bitsy little pieces, but no matter how it ended please just know one thing, from the first moment I laid eyes on you I have always, always loved... your money. On the other hand just the sight of you has made me want to puke.
- [Steven wakes up and grabs Evelyn by the throat.]
- Steven H. Price: Is that a fact princess? I mean you could have saved us all a great deal of time not to mention money if you'd have just let me in on it years ago.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: How?
- Steven H. Price: You must be kidding me, I'm Steven goddamn Price.
- [Steven chokes her.]
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: [trying to talk] Sweetie?
- Steven H. Price: Anything angel just speak it.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: What are you going to do?
- Steven H. Price: Just what you wanted everyone here to believe in the first place, I'm gonna murder you, Evelyn, with the greatest of pleasure.
- Evelyn Stockard-Price: Witnesses.
- Steven H. Price: [grabbing her by her hair and pulling her up off the floor] You're already dead, Evelyn.
- [Steven kisses her.]
- Steven H. Price: Happy birthday baby!
- [Steven throws her to a decayed door.]
- Eddie Baker: [Eddie and Sara are atop a tall tower] That was one kickass party!
- Sara Wolfe: Okay but one more thing, How do we get down from here?
- [Eddie and Sara laugh at their amusing predicament.]
Taglines
[edit]- Six strangers have the chance to make $1,000,000 each. All they have to do is make it through the night alive.
- Evil Loves To Party.
- If you're in, you may not want to get out
- It's going to be a long night.
- Are You Dying To Be Rich?
Cast
[edit]- Geoffrey Rush - Stephen H. Price
- Famke Janssen - Evelyn Stockard-Price
- Taye Diggs - Eddie Baker
- Peter Gallagher - Donald W. Blackburn M.D.
- Chris Kattan - Watson Pritchett
- Ali Larter - Sara Wolfe
- Bridgette Wilson - Melissa Margaret Marr
- Max Perlich - Carl Schecter
- Jeffrey Combs - Dr. Richard Benjamin Vannacutt
- Lisa Loeb - Channel 3 reporter
- James Marsters - Channel 3 cameraman
External links
[edit]- House on Haunted Hill quotes at the Internet Movie Database
- House on Haunted Hill at Rotten Tomatoes
- The official House on Haunted Hill site