[Having slept with Joe's wife, Hud blames it on Lonnie - who has just come to collect Hud. Joe is ready to murder Lonnie on the spot, but Hud prevents him from doing so] Lay off him, he's diabetic; don't worry, I'll cool his temperature but good. [to Lonnie, as they're driving away] Relax, Fantan; you'll be able to charge a stud fee for yourself, after that story gets around town.
If you don't look out for yourself, the only helping hand you'll ever get is when they lower your pine box.
It happens to everybody - Nobody gets out of life alive.
You know something Fantan? This world is so full of crap, a man's gonna get into it sooner or later whether he's careful or not.
It don't take long to kill things, not like it takes to grow.
You don't care about people Hud, you don't give a damn about 'em. Oh, you got all that charm goin' for ya, and it makes the youngsters want to be like ya. That's the shame of it 'cause you don't value nothin', you don't respect nothin'. You keep no check on your appetites at all. You live just for yourself. And that makes you not fit to live with.
Little by little the look of the country changes because of the men we admire. You're just going to have to make up your own mind one day about what's right and wrong.
Homer Bannon: That's your solution for getting out of a tight fix? To pass bad beef on to my neighbors who wouldn't know what they was getting? Or risk starting an epidemic in the entire country?
Hud Bannon: This country is run on epidemics; where you been? Price-fixing, crooked TV shows, inflated expense accounts...How many honest men you know? Why, if you separate the saints from the sinners, you're lucky to wind up with Abraham Lincoln. Now I want out of this spread what I put into it, so let's dip our bread into that gravy while it's still hot!
Homer Bannon: You're an unprincipled man, Hud.
Hud Bannon: Don't let that worry you none. You got enough for both of us.
Lonnie Bannon: I wouldn't mind driving her the long way home.
Hud Bannon: You ought to take a crack at that. Get all the good you can out of seventeen 'cause it sure wears out in one hell of a hurry.
Hud Bannon: ...Where's my Jack Daniels?
Alma Brown: I'd say you already drank it.
[Hud nuzzles one side of her neck from behind]
Alma Brown: I don't like sudden passes.
Hud Bannon: Well, there's another coming up on your right.
[He nuzzles the other side of her neck]
Alma Brown: Don't you ever ask?
Hud Bannon: The only question I ever ask any woman is, "What time is your husband coming home?" Now come on, let's get our shoelaces untied.
Alma Brown: I've been asked with more finesse in my day.
[Hud backs off at last]
Hud Bannon: I wouldn't want to come off crude. Want some perfume?
Alma Brown: Sure; how about some colored beads and wampum, while you're at it?
Hud Bannon: Whatever I need to make you trade.
Alma Brown: Thanks, but I've done my time with one cold-blooded bastard; I'm not looking for another.
Hud Bannon: It's too late, honey. You've already found him.
[Hud has just parked his car in Alma's flower bed...again]
Alma Brown: Why do you ALWAYS park that thing in my flowers!?
Hud Bannon: Because you keep planting them where I park, that's why.
Alma Brown: You and your car smell like Chanel #5. You weren't riding the range this afternoon, were you?
Hud Bannon: I sure wasn't.
Alma Brown: How does Truman Peters's wife make time for you, in the middle of the day?
Hud Bannon: She just drops everything for me, honey.
Alma Brown: I guess it beats housework, doesn't it?
[Hud sits with Alma on her bed]
Hud Bannon: You're a fine housekeeper, a fine cook, and a fine laundress. What else are you good at?
Alma Brown: Taking care of myself.
Hud Bannon: A piece of corn-silk like you shouldn't need to.
Alma Brown: That's what my first husband used to tell me. Then he took my wallet and my gasoline card, left me stranded at a hotel in downtown Albuquerque.
Hud Bannon: What did you do, wear your curlers to bed? Is that why he made for the hills?
Alma Brown: He was a gambler. He's probably up at Vegas right now, dealing all night and losing it back in the daytime.
Hud Bannon: Man like that sounds no better than a heel.
Alma Brown: Aren't you all?
Hud Bannon: Honey, don't go shooting all the dogs just because one of them's got fleas.
Alma Brown: I was married to Ed for six years. Only thing he was ever good for was scratching my back where I couldn't reach it.
Hud Bannon: You still got that itch?
Alma Brown: Off and on.
Hud Bannon: Well, let me know when it gets to bothering you.
Hud Bannon: Give me a clean white shirt.
Alma Brown: Boy, you're real big with the "please" and "thank you," aren't you?
Hud Bannon: Please get up off your lazy butt and get me a clean white shirt. Thank you.
[Hud has grabbed a rifle and shot at the buzzards]
Homer Bannon: Don't do that, Hud; they help keep the country clean. Besides, it's against the law.
Hud Bannon: Well, I've always thought the law was meant to be interpreted in a lenient manner. Sometimes I lean one way and sometimes I lean the other.