It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie
It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie is a 2002 Christmas television movie featuring the Muppets.
Dialogue
[edit]- Daniel: [after having saved Kermit from freezing to death] You're alive! Now I can save you!
- Kermit: [annoyed] Yeah, well, have you been planting items about us in the gossip papers again?
- Daniel: [angry] I told you not to make you think a thing like that! I'm so angry!
- Kermit: [sternly] Look! I know you are upset about what happened, and I know you're bother. Nobody can save me.
- Daniel: I think I can. You see, my name is Daniel. And I've been sent from above in the name of justice, to right or wrong, and help you get the theater back.
- Kermit: You? You look some kind of ice cream man from Hello, Dolly.
- Daniel: Well, normally, I'm an accountant.
- Kermit: Well, normally, I'd like to sit and listen to this, but, uh... I got other things was a cover story about us being secretly married
- Daniel: No, you don't understand. I know that Bitterman changed the contract.
- Kermit: How do you know that? Oh, wait a second, you don't run one of those Muppet Internet fansites, do you?
- Daniel: No, no, no, I'm a friend, and I'm here to help. I'm sure if we put our heads together, we could come up with a plan.
- Kermit: Sure. Whatever.
- Daniel: What would the Boss do? Hey! We'll call the press. Alert the media! Start a frenzy!
- Kermit: No way, pal. Bitterman owns the paper, she owns the TV stations, and three quarters of the Internet.
- Daniel: How could one person own so much?
- Kermit: Corporate synergy. It's outta control. [shows him the NBC logo on his flipper] I want you to leave now and that is an order!!! Please!!!
- Daniel: Actually, I'm not allowed to. Besides, you should not be alone right now. You're not yourself.
- Kermit: Yeah, yeah, yeah, remember what you did if ya start yelling at me!
- Daniel: Kermit the Frog would not walk out on his friends on Christmas Eve.
- Kermit: [snaps angrily] THAT'S A BALD-FACED LIE, DANIEL!!!!! I'll tell you what I know! My friends contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void IF - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy! [lividly] - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera... "Fax mentis, incendium gloria cultum," et cetera, et cetera... "Memo bis punitor delicatum!" It's ALL there!! BLACK and white, clear as CRYSTAL!! You STOLE Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You BUMPED into the ceiling, which now has to be WASHED and STERILIZED without me, that's what you get... NOTHING!!! YOU LOSE!!!!! GOOD NIGHT, SIR!!!!!!!
- Daniel: [furiously] You, just a show-off, you jerk! You're a CHEAT and a SWINDLER...! THAT'S what you are!! How can you DO a thing like this?! BUILD up a little boy's hopes, and then SMASH all his dreams to pieces?! [lividly] YOU'RE AN INHUMAN MONSTER!!!!
- Kermit: [continues yelling at Daniel, who keeps making very angry to him] I SAID "GOOD NIGHT"!!! I WILL NOT STAND AROUND WHILE YOU DO DUMB THINGS LIKE THAT, DANIEL!!! In fact, I've ruined their lives, and I wish I'd never been born!!!
- Daniel: [aghast, angriest, freaking out, yelling and aggressive] YOU ARE FIRED! YOU ARE FIRED IF YOU'RE NOT GOING OUT THERE WITHOUT BACKUP, You did not just say that, you did not just say that!
- Kermit: I'm done! I'm done! In fact, I’m done with it! I said, "I wish I'd never been born!" You couldn't wait to come back here again, YOU HAVE DONE THAT TO ME TOO MANY TIMES, DANIEL! I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT, I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!!!!!!
- Daniel: Well, if you bellowed at me, Then you be bad frog! No Christmas for you!!
- Kermit: I wish I'd never been born! There, I said it again! I wish I'd never been B-O-R-N, born! I wish I'd never been born!! I hate it!
- Daniel: Well, It sounds like you hate everything if you’re the one who’s being too savage, you don't even wanna find more christmas presents again! You never did!! NEVER!! It won't be gonna do help tomorrow then!!!
- Kermit: (Turns red & angriest) I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M GOING TO DO! DANIEL, I AM GOING TO FIRE YOU! DANIEL, YOU ARE FIRED! YOU ARE FIRED, DANIEL, YOU ARE FIRED FIRED FIRED FIRED, FIRED, I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!!!!
- Daniel: [screaming with rage] SHUT UP NOW, BOSS!!!!!!!! I told you a million times! Because, hate is a very strong word and not a very nice word to you in jail. You're gonna hurt in jail!
- Kermit: [begins arguing, fighting, screaming in anger and yelling at Daniel] THAT’S IT!! CAUSE I'M GETTING SERIOUSLY CANCEL AND DON’T HERE SEE ME AGAIN, BECAUSE, I HATE YOU, I WIISSHH I HAADD NEEVVEER BEEEENN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
