It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie
It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie is a 2002 Christmas television movie featuring the Muppets.
Dialogue
[edit]- Gonzo: Kermit, what's wrong?
- Sal Minella: Yeah, your gloomy behavior would make us wonder if something bad has happened.
- Kermit: [stammers] We lost everything.
- Muppets: [confused] Huh?
- Johnny Fiama: Uh, you're good, I didn't know you could read people like that.
- Sal Minella: It's a gift. Like my gold record player.
- Kermit: [sadly] I'm sorry I convinced you all to work so hard and believe in this dream. It was all for nothing! [all the Muppets sadly groaning] We lost the money, we lost the theater. We've lost everything.
- Robin the Frog: But it'll work out all right. Right, Uncle Kermit? I mean, we'll just all pull together and everything'll be okay. Right? [all the Muppets agreed with Robin the Frog, but not Kermit]
- Kermit: [sadly] Not this time. [Kermit tearfully walks away on the theater]
- [Fozzie is mistaken for the Grinch.]
- Nancy Nut-What: Look! It's him! That green guy who stole Christmas, and ruined all our wishes! I'm Nancy Nut-What from Whatville, you see, and you've made me and uncle Nicky quite angry. He'll make sure you don't steal Christmas again, by making you feel some serious pain.
- Nicky Nut-What: Let's get him, and... uh... I can't rhyme. Can't we just go beat him up?!
- Nancy Nut-What: Yeah, let's go get that sick, green pup!
- Kermit: Miss Bitterman, you changed the contract.
- Miss Bitterman: You can't prove that.
- Kermit: I can't believe you'd do this on Christmas Eve.
- Miss Bitterman: Huh. By now, I thought you would've realized I'm the bad guy.
- Daniel: [after having saved Kermit from freezing to death] You're alive! Now I can save you!
- Kermit: Yeah, well, do me a favor, and don't bother. Nobody can save me.
- Daniel: I think I can. You see, my name is Daniel. And I've been sent from above in the name of justice, to right or wrong, and help you get the theater back.
- Kermit: You? You look some kind of ice cream man from Hello, Dolly.
- Daniel: Well, normally, I'm an accountant.
- Kermit: Well, normally, I'd like to sit and listen to this, but, uh... I got other things on my mind. Goodbye.
- Daniel: No, you don't understand. I know that Bitterman changed the contract.
- Kermit: How do you know that? Oh, wait a second, you don't run one of those Muppet Internet fansites, do you?
- Daniel: No, no, no, I'm a friend, and I'm here to help. I'm sure if we put our heads together, we could come up with a plan.
- Kermit: Sure. Whatever.
- Daniel: What would the Boss do? Hey! We'll call the press. Alert the media! Start a frenzy!
- Kermit: No way, pal. Bitterman owns the paper, she owns the TV stations, and three quarters of the Internet.
- Daniel: How could one person own so much?
- Kermit: Corporate synergy. It's outta control. [shows him the NBC logo on his flipper] Now, could you please just leave me alone? Please!
- Daniel: Actually, I'm not allowed to. Besides, you should not be alone right now. You're not yourself.
- Kermit: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Daniel: Kermit the Frog would not walk out on his friends on Christmas Eve.
- Kermit: [snaps] What do you know about my friends, huh?! I'll tell you what I know! My friends would be better off without me, that's what I know!
- Daniel: What? That is not true.
- Kermit: It is true, it is true! In fact, I've ruined their lives, and I wish I'd never been born!
- Daniel: [aghast] Oh... No... You did not just say that, you did not just say that!
- Kermit: I did just say it! I said, "I wish I'd never been born!"
- Daniel: What am I supposed to do now?!
- Kermit: I wish I'd never been born! There, I said it again! I wish I'd never been B-O-R-N, born! I wish I'd never been born!
- Daniel: [reading from a manual] Chapter 12, Paragraph Two. "If the subject tells the field agent, that he wished he'd never been born..."
- Kermit: Psst, psst. Come close. I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!
- Daniel: "...then the field agent is required to adjust the world accordingly."
- Kermit: Yeah, do whatever you like, because, did I mention, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!
