Jani Allan

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Jani Allan 2010

Jani Allan (11 September 195225 July 2023) was a South African columnist and radio personality who became the subject of media coverage.


  • As remote as the rings of Saturn... A man with his stubby million-rand finger perennially prodding the public's pulse, his eyes constantly roving the horizons of the future, Kerzner has the power of a Prometheus unbound.
  • The happy-go-lucky barefoot kid who loved rugby, ice-cream-and-hot-chocolate sauce, staying at home for a braai and the flieks grew up into an international rubgy player, idol of millions and South African cult figure...
  • The voice (sometimes an ominous rumble that sounds as though he's been gargling with pebbles, sometimes the bliss of Bailey's Irish Cream swirling lazily about a fine crystal goblet) crescendos almost imperceptibly.
  • His voice, like a malted milkshake marinated for more than seventy years, has a slightly monotonous lilt - rather like a Hindu chanting Bagavad Gita.
  • the little roly-poly Russian-born rebel of the canvas.
  • It is her total professionalism and perennial striving for perfection that elevated Moira from the merely blonde to the maxi-talented.
  • The original of the yellow rose is clad (you've guessed it) in canary yellow. The lemon-meringue confection has been poured into yellow slacks and yellow shirt, an immaculate yellow-blonde barbie-doll with 'EFG- Follies-Girl' written all over her.
  • A black-belt bullshitter
  • You'd have to be dead not to be impressed by his sincerity. But then didn't Oscar Wilde say say "The worst vice of the fanatic is his sincerity".
  • I'm impaled on the blue flames of his blowtorch eyes, you see.
  • to miik the citizens to the extent that they start mooing, is contrary to improving living standards.


  • A pervasive moral turpitude underlies South African society.
  • I disapproved of the number of men she had traipsing into her bedroom and suggested she should have a turnstile on her bedroom door.
    • Describing Linda Shaw, her former flatmate and defence witness in 1992 in the London High Court to George Carman, defence lawyer representing Channel 4 during the libel case she filed against the broadcaster.[1]
  • Whatever award is given for libel, being cross-examined by you would not make it enough money.
    • Speaking in 1992 in the London High Court to George Carman, defence lawyer representing Channel 4 during the libel case she filed against the broadcaster.[2]
  • a small bewigged ferret
  • The facts of the matter are (that) I did not do any of the things of which I was accused by paid witnesses. But having said that, I'm not sitting here today pleading for the world to believe me because I've come to God. He knows what's in my heart; he knows the truth of the matter. And the witnesses who lied do as well.
    • Speaking in 1995 in an SABC interview about witnesses in her libel case against Channel 4.[4]
  • And I think that my whole life, looking back at it, I was so rooted in worldly things, in worldly values, fame, fashion and fortune and all the things that are just transient.
    • Speaking in 1995 in an SABC interview about a change of philosophy following her libel case against Channel 4.[5]
  • That night I made copies of all the documents with shaking hands and gave them to a friend with contacts in the British secret services. I had a bitter taste in my mouth.
    • Writing in her column about how she reacted after she realised she had been recruited as an 'unwitting' spy by Cliff Saunders in London in the early 1990s.[6]
  • Most of the time our discussions are political, because it's hard not to be political in this country (not like in Britain, where you can ignore the rather sedate way everything's going downhill).
  • But despite the fact that everyone thinks that I'm an IFP member, I do not have any political affiliations. I support Buthelezi the man because he makes me believe that heroes still exist.
    • Speaking in 1997 during an interview with The Independent about her political affiliations in South Africa [8]
  • Dressing with style is akin to issuing a manifesto; dressing fashionably is like signing a petition.[9]

About Jani Allan[edit]

  • I had an idea of her humour from her writing and I'd always appreciated that very English brand of wit. She has a razor-sharp mind... Jani is a very sensitive and emotional person. I don't think I've got the same fine sensitivity or compassion that she has. But finding ourselves on the same wavelength as Christians is more profound and meaningful to me than anything else. Over the years we've warmed towards each other as Christians. That bond, apart from the friendship, rises above all different political ideas. It's more of a spiritual link.
  • Your piece on me acted like a bicycle pump and I mooned around for ages, smiling foolishly and cannoning off the wallls.
  • [P]leated Trixi Schober trousers in faux-poor crushed linen, jewelled sweaters produced in Mariucca Mandelli's unmistakable hand, a sculpted Karl Lagerfeld handbag, scarves and gloves by Nanni.
  • She is not destructive - but she does have a particular facility for puncturing pomposity.
  • The only girl who ever knocked me out.

External links[edit]

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