Joe Bob Briggs
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Joe Bob Briggs (born 27 January 1953) is the pseudonym of John Irving Bloom, a syndicated film critic, writer and actor.
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Quotes
[edit]- The man is ugly, the man is evil, and the man is in love. This is gonna be an American classic.
- I made the mistake of watching "A.I." on cable the week they showed it about 792 times, and I ended up watching it every time it was on.
- Speaking of things that'll make your head explode, "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" finally made it to the drive-in
- The fifties were when people started coming down on "juvenile delinquents," "hoodlums," "vandals"--anybody that was young, wore a motorcycle jacket, and didn't act polite around older people.
- I Was a Teenage Werewolf review[4]
- "I think we should take money from everyone," I told her, "regardless of their ability to pay. After all, this is America."
- La Femme Nikita review[5]
- Menahem Golan, the Israeli king of the ninja flick, announced he was producing the remake.
- Night of the Living Dead (1990 remake) review[6]
Repeated phrases
[edit]- Eleven dead bodies. One dead cat. No breasts.
- This line is from a review[7] of Candyman II: Farewell To The Flesh
- Similar "summary" lines feature in many of the reviews.
- If you know what I mean, and I think you do.
- Since Joe-Bob was unallowed to swear or make sexual remarks (beyond a point) in the newspaper, anything regarding sex he was unallowed to say was said with a euphemism, such as "Making the sign of the four-legged spouting walrus," followed by this.
- Example: Swamp Thing Review
- Joe Bob says check it out.
- Used as the final sentence in all reviews except the very earliest.
- Example: Ice Pirates Review
