John Weiss (28 June 1818 – 9 March 1879) was an American author and clergyman, as well as a noted abolitionist.
- Irony is jesting hidden behind gravity. Humor is gravity concealed behind the jest.
- Wit, Humor, and Shakespeare: Twelve essays (1876), p. 63.
- The truest worship is a life;
All dreaming we resign;
We lay our offerings at Thy feet, —
Our lives, O God, are Thine!
- Reported in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert, Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers (1895), p. 118.