Justified (TV series)

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Stars of the show Justified

Justified (2010–2015) is an American TV show, airing on FX, about U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens, a modern day 19th century-style lawman, who enforces his brand of justice to put a target on his back with criminals and puts him at odds with his bosses in the Marshal service. As a result, he gets reassigned to the U.S. District covering the town where he grew up. It is based on Elmore Leonard's novels Pronto and Riding the Rap and his short story "Fire in the Hole".

Season 1


Fire in the Hole [1.01]

Boss: The Marshals' office has conducted an internal investigation under the proceedings that occurred at the hotel in question.
Raylan Givens: Well, lets just keep it simple, huh? He pulled first and I shot him.

Raylan Givens: You concerned about me coming down here?
Art Mullen: It's a small office, Raylan. I'm concerned when we switch brands of coffee.

Raylan Givens: [to Dewey Crowe] Hey, if I was you, I'd give up this Nazi bullshit. Go back to poaching gators. It's safer.

Raylan Givens: You know, Boyd, I think you just use the Bible to do whatever the hell you like.
Boyd Crowder: Well, what do you think I like, Raylan?
Raylan Givens: You like to get money and blow shit up.

Ava Crowder: You wanna know what Bowman said when he looked up and he saw me with his deer rifle?
Boyd Crowder: God damn, woman, you only shoot people when they're eatin' supper?

Raylan Givens: I guess I never thought of myself as an angry man.
Winona Hawkins: Well, you do a good job of hiding it, and I suppose most folks don't see it, but honestly, you're the angriest man I have ever known.

Riverbrook [1.02]

Raylan Givens: Looks like it hurts.
Boyd Crowder: Why, yes, Raylan. Thank you for noticing. Somebody shot me in the chest the other day.

Art Mullen: I got a call this morning from AUSA David Vasquez. Wants to talk to you about you shooting Boyd Crowder.
Raylan Givens: What's there to talk about? He pulled first. There was a witness.
Art Mullen: But you see, ten days ago you shot a man in Miami. Put it like this: you were in the first grade; bit a kid every week? They'd start to think of you as a biter.

Raylan Givens: Art tells me you were a sniper with the Rangers.
Tim Gutterson: Yeah, I was.
Raylan Givens: What's the longest you ever had to watch a target?
Tim Gutterson: Three days. Shitty little village outside Kandahar. You watch a man that long, you can get to know him better than his wife does. How he reads the paper, picks his nose, what glass he likes for tea, what one for milk. If he jerks off, what he looks at when he does. If he's nice to the dog when no one's around.
Raylan Givens: What's the trick to something like that? Keeping your focus?
Tim Gutterson: Well, they told us to come up with stories about ourselves and the target.
Raylan Givens: What do you mean, "stories"?
Tim Gutterson: Well, nothing elaborate. Imagine taking Shirley to the movies, watching Price is Right, eating takeout Chinese. They eventually stopped that, the business with the stories.
Raylan Givens: Why is that?
Tim Gutterson: They found some folks get so involved in the tales they're telling themselves, they grow to like the target. And when they got the green light, they couldn't pull.

Douglas Cooper: Y'all sleeping together?
Shirley Kelso: We're cousins!
Douglas Cooper: Well, from all the lotions, condoms, and devices I saw sitting on your nightstand, it's clear you're sleeping with somebody.
Dupree: [beat] Well, it ain't like we're first cousins or anything...

Rachel Brooks: Got to ask. Why the hat?
Raylan Givens: Honestly? I tried it on one time, and it fit.

Fixer [1.03]

Art Mullen: Raylan, I got a courtesy call from the Harlan County Sheriff's Department — your daddy was arrested.
Raylan Givens: Did he kill anybody?

Raylan Givens: Miami is a sunny place for shady people.

Raylan Givens: I got sent here, I think because they knew it was the one place I didn't want to go. In fact, as I recall, Winona and I promised each other we'd never come back here.

Raylan Givens: Tim, when you were working with Pinter, you ever come across a guy looks like a black Mr Clean? Dresses like the janitor in a rap video.
Tim Gutterson: Like it says Tommy Hilfiger on his coveralls?
Raylan Givens: Yeah, like he wears a t-shirt with his gators.
Tim Gutterson: Detroit accent, looks like he could dead-lift the back of a car?
Raylan Givens: ....... Uh-huh.

Art Mullen: I love how these guys are so calm when you're coughing up blood.

Arnold Pinter: I hate it here. Kentucky. I hate every one of these toothless, banjo strumming, red neck pricks. No offence.

Long in the Tooth [1.04]

Raylan Givens: You ever consider I happen to be good at the job?
Rachel Brooks: And you being a tall, good-looking white man with a shitload of swagger, that has nothing to do with it? You get away with just about anything.
Raylan Givens: What do I get away with?
Rachel Brooks: Look in the mirror. How do you think it'd go over if I came into work one day wearing a cowboy hat? You think I'd get away with that?
Raylan Givens: Want to try it on?

Raylan Givens: I can only imagine how hard it has been for you to get where you are in the Marshal service
Rachel Brooks: Because I'm black or because I'm a woman?
Raylan Givens: Because you're an idiot.

Frank: [discussing Pulp Fiction] I'm saying, why does he still have his gun out in the first place? When's the last time you rode around in a car holding your gun?
Joe: 'Cause it's a movie! That don't happen, then there's no movie. No messy car, no cleaner. I mean, what do they do? They drive home, jerk off, take a nap?

Raylan Givens: Looks like we have a sniper on the Mexican side.
Roland Pike: Well, that's not going to help tourism.

Raylan Givens: Are you armed?
Roland Pike: Well, I just had my dick in my hand.

The Lord of War and Thunder [1.05]

Art Mullen: You've been in here for three days, and you've got no sign.
Rachel Brooks: Not no sign. His ex-wife has been packing in a lot of beer.
Art Mullen: Well, get a search warrant.
Rachel Brooks: Can't get a warrant based on beer consumption.
Art Mullen: How do you know?
Raylan Givens: We tried.

Raylan Givens: [about Arlo] Why can't you bail him out?
Helen Givens: Those are the first words out of your mouth?
Raylan Givens: I'm sorry, I'll start again. I see you're still smoking.
Helen Givens: You still piss in your bed?
Raylan Givens: No, you see, I gave up my bad habits.

Arlo Givens: I heard about you shooting Boyd.
Raylan Givens: Hmm.
Arlo Givens: All I need is a bunch of Crowders wanting revenge on a Givens.
Raylan Givens: Well, I think I'm higher up on their list.

Arlo Givens: Where were you, woman?
Helen Givens: Down in the parking lot, giving blowjobs for cash.
Arlo Givens: Were you paying or were they?

Johnny Crowder: You shot my cousin.
Raylan Givens: No, no. God shot Boyd. Ask him. He'll tell you I saved his soul.

The Collection [1.06]

Ava Crowder: You're tarnished with the dark stain of D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
Raylan Givens: My marriage ended a little bit more amicably than yours.
Ava Crowder: Funny, why did your marriage end?
Raylan Givens: It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Art Mullen: Are you cold standing out here?
Raylan Givens: [without his shirt on] Not really. Why?
Art Mullen: 'Cause I can't keep from staring at your nipples!
Raylan Givens: I'll be out in ten.
Art Mullen: Thank you!

Raylan Givens: I figure people have a right to their hobbies and I have a right to find those people creepy.

Karl Hanselman: Next time you're in Cincinnati, come by the gallery, I'll show you my collection. I think you'll be quite surprised.
Raylan Givens: Honestly, I'd rather stick my dick in a blender.
Art Mullen: Well, that might solve a few problems.

Karl Hanselman: My father grew up in Germany, in Munich, before the war. He was very poor. He saw the wealthy of his city, and he wanted what they had. But there was no way someone like him could ever hope to rise to that... and then along came a very charismatic man who knew who was to blame, and my father followed him. Publicly, after the war, my father recanted everything the Reich stood for, but he never did in his heart. In private, after some wine, he would say that his years working for Hitler were the best of his life. His proudest achievement was when Hitler selected him to run a team that went through the country, reacquiring the Fuhrer's old paintings. I hated my father. So, this has been my project. I buy Hitler's shitty paintings... and I burn them.

Blind Spot [1.07]

Art Mullen: Just what part of being under investigation confuses you, Raylan?
Raylan Givens: So many things confuse me, Art.
Art Mullen: Do you think we're going to banter here? 'Cause we're not.

Hunter Mosley: You know what they say about back woods cabins in Harlan, they're like assholes, sawed off shotguns and pick-up trucks.
Ava Crowder: Everybody's got one.

Hunter Mosley: You know, I put Bo away five years ago. He was running drugs up through Harlan. Wasn't selling, more of a conduit for shit flowing up from the South. But my problem with the Crowders started a while before that. You remember Henry Crowder?
Raylan Givens: He drove the Bookmobile around to all the schools.
Hunter Mosley: Great guy, sweet guy. The one good Crowder.
Raylan Givens: Yeah.
Hunter Mosley: Until one day, eight years ago, he picked up a 10-year-old little girl, drove her over to Pine Mountain Forest, tied her up—
Raylan Givens: No.
Hunter Mosley: —raped her, strangled her. Charlotte Rose Thomas. My niece.
Raylan Givens: Well, I can't imagine anything worse than that.
Hunter Mosley: She'd be finishing high school about now.
Raylan Givens: You put Henry away?
Hunter Mosley: I spent years searching high and low. Never found him. But I rode them Crowders hard. Some folks say that's why I put Bo away for his drug running.
Raylan Givens: As opposed to you actually doing your job.
Hunter Mosley: Exactly. Did make a contribution, though.

Red: What do they want?
Hunter Mosley: Well, they want rainbows and unicorns. God damn it, Red! Catch up! What do you think they want? They want Raylan Givens.

Raylan Givens: You honestly see a way out of this?
Hunter Mosley: Well, you mean like one of those police chases on TV? Helicopter following some dipshit through the streets? You know, when that idiot finally crashes, you ever notice how many get out and run? If you're like me, you're yelling at the TV, "What the hell you running for, asshole? We gonna get you!" And we always do, right? Except we don't, really. You know that. Not always. They just don't show the ones that get away on TV.
Raylan Givens: You're gonna be one of the lucky ones, huh?
Hunter Mosley: If I've got a one-in-a-hundred, Hell, if I've got a one-in-a-million shot, I'm gonna take it.

Blowback [1.08]

Bo Crowder: You all right, daughter-in-law? You look like you just walked on your own grave. What, are you surprised to see me? I figured that Raylan Deputy Marshal Givens would have told you I was getting out. Especially since he's the one that got my sentence cut by 87 days and a wake-up.
Ava Crowder: What the hell are you talking about?
Bo Crowder: By taking down Sheriff Hunter. All the cases that got made by that lying son of a bitch are now liable to be reopened. So, the US Attorney decided that anybody with a sentence less than six months wasn't worth retrying. Gave us all early release. God bless America.

Bo Crowder: Howdy, Marshal, I sure am glad you could join us.
Raylan Givens: Oh, no, no, no. I'm not joining you. You were just leaving.
Bo Crowder: Actually, I was just telling my daughter-in-law how the one thing that separates the pie we get inside from a nice piece, like this one here, is the smell. I mean, there ain't nothing in the world like it. You know what, girl? I think I'm gonna have to lick your plate.
Raylan Givens: [grabbing his shoulder] Are you gonna walk out of here, or is this gonna have to go a different way?
Bo Crowder: The last man that put his hands on me like that, I beat him until his eyes bled. I guess it's a lucky thing for both of us that I ain't a convict any more, ain't it?

Wynn Duffy: With one phone call, I was able to discover that the deposition you were scheduled to work this afternoon had been cancelled, letting me know that you'd be home early, and likely be home alone. Imagine what a genuine predator would have been able to do with that information.
Winona Hawkins: Or I could just call the police.
Wynn Duffy: The police are just a janitorial service used to clean up your blood after you've been murdered.

Cal Wallace: Hey, shooter? You got much experience with this sort of thing? Negotiating with a barricaded suspect?
Raylan Givens: Not really.
Cal Wallace: Well, you're doing a good job so far. You have established a rapport with the subject. But now you got to make a determination. Is the subject emotionally disturbed? Well, you got an opinion on that?
Raylan Givens: You seem pretty stable. Although, you did spend all morning with a shiv up your ass.

Raylan Givens: [After defusing the hostage situation] I think the bourbon sealed it.
David Vasquez: You must be glad to finally find a professional use for your office bottle, huh, Chief?
Art Mullen: I don't know what you're talking about. I was just as surprised to find that in here as anybody else.
David Vasquez: It was probably the cleaning staff that left it.
Art Mullen: Yeah. Teenagers.
Raylan Givens: Hopped-up kids on a joyride to hell.

Hatless [1.09]

Wynn Duffy: Listen, I don't know how you're associated with Mr. Hawkins, or why, but I'm gonna give you this opportunity to extricate yourself from his predicament before you get involved in something that, quite frankly, you don't want to be involved in.
Toby Griffin: And I'm gonna give you a minute to extricate yourself up out my face before I have to paint your office with your shit.

Gary Hawkins: You talk to Arnett?
Wynn Duffy: I did.
Gary Hawkins: And?
[Billy Mac knocks down Gary]
Wynn Duffy: I would describe his attitude towards your suggestions as unreceptive.

Bartender: Wouldn't it be easier just to buy a new hat?
Raylan Givens: Probably, but I ain't looking for easy.

Wynn Duffy: Come on, Emmitt! Come on! Show me the Benjamins the homeys are always rapping about!
Raylan Givens: Emmitt, I assume you're gonna take care of that.
Emmitt Arnett: How the hell was I supposed to know he was gonna show up without any cash?
Raylan Givens: Right, but eventually—
Billy Mac: Duffy's right. What happens to our cut if you pocket that deed?
Emmitt Arnett: Just get control of yourself, boy. Just relax. You're gonna get your portion.
Wynn Duffy: Of what? The land? What am I, a farmer? Show me the cash, Emmitt, or I swear to God I'm gonna get a machete and a blowtorch, and I'm gonna make your body as small as I possibly can!

Raylan Givens: [to Duffy] I shot people I like more for less.

The Hammer [1.10]

Raylan Givens: [saying grace before Boyd's flock] Dear Lord, before we eat this meal, we ask forgiveness for our sins. Especially Boyd, who blew up a black church with a rocket launcher, and afterwards he shot his associate Jared Hale in the back of the head out on Tate's Creek Bridge. Let the image of Jared's brain matter on that windshield not dampen our appetites, but may the knowledge of Boyd's past sins help guide these men. May this food provide them with all the nourishment they need. But if it does not, may they find comfort in knowing that the United States Marshal Service is offering fifty thousand dollars to any individual providing information that will put Boyd back in prison. Cash or check, we can make it out to them, or to Jesus, whoever they want. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Mike Reardon: [to Raylan] Look at you. You are every inch the goddamn gunslinger I heard.

Boyd Crowder: You know what Rome looked like before it became Rome, don't you? Some huts on the side of a hill, Little stream running through it. What it became... well, as they say, it didn't happen in a day.
Johnny Crowder: So you're building Rome? Well, I don't think this property is zoned for that.

Johnny Crowder: See, now, there you go again. Bullshit or true belief, I just can't tell.
Boyd Crowder: Truth always sounds like lies to a sinner.

Raylan Givens: Hey, uh, I was at the office earlier. One of the other deputies was reviewing your cases. He found one that was curious. A fella name of Kit McKendrie.
Mike Reardon: McKendrie. Yeah.
Raylan Givens: You remember him?
Mike Reardon: I remember his face, his greasy hair, stained teeth.
Raylan Givens: What was the deal there?
Mike Reardon: Did you read about the case?
Raylan Givens: Just the bare bones.
Mike Reardon: [to the bartender] Thanks, darlin'. [to Raylan] Yeah, I had him in my court, before I got to federal. First-time offender. Everything in me said that boy was evil. He had a daddy used to stub butts out on his arm. Swear to Christ, there were cigarette burns all the way up to his shoulder. So, I pushed down what my gut said, I give him a cream puff 18 months, banged it down to time served. About a year later, McKendrie shot a 6-year-old And the state trooper who come to get him. I looked into his eyes, and I knew he was no good, but I let my feelings interfere. Never again.

Veterans [1.11]

Boyd Crowder: You gonna introduce me to your friends?
Raylan Givens: Oh, my mistake, I'm sorry. Yes, of course, Art Mullen, chief deputy of this office, my boss. I thought you guys had met that night I shot you, but of course you were unconscious by the time he showed up.

Boyd Crowder: Raylan, we're getting precipitously close to the moment I ask to have my lawyer present.

Bo Crowder: That day I came to pick you up at big Sandy and I asked you to work some hours to help me rebuild my business and you said you wanted to walk another path, well, I reacted poorly. That's why I came too see you today, son, to say I'm sorry, to beg your forgiveness and your indulgence.
[Bo hands Boyd an envelope of money]
Boyd Crowder: What's this?
Bo Crowder: The smoke from your blast sent a signal across all of Harlan County. I got people lining up with cash in their hands, begging me for protection.
Boyd Crowder: Well, I can't accept this.
Bo Crowder: Why not?
Boyd Crowder: Cause I know where it comes from. The bible tells us that "a gift blinds the wise and perverts the words of the righteous."
Bo Crowder: Well, then let's just consider it an offering, my tithes to your church of the last this, that, or the other.
Boyd Crowder: You're not taking me seriously, Daddy, and I don't find that amusing.
Bo Crowder: You know, it's funny. I was just about to say the same goddamn thing to you.

Bo Crowder: Where's my money?
Arlo Givens: There is no money. People stopped paying.
Bo Crowder: You invited me over here to tell me this?
Arlo Givens: No, Bo, I invited you over to tell you you have to do something about your son Boyd. He has gone clear off the deep end.
Bo Crowder: Well, shit, at least he hasn't joined the other team, become a goddamn Marshal for Christ's sake.
Arlo Givens: At least Raylan doesn't run around, preaching Jesus and blowing up meth labs.
Bo Crowder: I got control over my boy. Can you say the same about yours? He comes to town, it's to ruin the likes of you and me.
Arlo Givens: Only reason my son comes to Harlan is because of your son!
Bo Crowder: …You’re gonna give me my money.
Arlo Givens: How much you want?
Bo Crowder: Fifty, to start off with-
Arlo Givens: I don’t have that.
Bo Crowder: How much you got?
Arlo Givens: Nothing.
Bo Crowder: Well, then why did you ask?!
Arlo Givens: Being polite.

Boyd Crowder: Well, how'd he get you to talk, then?
Dewey Crowe: He deputized me.
Boyd Crowder: He did what?
Dewey Crowe: He said he could deputize me, and then I had to talk.
Boyd Crowder: Oh, that Raylan Givens. He sure is a clever one.

Fathers and Sons [1.12]

Bo Crowder: You know, I may not own a private plane or a fancy car, and when you look at me, you probably just see some dumb redneck who likes to eat roadkill for breakfast and have sex with his cousins. I don't eat roadkill, I don't screw my relatives, and I didn't just get off of no short bus. So for you to bring me all the way down here to threaten me, as if I didn't already fully understand the stakes of our business agreement? Hoss, that's just downright insulting.

Art Mullen: [to Raylan] That's enough. I'm the chief, this is my office, it's my informant and it's my call. And that's my bottle, and I'm not gonna let you drink it all just because your daddy didn't hug you much when you were little.

Boyd Crowder: Well, as many of you good people may remember, I was a hateful man, and I was a sinful man. Seeking my way through the darkness, looking for salvation in worldly things! And evil things. Like Saul on the road to Damascus, I was long gone on a sinful journey, when the light of the Lord shone upon me on my deathbed in a prison hospital. And, brothers and sisters, I'm here to tell you today that bullet missed my heart, but it struck my soul. It struck it. For I was blinded. I was blinded. I could no longer see ungodly truth. For if any man be born again in Christ is a new creature, well, I am a new. a new creature! I am a new creature!
Preacher: Thank you, Boyd.
Boyd Crowder: Not quite finished yet, Reverend.
Preacher: By all means, continue.
Boyd Crowder: Now - Now, Jesus entered a temple in Jerusalem. He found moneylenders buying and selling where they should have been a-praying. He called their church a den of thieves. And he turned over their tables. He cast out the robbers! He cast them out! He cast them out! Hallelujah! He cast them out! And like Jesus, like Jesus, like Jesus, we must never be afraid to strike out against those who practice evil! We must take the high road of righteousness, even if it means walking, walking and leaving our own flesh and blood behind. Because there is no greater piety, brothers and sisters, - than the love of God. Amen to that! He is my one true father. There is no other. There is no other, Preacher. There's no other.

Drug Chemist: [to Hestler Jones] Listen, Lynyrd Skynyrd, next time we're opening a dick sucking business, I'll ask for your advice.

Bo Crowder: As a churchgoing man, I admire your turnaround, Boyd. I could never walk the path, though I understood its virtue. Your change has been remarkable, son. Having said that, you are getting severely goddamn close to meeting your maker.
Boyd Crowder: You know, I continue to tell myself that you are not an evil man, because I believe that in your heart, you have the ability to do the right thing. But I will tell you something, Daddy, and you mark my words. Now, you bring meth into our homes, and I will destroy it.
[Bo laughs]
Boyd Crowder: You think that's funny?
Bo Crowder: You know what's funny? You destroy me or my shit, it's the same thing as destroying yourself. That there is Crowder gospel. You mark them damn words, son.

Bulletville [1.13]

Boyd Crowder: For years I lusted after you, and I was far from subtle. Well, that was wrong. And not only because you were my brother's wife, but because it was unseemly, unwanted and it made you uncomfortable.
Ava Crowder: If by uncomfortable you mean it made my skin crawl, then yes.

Bo Crowder: Who am I kiddin'? I can't hurt my own son. [pause] Johnny, hurt my son.

Bo Crowder: Yeah, you see, the problem there is, I still don't know whether or not I can trust you.
Arlo Givens: You've known me 50 years.
Bo Crowder: Should that incline me to trust you more or less?

Boyd Crowder: Dear Heavenly Father, I'm not gonna pretend to understand. You told me what you wanted done, and that's what we did. How could you let it end like this? All these men trusted me to lead them on the path of righteousness for your name's sake. All these men came to you because they believed in me. And now they're dead. I'm gonna need a sign. I'm gonna need to know that their sacrifice meant something to you. [Boyd pauses, then sighs] Maybe I've just been talking to myself this whole time.

Boyd Crowder: Where you going?
Raylan Givens: I'm going after the young lady with the automatic weapon.
Boyd Crowder: I'll get her.
Raylan Givens: What are you gonna do after you get her?
Boyd Crowder: I ain't quite figured that out yet. Are you gonna shoot to stop me?
Raylan Givens: Maybe.
Boyd Crowder: I'm pretty sure you're empty.
Raylan Givens: You gonna bet your life on that?
Boyd Crowder: No Raylan, I'm gonna bet my life on you being the only friend I have left in this world.

Season 2


The Moonshine War [2.01]

Raylan Givens: Alright look, I've tried to be reasonable. You give me your word in ten seconds or I shoot you in the head.

Raylan Givens: So, you want to transfer me?
Art Mullen: Honestly, Raylan, I don't know who would take you.

Jimmy Earl Dean: You're very funny. That's good stuff.
Loretta MacCready: Is this gonna be your new line? How we got the same sense of humor? What's in your mind? How do you think this is gonna go? You thinking, "maybe we'll fight a little, then it'll turn to wrestling and tickling and laughing, then she'll say, 'ooh, don't touch me there,' and then she won't stop me"? Is that how it runs in your head? You don't even know what to say now, do you? Even me talking about wrestling and tickling and "ooh, don't touch me there," it's like a spell's been cast, and you won't break it. Well, maybe you're just dreaming and you don't wanna wake up. [Loretta slaps Dean hard across the face] Well, wake up!

Raylan Givens: Woah woah, okay. I'm just gonna ask you one question. Do you know how a firearm works?
Jimmy Earl Dean: What?
Raylan Givens: The key word in firearm is "fire." When the pin hits the cap, makes the charge explode, meaning there's a spark, which should be of some concern to a man soaked in gasoline.
Jimmy Earl Dean: That's bullshit. That spark's too far away from the gasoline.
Raylan Givens: You didn't finish school, did you, Mr. Dean? It's not the liquid that burns. It's the fumes. Now, look. Now look, normally I would have just shot you myself the second you pulled, but I am doing my level best to avoid the paper work and the self-recrimination that comes with it, though Lord knows that you are the kind that makes it worth it more. Come on, Jimmy, can't we just try to end this without you turning yourself into the Human Torch?

Mags Bennett: [after poisoning Walt] Oh, this is the bad part, but it doesn't last long. Mixture's all natural, from up in the hills. All kinds of knowledge up in the hills. Something my grandmama taught me. She learned it from her grandmama.
Walt MacCready: Loretta?
Mags Bennett: I'll raise her myself. Don't you think that'll be better for her? Then the way it's been around here with you and your sadness. All the troubles of your hard life, it's all gone now. You get to know the mystery, Walt. You get to see your Sally Ann again.

The Life Inside [2.02]

Boyd Crowder: My outlaw ways are behind me.
Raylan Givens: Just you saying that scares the shit out of me.

Raylan Givens: You kicked the man out of the house? He's under house arrest.

Arlo Givens: I hope you get cancer!
Helen Givens: Already had it!
Arlo Givens: I hope you get it again!

Raylan Givens: [to Glenn Cosgrove] Glenn, we got it. You you knocked up an inmate, you hired someone to murder her and sell your child. Now shut the hell up, or Tim's gonna hit you in the face.

Art Mullen: Hell of a shot. Did you consider what might have happened if you'd missed?
Tim Gutterson: I can't carry a tune. I don't know how to shoot a basketball and my handwriting is, uh, barely legible. But I don't miss.

Raylan Givens: I saw a man threaten to shoot a pregnant woman through the belly, just before a bullet went through his brain so... I guess you could say, it wasn't good.
Winona Hawkins: I can handle that, Raylan. I can't handle silence.

The I of the Storm [2.03]

Art Mullen: So, you were out with somebody, and Tim happened to be there.
Raylan Givens: Could we not?
Art Mullen: Just suppose it could be Rachel. Are you sleeping with Rachel?
Raylan Givens: No.
Art Mullen: I don't guess Ava's looking to spend time with you. And I think I would remember if it was me.
Raylan Givens: You done?
Art Mullen: Unless, of course, you roofied me. Did you roofie me, Raylan?
Raylan Givens: Goodbye, Art.

Dewey Crowe: You know, Boyd... for a guy who supposedly changed, you sound an awful lot like you always did.

Dewey Crowe: [to Boyd] I know you think I'm stupid, Boyd, but...[long beat] I ain't.

Boyd Crowder: I was wondering if back when we were digging coal together that you had an inkling of the man that I might someday become.
Raylan Givens: You mean just 40 and still single?

Doyle Bennett: [to Dickie and Coover] You have any idea the federal shitstorm we'd bring down if we killed a marshal? We're talking black hawk-helicopter time. Jesus. I don't want either of you two doing shit or even contemplating doing shit until you run it by someone who can think.

For Blood or Money [2.04]

Art Mullen: [about Rachel] She's the best marshal I've got.
Raylan Givens: You realize I'm sitting right here?
Art Mullen: I do.

Art Mullen: You're getting old.
Raylan Givens: Not as old as you.
Art Mullen: And you're a dick.

Rachel Brooks: When I was Nick's age, before my father's cancer, I thought we were the Cosbys. My parents had good jobs, there was a feast on the table after church on Sundays. Shawnee and I would ride our Huffys around the neighborhood. We had good hair, and made straight A's. Except, as my mother reminds me, that wasn't reality. The jobs weren't all that good, and my father was never a happy man even before he got sick. And Shawnee was smoking pot at 9 and running away to smoke heroin at 15.
Raylan Givens: I never bore any illusions that my family was the Cosbys.
Art Mullen: Your family wasn't funny.
Tim Gutterson: At least you got to shoot your father. Mine had the nerve to die before I got back from Basic with skills and a loaded weapon.
Raylan Givens: You didn't miss much. I thought it was gonna be way more fun than it was.

Doyle Bennett: I had nothing to do with it.
Mags Bennett: Other than shootin' a couple of assholes to keep 'em from talking.
Doyle Bennett: Yeah, well... that.

Cottonmouth [2.05]

Ava Crowder: Why did you agree to rob that mine in the first place?
Boyd Crowder: Because it's what I do. It's who I am, Ava. As hard as I've been trying to pretend otherwise. Everybody else seems to know that but me.

Tom Bergen: Art, I've been in Harlan 18 years. People still look at me like I'm some kinda Yankee come down to burn their crops. But this guy...
Raylan: I know my people.
Art Mullen: You're like the hillbilly whisperer. We oughta put you on Oprah.

Coover Bennett: Ma ain't never left me in charge... Dickie neither. Here you sit?
Loretta McCready: Well it ain't as glamorous as it looks.

Mags Bennett: We need to talk.
Dickie Bennett: Can I get you something, mama?
Mags Bennett: Nothing's gonna take the taste away from my boys going behind my back.
Coover Bennett: Mama, w-we never went behind—
Mags Bennett: Cashing McCready's draw checks? How long did you think it'd take before that'd come back on us?
Coover Bennett: Mama, that's that federal. He's aiming for trouble with us, always has been.
Mags Bennett: 'Cause of your actions! Starting with hiring that pederast to do a job I give you.
Coover Bennett: I'm sorry, Mama.
Mags Bennett: Coover, I know you're sorry. That's why it's gonna hurt so much to have to do this.
[Doyle moves Coover to place his hand on a tree stump. Mags takes out a hammer]
Dickie Bennett: Hey, now! Hey, hey, now! Hey! Hey!
Doyle Bennett: Put your hand on the stump! Put your hand on the stump! Mags: Take what's coming.
Coover Bennett: Mama.
Mags Bennett: I'm saving your gun hand, now.
Coover Bennett: Mama, don't hurt me.
Mags Bennett: Cross me again, and I will leave you nothing.
Coover Bennett: Mama!
Dickie Bennett: You ain't got to do this.
Mags Bennett: You shut your mouth! 'Cause you're crippled to the point of worthlessness it ain't you down on that table. As it is, I have to hurt Coover. And I like Coover.

Blaze of Glory [2.06]

ATF Agent: Did she screw all your relatives? Or just you two?
Boyd Crowder: Now sir, I know you have an investigation to conduct but if you disrespect Ava one more time, I'm gonna come across this table.
Art Mullen: I think a threat against a federal officer would be a little more specific. Something more along the lines of, "If you disrespect Miss Crowder again I'll beat the ever loving shit out of ya".

Winona Hawkins: [to Raylan] The one who kicked me in the face... if you get the chance, shoot him in the nuts.

Frank Reasoner: [to Carter Hayes] I got you figured. You did most of your growing up in those juvie-detention gladiator schools. I guess Bobby didn't tell you I was the bench-press champion at Lewisburg. The next time you make me raise my voice, I'm gonna take this oxygen tank, and I'm gonna beat your ass to death with it.

Carter Hayes: Now, it appears to be running just a couple minutes late, but when it gets here, we're gonna take our money and be on our way. [opens his jacket to reveal a vest of dynamite] Otherwise I'm gonna have to huff and puff.
Raylan Givens: Okay. Okay. [to Bobby Green] Clearly, you're the smart one. I'm hoping you know what to do now.
[Bobby lies flat on his stomach and places his hands on his head]
Raylan Givens [to Carter] And you're the one who kicks innocent women in the face.
Carter Hayes: You mean that girl from this morning? She didn't seem so innocent. Does she taste as good as she looks?
Raylan Givens You know where I'm from, asshole?
Carter Hayes: No.
Raylan Givens Harlan County.
Carter Hayes: So?
Raylan Givens [punches Carter] Down there we know the difference between dynamite and road flares.

Art Mullen: If you run, I'm gonna put a bullet in that tank. You remember the end of Jaws?

Save My Love [2.07]

Raylan Givens: I'm surprised to see you here.
Boyd Crowder: Without shackles or an attorney present? It's a little strange for me too.

Gary Hawkins: I'm glad you agreed to see me, given our history.
Wynn Duffy: Our history, indeed. I took a bullet, lost seven pints of blood, and eighteen inches of intestine. I had the surgeons keep it for me as a memento of that day preserved in Lucite. Would you like to see it?
Gary Hawkins: Okay.
Wynn Duffy: Gary, I didn't have eighteen inches of intestine preserved in Lucite.

Boyd Crowder: Raylan. Raylan, I would never presume to tell you how to do your job and I understand that I am very new in this security game. However, I have spent a considerable amount of time hiding explosives. Now if you would like, I'd be more than happy to walk around here with you, show you where would I hide mine, in case there might be a place that you might miss.

Raylan Givens: The truth is, I don't know if you can trust Boyd to have your back but well, he has tried to kill me, and I have shot him, and imprisoned him and I wouldn't be surprised if our paths again cross in such a manner. He has had my back on two occasions. Once was the last day I was in the mine, and the other not so long ago.
Carol Johnson: My, sounds like a love story.

Raylan Givens: You think he was telling the truth?
Art Mullen: Well he's a bank robber Raylan, why would he lie to me?

The Spoil [2.08]

Kid: No spikes, no seeds, no helmet, no hitting.
Raylan: Nothing about no beating the shit out of a teenager though. I guess that'd be okay then.
Kid: Hey I'll call the cops.
Art Mullen: Kid, we are the cops.

Boyd Crowder: Well, now, more than once we've found ourselves on the same side of a fight.
Raylan Givens: Okay. Well, I'm on assignment by the federal government. You're a hired gun thug for a crooked company. Now, the only thing that we're on the same side of is, like, this car.

Carol Johnson: There have been some threats.
Mags Bennett: Oh, well, that's just awful.
Carol Johnson: Part of the job, I suppose.
Mags Bennett: Yeah, it's not easy being a strong woman. Take it from me. But you just keep doing what you're doing. Don't let them see you sweat.

Mags Bennett: Apparently, Black Pike is here to help us realize God's great plan. And all they're asking us to let them do, is cut the top off our mountain. Well, my people pioneered this valley when George Washington was president of the United States. And as long as we've been here, the story's always been the same: the big money men come in, take the timber and the coal and the strength of our people. And what do they leave behind? Poundments full of poison slurry and valleys full of toxic trash! Yeah! You know what happens when 500 million gallons of slurry breaks loose? The gates of hell open!
Carol Johnson: Those poundments are built strong to keep the slurry back.
Mags Bennett: The gates of hell open, and all that waste rolls down through the hollers and poisons the water and the land and everything it touches! Mining company has a has a word for those leavings doesn't it? "The spoil. The spoil"! And that is what our lives will be if Black Pike has their way with our mountain.
Carol Johnson: With all due respect, Mrs. Bennett, Black Pike will replace the mountaintops and leave money a lot of money in the pockets of the working people of Bennett and Harlan counties.
Mags Bennett: Is that a fact?
Carol Johnson: Yes, ma'am, that is a fact.
Mags Bennett: Well, that's something to consider. 'Cause it ain't an easy life here. No, ma'am. To an outsider, it's probably hard to understand why we're all not just lining up and saying, "Where do we sign?" But we got our own kind of food, our own music. Our own liquor! We got our own way of courting, and raising children! And our own way of living and dying. And to protect all that, we have got to say "No, thank you" to Miss Carol Johnson here and Black Pike Mining.

Carol Johnson: My heart's still pounding. Wanna feel?
Raylan Givens: You've had enough fun for today.

Brother's Keeper [2.09]

Ava Crowder: You sure you know what you're doing?
Boyd Crowder: I'm making it up as I go, but I sure am happy you elected to come along.

Carol Johnson: Getting this property seized is an inevitability.
Mags Bennett: You wouldn't be the first who tried, Missy Thing. Now, sit your bony ass down and listen to my counteroffer while there's still pieces of you big enough to find!

Mags Bennett: You pick the devil you run with.

Coover Bennett: My daddy ain't never did shit for me. Never give me nothing. Hell, her neither.

Raylan Givens: Now listen, Dickie. I will finish what was started here.
Dickie Bennett: Raylan, wait! Raylan!
Raylan Givens: You're gonna tell me where they went if it's the last breath you ever draw.
Dickie Bennett: I tried to stop him, Raylan, I swear to God! I did everything I could, I swear.
[Raylan steps on Dickie's lame leg]
Dickie Bennett: Please, let me just- let me go after him. Let me go after him. I can take care of this, Raylan!
Raylan Givens: No. I'm gonna take care of this now. Where?
Dickie Bennett: Agh- He said something about taking her to see her daddy!
Raylan Givens: Where?
Dickie Bennett: Up at the mine. Up- up in the mine shaft, up in the Garner mine shaft.
[Raylan leaves]
Dickie Bennett: Don't you hurt my brother, Raylan!

Debts and Accounts [2.10]

Art Mullen: [to Raylan] I thought at one point that maybe someday you and I'd be able to look back at all this and laugh, but shit, I don't think you're gonna live that long. You just go on and do what you do, and I'll just cleaning up after ya, and sooner or later this problem's gonna solve itself.

Mags Bennett: [to Hobart Curtis] Wherever your boys grow up, do you think they'd be better off doing it with or without their daddy? You figure out that next time before you open your mouth to me.

Raylan Givens: I've been wondering if I'm just a criminal at heart, ya know, truly my father's son.

Boyd Crowder: My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want but it will be the last thing you ever do, I promise you that.

Winona Hawkins: Who are they?
Raylan Givens: Lord knows. Any number of people who are trying to kill me.

Full Commitment [2.11]

Raylan Givens: Well I gotta talk to some people... alone. So... Either you let me go, or I'm gonna have to give you the slip.
Tim Gutterson: I love this shit. This shit gets me hard.
Raylan Givens: Well, we've both been warned then.

Mags Bennett: You did kill my baby.
Raylan Givens: Yeah.
Mags Bennett: But I was the one that let him become a nitwit. Now, I'm not taking the blame, mind you. Coover had plenty of time to straighten himself out. And you did save Loretta. Saved me from living out my days with her blood on me. I'm not sure it makes us exactly even, but I made a deal with your Aunt Helen to keep the lid on, and I intend to honor it.

Doyle Bennett: If the police chief wants to kill a guy, he ain't got to send anyone. He just waits for the guy to show up on his turf, and he rolls up on him with a bunch of his police officers. You know, that way, he can make it look like the guy died resisting arrest. Or if that don't fly, well, hell, he could just, uh, disappear the body down an old, boarded-up mine shaft.

Gary Hawkins: Duffy is crazy. I think you need to call for some backup.
Raylan Givens: We ain't calling anybody.
Gary Hawkins: Why not?
Raylan Givens: 'Cause all they'll do is try to arrest him.

Wynn Duffy: So, are we finished?
Raylan Givens: As long as you understand that the next time we have this conversation, it won't be a conversation.

Reckoning [2.12]

Mags Bennett: I had every intention of living a simple life. Raising my boys, keeping house... then Pervis got killed, and I accepted this role, did what I had to do for my family. I may not have lived the life I wanted, but I'll be damned if my grandchildren are gonna live it the same way. I got Doyle's boys a path out of this holler, and nothing is more important to me than that.

[Mags meets Dickie at his safehouse with Doyle]
Mags Bennett: Tell me it wasn't you.
[Dickie doesn't respond. Mags slaps his face]
Dickie Bennett: Hey, hey, listen to me. Mama... I love you, and I always tried to do what you wanted, but ever since Coover you just ain't been thinking right.
Mags Bennett: I am still the head of this family.
Dickie Bennett: Yeah, and why is it, Mama, that the head of this family gave away this family's territory... to Boyd Crowder, no less?
Mags Bennett: Boy, you don't know what you talking about.
Dickie Bennett: What I know is Boyd Crowder robbed us point blank at the shed, and Arlo helped him. What I know is Boyd ran off Rodney, told him he was the swinging dick around these parts! You, you gave Boyd an inch, he took a country mile. That's what I know.
Mags Bennett: If you had a problem, you should have come to me, like always.
Dickie Bennett: Even after you disowned me? No, I don't think so. You know, you can just go off. Go make all your big future plans, Mama. Go on, get Doyle and his tads their seat in future land, tomorrow land. I'll tell you what, I am living in the here and now, in Harlan County, and I ain't about to sit by and watch while a Crowder takes and takes and takes what's ours!
Doyle Bennett: You need to watch yourself, boy.
Dickie Bennett: It's my turn now.
Mags Bennett: You want to be in charge? Is that what this is about?
Dickie Bennett: I want... what's coming to me.
Mags Bennett: Okay, Mr. President.
Dickie Bennett: I want what's coming to me!
Mags Bennett: Helen is dead. Everyone know that you're to blame. Raylan's already been at the store, what are you gonna do when he catches up to you?
Dickie Bennett: That ain't gonna happen. We're gonna throw Raylan off that scent, give him a damn good reason to stand down.
Doyle Bennett: Yeah? How's that?
Dickie Bennett: Jed's gonna get himself killed resisting arrest.
Doyle Bennett: ...Goddamn. You gonna ask that of me after everything I done for you?
Dickie Bennett: I'm gonna tell you where he hides his share of the money. You find that and his shotgun, and you match his blood with the drops I made sure to leave at the scene... there you have it.
Mags Bennett: Dickie, I swear - your actions jeopardize my plans in anyway, I will let you swing for it.
Dickie Bennett: By which I believe you mean, "that's a damn good plan you got there, my darling son!"

Raylan Givens: Give me one reason why I shouldn't come up there and kick the living shit out of you.
Boyd Crowder: I'll give you 15 reasons in the mag, and one in the chamber.

Boyd Crowder: We can draw him out.
Raylan Givens: How would we do that? Take you to the middle of town, tie you to a tree, and wait?

Dickie Bennett: You don't have to do this, Raylan.
Raylan Givens: What did you say?
Dickie Bennett: I said I said, you don't you have to do this, Raylan!
Raylan Givens: Of course I do. This is who we are, Dickie. This is who we've always been. Givens, Bennetts going on what? Nearly a hundred years now. And this is how it ends. It can just end.
Dickie Bennett: You didn't just say that! It don't have to be like this with handcuffs in the woods in the middle of the night, Raylan.
Raylan Givens: You walked into my father's home and executed Helen in her goddamn bathrobe.
Dickie Bennett: No, that was not the way it went down, Raylan. Nobody executed her. She died because she had a shotgun pointed at us and she wouldn't listen when I told her to put the gun down. I told her over and over again, "Put the damn gun down," but she wouldn't listen, Raylan. You know how she was!
[Raylan clocks his gun]
Raylan Givens: Don't talk about her like you knew her. You didn't know shit about her. That woman saved my life. Did you know that? Criminal for a father, working a deep mine, wondering, "What on Earth could come along and save me?" Helen did. She told me to leave this place behind, be better than Arlo, and she gave me the money to do it. That woman raised her dead sister's kid like he was her own, because... goddamn you, Dickie.

Bloody Harlan [2.13]

Boyd Crowder: Are you asking me or are you telling me?
Raylan Givens: Well, if it makes you feel better, you can tell people I asked.

Raylan Givens: Doyle, I need you and your boys to put your guns down.
Doyle Bennett: And why would we do that?
Raylan Givens: Maybe you don't wanna see your brother's brains fly through the air.

Art Mullen: Assume the position... NOW. Do you dumb-ass peckerwoods understand English? On the ground, hillbillies! NOW!

Raylan Givens: You pull that trigger, your life is gonna change. And not for the better. Now, I want you to ask yourself what your daddy would want you to do.
Loretta McCready: I want him here to tell me.
Raylan Givens: Killing Mags ain't gonna bring him back.

Raylan Givens: Mags? What did you do?
Mags Bennett: Same thing I did to Loretta's daddy. It's too late. It was already in the glass, not in the jar. [starts to convulse] This is the hard part. Put an end to my troubles. Get to see my boys again. Get to know the mystery.
[Mags dies]

Season 3


The Gun Fighter [3.01]

Raylan Givens: Boyd, I've been to Mexico, I don't think you'd like it.
Boyd Crowder: How so?
Raylan Givens: There's a lot of Mexicans.
Boyd Crowder: Raylan, if a book could only be judged by its cover, you'd be a best seller.

Derek "Devil" Lennox: You want to keep buying quality bud, you gonna have to take all this off our hands.
Ava Crowder: Devil!
Derek "Devil" Lennox: Stay out of this!
Rodney "Hot-Rod" Dunham: Pull your head out of your ass, son. This is serious weight, and these are dangerous times. Now, you want this to get ugly? It can!
Ava Crowder: Of course that's not what we want, Mr. Dunham. We appreciate you coming by.
Rodney "Hot-Rod" Dunham: You're lucky I was already in Knoxville. If I'd come eight hours from Memphis for this, I'd be obliged to kick somebody's ass!

Fletcher Nix: [to Delmar Coates] Now, I don't like wearing a mask. I'm too pretty. So I am gonna have to kill you. But I'll tell you what, there's this game I like to play. I'm gonna put this gun between us and have the pizza man count it down from 10. When he gets to 1, we both go for it, so you got the same chance I got. That sounds fair, right?

Wynn Duffy: As a matter of fact, as I recall, last time we met, you told me the next conversation we had "wasn't gonna be a conversation".
Raylan Givens: This is a different conversation.

Fletcher Nix: I like your hat. There much call for cowboys these days?
Raylan Givens: You would be surprised.

Cut Ties [3.02]

Boyd Crowder: Well now, Raylan, you're talking to a man who's sleeping with his dead brother's widow and murderess, so if you're looking for someone to cast stones at you on this matter, I think you've picked the wrong sinner.

Raylan Givens: It bears a striking resemblance to the creature from "Alien".
Winona Hawkins: It's 6 weeks old, Raylan.
Raylan Givens: All right. Don't come running to me when it busts out your ribcage.

Raylan Givens: When did ya get married?
Karen Goodall: Two months before I got divorced.

Art Mullen: You know, back in the old days, we used to use the phone book. You know, whack! But people don't even have phone books anymore. We still used to tell people, "you have the right to remain silent as long as you can stand the pain".

Ellstin Limehouse: Bernard, did you ever hear me argue with your dad about the best way to train a dog? There was a time I thought that, uh, pain was the only thing a dog remembers. But it was your daddy who taught me a dog also remembers when you elect not to hurt him. And if you can get your dog to not just remember, but to learn from the not hurting, then he's yours for life. But some dogs, though, they take you not giving them the hurt that they deserve as weakness. And after that first pass, well, they can't ever be taught. You got no choice but to put that dog down. You ever see what happens when you put too much lye in the scalding water? Well, it burns off the hair and the hog's skin besides. Now, I'm gonna give you a choice, Bernard. I can pour some of this here on the back of your hand, see, turn the heat on the pressure hose up near boiling, and then we'll take this hand, and we stick it in under the stream till I decide we square. Then we take your hand out, pour on some vinegar, and hope that lye hasn't eaten down to the bone. Or you promise me that you will never fail me again in any capacity, and we can all go on back about our evening. Now, before you choose, I'm gonna tell you what. That first way hurt like nothing that you ain't ever felt, but it'll square us. Second way doesn't hurt, but it'll mean next time you screw up, I'll have to take that as a sign that you don't respect me anymore. Now, can I assume from your face that you're choosing door number two?

Harlan Roulette [3.03]

Raylan Givens: These boots aren't made for running.
Art Mullan: And yet chasing fugitives is a marshal's primary function.

Glen Fogle: Pull it again.
JT: That's not how Russian Roulette works.
Glen Fogle: You're not playing Russian Roulette dumb shit, you're playing Harlan Roulette!

Glen Fogle: [after JT survives Fogle's game of 'Harlan Roulette'] Maybe it's just your lucky day, son. [Fogle keeps pulling the trigger until he shoots JT] Or maybe not.

Glen Fogle: [about Raylan] You like old friends or something?
Wade Messer: Well, I-I set him up for Dickie Bennett, strung him up in a tree. I don't know, is that a friend?

Wade Messer: We're old friends, aren't we?
Raylan Givens: Friends? You strung me up, and left me for dead.
Wade Messer: I thought that was water under the bridge.

The Devil You Know [3.04]

Derek "Devil" Lennox: Just wondering if and when we're ever gonna actually make a move on something worth moving on.
Boyd Crowder: And I told you that time is coming. [as Raylan arrives] But we're gonna have to put a pin in this for now 'cause I'm sensing a disturbance in the force.

Raylan Givens: Well, you know what they say: getting old ain't for pussies.

Rachel Brooks: [to Errol] I'm ready to get dirty. Are you?

Boyd Crowder: Devil, knowing me the way that you do, whatever led you in your imagination to believe that you could pull this off? [Johnny aims his gun at Devil]

Boyd Crowder: [to a dying Devil] All I ever asked for was your loyalty. Was I not entitled to that, after everything that we've been through? I know how much it hurts. I've been right where you are, laid out on the ground and holding my chest, looking up at the ceiling, trying to find my breath. Devil, I was lucky I made it back. Son, you ain't gonna make it back. You want some help with the pain? You close your eyes, son.

Thick as Mud [3.05]

Raylan Givens: Well, maybe Lawrence Nightingale really did take him prisoner. Get it? Lawrence instead of Florence. Lawrence Nightingale.
Rachel Brooks: Yeah. I got it.

Boyd Crowder: [to Doc Stern] Well, now, way I see this thing, you're between a rock and a much, much harder rock.

Raylan Givens: Have you been pissing?
Dewey Crowe: He took my kidneys, Raylan, not my dick!
Raylan Givens: Your kidneys are for pissing. So why don't you try taking a leak, and if you can do it, then we know you still got your two kidneys.
Dewey Crowe: Come on, come on. [starts urinating] Holy shit. You mean I have four kidneys?

Raylan Givens: Honey, if I started arresting people for committing adultery, I'd never make it home for supper.

Robert Quarles: Boyd, have you heard the saying, "the most successful war seldom pays for its losses"?
Boyd Crowder: Thomas Jefferson. Prison doesn't offer much, but it does give a man ample time to read.

When The Guns Come Out [3.06]

Arlo Givens: Sneak up on a man like that; good way to get yourself shot.
Raylan Givens: By you in your boxer shorts there? I think I got the drop on you this time, Arlo.

Raylan Givens: [to Boyd] You want to run your hillbilly heroin fiefdom up here, that’s between you and the great state of Kentucky. I got no interest in shitkicker-on-shitkicker crime. But you will not drag me into this. The next time you set up an operation in this county or any other it better not have my God damn family name on the deed or so help me God, I will lose this star and the dance we do subsequent to that will not end with you finding Jesus in a hospital bed.

Delroy Baker: Shit, I guess my invite to this little "partay" got lost in the mail.
Raylan Givens: No, actually, you just weren't invited.
Delroy Baker: No, see, this here is my partay, and if you want to partake, you got to see me first. Do you understand?
Raylan Givens: Yeah, I do. But not today. Today's opposite day. So if you got business in here, you need to go outside and wait your turn.
Delroy Baker: Yeah? And what if I got no patience and I hate waiting?
[Delroy takes out his knife, and Raylan pulls back his jacket to expose his gun]
Raylan Givens: Shit. I didn't bring a knife.

Ellstin Limehouse: You still don't even know what you done, do you?
Errol Butler: I was just trying to clear the playing field. You know, get us control of things—
Ellstin Limehouse: Why?
Errol Butler: What?
Ellstin Limehouse: Say you was able to start a war between Frankfort and Crowder. Nobody ever found out you fired the shot that started the whole thing, and they wipe each other off the face of this earth—then what?
Errol Butler: Well, then we run this shit.
Ellstin Limehouse: Oh. So that's what you want. Be a gangster. Gold chains and champagne and the hos and shit. Oh, son. We have survived in these hills on our own for 15 decades by staying among ourselves.
Errol Butler: Yeah, but it ain't got to be like that anymore.
Ellstin Limehouse: When your foolishness brings this war to our doorstep, how long do you think we gonna last then?
Errol Butler: What we got to be scared of? They got guns, we got guns, too!
Ellstin Limehouse: Guns enough for the law? And for all the hillbillies that are gonna start taking it personal when we start killing white folks? They always wanted us gone, and now you done exposed us to every buried hate-filled desire in this county. And when the blood starts to spill, it will be on your hands.

Winona Hawkins: If you wanted to change your life for me, Raylan, you would have done so by now.

The Man Behind the Curtain [3.07]

Robert Quarles: I'll be back for the crown prince's arrival. And I will get us more money. I'm just gonna put a smile on my face, and eat a nice plate of steaming shit... unsalted.

Sammy Tonin: What you got to remember is Dad ain't big on second chances, and you only got one because of what he invested in you in the first place.
Robert Quarles: Tell the old man that I do not need a second chance.
Sammy Tonin: That's good. Because you remember what happened last time there were hiccups? You went a little crazy, you remember that? Have you told Mr. Duffy here about your your rent boy? About all it took to squash that?
Robert Quarles: I don't think Mr. Duffy is interested in the story. Anything else, Sam? No? Good. Then we got a lot of work to do.

Raylan Givens: I got mad ninja skills, buddy.
Tim Gutterson: Yeah, you know karate?
Raylan Givens: And two other Japanese words.

Shelby Parlow: I'm a greeter now.
Boyd Crowder: I don't think I could say "hello" to that many people.

Robert Quarles: I just got lucky. Amazing wife. Great kids. No, my problem all stems from my work.
Gary Hawkins: Ohh, yeah?
Robert Quarles: I swear, I'd be running the whole organization if it wasn't for my boss's idiot son.

Watching the Detectives [3.08]

Raylan Givens: [about dropping a bullet on Winn] I told him the next one might be coming a little faster.
Garrity: Deputy, that might just be the coolest thing I've ever laid ears on.

Jeremy Barkley: Who are you?
Garrity: Detective Garrity, Lexington PD.
Jeremy Barkley: And I'm FBI. Wait your turn.

David Vasquez: Arlo, a lifetime criminal. Is that a fair description?
Raylan Givens: I'd add "petty" to be more accurate.

Raylan Givens: [After being questioned in a murder case] That is bullshit, and you know it.
Art Mullen: Is it?
Raylan Givens: Is that a real question?
Art Mullen: Well, it had a question mark.

Raylan Givens: He's got the ice-cold, remorseless bottle-blond shit-bag killer doing scut work.
Wynn Duffy: Deputy, are you accusing me of being a fake blond? Because if you need me to prove it to you, I might be inclined to break you over that step ladder, ride you down like a teaser pony, and paint this room an entirely different color.
Raylan Givens: Now, that is the Wynn Duffy I remember.
Wynn Duffy: You concerned about me, Raylan?
Raylan Givens: Little bit. The S.S. Quarles is going under. You best swim like hell to get clear or the whirlpool will take you down with it.
Wynn Duffy: I believe they disproved that on MythBusters.

Loose Ends [3.09]

Raylan Givens: [about Boyd] Still think you can change him, huh?
Ava Crowder: I'm not trying to change him. I'm trying to help him.

Delroy Baker: [to Ellen May] See, darling, you got to understand, business is always gonna triumph— [Ava shoots Delroy in the chest with her shotgun]

Boyd Crowder: Well, Mr. Napier, I'd like to think that if I was behind an attempt on your life, at the very least I would've messed up your hair.

Boyd Crowder: My question is, does Mr. Napier know the name of the company that fired Shelby from his security job? Well, I'll save you the trouble. The name of that company was Black Pike Coal. Now, do you want us all to believe that Shelby here's a dishonest man because Black Pike tells us so? Do you think that Shelby's the only man in this room been done wrong by a coal-mining company?
Tillman Napier: Mr. Moderator, how many questions you gonna let this convict ask?
Boyd Crowder: Mr. Napier, everybody here knows that the only men the company doesn't do wrong are company men. And you stand up there with your slick haircut. You look down on Shelby because this man works for a living. You talk down to me because I've been in trouble with the law. Well, you know when that trouble began? Why don't you ask your good friend Harvey Jones? He was there. He was on the line when we struck out at Eastover Brookside, Duke power scabs, and gun thugs coming after us with bicycle chains and bats! Trying to run us over in their cars! And I know that you weren't there, Mr. Napier...but there sure were a lot of men there who looked like you. Men standing on the company side, laughing at all us hillbillies who were just trying to stand up for what we believed in. Now, I'm not saying you're a bad man, Mr. Napier. That, I don't know. But what I do know is that you've been feeding too long at the public trough. Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm gonna say no to the company man. I'm gonna say no to the lawmen who disrespect the rights of the people whose taxes pay for their salaries! And I'm gonna say no, I'm gonna say no, I'm gonna say no to Sheriff Tillman Napier, who laughs in our faces while he makes money off our backs!

Ellstin Limehouse: You rather talk pig shit?
Raylan Givens: Close... Robert Quarles.

Guy Walks Into a Bar [3.10]

Johnny Crowder: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you taking actual shot glasses? No, no, no, put those back and pull the goddamn Dixie cups that I brought! Oh, good lord... shot of the cheap stuff for every vote and shot of the good stuff if they bring a friend.
Boyd Crowder: Now make sure you water down that cheap stuff enough so it lasts.
Johnny Crowder: The boys I hired, they know what they're doing.
Boyd Crowder: Alright, Arlo's got a guy hauling folks out of Paden Holler.
Johnny Crowder: That's good, and Emmett Holler?
Boyd Crowder: Well, Arlo's gonna make that run himself.
Johnny Crowder: Arlo's driving a bus? Oh shit, well there's some folks might not make it to the polls.
Boyd Crowder: Ava, baby, how are things on your end?
Ava Crowder: Oh, the girls are excited to practice their constitutional right to vote, and to give a free hand job for every vote cast for our man, Shelby. They already gave out blowjobs to a couple boys Napier was counting on to haul for him... and convinced them to take the day off.
Shelby Parlow: I'm not sure I oughta be listening to this.
Boyd Crowder: Well, Shelby, now this is the nature of Harlan County politics. The people of Harlan County are ready for a change, they deserve a change, and we gonna win this thing.
Johnny Crowder: Damn straight.
Boyd Crowder: Yes we can!

Boyd Crowder: You're a lucky man, Mr. Quarles. You get to come all the way down here, a place you got no right being. You get to eat our food. You get to drink our whisky. You get to look at our women as you try to take it all for yourself. Why, you know what you are? You're a conquistador. Only we are not your savages. And now you get to leave with your life. Well, I'm hard-pressed to remember the last outsider in your line of work can say that. I hope you've enjoyed your stay... and you never forget who packed your bags.

Wynn Duffy: Mr. Quarles, maybe it is time you leave Kentucky.
Robert Quarles: I got nowhere else to go.
[Someone knocks on the door. Wynn goes to check]
Wynn Duffy: It's some kid.
Robert Quarles: See what he wants.
Wynn Duffy: Can I help you? (Donovan backs him up with a gun in his hand) Good call.
Robert Quarles: Yeah. (pause) Oh! There's a young man with a gun in our trailer, Wynn.
Wynn Duffy: Yeah, I noticed.
Robert Quarles: Did- did you do something to upset him?
Wynn Duffy: I don't even know him.
Donovan: You and me got a friend in common.
Robert Quarles: Oh yeah?
Donovan: Brady Hughes.
Wynn Duffy: Who's Brady Hughes?
Donovan: ...Go ahead. Tell him.
Robert Quarles: You're friends with Brady?
Donovan: Friends enough to know that the last time anyone saw him was with you, getting into a car together.
Robert Quarles: Brady is a beautiful soul.
Donovan: I don't want to hear your bullshit!
Robert Quarles: What would you like to hear?
Donovan: The truth! I want you to admit that you killed him.
Robert Quarles: But that's not true.
Donovan: Then where is he?
Robert Quarles: I don't know.
Donovan: Yes, you did! You killed him, and I want to hear you say it.
Robert Quarles: And then you're going to kill me?
Donovan: Say it!
Robert Quarles: How old are you, son?
Donovan: Old enough-
Robert Quarles: 19? 20? I was 14 years old when I killed my first man. I was given a choice: I would do it myself, or they would do it for me.
Donovan: You took him from me.
Robert Quarles: ...No. I didn't. My father was a heroin addict. (gets up) He wasn't necessarily an evil man, but he couldn't kick his addiction, couldn't hold a job, either. But to feed his addiction, he used the resources at his disposal.
Donovan: I don't care about your shit!
Robert Quarles: Luckily for my father, he had a very... pretty little boy. And plenty of men were willing to pay for my company. What is your name?
Donovan: Donovan.
Robert Quarles: That's what it was like for me, Donovan, for many years. (approaches Donovan) And then one day, a man named Theo realized what was happening. You see, Theo believed deeply in family, and one afternoon, an associate of Theo's picked me up from school, and we took a ride in his Cadillac to a warehouse. Theo ushered me in, where inside, on his knees, was my father. I was 14 years old, and I remember how it felt... to suddenly be free. You see, Donovan, I understood your friend Brady. I knew him without really knowing him, do you understand?
Donovan: Then why'd you hurt him?
Robert Quarles: "Hurt him?" No, son, I never hurt him. I did everything I could to help him. (points Donovan's gun away and hugs him) And then I set him free. I set him free.

Raylan Givens: I'm sorry, we're closed.
Robert Quarles: Sure doesn't look closed.
Raylan Givens: Yeah, well, we are. We're closed.
Robert Quarles: Oh, that's right. He's the bouncer now.
Raylan Givens: Wynn, take him out of here.
Wynn Duffy: I voiced my concerns, and they fell on deaf ears.
Raylan Givens: You got two minutes-
Robert Quarles: Marshal, aren't you going to ask me what I want?
Raylan Givens: I don't think I will, no.
Robert Quarles: There was an election today in Harlan County, and your man Boyd Crowder pulled a fast one on me. He slipped that hillbilly rug right out from under my feet.
Raylan Givens: I'm just gonna file that under "Who Gives A Shit?"
Robert Quarles: Well now, usually I'd be in a position to handle something like that, (snorts) because that's what I do. But then I got to thinking, I'd still have to worry about incurring your wrath.
Raylan Givens: I'm sorry, my wrath? Uh, you don't need to worry about that. You guys can take each other out.
Robert Quarles: And your father?
Raylan Givens: Sure, him too. Take 'em both out.
Robert Quarles: And that's why you are the way you are, Raylan. 'Cause your daddy's a criminal.
Raylan Givens: That's it, your two minutes are up.
Robert Quarles: I understand you've been snooping around about my friend, Brady Hughes.
Raylan Givens: Brady Hughes? Who's that, that the street kid you killed?
Robert Quarles: (gets up) You know, I decided upon something tonight, Jim Bob.
Raylan Givens: Did you?
Robert Quarles: I did... but I wanted to come down here and talk to you myself, right out of the horse's mouth.
Raylan Givens: I'm sure that wasn't necessary-
Robert Quarles: I'm gonna kill you, Raylan. Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, but some day you'll be walking down the street and I'm gonna put a bullet right in the back of your skull and you're gonna drop.
[Raylan draws his gun and fires it into the ceiling.]
Raylan Givens: US Marshal! I want everyone out of the building, right now! Get your stuff and get out! (Quarles laughs) Why wait?
Wynn Duffy: Okay, you had your fun. Let's go-
Robert Quarles: I'm not going anywhere. Neither are you. So how long do you think it'll take before the cops get here?
Raylan Givens: Mmm, they may not even come. I did show my badge.
Robert Quarles: And how do we do this?
Raylan Givens: You draw. I put you down.

Robert Quarles: And people will conspire to keep you down. You will reach for the edge, and they will lean the heels of their boots on your fingers. And you just keep fighting, and scratching and pulling, and just when you think you've reached the top of the mountain, they changed the rules. Then you have to start from the beginning, so what do you do? I know what you don't do, you don't quit. You don't run. You don't stick that gun in the back of your throat. You realize that you were wrong, you were wrong in thinking that you had already won. You claw your way back into the fight. True victory... is when you crush your opponent so completely that he realizes that he was wrong in opposing you from the beginning. And you stand atop of the mountain.

Measures [3.11]

Robert Quarles: You know, you disappoint me, Wynn. Word around the Detroit campfire is that you were a wild man. Comes to a little nut-cutting, suddenly you want to bitch out. Don't be like the rest of them. You can't have the "Duffy" without the "Wynn".

Longbaugh: This is a katana. My granddad pulled this off a dead jap officer at Shuri castle, Okinawa!
Robert Quarles: The greatest generation at work.
Longbaugh: He was a lying old sack of shit. Probably just bought it.

Raylan Givens: Art, I've got a daddy.
Art Mullan: Yeah, I've met your daddy.
Raylan Givens: Fair enough, continue.

Sarno: You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you sent us there expecting him to take care of us.
Wynn Duffy: Or you'd take care of him, have to go on the run either way.
[Sarno's associate moves to raise his gun; Sarno stops him]
Sarno: Whoa. A man doesn't talk like that unless he's holding the nuts.
[Duffy lifts his gun from under the table]
Sarno: Ah.
Wynn Duffy: It's nothing personal. I just figured the more soldiers Quarles has down here, the more tenuous my position becomes.
Sarno: Did you figure if you didn't put us together with him, we'd just go away?
Wynn Duffy: I figured it would buy me some time to cut a deal help you in exchange for a guarantee that I don't get left out in the cold.
Sarno: Hmm. Well, how about you help us in exchange for your lives?
Wynn Duffy: That sounds a little odd coming from the guy not holding the gun.
Sarno: Did you help Quarles because of the guns he had or because of who was behind him? Theo Tonin he carries this ear around in his pocket.
Wynn Duffy: I'm sorry. It sounded like you said—
Sarno: Yeah, yeah. It's a human ear. And, uh, whenever he wants to get some guy's attention, he just takes out the ear and he starts talking into it.
Wynn Duffy: Hmm. What does he say?
Sarno: I don't think it really matters.

Sarno: You know, there was a day when I would have said nobody could stealth me.
Art Mullan: Yeah? What happened? Lose your edge or just realize you weren't that good to begin with?
Sarno: Maybe a little of both.

Coalition [3.12]

Raylan Givens: You really think this is gonna go down?
Tom Bergen: I hope so, because if I'm missing my boy's tee ball game for nothing I'm gonna be pissed.

Boyd Crowder: Are you sure you're alright with this?
Ava Crowder: $3.2 million. I might find a way to get right.

Wynn Duffy: The point is, Mr. Crowder, when he asks me, and he will, where Robert Quarles is, does Theo Tonin sound like the kind of man to whom you'd like to say, "I'm sorry, but he escaped from a disease-ridden whore factory up in inbred holler"?!
Boyd Crowder: I'm gonna let that one go.

Ellstin Limehouse: Now it's funny how that money bring together all them wayward personalities.

Wynn Duffy: Are you smoking Oxycontin in my motor coach?
Robert Quarles: I most certainly am.
Wynn Duffy: Do that in your own vehicle.
Robert Quarles: My car's not that comfortable.
Wynn Duffy: Robert. Limehouse told you where to wait. Go wait there.
Robert Quarles: Is daddy getting mad?
Wynn Duffy: For once in your life, do what has been asked of you.

Slaughterhouse [3.13]

Raylan Givens: You remember the pawn-shop owner you sent after me, Glen Fogle?
Wynn Duffy: God rest his soul.
Raylan Givens: Had a little game he liked to play with his flunkies. Are you familiar?
Wynn Duffy: Uh, remind me?
Raylan Givens: I ask you a question. You answer truthfully, or I pull the trigger. You understand?
Wynn Duffy: It seems simple enough.
Raylan Givens: You have any questions?
Wynn Duffy: What are you doing?
Raylan Givens: Is that your question?
Wynn Duffy: You think you can make me talk?
Raylan Givens: That's your choice.
Wynn Duffy: Or you're gonna shoot me?
Raylan Givens: There's a five out of six chance I won't.
Wynn Duffy: Bullshit.
Raylan Givens: Where's Quarles?
Wynn Duffy: Kiss my ass.
[Raylan aims at Duffy and pulls the trigger. The gun doesn't fire.
Wynn Duffy: Jesus! Christ! There are cops outside!
Raylan Givens: That's right. They're outside.
Wynn Duffy: You're a cop!
Raylan Givens: Deputy U.S. Marshal.
Wynn Duffy: Raylan, you just can't come in here and shoot me because you- y- you feel like it!
Raylan Givens: Why not? Isn't that the way you guys do it? Isn't that why Tom Bergen's dead while his wife and children are grieving? So, you know what? Now we're gonna play by your rules.
Wynn Duffy: Raylan—
Raylan Givens: Where's Quarles?
Wynn Duffy: I don't know!
[Raylan pulls the trigger again]
Wynn Duffy: Jesus! Stop it! What is wrong with you?!
Raylan Givens: You want me to stop, tell me the truth.
Wynn Duffy: How can I tell you what I don't know?
Raylan Givens: Start with telling me what you do know.
Wynn Duffy: Okay. Just give me a minute.
Raylan Givens: No.
[Raylan raises his gun again]
Wynn Duffy: Hey! Hey! Hey! Okay! What do I know?! What do I know?! I know that, uh I know that Limehouse set this all up! I know that Quarles likes young boys. Who do you think called in the Brady Hughes tip? Me! I know that he wants you dead, and he probably wants me dead, too. And, yes, I tried to blow him up in his car! And then I drove away! That's what I know!
Raylan Givens: That's it?
Wynn Duffy: That is all I know!
Raylan Givens: You don't know where he is?
Wynn Duffy: I don't know where he is!
Raylan Givens: Okay. I believe you.
[Raylan leaves]
Wynn Duffy: Jesus Christ!

Art Mullen: [to Boyd] You're not as dumb as you look. I like the use of the word cahoots, though.

Raylan Givens: [about Limehouse] A horsefly sneezes in these hills, he knows about it beforehand, but I'm to believe the car bomb and the dead trooper down the road comes as news.

Boyd Crowder: Well I guess we best both sleep with one eye open.
Ellstin Limehouse: I always do.

Raylan Givens: I guess Art thought what Arlo had done upset me in some way. Could really only be expected; Arlo's a criminal, never been anything else. Art offered me a drink. I didn't need it but I took it anyway... then Boyd got his release. I asked if he was proud, letting a feeble old man take the fall for him - didn't seem to bother him none, one way or the other. He just walked out of there, happy as a preacher on Sunday.
Winona Hawkins: So then you came here, asking for another drink you don't need.
Raylan Givens: You sure all your sister has is water?
Winona Hawkins: I offered you milk and apple juice.
Raylan Givens: Not even light beer?
Winona Hawkins: Raylan, why are you here?
Raylan Givens: Well, I told you when I came in. Was just... wondering how this was all gonna work out. So you're gonna stay here with your sister until the baby's born?
Winona Hawkins: Mhm... is that it?
Raylan Givens: I thought I might pat the belly, see the latest sonogram-
Winona Hawkins: Tell me a story about a man getting his arm chopped off.
Raylan Givens: [about Quarles] You know what they're saying at the office? I dis-armed him.
Winona Hawkins: 'S pretty good.
Raylan Givens: Well, uh, it's getting late, I should go. I'll let you get back to sleep. Apologize to your sister for me.
Winona Hawkins: I will. Hey, Raylan? Only thing I didn't understand... why- why did Art think you'd be upset?
Raylan Givens: Well, I think it was why Arlo shot Bergen.
Winona Hawkins: Which was?
Raylan Givens: He didn't know he was a state trooper. Just saw a man in a hat, pointing a gun at Boyd.

Season 4


Hole in the Wall [4.01]

Jody Adair: You think this is the first time I had a gun pointed at me?
Raylan Givens: No... could be your last though.

Raylan Givens: You know what your problem is? You got no self-awareness. You think trying to do right by your children excuses everything, even killing men.
Jody Adair: They were heroin dealers. If they'd just give up their money, none of this would have happened.
Raylan Givens: Any problem, that's someone else's fault. You ever hear of the saying, "You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you're the asshole"?

Boyd Crowder: No one ever said runnin' a criminal enterprise was gonna be this hard, huh?
Ava Crowder: They left that part out on career day.

Jody Adair: [to Roz] Shoot him.
Raylan Givens: Jesus girl, you just showed me your tits 45 minutes ago.

Billy St. Cyr: Oh, hallelujah! But what you want to know is, do I get bit? Well, am I right? Right. Yes, I do. Now, only twice so far, hallelujah. By this one right here I call Mabel. Now, once, I took her out of her crate too rough, I deserved it. The other time, well, the lord only knows. Both times I survived the venom. It was the lord who saw fit to have me continue my ministry. Now, of course, not all survive. Our daddy and his before died from the serpent's bite, their place in heaven guaranteed, there being no greater sign of obedience to the lord than to be taken home in such a manner. So, that's why we're here. Why are you here, newcomers? You all come to watch the hillbilly with the snakes? Or did you come to be saved?!

Where's Waldo? [4.02]

Art Mullen: You came here about the job, right? You need to hear about this. I got a young kid here, decorated sniper in Iraq War, Army Ranger, I don't know how many kills he had. Always lookin' to kill somebody else. Probably got PTSD. Probably an alcoholic. Not a matter if that powder keg is gonna blow but when. I got a lady marshall here. Brought in two of the top fifteen fugitives to this office, but she's always tryin' to prove herself. I thought she was gonna be the one that would take this office over when I got ready to retire, but now she's left her husband so it's gonna be fun to monitor her emotional state over the next year, see if she can keep it together. Then I got a local boy, born in Harlan county, been investigated so many times internal affairs has got him on speed dial. Father's in prison for murderin' two people, including a state trooper, and his daddy killed somebody else last night in prison and I get to be the one to tell him about it!

Art Mullen: That mystery bag thing is giving me a bit of a Marshal stiffy.

Randall Kusik: I'll give you a free piece of advice. Next time, bet on me.

Raylan Givens: I'm sorry, what are we talkin' about?
Art Mullen: Where were you yesterday?
Raylan Givens: Why? Did somethin' happen?
Art Mullen: No.
Raylan Givens: So, what's the problem?
Art Mullen: You're keeping addict hours, you come in late, you leave early, you're haggard. It's like the baby's already been born.
Raylan Givens: I don't know what you're talkin' about.
Art Mullen: Tim?
Tim Gutterson: I'd rather not take sides.
Raylan Givens: Thank you.
Art Mullen: Well would you rather do morning prisoner transports for the next six months?
Tim Gutterson: You do seem a little tired.
Art Mullen: No shit! The question is why?
Tim Gutterson: Smart money in the office pool's on exotic dancin'.

Boyd Crowder: I would like to be your distributor of heroin in Harlan county. Now, I figure we split it right down the middle. You and me, we could both make out pretty well.
Wynn Duffy: But even if I were looking for a partner—which I'm not, by the way—it would have to be someone I could trust.
Boyd Crowder: Well, you can trust me!
Wynn Duffy: But I don't even trust the way you just now said I could trust you.

Truth and Consequences [4.03]

Cassie St. Cyr: I know why you keep misjudging us.
Boyd Crowder: Do tell.
Cassie St. Cyr: Unlike the rest of these sorry souls around here we're not afraid of you.
Boyd Crowder: Well, in that case, ma'am, I think we've misjudged each other.

Randall Kusik: You read what I did to the last old boy tried to make time with my wife?
Raylan Givens: Skimmed it. Something about a coma.
Randall Kusik: No, I marked him. Now, anytime anybody sees that little greaser gimp around, hears the punch-drunk way that he talks, what they're seeing and hearing is me.
Raylan Givens: Hmm.
Randall Kusik: What I made him. So how about at 6:00 this P.M, I put a little limp in that Gary Cooper walk, write my name all over that pretty face of yours?

Art Mullen: [to Raylan] Admit it. You're getting a little bit of a marshal stiffy yourself.

Art Mullen: If my stiffy lasts much longer I'm going to have to consult my physician. What's your opinion?
Raylan Givens: On your stiffy? I don't have one.

Mason Goines: You don't worry about how long you're gonna live. You worry about how slow you're gonna die.

The Bird Has Flown [4.04]

Rachel Brooks: Are you going to tell me how much money it was or not?
Raylan Givens: I did... it's a goodly sum.

Alvin: Any fool that didn't see that grifter Barbie coming a mile off deserves getting his ass fleeced.

Lindsey Salazar: How's that song go? Look for the rainbow in every storm?
Raylan Givens: I'll have to download that.

Randall Kusik: Oh, them chickens. You got to understand, man. I've been holding that dream in my head so long, I might kind of lost sight of the thing.
Raylan Givens: Randall, I know you're shackled, and it ain't half fair, but you say one more word about chickens, I'm gonna shoot you again.

Kin [4.05]

Nicky Augustine: Jerry, really? Is that really the price? Or are you just thinking about taking off with the money?
Jeremy Barkley: Jesus, Nicky. What the hell kind of a question is that?
Nicky Augustine: Uh, fair.
Jeremy Barkley: I mean, I've always been protecting you. I mean, we're friends.
Nicky Augustine: We are. But I heard the FBI doesn't even have the case anymore. The Marshals are running it.
Jeremy Barkley: [suddenly nervous] Where you hear that?
Nicky Augustine: Do you really think that you're the only guy Theo's got left in the FBI?
[Nicky shoots Barkley in the head]

Josiah Cairn: It was the young people drove me out. No values no more.

Boyd Crowder: Whole world's a tree, Raylan. I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut.

Foot Chase [4.06]

Cop: Waste of time if you ask me.
Raylan Givens: What is, doing your job?

Raylan Givens: Tim tell you I wasn't coming in?
Art Mullen: Yes, he did. Said the game was afoot.
Raylan Givens: [sighs] Here we go.
Art Mullen: I'm sure you'll keep putting your best foot forward. Do what needs to be done.
Raylan Givens: That why you called? Foot puns?
Art Mullen: Yes, actually. Yes, it is. It's the only reason.
Raylan Givens: Any luck delaying Arlo's deal?
Art Mullen: No. Sonya Gable hasn't returned our calls.
Raylan Givens: Why's that?
Art Mullen: I suspect she knows that we're trying to delay the deal.
Raylan Givens: Why the hell would she delay the deal?
Art Mullen: Well, I don't know, Raylan. After you finish playing footsie, why don't you go ask her?

Roz: I didn't have no goddamn sex with Teddy.
Raylan Givens: No, I'm sure you and "rapes with a smile" here were just talking.

Colton Rhodes: [as he beats Teri] Hey, listen, I'm-I'm not a bad person.

Boyd Crowder: Son, you are turning a corner that you can't walk back around.
Shelby Parlow: Well, that's like warning a man it's gonna rain when he's already wet.

Money Trap [4.07]

Sharon Edmunds: See, Raylan there, he's got the badge and the drawl and the whole squinty, sexy thing, and there was a time I would have run right to him, done the whole merry-go-round. Now I see that for what it is, and him for who he is. That man's an emotional disaster.

Tillman Napier: You're about as welcome here as a case of the clap. You can worm your way in here, but that's all you're ever gonna be. A goddamn worm.
Boyd Crowder: Well, too bad you weren't the early bird that caught it.

Raylan Givens: Jackie Nevada...Sounds like a name out of a Steve McQueen movie.
Jackie Nevada: My stepdad wanted to call me Sierra, but he named me after my mom instead. She walked out on us before I had a memory of her. They never married, and Reno wasn't even my dad.
Raylan Givens: Your stepdad's name is Reno? The man's name is actually Reno Nevada? Some kind of lounge singer?
Jackie Nevada: Card player. Taught me some tricks. Sometimes we get in games together.
Raylan Givens: Sounds like you had quite an upbringing.
Jackie Nevada: He did okay. Best he could without my mom. I did see pictures of her posing nude in the backyard once, Reno left on the dresser.
Raylan Givens: But you never saw your own mother?
Jackie Nevada: Lots of people haven't seen their moms or their dads.
Raylan Givens: Yet others do as much as they can to avoid them.
Jackie Nevada: You just showed your cards.

Jody Adair: That's how I see the world. Going around like this basketball. Me and you gonna have to meet up again, Raylan. Can't say when right now. You're gonna be looking over your shoulder till I make the scene. Then we gonna take it to the edge.

Lee Paxton: I think you're missing the point. Your daddy got the point. Crowders do what we say.

Outlaw [4.08]

Wynn Duffy: Theo's got a guy on his way down who has apparently killed more people than malaria.

Ellen May: Do you think that, um, that I could ever be the kind of woman who belongs in these clothes? And walk into church and not have people say, "Now, ain't that sweet? The whore's come to get saved"?
Shelby Parlow: I think If you pretend to be something long enough, it's not pretending.

Raylan Givens: [at Arlo's bedside] You're not gonna say anything, hmm? Just lie there and wait me out. Doc says you've been in and out and there's a chance you'd sleep all the time I was here, but we both know you're too mean to go that easy, so come on. Give me something. I ain't asking for an apology. Hell, that'd take too long, and I don't want any fatherly advice. Figure if you had any worth giving, you wouldn't be circling the drain in a prison infirmary. Just give me something. Who's Drew Thompson? Not for me, for your grandkids. They can grow up with a chief deputy for a daddy, hear stories about their granddaddy who wasn't just a son of a bitch.
[Arlo remains silent]
Raylan Givens: All right, Arlo. This is your last last chance.
[Arlo remains silent, Raylan moves to leave]
Arlo Givens: Don't go.
[Raylan stops]
Arlo Givens: Closer.
[Raylan leans in]
Arlo Givens: Kiss my ass.

Boyd Crowder: [being led from the back room of the bar, in handcuffs] Raylan Givens! If you were coming down here anyway why have Shelby drag me in again?
Raylan Givens: I didn't have him drag you in the first time. [indicates the officer leading Boyd] What's going on?
Officer: What's it look like?
Raylan Givens: Did Shelby send you?
Officer: He's the boss, isn't he?
Raylan Givens: I just saw him not fifteen minutes ago, he didn't mention anything.
Officer: Maybe he figured it wasn't any of your concern.
Raylan Givens: Well except I told him I was coming here. I'm sorry, we haven't met; I'm deputy US Marshal Raylan Givens.
Officer: Well, all due respect—
Raylan Givens: 'K, just, hold up. [to Ava] Is that an engagement ring?
Ava Crowder: Mm-hmm.
Boyd Crowder: 'S a big rock, ain't it? Now as acrimonious as our relationship has been lately, Raylan, Ava and I discussed it and you still gon' be on the guest list.
Raylan Givens: [to Ava] You know the definition of crazy, right? [Ava shakes her head] Keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting it to come out different. [Ava chuckles]
Officer: Sir, I'm gonna need you to step aside.
Raylan Givens: Okay, maybe I'm crazy, or I'm just having a hell of a day: did you just give me an order?
Officer: You don't move, I'm gonna shoot you.
[Both draw, Raylan shoots the officer, Ava and Boyd yell in surprise]
Raylan Givens: [calmly] Jesus, I hope I got that right.

Boyd Crowder: Now, all the things you've done, the way you built your fortunes, it might make you criminals, but it don't make you outlaws. I am the outlaw, and this is my world, and my world has a high cost of living.

The Hatchet Tour [4.09]

Art Mullen: You let Raylan take him?! Holy shit!
Nelson Dunlop: He said it was a late birthday present.
Art Mullen: Arlo Givens' body not even cold on the slab, and you let Raylan drive off into the sunset with his killer! Have you lost your mind?! Where is he? Tell me he's in Leoville, dropping off the prisoner like a good boy.
Tim Gutterson: Not unless they moved it to Harlan, 'cause transponder's got him around Baxter.
Art Mullen: God damn it. God damn it!
Nelson Dunlop: You want me to go up and get him?
Art Mullen: I want you to sit your ass down and get used to purging case files until I figure out how to like you again!

Raylan Givens: This prisoner is one Hunter Mosley. And he may be the only person I know alive who knows Drew Thompson.
Wynn Duffy: Well, now...
Raylan Givens: Mr. Mosley is being transported to Supermax in the recent wake of putting a shiv in Arlo Givens, such to end his life. So I figure, Dixie mafia has got a history with Arlo and Drew. Why not put the two of you together and see what shakes out?
Wynn Duffy: I'm sorry. Wait. Are you saying Arlo is dead?
Raylan Givens: You don't seem happy. I figured, if you ordered the hit, we'd all be drinking Wild Turkey by now.
Wynn Duffy: Deputy Marshal, I am truly sorry for your loss, but you have to understand... I had no idea.
Raylan Givens: [beat] Thank you, Wynn. Whatever your other failings, I believe that's true.

[Raylan is beating Hunter]
Hunter Mosley: What the hell are you doing?
Raylan Givens: In the words of Arlo Givens, I'm trying to knock some goddamn sense into you!

Boyd Crowder: Well cousin Johnny, Ava and I have been trying to put together a puzzle and it seems you have some of the missing pieces. Why don't you start from the beginning?

Hunter Mosley: Raylan, you listen to what your mama taught you and not that old son-of-bitch you may turn out all right. But I wouldn't count on it, 'cause we both know whose voice it is that makes you do what you do.

Get Drew [4.10]

Art Mullan: First thing we're gonna do is we're gonna acknowledge that this guy is awesome.
Rachel Brooks: What?
Art Mullan: I mean, he shoots Theo Tonin, fakes his own death in spectacular fashion, pushes a guy out of an airplane while he's flying it, parachutes into Harlan county with enough coke and cash to jumpstart the economy of small country, and then he has the balls to get a job in law enforcement, not once, but two times! He spends a couple days riding around with you while you're looking for him, and now he's run off with a hooker half his age. That's some badass shit.
Raylan Givens: It's pretty badass.

Johnny Crowder: Boyd doesn't give a damn about nothing. Never did. When we was kids, he'd build half a tree house, and then he'd run off and go build a go-kart. And then he'd forget them both and spend the whole rest of the summer stealing candy and trading it for cigarettes.
Raylan Givens: I'll take your word for it. I just dug coal with the man.
Johnny Crowder: And he gets back from the war, and he finds Jesus. And he receives his ordination through the mail from one of them Bible colleges down in South Carolina or some shit, making us all learn the ways of white supremacy, as it was laid down by the Lord almighty. Then he goes on and on and on about white flight and all that shit. You know what that is?
Raylan Givens: Mm-hmm. People moving out of town?
Johnny Crowder: White people moving to the suburbs.
Rachel Brooks: 'Cause they want to cut grass and have barbecues?
Johnny Crowder: Shit, no. 'Cause they want to get away from black people like you and all the greasers and the asiatics and all the goddamn Mexicans running around infecting the place. But, you know, these are Boyd's words.
Raylan Givens: Johnny. What's your point?
Johnny Crowder: You know what he's doing now, Raylan? He's buying a house in the goddamn suburbs! Up there on Clover Hill, because the man is in love.
Rachel Brooks: You sound like he stole your girlfriend.
Johnny Crowder: Ha! No. He stole Raylan's girlfriend. He stole my job. Oh, but I did get this as a consolation prize for believing all of his bullshit.
Raylan Givens: Thing is, Johnny, you didn't get cut in half from Bo's shotgun 'cause of Boyd. You got shot 'cause that's the shit that happens when you choose to live a life as a small-time asshole.

Boyd Crowder: [to Raylan] You shoulda been on the other side, with me and your daddy. You'd still be able to shoot people, and be an asshole... your two favorite activities.

Ellstin Limehouse: You ever been on a plane, Mr. Crowder?
Boyd Crowder: Why? You plan on taking flying lessons with my money?
Ellstin Limehouse: I've been having this dream. I dream that I'm flyin' this plane. I mean one of them great, big, old suckers. A jumbo jet. And all the passengers is folks from Noble's Holler. Damn near everybody I know and care about's on this thing. I'm at the controls when all of a sudden, something goes terribly wrong. Lights is flashing, buzzers sounding. And we start going down. And I'm fighting to keep it level, and it ain't no use. And I always wake up just before impact, sweating.
Boyd Crowder: While I believe I understand your subtle metaphor, what I don't understand is why you feel the need to tell me.
Ellstin Limehouse: Well I'm telling you so you understand why I'm about to do what I'm about to do.

Raylan Givens: Theo Tonin knows we got Drew. He's not gonna be too happy about that. Meaning we just got to figure out how to get out of Harlan alive.

Decoy [4.11]

Nicky Augustine: Look at you, Mr. Crowder. You're a well dressed man, you got a sense of style, you got your shirt buttoned all the way up to the top. I gotta ask where'd you get all those teeth?
Boyd Crowder: Courtesy of the American taxpayer while serving our great nation in Desert Storm.
Nicky Augustine: Man, I love the way you talk, using forty words when four will do. I'm curious. What would you say if I was about to put forty bullets through that beautiful vest of yours?

Art Mullen: [Tim slams on the breaks] What the hell?! What are you doing?
Tim Gutterson: It's not right.
Art Mullen: What's not right?
Tim Gutterson: One abandoned car beside the road's no big deal, but two so close together, that's weird.
Art Mullen: That's Kentucky.
Tim Gutterson: How bout a third? [points to another up the road]
Art Mullen: What are you thinking? IEDs?
Tim Gutterson: I'm not thinking confetti canons.
Art Mullen: Are you sure about this?
Tim Gutterson: For all I know I'm just having a full-blown PTSD episode.
Art Mullen: You get those a lot?
Tim Gutterson: Only when I'm handling firearms in public.

Tim Gutterson: [calling Colt realizing he's put IEDs in cars to ambush his team] Am I right in saying that you were in the sandbox before Afghanistan?
Colton Rhodes: I am a double winner. Is that why you called, to ask me that?
Tim Gutterson: Oh, why? You busy?
Colton Rhodes: I am in the middle of something.
Tim Gutterson: All right, I'll make it quick. I'm writing a book set in Iraq. There's a chapter where a convey of military police is transporting a criminal, and Lieutenant Dan, he's our main guy, he gets a bad feeling—
Colton Rhodes: Forrest Gump.
Tim Gutterson: Huh?
Colton Rhodes: There's a Lieutenant Dan in Forrest Gump.
Tim Gutterson: Oh shit, you're right. I'll change it. Lieutenant Colt.
Colton Rhodes: I would like a young Gérard Depardieu to play me in the movie. I'm honored.
Tim Gutterson: Well you should be, he's a big guy, a real badass, or he was, he's kind of losing his grip when we meet him, he's lost someone, he's started using dope that he confiscated.
Colton Rhodes: Yeah but then we find out he's kicked again, and anyone who thinks he's in anyway diminished is in for a big surprise.
Tim Gutterson: Yeah, but he's the kind of character might say he's kicked but we all know he's just one broken shoelace away from sayin' "screw it" and picking up again.
Colton Rhodes: How about you have him go into a bar and pick a fight with some rangers and he send a couple of them to the hospital?
Tim Gutterson: It's not a fantasy. Anyway, he gets a bad feeling when they pass an abandoned vehicle, sees a second and a third, so he's thinking IEDs triggered by cell. You ever come across anything like that?
Colton Rhodes: Me, personally? No. But I did hear about this one convoy, couple of Frankensteins and a gun truck on Highway 10. So, the spotter, he calls a halt between the first two cars thinking the Hajis will blow the second if it moves forward, and the first if it tries to go back.
Tim Gutterson: Well, how'd they get out of it?
Colton Rhodes: Yeah, they didn't. Because they were too afraid to move, they just sat there in their vehicles, pssing and shitting in their helmets, too afraid to toss it out the windows on account of possible snipers. Then they ran out of food. They started eating each other till there was only one left, and he blew his brains out. Do you want to know the sad part?
Tim Gutterson: Oh, there's a sad part?
Colton Rhodes: Yeah. Because they were so afraid to move, they never found out whether or not the cars had explosives. So basically, they all died from being pussies.

Nicky Augustine: [to Ava] Why are you talking? Huh? Oh, you don't like that question? Let me ask you another. How many dicks you got to suck to get to the top of the food chain around here? It's got to be a ton of dicks. It's got to be, like, morning, noon, and night. Like, ever since you were 14. It's got to be like, the alarm goes off, "I'm sucking dick. Where's another dick I can suck?" Dick, dick, dick. Go to bed, suck a dick. Dicks, dicks, dicks. It's got to be a ton. I mean, a small-time, blond girl like you, looking for a better life? Plenty of girls like you, but what sets you apart? Extraordinary vacuuming skills.

Nicky Augustine: [to Ava] You really love Boyd, don't you? That ring he got you, where'd he get it from, one of those claw machines at Denny's? He must be good at that machine, 'cause it's hard to get something, you know.

Peace of Mind [4.12]

Raylan Givens: Did you not wake up this morning thinking this was another opportunity to mess up some bad guy's day? I did.

Winona Hawkins: [wanting Raylan to sign paperwork for their baby] It's kind of important that you get it done before she's born.
Raylan Givens: Yes. Listen, it's gonna be the first thing I do— What did you just say? [the office breaks out in applause]
Winona Hawkins: We're having a girl, Raylan. I found out this morning.
Raylan Givens: A girl. Holy shit. Hold on. [office continues to clap for him] Thank you. I'm on the phone. Seriously. [back to Winona] Winona, I don't know shit about girls.
Winona Hawkins: That is so sweet, sayin' it like I don't already know.

Art Mullen: What's the matter with you, Raylan? Not used to positive attention?
Raylan Givens: No, I loved that. Can we continue?
Tim Gutterson: No, the moment's gone.

Colton Rhodes: [lighting a cigarette] Gonna quit tomorrow.
Tim Gutterson: What do you think you're doing?
Colton Rhodes: I'm smoking.
Tim Gutterson: Did you kill my friend?
Colton Rhodes: You know what it's like to be in the shit. Go back there enough times, and bad things happen.
Tim Gutterson: So, you did kill him?
Colton Rhodes: Collateral damage. I'm sorry about what happened to your friend Mark, but I think most of him died somewhere in Kandahar.
Tim Gutterson: Only part I'm concerned about is the one that died here. Last time I'm telling you. Put your weapon on the ground.
Colton Rhodes: [Colt exhales his cigarette smoke] I guess I'll quit today.
[Colt raises his gun; Tim shoots him in the chest]

Boyd Crowder: I believe you dictate the river of fate through your own actions.

Ghosts [4.13]

Ethan Picker: So, out of nowhere, Crowder calls and says he's bringing the marshal, and you just drop everything to play High Noon. You want to explain to me how this makes any sense?
Nicky Augustine: All the shit I've heard about this guy, there's no way I'm saying no to a face-to-face. Plus, maybe he wants to cut a deal.
Ethan Picker: I doubt that.
Nicky Augustine: Well, we'll know shortly.
Ethan Picker: You're not even a little worried he's trying to set us up, maybe even bust me for that shit at the high school?
Nicky Augustine: I might be worried if Crowder wasn't bringing him here.
Ethan Picker: What? You trust Crowder?
Nicky Augustine: I trust him not to hand us up to the feds, yeah.
Ethan Picker: You know, Sammy's already pissed we went after the ex-wife. He wants us to come home now and kiss his new ring. You think it's smart to keep him waiting?
Nicky Augustine: Sammy is a rat-faced bitch boy.
Ethan Picker: He's Theo Tonin's rat-faced bitch boy!
Nicky Augustine: We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you'd popped the marshal in the first place.
Ethan Picker: [chuckles bitterly] Christ.
Nicky Augustine: But instead you let him back you down.
Ethan Picker: He didn't back me down. The cops pulled up.
Nicky Augustine: Well, all I know is, if I'd have been there, he'd never walked out.
Ethan Picker: Oh. And that would have been pointless, Nicky. It would have just drawn heat, as usual.
Nicky Augustine: You think too much. Pay the check.

Boyd Crowder: Now that you mention it, though, I'm not sure you're one to talk about going straight at a man 'stead of what he loves.
Raylan Givens: You love her, huh? Ava?
Boyd Crowder: You have to ask?
Raylan Givens: Love her like how? Like how you loved the Lord and your lovely white skin or how you loved Arlo? I know he meant a lot to you.
Boyd Crowder: You know... [sighs] ...You can know a fella your whole life and not really know him at all. You know what I think, Raylan? I think you're just jealous that I've got to open a present that will never be under your Christmas tree.
Raylan Givens: I think you love anything lets you put your head on the pillow at night believin' you ain't the bad guy.

Boyd Crowder: I count four to one. That hardly seems fair.
Raylan Givens: Which way do you mean?

Ethan Picker: Higher up the mountain, worse the footing gets.
Raylan Givens: Plane crashes, first class always hits the hardest.
Ethan Picker: I learned one thing a long time ago: doesn't pay to be the lead dog.

Raylan Givens: What are you carrying?
Nicky Augustine: Oh, I don't have a gun.
Raylan Givens: Maybe you should get one.
Nicky Augustine: Why? So you can have a reason?
Raylan Givens: You already gave me a reason.
Nicky Augustine: Bullshit. Take one look at you, I know you're not the kind of guy who'd just execute me. It's not who you are. Then you come in here with your bullshit cop threats, knowing that if your bluff gets called, you can always hide behind your badge. I don't have a badge. All I got is my word. So if I say I'm gonna kill your family, I'm gonna kill your family! 'Cause these animals out here, they think they can get over on me, they'll tear me to pieces. You want to know where I'm headed? I'm headed to Detroit to kill Theo's pasty little pussy of a son. But I'll be back for your family. You had a chance to save them this morning, but instead, you took out three of my guys. So the only chance they have now is if you use that Glock on me to end this. If you're not gonna do it, get the hell out of my car.

Season 5


A Murder of Crowes [5.01]

Mike Reardon: Mr. Crowe, a settlement offer of $20,000 has already been made. The U.S. attorney has modified it to three hundred. Do you accept that offer?
Dewey Crowe: No, I do not! After what I've been through? My kidneys and everything? You telling me all I get is $300?
Mike Reardon: $300,000, you nitwit.
[Dewey sits down in stunned silence]
Mike Reardon: I'll take that as a yes.

Wade Messer: Well hey, Raylan.
Raylan Givens: Wade.
Wade Messer: Can I get you a blowjob or something?
Raylan Givens: Just some water.
Wade Messer: I didn't mean me, of course.

Scott Fenton: The idea behind organized crime is that it's supposed to be organized. When people start using chainsaws, that's a sign. And it is not a good sign.

Raylan Givens: You can come back here, and we'll take you in, or swim to Cuba.
Greg Sutter: That old lady just did it. Might work out for you.

Daryl Crowe Jr.: When my daddy, Daryl Senior, died 14 years ago April, he made me promise him on his deathbed I'd keep this family together. Same like he did. No money makes it harder.
Raylan Givens: Mm-hmm. Your daddy didn't die in his bed. He got drunk and flipped his airboat. You told me yourself, the day I took you to prison.

The Kids Aren't All Right [5.02]

Charles Monroe: You got any idea what that thing is worth?
Raylan Givens: What, like 100 bucks?
Charles Monroe: That's a third-model Colt Dragoon used by Confederate General William Mahone.
Raylan Givens: So more than $100?

Charles Monroe: That's Manuela. She keeps the house. She also sautes up a mean iguana, if you're ever in the mood.
Manuela: Is very tender.

Jay: He screwed your daughter?
Raylan Givens: My daughter's in diapers.
Jay: Damn. That must be awfully upsetting, then, huh?

Raylan Givens: First off, whatever transpired between you and those kids gets squashed. No vendetta, no debt. You tell me it's over, and it stays that way.
Rodney "Hot-Rod" Dunham: Would you prefer that I respond point by point or should I wait till the end?

Raylan Givens: You get in the weed business with teenagers, and it's their fault when things go wrong? You the type of fella who walks under a flock of birds, and is surprised when he ends up with shit on his face?
Raylan Givens: Oh I learned a bit. When I was a boy Arlo had this scam stealing mining equipment, shipping it south, trading it for cocaine. A couple of company men got wind of who was ripping them off and they went after Arlo and his crew. They shot up a couple spots including our house. They killed Caspar Johns. Wasn’t with the crew, was just living with us at the time and then this other fellow that Arlo had been  running with since high school. You get what I’m saying? Even before I went to Glencoe and trained to be a dead shot I seen people kill one another and I learned to be ready in case they came after me to do me harm. In other words I’ll kill four of you before you even clear your weapons and I’ll take my chances with the other two. And you see this star? That’s gonna make it legal. Now do we have an understanding here?

Good Intentions [5.03]

Wade Messer: There's a lot of expense in taking care of whores.

Raylan Givens: It's the kind of thing you drop soon as you discover girls. And yet here you are, all growed up, still dinging and donging and don't have the sense to ditch.

Boyd Crowder: Now sometimes being a man means you gotta know when to put your foot down. Well, put your foot down, Dewey Crowe!

Raylan Givens: I hoped you were the kind of man who chooses not to live in the past.
Wynn Duffy: Well, normally I am. It's just that, you know, try to kill me once, shame on you…

Wynn Duffy: You're protecting me from a situation that you created?
Raylan Givens: I can see how'd you'd see it that way if you want to focus on the negative.

Over the Mountain [5.04]

Dewey Crowe: God, I ain't prayed in a while. It's just, I...listen, I ain't fixing to die out here in the woods like some animal. You hear me? That's bullshit. Jesus, if you help me find him, once I kill him, I swear, I'll straighten up. I'll go to church, Sunday school, whatever you want. But, Goddamnit, I got to get this thing done, you understand? I ain't ever asked you for shit!

Raylan Givens: Did it get you?
Tim Gutterson: No, but I think something just came between me and my Calvins.

Albert Fekus: What were you smirking at when I come in?
Ava Crowder: Nothing.
Albert Fekus: Girl, you "nothing" me again, I will smash your face into that toilet till there ain't nothing left to recognize. Now answer my question.
Ava Crowder: I was thinking, aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?

Dewey Crowe: You can't keep me in here, Daryl. This is false imprisonment or some shit.
Daryl Crowe Jr.: So, what, you gonna call the law on me?
Dewey Crowe: Well, supposing I did, you son of a bitch, what then? All that shit you made me do, dragging Messer into the woods to kill him! Why'd you make me do that, huh? Why?!
Daryl Crowe Jr.: You about done with your little hissy fit? Can we talk?
Dewey Crowe: Why did you make me do that?
Daryl Crowe Jr.: I'll tell you why. So I know you a damn Crowe. You're one of us.
Dewey Crowe: I ain't one of you.
Daryl Crowe Jr.: You ain't? So go on and run away like a full-blown bitch. Go ahead. But I'll tell you what—you get out in the world and take to running your mouth about your kin and all the bad shit we done, just remember which one of us pulled that trigger on Messer. Yeah, big man. That was all you, boy. All you. Or you can take the plunge, stay with family, be a part of what the Crowes are building here, reap the benefits of that good loyalty.
Dewey Crowe: Sounds like you're selling me tires.
Daryl Crowe Jr.: Nah, I'm selling you a life, Dewey Crowe. You just got to make a choice.

Daryl Crowe Jr.: Marshal, you know good and well ain't nobody going nowhere. Matter of fact, we came up here to lay down roots. 'sides, if you had good enough reason to run us out of here, you'd have done it already. Ain't that right?
Raylan Givens: Just remember, so when later you're regretting the decision you made, remember I gave you the chance.

Shot All to Hell [5.05]

Boyd Crowder: [to Lee Paxton] People of Harlan County, rich and poor, will marvel at your debasement and venality. They will spit venom when they speak your name. And they will take your suicide as the last pact of a coward. Now your reputation is ruined, your good word worthless, but death will not be the end of your suffering. For generations your children, and your children's children will have a mark against their name, and that will be your legacy.

Art Mullen: Well, see, now you know my name and I know yours, but these two guys, what, am I just gonna have to guess? I'll bet you're Mike. I'll show you I did my homework. I know that you are his hairdresser.
Mike Cosmatopolis: You got it, pops. Step outside, I'll give you a clip.
Art Mullen: Now, that means that you must be, Mr. Picker, right? Ethan Picker. You have a rather noble profile, Mr. Picker. Is that due to your Greek heritage?
Ethan Picker: I got my nose from a surgeon in Beverly Hills.

Elias Marcos: You know why I'm here.
Ethan Picker: 'Cause you're a boot-licking errand boy?
Elias Marcos: You talk to me like that because you know I'm not here to work. If I were, there wouldn't be talking.

Elias Marcos: Let's go.
Art Mullen: I can't let that happen.
Elias Marcos: Then we're in a pickle.
Art Mullen: I'm gonna give you ten seconds to leave, and then I'm gonna shoot you.
Wynn Duffy: FYI, that's kind of a thing with these marshals.
Elias Marcos: You really think you're that good?
Art Mullen: I don't know. I'm getting old. But I'm probably pretty good from this range.
Elias Marcos: Well, we don't really need to make the 6:00 news. Besides, a thing like this has no expiration date.

Daryl Crowe Jr.: So we're clear: you are saying no?
Boyd Crowder: I been accused of being a lot of things. "Inarticulate" ain't one of them.

Kill the Messenger [5.06]

Wynn Duffy: You must be Mr. Yoon.
Mr. Yoon: And how do you know that? Oh, the one wonton among the tortillas?
Boyd Crowder: I would have said "kimchee in the salsa."

Daryl Crowe Jr.: [to Raylan] Got yourself a dark, twisted mind, don't you, Raylan?

Danny Crowe: Carl said he ain't gonna press charges. He said we were up there doing some sex thing, and it was... it was... consens... it was consexual.

Alison Brander: Who are you, really? The guy whose chief punches him in the eye? That runs off to defend the honor of a lady? A guy that has a lady and the ex and the baby daughter all stashed out of state?
Raylan Givens: I guess so. What's your point?
Alison Brander: You are a hero, Raylan. I met enough LEOs to know. I can tell you're a man that would run into a burning building without blinking an eye. Thing is, I think you're the one setting the fire.

Raw Deal [5.07]

Boyd Crowder: [to Johnny] Well, look at you. Even vultures can fly south for the winter.

Mr. Yoon: In all my years of doing business, this is a first. And I don't mean that in a good way.

Chris: Technology to reply to a post is decades away.

Wendy Crowe: [to Raylan] I have to admit I find your blatant abuse of government privilege incredibly sexy.

Boyd Crowder: [to Johnny] You know, what you could never understand is that some men lead and some men follow, and when you can't lead and you refuse to follow, you die alone in the desert.

Whistle Past the Graveyard [5.08]

Dewey Crowe: That's gonna look awful bad, we get pulled over with a load of dead dudes in the truck.
Daryl Crowe: You ain't gotta worry, cousin Dewey. We'll hide 'em underneath all that heroin.

Wrong Roads [5.09]

Raylan Givens: I'm on vacation, actually.
Alex Miller: Vacation? And you thought you'd come to Memphis and kick the hornet's nest, huh?
Raylan Givens: And have some ribs.
Alex Miller: [mocking] And have some ribs. Yeah.

Wynn Duffy: Hi, this is Wynn Duffy in 236. Could you send up another pot of coffee, please? Because this one tastes like my ass on Sunday. Thank you, dear.

Raylan Givens: Miller, would you call this a herd, a gaggle, or a flock of assholes?
Alex Miller: I would call this a United Nations of assholes.
Boyd Crowder: Well, that's funny because we were just discussing ratifying some shit.

Roscoe: "King Lear"? Shakespeare? Basically, Lear split his kingdom in half and gave it to his two daughters, deal being Lear get to hang out and keep 100 knights. They agree, and then later, these two bitch-ass daughters, they change the deal. They like, "well, daddy, what you need with 100 knights? 50, 10, 5? What you need with one?" Lear says, "reason not the need." Hot damn! Reason not the need.
Raylan Givens: Uh-huh. I don't understand what these two are talking about, but I got to admit I'm interested.
Roscoe: Well, in the analogy, we be Lear, and we just want what's rightfully ours, and then we out, never to be seen again. And, well, they the bitches. You can have them and they kingdom.

Art Mullen: [to Raylan] Jesus Christ. Is this real, or has early-onset dementia finally set in, and I'm starting to see you in my waking hours?

Weight [5.10]

Dewey Crowe: This conversation is just you and me.
Boyd Crowder: Hold on, Dewey, I'm gonna put you on speaker phone.

Katherine Hale: Wow, you got yourself caught between the Detroit rock and the shitkicker hard place. Trafficking in weight, like you said you never would. What happened Wynn? Did you finally just get greedy?
Wynn Duffy: [quietly] I don't know what happened.

Dickie Bennett: Alright, Raylan, alright, you win. You wanna find Dewey here's what you do. First of all go to a gas'n'go or whatever and get yourself a map of Kentucky. Follow route 9 southbound with your finger, follow it way way down until you're pointing right at... your asshole, and then what you gonna do is you're gonna take your hand and just go ahead and cram it right up inside. You gotta make sure, Raylan, that you do it in a way so that the rest of you just keeps on following your hand right up your ass, right up inside all that shit you're so full of, Raylan. And then what you gonna do is you're just gonna [whistles] wink out of existence forever.
Raylan: Proud of that one, aren't you?
Dickie Bennett: ...It'll do.

Danny Crowe: I had this buddy that ran a puppy mill in Sarasota, and he got popped for a DUI. He asked me to take care of his puppies. And I found this, this litter of dead puppies. I guess the mom had died when she was giving birth and couldn't take care of the brood. But there was one puppy who was barely alive, and it was Chelsea. And I, I raised her up.

Boyd Crowder: You know, I spend most of my time in the company of criminals. Now one could argue I'm guilty by association, but between me and you, I'm every bit as despicable as they are.

The Toll [5.11]

Boyd Crowder: Mr. Picker, the only explaining I've ever done in my life was to my Mama when she caught me sneaking in after my curfew. And you ain't my Mama. But I'll indulge you with a short answer to your question: Shit happens, Mr. Picker.

David Vasquez: She tell you anything about why she was at Duffy's hotel suite?
Rachel Brooks: [imitating Katherine's accent] "Visiting an old family friend. Is that a crime?"
David Vasquez: Well, not compared to racketeering, conspiracy, and murder, no.

Ethan Picker: Our friends in Mexico are furious about the bullshit that happened in the desert—
Wynn Duffy: I need you to be quiet.
Ethan Picker: —they're this close to sending a goddamn hit squad up here.
Wynn Duffy: I need you to stop.
Ethan Picker: I say we put Boyd Crowder's head in a goddamn box!
Wynn Duffy: [standing] Mr. Picker!

Boyd Crowder: I may not know a lot about a lot of things, but I do know how to blow shit up.

Daryl Crowe Jr.: Just so I'm clear, you're not gonna kill me? 'Cause I was worried for a minute.
Raylan Givens: Oh, be worried.
Daryl Crowe Jr.: Yeah?
Raylan Givens: 'Cause that web of bullshit you spun around yourself to protect yourself? I'm gonna use it to strangle the life out of you and take away everything you got. Then you're gonna wish I'd have blacked you out—with a bullet to the head.
Daryl Crowe Jr.: Well, this feels like one of those "time will tell" deals which, as a free man, I have plenty of. Question is: how much time you got?

Starvation [5.12]

Wynn Duffy: Alberto, was it? Alberto, I'm not one to niggle over management styles, but let's say you would have let me know you were coming, I would have preserved some proof for you. A head, say, or a set of teeth?

Wynn Duffy: My suite is being cleaned. The microwave exploded.
Rachel Brooks: Someone put metal in the science oven?
Tim Gutterson: I finally saw that.
Rachel Brooks: What did you think?
Tim Gutterson: Needs more Jason Statham.

Dewey Crowe: I give you a gift, the anus is on you to take care of it, not just give it away to any old dick face happens along.

Dewey Crowe: This it then, Raylan? No final words, put Dewey Crowe in his place?
Raylan Givens: My advice? Stop talking about yourself in the third person. Makes you sound like a fool.
Dewey Crowe: Third person? This guy? [indicating the driver] Man, I don't understand you.

Raylan Givens: You said you'd help us get him. You didn't get him. So we'll be proceeding to convene a grand jury, bring charges against you as soon as possible.
Boyd Crowder: Are you back to that file bullshit?
Raylan Givens: Bullshit?
[Raylan opens his desk and pulls out a thick file of papers.]
Raylan Givens: There it is. Thick with the names of the suffering and the dead, and many felled by your own hands. A trail of human wreckage you've left rotting in jail cells and cold graves throughout this state. And why? Because they had the poor judgment to believe your lies and follow your tune. Well, it's high time that tune reached a shuddering crescendo.

Restitution [5.13]

Raylan Givens: Say, what's the first thing you ever killed? You're from Florida, right?
Kendal Crowe: Gator, maybe. When I was 11.
Raylan Givens: I was 11, too, or thereabouts. Wasn't a gator, though. Will Hendricks' pig got out of its pen, went feral, started tearing up my mama's vegetable patch. Arlo built the trap, caught it, gave me a gun, said, "get 'er done." You ever see a pig that's gone feral? Nasty. Tusks grow. They get dirty, ill-tempered. They don't look bad from a distance, but get up close, best watch your ass. You hook the gator before you...?
Kendal Crowe: Danny hooked him. Wanted to do it himself, but Daryl said it was my time.
Raylan Givens: Well, there you are, pointing that gun at something that's staring back at you, right? Longer I stood there, the less I wanted to do it. Not that I had a choice. Arlo'd tan my hide if I didn't.
Kendal Crowe: Danny called me a pussy.
Raylan Givens: Ain't about being a pussy, though, is it? No small thing, taking a life. Hell, my hand was shaking so bad, first shot nearly missed. Pig squealing, bucking, spraying blood. Put three more shots just to get it to lay still. I knew I should have felt good about it, but I didn't. Walked home, stepped through the front door, and threw up. That's when Arlo called me a pussy. He beat the shit out of me, too. Started thinking less about what I'd done to that pig and more—about what I'd like to do to Arlo.
Kendal Crowe: Well, did you do it?
Raylan Givens: Not as such. I always wondered, though, if I didn't join the Marshals just to prove something to him what a badass I was. Maybe just to spite him. He hated me being a lawman. And I knew. I knew when I joined that I might have to shoot someone in the line of duty. But first time it happened, god damn if it wasn't the same feeling sick to my stomach. Just kept asking myself if there was something I could have done different short of pulling my gun. What was it like for you?
Kendal Crowe: What, the gator? It's a goddamn dinosaur. Who gives a shit?

Boyd Crowder: Now, some folks say Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth. Well, I promise those folks ain't never partied with Boyd Crowder in Sin City.

Alberto Ruiz: You have good hunting around here?
Boyd Crowder: Not bad. My daddy used to take me and my brother when we was young, but I didn't much care for it. Prefer to hunt animals who have a chance to fight back.
Alberto Ruiz: My father took me as well, to the Sonoran desert.
Boyd Crowder: Ah. Hunting big game, like scorpions, and lizards and whatnot?
Alberto Ruiz: Mostly bighorn sheep and mule deer. We'd spend the morning making our kills, take them back to our campsite, where my father taught me how to skin them. The first cut, you make right down the belly. Bleed the animal, remove the insides, careful not to puncture the bladder. Next, you remove the genitals. Now you are ready to the take the skin. Cut first at the ankle joints, snap the tendons, start to peel back the pelt. The trick is to remove it in one piece. It's easiest when the animal is still warm.
Boyd Crowder: You want me shit my pants, Alberto? 'Cause it seems to me, that'd make your job a hell of a lot more unpleasant. You see, I know real pain. Shit you can't even imagine. Now, you want to put me out of my misery? How 'bout you stop running your goddamn mouth and do whatever it is you got to do.

Daryl Crowe Jr.: You a dirty, rotten, nasty bitch.
Wendy Crowe: Well, I guess we all get the family we deserve, right, Daryl?
Daryl Crowe Jr.: You know good and well I ain't gonna let you walk up out of here with that, right?
Wendy Crowe: What are you gonna do, kill me?
Daryl Crowe Jr.: Mm. Give me that phone, Wendy, or I'm gonna take it, and stick it down your goddamn throat.
Wendy Crowe: Well, that'd be a real ballsy move, wouldn't it, Daryl? [presses a gun to Daryl's crotch] How are you gonna do it without your balls?

Raylan Givens: [standing over a dying Daryl] Didn't I tell you you were gonna wish I killed you? Well, don't you?

Season 6


Fate's Right Hand [6.01]

Boyd Crowder: I'm so hungry, I could eat the ass out of a low-flying duck.

Raylan Givens: Good things happen to those who wait for stupid.
Tim Gutterson: I believe that was in the Sermon on the Mount.

Raylan Givens: [about Dewey Crowe] You know, he once told me he worked at Disney World dressed as Goofy, in a water-skiing show.
Tim Gutterson: Well, some guys just peak too early.

Art Mullen: Yeah, you could kill Boyd. Then you'd be headed down to Florida without a star and a gun. And you might be seeing your daughter through the glass on visitation days at the penitentiary. Or, Raylan, there's another way it goes, where you try and you fail and the bullet finds you.
Raylan Givens: Unlikely.
Art Mullen: I know you think so, but if you'll allow me... You get to be my age, do the job as long as you do... sometimes it just doesn't go your way.

Dewey Crowe: I want to go back. I want it to be like it used to be at the church, when we was Crowder's commandos!
Boyd Crowder: You, me, and Devil.
Dewey Crowe: Yes! And the Pork brothers, giving me no end of shit. The music cranked so loud that we almost blew the roof off that old church. Bombing around in my Cadillac and making war plans and drinking 'shine. Why can't it be like that again, Boyd?

Cash Game [6.02]

Betty: Handsome young man comes to my house, spewing sunshine, offering a ride in his Mercedes... feels like maybe I'm chatting with the devil himself.
John-O: What's this about?
Ty Walker: I come to offer you an opportunity to depart this burdensome homestead, live the rest of your days free as newborn babes.
Betty: Oh, I was right. You are the devil.
Ty Walker: No, ma'am, just a man with a plan.

Choo-Choo: Since I was a kid, folks called me Choo-Choo.
Raylan Givens: Because you like trains?
Choo-Choo: 'Cause when I hit you, it comes hard, it comes fast like a choo-choo train.

Avery Markham: Know what I do, keep my people loyal?
Katherine Hale: Do tell.
Avery Markham: Overpay them. Christmas bonus, Easter bonus, President's Day bonus, Pappy Van Winkle on their birthday. Don't nobody bite this hand.
Katherine Hale: Yeah, well, it must be a little harder to turn a profit, I would imagine.
Avery Markham: There's plenty to go around, and it's a small price to pay for loyalty.
Katherine Hale: All right, but what if one of them did betray you? What would you do then? Cut off a finger the way Grady used to?
Avery Markham: If cutting fingers were enough, Grady would still be alive, wouldn't he?
Katherine Hale: Well, what, then take out an eye?
Avery Markham: An eye? I don't know. One-eyed guy can still see, still get a driver's license, even. Both eyes maybe. That'd be a good start.

Ty Walker: You see what happens if you call me a peacock?

Noblesse Oblige [6.03]

Ty Walker: I'm just a weather vane, Mr. Crowder. I don't make the wind blow. I'm saying, you find a way to counsel patience, desist coming after what doesn't belong to you, and everybody wins town, county, and state. Now, that being said, you insist upon the track thus far set upon, there will be consequences.
Boyd Crowder: You done? Damn, son. You like to talk as much as I do.

Raylan Givens: Earl? You really need me to run down all the "or elses"?
Earl: Actually, I was hoping you'd try grabbing my prick again, see if it goes the same way now I'm paying attention.
Raylan Givens: I ain't gonna grab it. I'm just gonna shoot it off. You understand me, Earl? I'm gonna shoot your dick off.

Avery Markham: Ava, I've known my share of criminals. It's an ugly part of my past that I hope to remedy by investing more wisely in the future.
Ava Crowder: Well, you're off to a bang-up start kidnapping me.
Avery Markham: Wasn't my choice, I assure you.
Ava Crowder: Whose was it, then? [indicating Walker] His?
Avery Markham: It was yours. Come to reconnoiter my place of business, living some fantasy outlaw life, just you and Boyd against the world.
Ava Crowder: Sounds like you know a thing or two about it.
Avery Markham: I know for a woman to survive in this line of work, she's got to be harder than the men, ready to do the things they won't. I know women who have that in them. My question is, are you that kind of woman, Ava? Because if you ain't, then you'll never be more than a token, something that can be threatened or hurt just to keep your man in line.

Avery Markham: Last time I saw you, you were no bigger than minute. Peacocking around your daddy like you thought you was already a full-grown bad man.
Boyd Crowder: I recognize you now, Mr. Markham. That being said, I still don't recall being bounced on your knee. Nevertheless, it, uh, seems that I owe you an apology.
Avery Markham: Like I said, I can't blame you for not remembering.
Boyd Crowder: No, sir. The apology that I owe is for my craven attempt to pilfer that which rightfully belongs to you. As defense, I offer only my ignorance.
Avery Markham: Meaning you thought you were stealing from Calhoun?
Boyd Crowder: Yes, sir. I did.
Avery Markham: And now you know the prize in question belongs to me.
Boyd Crowder: That I do.
Avery Markham: Mm-hmm.
Boyd Crowder: And any, uh, plan that I had for my next attempt should be considered abandoned as foolhardy, not to say unworthy.
Avery Markham: Hmm. I hope you'll understand when I say I don't want to see either of you at the portal again. Next time you want a slice, order in. Have it here in 30 minutes, or it's free. And if I see you in my place of business again I'll kill you. [beat] Come to it, I guess you ain't all that big now. Grown, but still just playing pretend.

Boyd Crowder: Woman, how do you see this playing out in your mind? You think he's not gonna put it together that you were in on ripping him off? Avery Markham's not a man to sit still while someone takes what's his, let them go live the good life somewhere on his dime?
Wynn Duffy: So, you're out, right? That's what you're saying? I mean, let's just set aside all this poetic, down-home, hillbilly bullshit. Bottom line is you're backing down.
Boyd Crowder: Oh, I ain't backing down. I'm gonna rob him. And then I'm gonna stick a bullet in your boyfriend's head.
Katherine Hale: You know what, Boyd? From the moment I met you, I just knew you were the man of my dreams.

The Trash and the Snake [6.04]

Raylan Givens: Your mama asks you to take out the trash, you do as she says, but you see a copperhead on the way out, you don't go back inside, say you didn't do nothing because all she asked was take out the trash. You take out the trash and the snake.
Art Mullen: Didn't your mama ever tell you that there's always another snake?
Raylan Givens: I knew you'd say that.
Art Mullen: Raylan, if you declare war on them all, they're just gonna outbreed you and outlast you—and bring you down for good.
Raylan Givens: You telling me not to do the job?
Art Mullen: No. I'm telling you not to get your ass bit.

Raylan Givens: What do you want to bet that she and Mr. Hutchins didn't die peacefully in their sleep?
Tim Gutterson: No, but it's such a nice thought. It's how I want to go. I'm kidding. I want Sigourney Weaver to choke me out with her thighs.

Dickie Bennett: This is one of them ecstatic visions I've been having of late. All right, all right! Here we go-o-o-o. Mighty spirit!
Raylan Givens: Dickie Bennett, this is archangel Raylan, here to deliver unto thee a loaded-up commissary in exchange for your cooperation in a federal criminal investigation.
Dickie Bennett: Oh! Message received, but I'm afraid what you ask, it's— it's just it's too g-great. It really is. I cannot see a way to answer your call.
Raylan Givens: Search your soul, numbnuts.

Loretta McCready: Somebody please tell me what all you're talking about.
Raylan Givens: The man is making you an offer you can't refuse: sell or he kills you.
Avery Markham: Oh, come on, now. I may make you an offer you can't refuse... but that's because I'm offering you more money than you ever imagined.
Loretta McCready: And if I don't want it at any price?
Avery Markham: Then you'd be a bird so rare as to never before have been sighted.
Raylan Givens: The negotiation has ended. I told you you can't have my land. I'm adding hers to the list.
Avery Markham: I don't see how you can do that, legally speaking.
Raylan Givens: You want to follow that thread, be my guest. Till then, you can put away your suitcase of money.
Avery Markham: Or what? You gonna give me 24 hours to get out of town, Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens?
Tim Gutterson: And he said he didn't do his homework.
Raylan Givens: I'm just saying there's no deal to make here.
Avery Markham: First you turn me down. Now this. What's next? Third time? You gonna tell me that, by the power vested in you, that there's something else I ain't allowed to do? This is still America, last time I checked the flagpole.
Raylan Givens: What's next is entirely based on the next choice you make.
Avery Markham: I think I'll burn one on the way out. Helps me think. You gonna haul me in?
Raylan Givens: No, not for weed. I can assure you of that.

Sounding [6.05]

[Duffy and Mike are playing Scrabble]
Wynn Duffy: "Aplex"?
Mike Cosmatopolis: Yeah.
Wynn Duffy: I'm pretty sure "aplex" isn't a word, Mikey.
Mike Cosmatopolis: Of course it is. "I don't like that guy. He aplexes me."
[Duffy sighs and answers his cell phone]
Wynn Duffy: Yeah?
Trig: He's going. You want me to follow him or not?
Wynn Duffy: Yes, I do. Call me when he lands. [hangs up]
Mike Cosmatopolis: You okay? You look aplexed.

Ty Walker: Permission to speak freely, sir?
Avery Markham: You about to give me an opinion, or a warning, or both? Seems to me I've been perfectly clear about what I expect to transpire down here. Shouldn't be any more up for discussion.

Bob Sweeney: Hell, yeah, I got a badge. And I got balls like Death Stars. Let's do this.

Zachariah Randolph: Now after that '90 collapse over in Joseph's Valley, didn't I hear you swear up and down on your mama's grave that you'd never go in without a good sounding?
Boyd Crowder: I did, indeed.
Zachariah Randolph: Yeah, well, I'm gonna enjoy seeing you go in the deep. All those traps and chutes breaking through and all those rotting supports busting up. Oh, it's gon' be somethin' to see.

[Mundo A.K.A. Choo-Choo has just killed Calhoun Schrier by accident with a too-heavy blow to the head]
Seabass: I said a starter tap!
Choo-Choo: You want him slapped like a little girl, you do it. All right? You ask me, he gets Amtrak-ed.

Alive Day [6.06]

Ava Crowder: You don't have to lie to me, Uncle Zachariah. I'm not a little girl anymore.
Zachariah Randolph: Make it a whole lot easier on me if you was. Tell you the truth, I always found grown-ups to be mystifying. More so myself since I got to be one.

Avery Markham: And who am I supposed to have killed?
Tim Gutterson: Well, we've heard that'd be quite a list. You don't mind, we'll just focus on the last 24 hours.

Choo-Choo: Good thing about people thinking you're dumb is, they tend to give you the benefit of the doubt.
Caprice: What makes you think people think you're dumb?
Choo-Choo: [chuckles] It's all right. Before my "alive day," if I'd met a guy that looks and talks the way I do now, I'd have thought the same thing.
Caprice: You'd be amazed how many guys think that if they talk fast enough, no one'll realize they got nothing to say. I like the way you take your time. It's like all you want is for the other person to understand.
Choo-Choo: [beat] You ever wish things wouldn't have to be the way they are? You know, like, if you close your eyes and open them, things would be different?

Raylan Givens: Wonderful things can happen when you sow seeds of distrust in a garden of assholes.

Ty Walker: Choo-Choo's a rock. He'd never give us up.
Avery Markham: Not on purpose. Feds have got guys that spend their whole lives tying people in knots—
Ty Walker: I'm not— [pauses] Choo-Choo and I were in the sandbox together.
Avery Markham: I know.
Ty Walker: I was in the Humvee right behind his when he got blown up. I.E.D. flipped them over, then landed on our hood. Crushed their gunner like a bug on our windshield. Choo-Choo's in the captain's seat. [laughs bitterly] We got that door open... You wouldn't think anybody could be alive in there. Medics picking splinters of the driver's bones out of his face. He lives through that? No.
Avery Markham: One morning when I was in the Corps, we found a dead Cong who'd stepped in a punji pit in the dark. Thing about punji sticks, they're not meant to kill. A dead soldier reduces the force against you by one, but a wounded soldier slows down a whole unit. Cong used to cover their stakes with human shit, make the wounds infect. But rather than being a drag on his comrades, make them carry him back, this feller just decided to put a gun in his mouth.
Ty Walker: One man dies so the others can live.
Avery Markham: Anybody can run a peacetime command. Real leadership's about making the hard choices.

The Hunt [6.07]

Rachel Brooks: I don't want this guy going all Eric Frein on us, hole up at some derelict airport for weeks while we're out here chasing our own dicks.
Tim Gutterson: Sounds really strange when you say that.
Rachel Brooks: I'm running shit. I get to use the expression.

Ty Walker: I never went to college myself. Joined the army right out of high school. Gave me some notion of fraternity.
Troy: And we thank you for your service. Now, if you're done whipping your army pud in there, I got to shit.
Ty Walker: Begging the question, will your brother over there step in when I split your skull open?

Art Mullen: [to Raylan about his daughter Willa] Oh, my goodness. What a relief. She doesn't look like you. Good for her.

Winona Hawkins: [to Raylan] I'm saying I love you and I miss you and I want you to come home, and I don't care where home is. I don't care if it's here or in Miami or in the hills. It doesn't matter to me. But if you want it, I want you by my side raising our daughter. So, I guess what I'm saying is you can be with me and still be you, if that's something you want.

Ty Walker: [holding two EMTs at gunpoint] "Be on the lookout, bearded sasquatch man, possible gunshot wound", is that right? [kills one EMT] That sound right?!
EMT Abraham: Yes, yes! Jesus!
Ty Walker: Didn't realize they were gonna send me a couple of heroes. All I wanted was that kit patch myself up. See a man I got to see, do a job I got to do. That's all. Then they send me a pair of heroes.
EMT Abraham: He was a hero. Put me in the back, strap me down. I-I won't be able to move or call anyone. And you can take the kit. You can take the kit and get away.
Ty Walker: Yeah, I could do that. But it's been such a day!
[Walker kills EMT Abraham]

Dark As a Dungeon [6.08]

Mortician: [about Raylan's parents] And how about the manner in which they were buried?
Raylan Givens: I wasn't around, but I guarantee you he put her in the cheapest piece of shit available.
Mortician: Likely an unvaulted wooden casket.
Raylan Givens: Mm-hmm.
Mortician: And him?
Raylan Givens: I put him in the cheapest piece of shit available.

Zachariah Randolph: A man died, Boyd.
Boyd Crowder: A man you ain't known a goddamn week!
Zachariah Randolph: Well, I can see you really torn up about it. Real leader of men, ain't ya?
Boyd Crowder: It ain't the first man I've lost doing a job, Zachariah, and the job ain't over yet.

Raylan Givens: Harlan. Hell of a place to make your fortune.
Avery Markham: Fortune? Hell, I'm putting down roots.
Raylan Givens: Tough to do in quicksand.

Raylan Givens: Let's just say you're putting down roots, I'm pulling up. Sick of the past.
Avery Markham: True. Past is a shadow. Always there behind you.
Raylan Givens: In Harlan, shit, it ain't behind you. It's vertical. Dig down another layer, turn up some horror.

Raylan Givens: I been lying to you, Boyd.
Boyd Crowder: Well, now we're getting somewhere.
Raylan Givens: Keeping up the fiction that I got all manner of things tying me to Kentucky things that forestall my moving to Florida. But there is only the one thing: you.
Boyd Crowder: You wanna lean in for a kiss?
Raylan Givens: Is that what you think this is, another one of your love stories?
Boyd Crowder: Oh, well, I do like happy endings.
Raylan Givens: Well, this is one of them classic stories, where the hero gets his man, then he rides off into the sunset.
Boyd Crowder: Or maybe it's like that other classic, where a guy chases a whale to the ends of the Earth, only to drown for his troubles.
Raylan Givens: I got to admit, there's a small part of me that's gonna miss this when it's over.
Boyd Crowder: Well, don't eulogize the past till the future gets its turn.

Burned [6.09]

Boon: When I was just a pup, my mama used to say I tended to leap before I looked.
Loretta MacCready: Well, if you're done looking, now would be a good time to scoot your ass on out of here.

Boon: Name's Boon. Pleased to meet you.
Raylan Givens: I wouldn't rush to judgment on that.

Raylan Givens: You got more balls than sense, you know that, girl?
Loretta MacCready: Ain't that what they say about you?

Loretta MacCready: My fix is the same as yours, Mr. Markham. Promise of legal weed. The difference is, I've been here for generations. You all knew my daddy. [crowd murmuring in agreement] You all know me. Know that I'm Harlan through and through. And so is my partner.
Avery Markham: And who might that be?
Loretta MacCready: The only other soul I know who cares about this place as much as I do: Boyd Crowder. [to the crowd] Every one of you who has been approached about your property, this is my offer. I will give you cash for your land, same as Markham, but the difference is I don't want to move you guys out. Just want to move some seed in. And along with that seed, we bring security and protection now and in perpetuity. Hire the locals to help with the farming, pay it back. You think Avery Markham and his city mousette ain't gonna cut and run win or lose? She look like Harlan to you? Throw in with me, and we'll make Harlan prosperous our own selves. Give this county back to the people the way we all know it should be!

Avery Markham: You know, I don't get you. Give you some of my own money to help you out. 24 hours ago upstairs, I figured you and me are simpatico. I see you're just jerking me around and using me to get Boyd.
Raylan Givens: Don't take it personal. I'm just doing what I gotta do.
Avery Markham: Yeah. That's my plan.
Raylan Givens: What's that?
Avery Markham: Doing what I gotta do.

Trust [6.10]

Ava Crowder: Come on, Boyd, you know Ellstin Limehouse has made a fortune being the man folks can count on in times of trouble.
Ellstin Limehouse: And I recall you yourself have benefited from that on more than one occasion.
Ava Crowder: And on reflection, I wonder if the benefit warranted the cost.

Raylan Givens: Anybody ever tell you should talk less?
Boon: Yeah. One guy.
Raylan Givens: Well, you're young yet.
Boon: Anyway, the matter I wanted your take on: you come across a fella like this, never sat a horse or roped a steer, wants putting on a hat to make him a, a buckaroo. You think it's up to gentlemen like us to disabuse him?
Raylan Givens: You're asking if we're keepers of some kind of flame. I guess my main take is I believe you're overestimating how much you and I have in common.

Raylan Givens: You really think this ends in a trial?
Tim Gutterson: Shit, I hope so. All the work we've done.
Raylan Givens: What I mean is, you really think Boyd's gonna let us take him in instead of going out in a blaze like the outlaw he's spent his whole life trying to be?
Tim Gutterson: Well, I guess that'll be up to him. [pointedly] Won't it, Raylan?

Avery Markham: You ever notice how the necessities of our line of work weigh heavy on your conscience?
Boon: Always seemed to me, as far as conscience goes, the sweet spot is you either be poor enough you can't afford to have one or rich enough you can afford to hire someone to carry the weight.

Boyd Crowder: [to Markham about Katherine] Oh. Uh, ripping you off that was her idea from the jump. Payback for you murdering her husband. I just, uh, [laughing] I just thought you ought to know!

Fugitive Number One [6.11]

Avery Markham: Well, I've always loved you, Katherine. I just don't trust you.
Katherine Hale: Well, I accepted your proposal, Avery. Would it be so bad for the two of us to live together, not trusting each other, just like everybody else in the whole wide world?

Mike Cosmatopolis: [to Duffy] This isn't just about some code! You were as close to family as I ever had. I believed in you, Wynn. End of the day, you're a rat. And rats get exterminated, period. And I hate being called "Mikey"!

Raylan Givens: You know, it don't bother me much running into a cop from this town that's bent to shit. I grew up around here. Kinda expect it now and then. What irritates me is when you call 'em on it, and they give you this look like, "how dare you insinuate I'm a piece of shit tarnishing my badge?" I see you doing the math, whether you're gonna tolerate the insult. But you should know, one of your co-workers is in the hospital with brain bleed, and this boy's brother's dead, so you might wanna factor them items into the equation before you decide what you're gonna do next.
Crosley: Number one, I don't like your tone. Number two, that badge don't mean shit. And number three, this boy's been bonded out fair and square. Matter of fact, I was just about to call the judge.
Raylan Givens: The marshal service have spent a lot of time and effort apprehending a fugitive that's now out on the run, and lives are in danger because of it, so every time you open your mealy mouth to lie, I think of that, and I start picturing how you'd look without any of your goddamn teeth.

Katherine Hale: You're being awfully flip for someone who's about to die.
Wynn Duffy: What do you want me to say, Katherine? Yes, I ratted out Grady to Simon Poole and, yes, I killed Simon Poole because Simon Poole was gonna rat me out to Grady. The life we chose, huh?
Katherine Hale: Why kill Grady?
Wynn Duffy: What do you care? You were schtupping Markham. You think about it, I did you a favor.
Katherine Hale: Yeah. Yeah, maybe you did. But Wynn, Grady was my husband. He was my partner. And here's how it works. You protect your partner, and you avenge them against people who do them wrong. That is something I strongly believe.

Art Mullen: You got 48 hours, Raylan. That's all I can give you.
Raylan Givens: 48 hours, bullshit. Who you got coming after me? Everybody?
Art Mullen: You got too high an opinion of yourself. Of course, you always have. Everybody's out looking for Boyd. I'll be the one coming after you.

Collateral [6.12]

Avery Markham: [to Katherine Hale's corpse] I always scoffed at people talking to loved ones who'd moved on. Seemed impractical to me. Can't hear you. They're gone. And I'm a practical man. Except when it comes to you, it seems. Revenge, Katherine. What did you in? Damn it, I told you I would get Duffy! Why didn't you trust me? For once, why couldn't you just do what you were told to do? I'll always love you, Katherine, but you need to know. I may be talking to a ghost, but I am still a practical man. I'd love to gut Wynn Duffy from nose to tail, but I have got to go and get my goddamn money.

Wynn Duffy: Raylan Givens, Boyd Crowder, and Avery Markham are soon to converge, Mr. Vasquez. Like the aligning of the planets, if those planets carried guns and hated my guts. I don't ever plan on returning to Kentucky. May I?
David Vasquez: I just have one last question. You know, for me. Off the record.
Wynn Duffy: Sounds sexy.
David Vasquez: You know, I have a-a stack of files this tall. Sits on my desk. It's got all kinds of witness interrogation and, um, surveillance records and info from snitches about who killed Simon Poole 14 years ago. And it all adds up to jack shit. So I just want to know, between you and me, who really did it? Who killed my boss?
Wynn Duffy: Between you and me, Mr. Vasquez, I really and truly don't know.

Hagan: Cold out here. Can feel it.
Boyd Crowder: Ya, I was just thinking the same thing.
Hagan: I appreciate the lie, Mr. Crowder. But we both know what you was thinking. Loose end and all.
Boyd Crowder: You know my mind? Now, maybe I was gonna take your keys, let you walk.
Hagan: [scoffs] So you could shoot me in the back? You're gonna have to look me in the eye, you pull that trigger. Nah, I knew the minute you stepped in my cab I was gonna be staring down the black hole of your gun, cut me down like the plague you are.
Boyd Crowder: Well, I got to say, you did do a pretty good job all that smoke you were blowing up my ass.
Hagan: Ain't no smoke. But I will say this. Stories of outlaw legends, they ain't passed down by the families of the murdered.
Boyd Crowder: Well, I don't give a shit about "the Ballad of Boyd Crowder". I'll be dead and gone when that song gets sung.
Hagan: Old boy by the name of Hut McKean mean anything to you?
Boyd Crowder: Let me guess. I killed him, my men killed him, my dope killed him, or my daddy killed him? Next thing that comes out of your mouth is, "how do you sleep at night, Boyd Crowder?" Well, do you know how? 'Cause I know who I am. Do you? You're a slave, disenfranchised, don't even know it. You drive your shitty truck to your shitty house, live out your shitty life. You think you're better than me 'cause you play by the rules? Whose rules? My life is my own.
Hagan: You ain't even heard a word I said.
Boyd Crowder: I don't give a shit about what you said. I'm an outlaw.
[Boyd kills Hagan]

Boyd Crowder: Goddamn, Raylan! How you know I wasn't some boy scout looking for his tent?
Raylan Givens: Your teeth glow in the dark.
Boyd Crowder: You shot unprovoked. How am I supposed to take that?
Raylan Givens: As me aiming to kill you.
Boyd Crowder: Well, it's only getting colder. So what say the next time the moon peeks out from behind those clouds, we show it down?
Raylan Givens: Now you're talking.
Boyd Crowder: Only problem is, Raylan. I don't know where you are.
Raylan Givens: I don't know where I am, either.
Boyd Crowder: Why you want to kill me so bad, Raylan? You don't even know why. "Boyd Crowder must die!" That's just the lie you tell yourself, wanting to win.
Raylan Givens: You are the world-conquering emperor of lies, the biggest reserved for yourself.
Boyd Crowder: Just say it, Raylan. "I want to win!"
Raylan Givens: [chuckles] How about, "I want the money"? Shit. You want to kill her, Boyd. You want to kill the woman who stole your money, shot you, and left you for dead.
Boyd Crowder: You don't know what's in my heart.
Raylan Givens: What heart?
Boyd Crowder: You don't know what's in your own heart. You've given up everything you are so that you could murder me.
Raylan Givens: I cross the line with my eyes wide open.
Boyd Crowder: Well, whose eyes you gonna see when you kill me, Raylan? Your daddy's?
Raylan Givens: Not anymore.
Boyd Crowder: Your baby girl's? Imagine the look on her face the day she realizes, "my daddy spent his whole life trying to walk the line and failed".
Raylan Givens: She'll live her life the way everybody does: on her own.
Boyd Crowder: Are you sure you don't want me to kill you, Raylan, keep you a hero? That makes for a hell of a bedtime story.
Raylan Givens: This is the only story here tonight.
Bob Sweeney: [in the distance] Help!
Boyd Crowder: You don't think that's Bob, do you?
Raylan Givens: Why would that be Bob?
Boyd Crowder: Well, I shot him a couple times down at the trail head. I think he might still be alive. You ought to go run down there and see if you can't help him.
Raylan Givens: Bob can take care of himself.
Boyd Crowder: Well, hell, Raylan. Then I have already won.

[finding Derrick Waters mortally wounded]
Avery Markham: What the hell is this?
Boon: Yeah, he tried to pull on me.
Avery Markham: You just gonna let him lay there and bleed?
Boon: Was I supposed to take him to the hospital?
[Markham kills Derrick]
Avery Markham: Hope he wasn't someone dear to you.
Loretta McCready: Just someone I paid to watch my back.
Avery Markham: Money not well spent, I'd say.

The Promise [6.13]

Boyd Crowder: Goddamn Raylan, your timing sucks!
Raylan Givens: So I've been told.
Boyd Crowder: I'd ask you the number for a couples' therapist, Raylan, but I don't think you're any better at this than I am.
Raylan Givens: I don't suppose that's your blood on you there.
Boyd Crowder: That please you? Somebody show up and do your dirty work for you?
Raylan Givens: Well, Boyd, I don't care how it gets done, as long as it gets done.
Boyd Crowder: Well, I guess, in that case, you ought to pick up where we left off in the woods, Raylan.
Raylan Givens: There is another way.
Boyd Crowder: What's that? I pull, you put me down?
Raylan Givens: Either way, I am going to put you down.
Boyd Crowder: Well, Raylan, here's the problem. See, I don't have any more bullets in my gun.
Raylan Givens: [Kicks a gun over] Try that one. Ava, now would be a good time to get out of the way.
Boyd Crowder: Raylan, you mind if I ask Ava a question before we do this?
Raylan Givens: Knock yourself out.
Boyd Crowder: Why? We had the money. We were home free.
Ava Crowder: Honestly, Boyd? I put myself in your shoes. I did what I thought you would do.
Boyd Crowder: I ain't doing it, Raylan.
Raylan Givens: Ya you are.
Boyd Crowder: No, I ain't.
Raylan Givens: You are gonna to raise that gun, and we are gonna end this.
Ava Crowder: Raylan!
Raylan Givens: You stay out of this.
Boyd Crowder: I ain't gonna pull on you, Raylan. So, you go and do whatever it is you're meant to do. 'Cause someday I am gonna get out. And when I do, I'm gonna kill her, Raylan. And then, I'm gonna come and I'm gonna kill you. So what's it gonna be, Raylan?

Ava Crowder: I can tell you where the rest of the money is. Almost nine million dollars, Raylan.
Raylan Givens: You're trying to bribe a federal officer now?
Ava Crowder: I'm just wondering if there's still a deal to be made.
Raylan Givens: No. No deals, no outs. I'm sorry, Ava.
Ava Crowder: Why didn't you just kill him? You heard him. You know there ain't a cell that can keep him. What's it prove, letting him live?
Raylan Givens: ...Maybe nothing.

Raylan Givens: Well, I hope you get someone at this desk that's less of a pain in the ass.
Tim Gutterson: Not likely there's someone who's more of a pain in the ass. I just hope it's someone who can keep up.

Raylan Givens: I hear you're preaching again, gathering a flock.
Boyd Crowder: Just spreading the word of my calamitous fall and subsequent rebirth in the light of the Lord, Raylan.
Raylan Givens: You know you're repeating yourself, right?
Boyd Crowder: Raylan Givens, I know you have never believed a word that has come out of my mouth, though I have harbored the secret hope that you have nevertheless enjoyed hearing them.

[Last lines of the series]
Boyd Crowder: Tramble Penitentiary is a long way from Miami, Raylan. Now, you could have called the warden. Could have sent word through my lawyer.
Raylan Givens: You asking why I came? Thought it was news that should be delivered in person.
Boyd Crowder: That the only reason? After all these long years, Raylan Givens, that's the only reason?
Raylan Givens: Well, I suppose if I allow myself to be sentimental, despite all that has occurred there is one thing I wander back to.
Boyd Crowder: We dug coal together.
Raylan Givens: That's right.


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