Kappa Mikey

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Kappa Mikey (2006-2008) is an American animated sitcom created by Larry Schwarz, about a teenage actor from Cleveland, Ohio who wins a scratch-off card contest and a trip to Japan to star in the country's formerly popular anime series, "LilyMu." As a result, the show becomes number one in the ratings, and Mikey becomes Japan's biggest anime star.

Kappa Mikey was marketed as "the first anime to be produced entirely in the United States", according to press releases from MTV, Nicktoons Network, and various other sources, as the term anime in English is generally reserved for animation originally produced for the Japanese market. It uses Japanese animation and culture as inspiration for its concept, rather than being "true" anime. As a matter of fact, the series is a homage/parody of Japanese anime.

Season 1 (2006–07)[edit]

The Lost Pilot[edit]

Ozu: This is for you.
(Mikey opens the box and sees a pack of Kappa Mikey trading cards)
Mikey: Cards?...Mikey Simon cards!
Ozu: Let's just keep this between you and me.

Simon: Look, kid. I'll make this short because I don't care about hurting your feelings. YOU...CANT...ACT!
Mikey: Uh, did you see the headshots?

The Switch[edit]

[Mikey calls from his home, and his parents answer the phone]

Ms. Simon: Hi, you've reached the Simon residence. If your message is for Ms. Simon, press 1.
Mr. Simon: And if it's for me, Mr. Simon, press 2.
Ms. Simon: And if you're our only child in Japan and you're calling 'cause you're all alone in a big empty room and you miss the comforting sound of another human voice, stay on the line as we read from a list of words chosen at random from the dictionary.
Mr. Simon: "Vernacular."
Ms. Simon: "Flibbertigibbet."
Mr. Simon: "Mortgage."
Ms. Simon: "Pedal."
Mr. Simon: "Disenfranchise."

[Mikey hangs up]

Mikey: Guess it's just you and me tonight, Mirror.
Mirror: Speak for yourself. I have plans.

[The mirror closes itself up]

Mikey Impossible[edit]

Guano: You didn't destroy Ozu's bonzai tree with a samurai sword did you?
Mikey: Uhhh... kinda.
Mitsuki: Mikey, Ozu's gonna kill you!
Gonard: He'll send you back to America!
Guano: He'll cancel the show!
Mikey: I'll never walk on the moon!

[Mitsuki, Gonard, and Guano all give confused looks to Mikey]

Mikey: What? It's been on my mind.

Mikey: Okay, there has to be a way to replace that stupid bonsai!
Gonard: It's 500 years old!
Guano: Listen, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a botanist who knows a wizard who knows a magical princess who knows a...
Mitsuki: I just ordered one on Tree Trade.
Guano: But I... always Tree Trade!

Ship of Fools[edit]

Mikey: When I will get the game I will be like [does game stuff , and then suddenly he bumps into a fake mikey]
Mikey: Sorry 'bout that!
Fake Mike: No worries my man.
[each Mikey walks away and look to each other, and the fake Mikey goes to Mitsuki, Lily and Guano]
Mitsuki: There you are Mikey!
Fake Mikey: Oh? Oh yeah Here I am! Mikey Simon.
Lil: Why are you wearing sunglasses?
Fake Mikey: Because your beauty is blinding. [Lily likes what he said, and Mitsuki gets a bit angry]

Fake Mikey: Say , how bout some ice cream? I know this jord next door .. if you're interested?
Mitsuki: You don't want the new video game?
Fake Mikey: Video games are for kids!
[Lily and Mitsuki are shocked]
Fake Mikey: Now who want ice creams shaped in clowns?
Guano: I do! [raises hand]
Fake Mikey: Not this time pal. And shine your shoes kid, you look like a mess. [walks away]
Guano: I .. don't even have shoes'

Saving Face[edit]

Gonard: Relax Mikey, it's just a dimple.
Guano: Not a dimple, Gonard. A pimple.
Gonard:.....You're a monster!!!

Lily: Be honest, Mitsuki. Did I lose my endorsement to Socky because I'm not beautiful anymore?
Mitsuki: That's crazy! You look great! Doesn't she, mirror?
Mirror: Looking great, Gonard.

The Fugi-Kid[edit]

Prosecutor: Ozu, do you think Mikey stole the coat?
Ozu: If Mikey says he didn't take the coat, I believe him.
Prosecutor: But didn't Mikey destroy your precious 500 year old bansai tree, then lie about it?
Ozu: Yes! [voice building with anger]
Prosecutor: And did he buy a pirated video game when you told him not to?
Ozu: Yes! [saying very angrily]
Prosecutor: And didn't he reveal Lilymu's secrets to the press?
Ozu: Yes! [saying with fury as he catches on fire]
Mikey: That was a good one.
Prosecutor:Let the records show that Ozu is surrounded by flame.
[Yes Man douses Ozu with an extinguisher]

(It has been proven that Mikey was framed, but the police finds him in Lilymu Towers. The gang are all in Gonard's apartment.)
Gonard: Friends stick together. (outside to the police) Mikey's with us! If you arrest him, you have to arrest all of us!
Detective: Fine. You're all under arrest.
(Mikey, Lily, Mitsuki and Guana slap their foreheads in disbelief)
Gonard: You'll have to come and get us!
Detective: Fine. We'll come and get you.
(Mikey, Lily, Mitsuki and Guana slap their foreheads in disbelief)
Gonard: Take the elevator! From my experience, it's faster.
Detective: Fine. We'll take the elevator.
(Mikey, Lily, Mitsuki and Guana slap their foreheads in disbelief)

Mikey Likes It[edit]

Gonard: (while under a fallen tower of ice) I think I broke one of my livers.
Lily: You only have one liver.
Gonard: How many do I need to live?
Lily: One.
Gonard: ...I'm in trouble.

Mikey: (sees a pile of rotting garbage) Ew. Good luck recycling that.
(Garbage goes through a machine and comes out as a bouquet of roses)
Mikey: So that's where those come from.

Easy Come, Easy Gonard[edit]

Guano: I'm not a doll!
Mr. Tatami: That's what all our dolls are programmed to say.
Guano toys: I'm not a doll! I'm not a doll! I'm not a doll! (repeatedly)

Lily Meow[edit]

Ozu: What should we do with the cat?
Lily: Fire him!
Mitsuki: Deport him!
Cat Burgler: May I suggest a stir fry?

Cat Burglar: You know the expression, 'There's only one way to skin a cat'? Actually, there's only one way, with this. (Pulls out a bizarre looking machine with a hook, knife, sickel, and another blade all spinning simultaneously)


Mikey: It's true, I did it.

Mikey: Anyway, After the game I picked up Gonard. We ran into a little trouble on the way to Ozu's but it was nothing we couldn't handle.
Mikey: (In flash back) Those Aliens have been tailing us since Montoya Blvd.
Gonard: (In flash back) I'm on it! {Fires lazer)
Mikey: (In flash back) Wooooo ha ha ha!
(end of flashback)
Gonard: (Hand on heart) True Story.

The Good, the Bad, and the Mikey[edit]

Mikey: W'ever
Guano: Mikey, you have to do what the script says!
Mikey: Script is just a prison, made of words.
Ozu(later):You must go back to being the old Mikey and be a good example for kids.
Mikey: W'ever.
Ozu: You have to do what I say! I'm your boss!
Mikey: Boss is just a prison, made of skin.
Ozu: That dosen't make any sense!
Mikey: Well, not to a fossil like you.

Sumo Of All Fears[edit]

Lost in Transportation[edit]

Beef: You ain't going nowhere.
[an alarm sounds]
Gang member: Grammar police! You aren't going anywhere.
Beef: Man, the Grammar Police is always doggin me...

Ozu: [to Lily] Have you talked to Mitsuki? Did she find Mikey?
Lily: Not yet, but Gonard says he has a back up plan
Gonard: (to the children) Maybe one day, you'l all be supeheroes when you grow up. Isn't that right, Mikey?
[A cat is dressed as Kappa Mikey and starts attacking Gonard]

Big Trouble in Little Tokyo[edit]

Gonard: Rurr Rurr!
Ozu: Very Good!
[Beast Gonard grabs Ozu]
Ozu: Very Bad!

The Phantom of the Soundstage[edit]

Battle of the Bands[edit]

Yes Man: There's no going back now! Robot: I know, I know...

La Cage Aux Mikey[edit]

Lily: Well, if you really are Mikey's parents, then you must know a lot about him.
Guano: When's Mikey's birthday?
Gonard: What's Mikey's name?
Mitsuki: (mimical gestures while an accordian plays in the background)

Reality Bites[edit]

Gonard (going through a photo album): This is me wrestling aligators. Oh, and this is me playing ping-pong on the moon. And this is when I invented penicillin at the prom.
Mikey: These are all just you holding sandwiches.
Gonard: Jealous?

Guano: Can I say something? I think Lily's a big fake! With her fake being nice for the camera, and her fake pancakes, and her fake eyebrows!

Lily: This whole show is fake! This isn't even my real room! It's a set! Guano: Lily's so full of herself! Plus, she's kind of has a mustache. Lily: This isn't the confession room!

A Christmas Mikey[edit]

Mikey: Gonard! You're not evil!
Gonard: Thanks, I've been using a new deoderant.
Ozu: Eat the stocking... EAT IT! (shoves christmas stocking in Yes-man's mouth)

With Fans Like These[edit]

Gonard: Sorry I'm late; I had to get beat up by some nerds. Ready?
Lily: Yeah. Remember, you're good cop, I'm bad cop.
Gonard: Got it. So, Guano, how would you like a punch in the gut?
Lily: [Through teeth] Gonard! Good cop!
Gonard: I mean, how would you like a kiss...in the gut?

[Guano looks confused.]

Lily: [Shouting] You're gonna do our subliminal messages or else!
Guano: [Angry] Or else what?
Gonard: [Holding a small harp] Or else I'm gonna sing you the sweetest love song you ever heard!

[Singing] Guano! Sweet Guano! [Guano looks horrified.]

Gonard: Fuzzy little guy I love so much,
Jewel in the chest,
So fun to touch!
Guano, sweet Guano...
Guano: Uh...
Gonard: Guano, sweet Guano! Corazón bo bo bo...

Big Brozu[edit]

Brozu (to Lily): Your daddy must be a doctor, cuz you are the sickest girl I ever saw.
Brozu (to Mikey): I thought we waz tight!
Mikey: We were tight, but I gotta do this bro. . . for my homezees, and for Ozu!

The Man Who Would be Mikey[edit]

Man: Hey, my newspaper!
Ozu: Hey, my Yes Man!

Mikey: This should do the job.
Man: Beautiful, sword eye, this called the Dragon's Spike, pops you heard the legend.
Mikey: Of course, so this is what they use to stop Manzilla.
Man: Now, the Dragon's has been a history of dark and TWISTED!
Mikey: Oh, the Dragon's Spike, I thought you said the Dragon's Bike, anyway I'm sure no one would mind if I take her out for a little spin.
Man: (laughs evily) No one will not pull it from the stone. Thousands of tribe it all it fails, the grass, the blade is to...
Mikey: (pulls the blade out) See ya later.

Uh Oh Guano[edit]

Gonard: Mikey, to make someone less popular all you have to do is steal their belt.

(Yoshi walks by, his pants fall down)

Yoshi: My trousers!
Gonard: (chuckling and holding up Yoshi's belt) That'll teach him to look at my doughnut.

Mikey: Maybe I'll even be on Star Talk. The show where stars talk.
Lily: The only show you'll be on is America's Next Top Weirdo.
Mikey: Don't get my hopes up.

(talking about Butts, the currency of Buttstonia)

Gonard: Look, look at the pretty Butts.
Mitsuki: That's... okay.
Gonard: Touch them, touch my Butts! Touch my stinkin' Butts!

Sergie: I have earned my fortune. It is American dream.
Lily: This is Japan!
Sergie: It is Japanese dream then.

Like Ozu, Like Son[edit]

Gonard: M...O...G!

LaFemme Mitsuki[edit]

The Oni Express[edit]

Guano: Ozu is world's strongest man!

Season 2 (2007–08)[edit]


The Bracemaster[edit]

Hog Day Afternoon[edit]

Mikey at the Bat[edit]

Free Squiddy[edit]

Go Nard Hunting[edit]

Mikey, Kappa[edit]

Script Assassin[edit]

Mitsuki Vanishes[edit]

The Masked Tanuki[edit]

Back To School[edit]

Manic Monday[edit]

Mikey's Place[edit]


Night of the Werepuff[edit]

The Karaoke Episode[edit]

Mikey's Memoirs[edit]

Seven From LilyMu[edit]

Mikey and the Pauper[edit]

The Clip Show[edit]

Tin Putt[edit]

Live LilyMu[edit]

(Mikey puts farting powder on Gonard's ice cream, pretending it is sprinkles)

Mitsuki: Ooooh! Mint chip, my favorite!
Mikey: Actually, this is really for Gonard.
Mitsuki: One bite couldn't hurt.
Mikey: Come on Mitsuki. Do you really need the carbs?
Mitsuki: I'll take my chances. (Mitsuki tastes the ice cream) Mmmmm!
Speakerphone: Places everyone. Broadcasting is in less than one minute.
Mikey: Uh oh.

Mitsuki Butterfly[edit]

Mikey: Mitsuki, help!
Dadzuki: I'm coming Mikey!
Mikey: Wow, (Dadzuki lifts him up) you're hands are strong and hairy. Thanks, Mitsuki, you're a lifesaver.
Dadzuki: Not so fast! You see, I'm not Mitsuki at all.
Mikey: Huh?
Gonard, Lily, and Guano: Huh?
Dadzuki: Yes, it is I Dadzuki, the father of Mitsuki.

(Mikey, Gonard, Guano, and Lily gasps)

Fashion Frenzy[edit]

The Wizard of Ozu[edit]

External links[edit]

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