Kappa Mikey

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

Kappa Mikey is an American animated sitcom created by Larry Schwarz, who chose 4Kids Entertainment as the worldwide licensing, marketing and official promotional agent of the series. The show is Nicktoons Network's first original half-hour series, bought during the same period as other Animation Collective series such as Three Delivery and Speed Racer: The Next Generation, as well as Flash shows from other studios, such as Edgar & Ellen and The Secret Show, though the latter was made from BBC. The series premièred on February 25, 2006 and ended on September 20, 2008. The series is MTV's first global acquisition, and was available on iTunes until 2009.

Kappa Mikey was marketed as "the first anime to be produced entirely in the United States", according to press releases from MTV, Nicktoons Network, and various other sources, as the term anime in English is generally reserved for animation originally produced for the Japanese market. It uses Japanese animation and culture as inspiration for its concept, rather than being "true" anime. As a matter of fact, the series is a homage/parody of Japanese anime.

Season 1[edit]

The Switch[edit]

Yes Man: Housewarming present!
Ozu: A window.

[Mikey calls from his home, and his parents answer the phone]
Ms. Simon: Hi, you've reached the Simon residence. If your message is for Ms. Simon, press 1.
Mr. Simon: And if it's for me, Mr. Simon, press 2.
Ms. Simon: And if you're our only child in Japan and you're calling 'cause you're all alone in a big empty room and you miss the comforting sound of another human voice, stay on the line as we read from a list of words chosen at random from the dictionary.
Mr. Simon: "Vernacular."
Ms. Simon: "Flibbertigibbet."
Mr. Simon: "Mortgage."
Ms. Simon: "Pedal."
Mr. Simon: "Disenfranchise."
[Mikey hangs up]

Mikey: Guess it's just you and me tonight, Mirror.
Mirror: Speak for yourself. I have plans.
[The mirror closes itself up]

[Mitsuki watches as Lily and Mikey are loudly arguing with each other outside of Ozu's apartment. Ozu comes out.]
Ozu: [annoyed] What are you doing in front of my door?
Yes Man: Ozu needs Ozu Time!
Lily: [pointing at Mikey] Ozu, Mikey is like the messiest, most inconsiderate human being ever!
Yes Man: He is a star that shines too bright!
Mikey: *She's* the inconsiderate one. She's always nagging me like, "Mi-key, don't eat meals in the shower."
[Lily starts getting mad]
Mikey: "Mikey, don't feed the plants people food."
Mikey: She's the worst roommate!
Mitsuki: I just keep that diary as a joke!
[Everybody stares at Mitsuki and crickets chirp; Mitsuki floats away into the elevator]
Ozu: I understand. Very well. Mikey, you can no longer live with Lily and Mitsuki.
[Lily laughs evilly to herself while Mitsuki starts to cry]
Ozu: Lily and Mitsuki will have to move out!
Mikey: Yes!
[Lily starts growling]
Mikey: I mean... ohh?
Mitsuki: Wait! What about us?
Ozu: You will live somewhere else!
[Gong bongs]
Ozu: Somewhere worse!
Lily: You've GOT to be joking! There aren't even any other rooms in the building!
Ozu: Oh, we'll figure something out.
[Dramatic music plays]

Guano: [spots the key on Gonard's butt; pointing at the key] Gonard! The key! It's stuck to your butt!
Gonard: Huh?! Where?!
[Gonard starts spinning around in circles trying to see the key and starts spinning Guano around too and Guano starts screaming]

Mikey Impossible[edit]

Guano: You didn't destroy Ozu's bonzai tree with a samurai sword did you?
Mikey: Uhhh... kinda.
Mitsuki: Mikey, Ozu's gonna kill you!
Gonard: He'll send you back to America!
Guano: He'll cancel the show!
Mikey: I'll never walk on the moon!
[Mitsuki, Gonard, and Guano all give confused looks to Mikey]
Mikey: What? It's been on my mind.

Lily: Stupid boss awards! Stupid party! Stupid Mikey with his STUPID BONSAI TREE AND HIS STUPID DIAGRAM WITH OZU'S APARTMENT!
[Suddenly, Lily realizes something]
Lily: Mikey! He's trying to switch Ozu's bonsai tree! When I tell Ozu, Mikey's finished! [laughs evilly]

Mikey: I'm sorry about the cameraman.
Ozu: Cameraman? What cameraman?
[The scene switches to Yoshi, who is still standing in the same spot covered in poisoned spines]
Yoshi: Okay, keep calm.

Robot #1: Answer my riddle to pass. What has 4 legs in the--
[Mikey walks past anyway]
Robot #2: What?! He didn't answer the riddle!
Robot #1: [deep voice] Don't start, Steve!

Guano: Everyone remember their assignments? I'll go deactivate the alarm!
Mikey: I'll switch the broken bonsai with the new one!
Gonard: I'll go make a sandwich in the kitchen!

[Lily's cellphone rings]
Lily: Lily speaking.
Mitsuki: [deep voice] Hello, Lily. My name is Mr. Suzuki.
Gonard: And I'm Mr. Tadoshiwaroshikopentaru... waki-san. You can call me "Mr.?"

Mikey: Okay, there has to be a way to replace that stupid bonsai!
Gonard: It's 500 years old!
Guano: Listen, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a botanist who knows a wizard who knows a magical princess who knows a...
Mitsuki: I just ordered one on Tree Trade.
Guano: But I... always Tree Trade!

Ship of Fools[edit]

Mikey : When i will get the game i will be like (does game stuff , and then suddenly he bumps into a fake mikey) Mikey : Sorry Bout That !

Fake Mikey : No Worries My Man !

(each mikey walks away and look to each other , and the fake mikey goes to mitsuki and lily and guano)

Mitsuki : There you are mikey !

Fake Mikey : oh ? Oh yeah Here i am ! Mikey Simon

Lily : Why are you wearing sunglasses ?

Fake Mikey : Because Your Beauty is Blinding (lily likes what he said , and mitsuki gets a bit angry)

Fake Mikey : Say , how bout some ice cream ? i know this jord next door .. if you're intrested ?

Mitsuki : You dont want the new video game ?

Fake Mikey : Video games are for kids !

  • lily and mitsuki shocked*

Fake Mikey : Now who want ice creams shaped in clowns ?

Guano : I do ! *raises hand*

Fake Mikey : Not This Time Pal , And Shine your shoes Kid , You Look A Mess *Walks Away*

Guano : I .. dont even have shoes

Saving Face[edit]

Socky: Stay socky!

Gonard: Relax Mikey, it's just a dimple.
Guano: Not a dimple, Gonard. A pimple.
Gonard:.....You're a monster!!!

Lily: Be honest, Mitsuki. Did I lose my endorsement to Socky because I'm not beautiful anymore?
Mitsuki: That's crazy! You look great! Doesn't she, mirror?
Mirror: Looking great, Gonard.

Lost in Transportation[edit]

Beef: You ain't going nowhere.
[an alarm sounds]
Gang member: Grammar police! You aren't going anywhere.
Beef: Man, the Grammar Police is always doggin me...

(This is said on occasion by the Chums)
Chums: Chums! Chum it up! Ssssssss...

Ozu: [to Lily] Have you talked to Mitsuki? Did she find Mikey?
Lily: Not yet, but Gonard says he has a back up plan
Gonard: (to the children) Maybe one day, you'l all be supeheroes when you grow up. Isn't that right, Mikey?
[A cat is dressed as Kappa Mikey and starts attacking Gonard]

The Fugi-Kid[edit]

Prosecutor: Ozu, do you think Mikey stole the coat?
Ozu: If Mikey says he didn't take the coat, I believe him.
Prosecutor: But didn't Mikey destroy your precious 500 year old bansai tree, then lie about it?
Ozu: Yes! [voice building with anger]
Prosecutor: And did he buy a pirated video game when you told him not to?
Ozu: Yes! [saying very angrily]
Prosecutor: And didn't he reveal Lilymu's secrets to the press?
Ozu: Yes! [saying with fury as he catches on fire]
Mikey: That was a good one.
Prosecutor:Let the records show that Ozu is surrounded by flame.
[Yes Man douses Ozu with an extinguisher]

Judge: Mr. Simon, In light of this terrible crime and the fact that you BROKE MY GAVEL. I sentence you to life in prison.

(It has been proven that Mikey was framed, but the police finds him in Lilymu Towers. The gang are all in Gonard's apartment.)
Gonard: Friends stick together. (outside to the police) Mikey's with us! If you arrest him, you have to arrest all of us!
Detective: Fine. You're all under arrest.
(Mikey, Lily, Mitsuki and Guana slap their foreheads in disbelief)
Gonard: You'll have to come and get us!
Detective: Fine. We'll come and get you.
(Mikey, Lily, Mitsuki and Guana slap their foreheads in disbelief)
Gonard: Take the elevator! From my experience, it's faster.
Detective: Fine. We'll take the elevator.
(Mikey, Lily, Mitsuki and Guana slap their foreheads in disbelief)

Mikey Likes It (Garbage)[edit]

Gonard: (while under a fallen tower of ice) I think I broke one of my livers.
Lily: You only have one liver.
Gonard: How many do I need to live?
Lily: One.
Gonard: ...I'm in trouble.

Mikey: (sees a pile of rotting garbage) Ew. Good luck recycling that.
(Garbage goes through a machine and comes out as a bouquet of roses)
Mikey: So that's where those come from.

[Ozu pits Lily and Gonard together as Tokyo's newest celebrity couple]
Lily: EW! I can't date Gonard, he's... (looks to see Gonard blowing his nose with the table cloth)...Gonard!
Gonard: Yeah, I can't date Gonard! He's way out of my league!

(Gonard walks into the Finest Restaurant in Tokyo carrying a small bouquet of roses. A lady walks up to him)
Woman #1: (sympathetically) I am so sorry.
(Gonard is confused)
Woman #2: Just because she's famous, she shouldn't treat you that way.
(Gonard's more confused. A man then comes up with tears in his eyes. He hugs Gonard tightly and cries)
Crying man: You'll always have the memories!
Gonard: Why is everyone confusing me with some loser who got dumped by a celebrity girlfriend?

Lily: [hesistant] Gonard, listen. Ozu told me we need to generate even more publicity.
Gonard: Okay, I'll do it. (puts on a blonde beehive-style wig) Anything for the show.

[Lily and Gonard have been "split up" by Guano]
Guano: What makes you think she would choose you over me anyway?
Gonard:(Talking while eating spaghetti) Because I am a gentleman!
Man: Excuse me, that's my food.
Gonard: (Still with mouth full) AND IT IS DELICIOUS!

Mikey: If I broke this vase, you'de want me to replace it, right? Well, think of this vase as your irreplacable memories. (drops it on the ground and breaks)
Mitsuki: (tearing up) I made that vase when I was four.
Mikey: And I'll replace it!

[Ozu and Lily look on as Gonard and Guano prepare to duel each other]
Ozu: I don't think this is a good idea.
Lily: Relax, they do this all the time...
(Flashbacks of Gonard and Guano's previous duels are shown, such as hitting each other with paddles while in Colonial costume, banjo play-offs in Old Western clothing, and breakdance-offs in hip-hop clothes)
Gonard: Ready?
Guano: (puts on a pirate hat) Ready. Enguard!
(They start pelting each other with water balloons)

(Mikey leaves a note on the back of Mitsuki's photo album, apologizing for all he's done
Mikey's voice: Dear Mitsuki, I'm sorry I lost your pictures...
(Mitsuki has a sorrowful look on her face)
Mikey's voice: ...and I'm sorry I lied to you...
(Mitsuki has a mean look on her face)
Mikey's voice: ...and I'm sorry I broke your microwave...
(Mitsuki has a look of disbelief on her face)
Mikey's voice: ...I put tinfoil in it because I thought it would make it shoot lightening at people...
(Mitsuki has an annoyed look on her face)
Mikey's voice: ...I probably didn't need to tell you that last thing. Oh well, too late now.

Kappa Mikey Pilot[edit]

Ozu: I...HATE...CARDS!

Gonard: (shoes on his hands) Check out my laced gloves! Hey, where'd my shoes go?

Ozu: This is for you.
(Mikey opens the box and sees a pack of Kappa Mikey trading cards)
Mikey: Cards?...Mikey Simon cards!
Ozu: Let's just keep this between you and me.

Mikey: I thought we weren't using cards
Guano: These are not cards. They're....ACTION TIME FUN SQUARES!
Simon: Look, kid. I'll make this short because I don't care about hurting your feelings. YOU...CANT...ACT!
Mikey: Uh, did you see the headshots?

Easy Come, Easy Gonard[edit]

Guano: I'm not a doll!
Mr. Tatami: That's what all our dolls are programmed to say.
Guano toys: I'm not a doll! I'm not a doll! I'm not a doll! (repeatedly)


Mikey: It's true, I did it.

Yes-Man: I haven't eaten in weeks!

Mikey: Anyway, After the game I picked up Gonard. We ran into a little trouble on the way to Ozu's but it was nothing we couldn't handle.
Mikey: (In flash back) Those Aliens have been tailing us since Montoya Blvd.
Gonard: (In flash back) I'm on it! {Fires lazer)
Mikey: (In flash back) Wooooo ha ha ha!

(end of flashback)

Gonard: (Hand on heart) True Story.

Lily Meow[edit]

Ozu: What should we do with the cat?
Lily: Fire him!
Mitsuki: Deport him!
Cat Burgler: May I suggest a stir fry?

Cat Burglar: You know the expression, 'There's only one way to skin a cat'? Actually, there's only one way, with this. (Pulls out a bizarre looking machine with a hook, knife, sickel, and another blade all spinning simultaneously)

Big Trouble in Little Tokyo[edit]

  • Gonard: Rurr Rurr!
  • Ozu: Very Good!

(Beast Gonard grabs Ozu)

  • Ozu: Very Bad!

The Good, the Bad, and the Mikey[edit]

Mikey: W'ever

Guano: Mikey, you have to do what the script says!

Mikey: Script is just a prison, made of words.

Ozu(later):You must go back to being the old Mikey and be a good example for kids.

Mikey: W'ever.

Ozu: You have to do what I say! I'm your boss!

Mikey: Boss is just a prison, made of skin.

Ozu: That dosen't make any sense!

Mikey: Well, not to a fossil like you.

Big Brozu[edit]

Brozu (to Lily): Your daddy must be a doctor, cuz you are the sickest girl I ever saw.

Brozu (to Mikey): I thought we waz tight!

Mikey: We were tight, but I gotta do this bro. . . for my homezees, and for Ozu!

Battle of the Bands[edit]

Yes Man: There's no going back now!

Robot: I know, I know...

Reality Bites[edit]

Ozu: That was the worst thing I have ever seen!

Guano: It was just getting to the good part...?

Lily (reading the script): "I am going to fight you"? "We are fighting now"? "Thank you for fighting me in the face"?

Gonard: If that's not sophisticated enough, then call me unsophisticated (begins to pick his nose and ears simultaneously)

Gonard (going through a photo album): This is me wrestling aligators. Oh, and this is me playing ping-pong on the moon. And this is when I invented penecillan at the prom.

Mikey: These are all just you holding sandwiches.

Gonard: Jealous?

Guano: Can I say something? I think Lily's a big fake! With her fake being nice for the camera, and her fake pancakes, and her fake eyebrows!

Lily: This whole show is fake! This isn;t even my real room! It's a set!

Guano: Lily's so full of herself! Plus, she's kind of has a mustache. Lily: This isn't the confesstion room!

La Cage Aux Mikey[edit]

Lily: Well, if you really are Mikey's parents, then you must know a lot about him.

Guano: When's Mikey's birthday?

Gonard: What's Mikey's name?

Mitsuki: (mimical gestures while an accordian plays in the background)

With Fans Like These...[edit]

Gonard: Sorry I'm late; I had to get beat up by some nerds. Ready?
Lily: Yeah. Remember, you're good cop, I'm bad cop.
Gonard: Got it. So, Guano, how would you like a punch in the gut?
Lily: [Through teeth] Gonard! Good cop!
Gonard: I mean, how would you like a kiss...in the gut?
[Guano looks confused.]
Lily: [Shouting] You're gonna do our subliminal messages or else!
Guano: [Angry] Or else what?
Gonard: [Holding a small harp] Or else I'm gonna sing you the sweetest love song you ever heard!
[Singing] Guano! Sweet Guano!
[Guano looks horrified.]
Gonard: Fuzzy little guy I love so much,
Jewel in the chest,
So fun to touch!
Guano, sweet Guano...
Guano: Uh...
Gonard: Guano, sweet Guano! Corazón bo bo bo...

The Man Who Would be Mikey[edit]

  • Man: Hey, my newspaper!
  • Ozu: Hey, my Yes Man!

  • Mikey: This should do the job.
  • Man: Beautiful, sword eye, this called the Dragon's Spike, pops you heard the legend.
  • Mikey: Of course, so this is what they use to stop Manzilla.
  • Man: Now, the Dragon's has been a history of dark and TWISTED!
  • Mikey: Oh, the Dragon's Spike, I thought you said the Dragon's Bike, anyway I'm sure no one would mind if I take her out for a little spin.
  • Man: (laughs evily) No one will not pull it from the stone. Thousands of tribe it all it fails, the grass, the blade is to...

(Mikey pulls the blade out)

  • Mikey: See ya later.
  • Man: Spike? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Uh Oh Guano[edit]

Guano: (to a cactus) Chester! Would you please be quiet?!

("Chester" says nothing)

Guano: Don't back-sass me!

The Phantom of the Soundstage[edit]

Like Ozu, Like Son[edit]

Gonard: M...O...G!

LaFemme Mitsuki[edit]

The Order of the Oni[edit]

  • Guano: Ozu is world's strongest man!

A Christmas Mikey[edit]

  • Mikey: Gonard! You're not evil!
  • Gonard: Thanks, I've been using a new deoderant.
  • Ozu: Eat the stocking... EAT IT! (shoves christmas stocking in Yes-man's mouth)

Mikey, Dr. Takashi Katashi and the Worm[edit]

Mikey and Dr. Takashi: Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Dr. Takashi: You were right and I was wrong. I was wrong, wrong, wrong. Are ya happy now?
Mikey: I knew it!

See also[edit]

Television shows

External links[edit]


Wikipedia has an article about: