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Kerching (2003–2006) is a sitcom aimed at teenagers on CBBC that details the lives of Taj, Danny and Semour. The programme revolves around the Chill - a local restaurant - and Taj's 'Rudeboy' money-making schemes.

Series 1[edit]

Taj: I've lost 10 grand!
Danny: Check down the back of the sofa.
Danny: Hey look it's what's-her-name, flea, flame, fla...
Taj: Fleur.
Danny: I was getting there! Seymour here's your big chance!
Seymour: Don't rush me bro! I'm leaving her, twisting in the wind, waiting for the right moment, then I'll strike like a cobra!
Danny: pretends to chuckle to himself You're too scared, aren't ya?
Seymour: Oh yeah!

Danny: All my love i've got to send ya!
'cos you're so pretty fine and tender...
Seymour: Stop, stop. I didn't know you felt this way about me :’’’Danny’’’!
Fluer: Oh Hiya Seymour. What you been up to?
Seymour: I... i i erm. been you look, i mean....
Fluer: I hope the end of these sentences are good!
Danny: and Taj laugh in the background
Seymour: Thats erm me yeh erm funny haha no funny erm weird.
Ricardo walks in.
Ricardo:Alright me lovely (to fleur) where have you been all my life?
Taj: Sane! While you haven't been bothering her. Did i mention i am Sonny on Hollyoaks now?

Series 2[edit]

Taj: I'll tell you three things I did wrong (looks at Danny) 1, walk like I was wearing cardboard underwear (looks at Seymour) 2, act like I didn't care and 3, listen to you two glovepuppets! (Walks off)
Danny: (counting on fingers) isn't that four? (Seymour hits Danny and holds up three fingers)

Taj: Oh great, pay me in cans.
Danny: How you gonna fit that in your wallet?

Missy: (to customer) Like I told you an hour ago, I'll be with you in a minute.

Seymour: Do we have to wear the chef's hats?
Alex: It was the only way I could get Carlton to lend us his kitchen.
Danny: How's he going to know if we don't wear them?
Carlton: You'd be surprised!

Danny and Seymour are caring for a baby simulator
Seymour: You're a good baby aren't you Ainsley!
Danny: I'm not calling our baby Ainsley, she's Kareesha-sha-sha-sha!
Seymour: Danny, she's a he!
Danny: How do you know?
Seymour: How do you think I know?
Danny: Ainsley it is then!

Ricardo: My Dad says he's always known I've had talent. But now, he's says it time I have some real responsibility...
Danny: What, he's going to let you tie your own shoelaces?!!

Seymour: You sent a Rudeboy Master, with Taj's name on it, to Ricardo. You, you plughole!
Danny: But, but you confused me, man!
Seymour: Danny, bananas confuse you!

The boys try to steal back the Rudeboy Master from Hip City
Taj: Where's Danny?
Seymour: He's under trance!
(Danny pops up from behind a vinyl disc section labelled "Trance")

Taj: Now I'm gonna be late meeting Alex because of you two!
Seymour: Don't blame me, blame DJ Airhead over there!

Series 3[edit]

Flashback: start of Rudeboy
Younger Taj: I'm the man now. Do you know what that means?
Younger Danny: First pick of the biscuit tin!
Younger Seymour: No Danny, tin!

Ricardo: We're called 20-20.
Michael: Because you have a clear, creative vision?
Ricardo: No, because there's 40 of us. We make So-Solid-Crew look like Nobby-No-Mates!

Kareesha: Carlton finally got another waitress. And fancy being called "Baz".
Jazmin: Actually it's Jaz-min.
Danny, Seymour, Taj, Omar, Mrs Lewis and Kareesha look at her
Kareesha screams

(Ricardo is unsure whether to go and live with his mum in Italy, or with his Dad in Manchester)
Michael: But I thought you loved in Italy, bro.
Ricardo: Yeah, but I can't speak a word of Italian.
Alex: Then move to Manchester with your Dad.
Ricardo: If I can't learn Italian, how am I gonna learn Manchesterian...
Michael rolls his eyes

Danny: After discovering Taj was dating Alex You mean lying. Tajan Lewis! How dare you treat your boyfriends... I mean friends like this.

Series 4[edit]

Danny has sent the childish radio advertisement jingle Rudebunny to a local radio station, and it is playing.
Taj: Danny what was the last thing I said to you before you left?!
Danny: Don't get 'em mixed up
Taj: And what did you do?
Danny: I got 'em mixed up


Taj Lewis - Devon Anderson
Seymour Franklin - Tendayi Jembere
Danny Spooner - Jamie Sweeney
Missy Lewis - Tisha Martin
Kareesha Lopez - Velile Tshabalala
Josephine Lewis - Judy Browne
Omar Lewis - Jaeden Burke
Ricardo Murray - Danny Young
Carlton - Curtis Walker
Tamsin - Hannah Tointon
Leon - Joe Gritt
Alex Moss - Elspeth Rae

External links[edit]

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