Lake Placid (film)

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Lake Placid is a 1999 film about three people who attempt to kill a giant crocodile that has invaded a lake in Maine.

Directed by Steve Miner. Written by David E. Kelley.
You'll Never Know What Bit You.  (taglines)

Kelly Scott[edit]

  • I will NOT calm down! This is the second time I've been hit with a severed head and I DON'T LIKE IT!

Mrs. Bickerman[edit]

  • I'm rooting for the crocodile. I hope he swallows your friends whole. You might want to arrest me for that too. Is that a crime? To wish the chewing of law enforcement?

Dialogue[edit]

Kelly Scott: The lake is so black and still.
Sheriff Hank Keough: Yeah, we wanted to call it Lake Placid, but someone said that name was taken.

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Jack Wells: It's not a science trip.
Kelly Scott: Could you be a little more condescending? 'Cause I'm not real great with subtlety.
Jack Wells: Something in that lake killed somebody, all right? I appreciate your trying to help. I'm really glad that you... brought the RAID.
Kelly Scott: There, that's better.
Jack Wells: Ma'am...
Kelly Scott: Look, if you call me "ma'am" one more time I'll sue you, and with today's laws, it's possible.
Sheriff Hank Keough: She's good.

Kelly Scott: What kind of backup do we have?
Sheriff Hank Keough: We?
Kelly Scott: What?
Sheriff Hank Keough: Well, I'm a little unclear as to why the museum would send somebody here.
Kelly Scott: You got a thing against museums?
Sheriff Hank Keough: Naw, I got nothin' against museums.
Kelly Scott: Ever been in one?

Sheriff Hank Keough: Tents were sent ahead. Should already be set up by the time we get there.
Kelly Scott: Tents? We're staying in TENTS?
Sheriff Hank Keough: I told you, two days we'd have to camp.
Kelly Scott: Yes! Camp! But I thought that meant Ramada Inn. I never heard tents! Will there be toilets?
Jack Wells: Maybe we should just take you back.
Kelly Scott: Why? Because I prefer toilets? Maybe I should just wipe myself with some leafy little piece of poison oak. And then I can spend the whole day scratchin' my ass, blendin' in with the natives.

Kelly Scott: His scales were oval. He's an Asian Crocodile.
Sheriff Hank Keough: Why... why would he come here? I mean, it's impossible. Asia. How would he get here?
Hector Cyr: Obviously some asshole in Hong Kong flushed him down the toilet.

Sheriff Hank Keough: I... I... I never heard of a crocodile crossing an ocean.
Hector Cyr: Well, they conceal information like that in books.

Mrs. Bickerman: Oh, my husband passed away. It's been almost two years now.
Sheriff Hank Keough: My department doesn't have any record of that, Mrs. Bickerman.
Mrs. Bickerman: Well, I'm sorry. Incomplete records haunt me so.
Jack Wells: What was the cause of your husband's death, ma'am? Do you know?
Kelly Scott: We don't mean to invade your privacy, but was he ill, was he sick?
Sheriff Hank Keough: Was he swallowed?

Sheriff Hank Keough: [after seeing her lead a blindfolded cow to the crocodile] Ma'am, your husband Bernie, you didn't by any chance lead him to the lake blindfolded?
Mrs. Bickerman: If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it!

Mrs. Bickerman: Murders and rapes in the city, people bomb planes, can the police stop 'em? No! But feed one little cow to a crocodile...
Sheriff Hank Keough: You're gonna stay right here until the police show. You're under full house arrest.
Mrs. Bickerman: Thank you, officer fuck-meat!

Kelly Scott: Did you want to be killed by it?
Hector Cyr: You think I'm that nuts?
Kelly Scott: Hector, what you just did, there had to be some sort of death wish going on.
Hector Cyr: In ancient Malenesia people suspected of crime's would be thrown to the crocodiles. Crocodiles would decide. They would be the judge.
Kelly Scott: Oh, so that was you wanting to be judged out there?
Hector Cyr: Maybe I was, and so what? Is that too arbitrary? Better to be measured by my wealth? Better for me to get my self-esteem looking into the eyes of cheap sycophants craving a meal ticket? There was more honesty in those dragon's eyes. There was more dignity in those dragon's eyes...
Kelly Scott: Jesus, Hector cut the shit.
Hector Cyr: Aw, fuck it.

Kelly Scott: [about Hector] He thinks they're godly.
Sheriff Hank Keough: What was that?
Kelly Scott: In his defense, every primitive culture known to man deified them: ancient China, Egypt, Australia, Asia... Going back in history, crocodiles have been more worshiped than Jesus.
Sheriff Hank Keough: Is this supposed to make us take him more seriously?
Kelly Scott: No, it's supposed to make you understand him.

Kelly Scott: Doesn't anyone "make a move" around here in Maine?
Jack Wells: [opens the passenger door and moves his bag] Get in.
Kelly Scott: You move a bag and that's it? That's your "move"?
Jack Wells: Come on, I know a good bar where we can get some beers.
Kelly Scott: [gets in and closes the door] Are the glasses clean?
Jack Wells: Uhh... yeah. Are you gonna complain like this all night?
Kelly Scott: Start the car Jack.
Jack Wells: I miss the crocodile already.

Taglines[edit]

  • You'll Never Know What Bit You.
  • Part Mystery. Part Thriller. Parts Missing.

About[edit]

Cast[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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