Last Action Hero

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Last Action Hero is a 1993 film.

Directed by John McTiernan. Written by Shane Black, David Arnott, and William Goldman.

Jack Slater[edit]

  • To be... or not to be? [shoots badguy] Not to be.
  • Big mistake.
  • You've seen these movies where they say "make my day" or "I'm your worst nightmare"? Well, listen to this one: rubber baby buggy bumpers!
  • I'm the hero. So SHUT UP!!!


  • [To Danny Madigan] I must warn you, I've killed people smarter and younger than you.
  • [Directly to the audience] If God were a villain - he'd be me.


[At school, Danny Madigan is daydreaming about Jack Slater as Hamlet; he is confronting Polonius about the death of his father]
Hamlet: [lights a cigar] Hey, killed my father.
[Hamlet picks Polonius up.]
Hamlet: [smug] Big mistake.
[He hurls him, screaming, through a window]
Narrator: Something is rotten in the state of Denmark! And, Hamlet is taking out the trash!
[Hamlet is killing people with skulls and swords]
Old Man: Stay thy hand, fair prince!
Hamlet: Who said I'm fair? [shoots him]
Narrator: No one is going to tell this sweet prince goodnight!
Hamlet: To be...or not be. [lights a cigar] Not to be.
[An explosion occurs behind him]

Benedict: I understand you are interested in drug dealers.
Jack Slater: Yes...
Danny Madigan: [whispering] Jack, that's him, the henchman with the glass eye.
Jack Slater: Sir, are you a henchman?
Benedict: No, I only go as far as lackey. Anything else?
Jack Slater: Yeah, take off your sunglasses.
Benedict: Who's asking?
Jack Slater: [shows police badge] The tin man.
Benedict: Well, tin man, suppose you hit the bricks.
Jack Slater: Nah, they're the wrong color.
Benedict: Are they? Oh dear, by all means let's change them. Would arterial red suit you? [motions to behind Jack and Danny]

[reveal to guard dogs]

Benedict: Make no mistake, they are exceptionally well-trained. [snaps fingers]

[reveal to guard dogs again, now formed in a pyramid]

Benedict: I snap my fingers again and sometime tomorrow, you emerge from several canine recta. Or you and Toto can go back to the land of Oz. Questions?
Jack Slater: Yeah... two of them. [casually lights cigar] Why am I wasting my time on a dimestore putz like you, when I could be doing something more dangerous... like rearranging my sock drawers? And two - how exactly are you going to snap your fingers, after I rip off both of your thumbs?

[guard dogs whimper]

Benedict: [pausing before revealing smiley-face glass eye] Have a nice day.

Tony Vivaldi: What is this, Benedict? First you're my friend, now you turn a... [makes twirling motion with finger] 360 on me?!
Benedict: 180, you stupid spaghetti-slurping cretin! 180! If I did a 360, I'd go completely around and end up back where I started.
Tony Vivaldi: [confused] ... what?
Benedict: Trust me. [shoots Vivaldi]

Ripper: Hey, Jack. What kept you?
Jack Slater: Are you alright, Danny?
Danny Madigan: Yes, sir.
Ripper: You know, I tried to change, Jack. I really tried to do what he told me. But I kept hearing that old music. That's how I knew you'd come, Jack. Now lose the piece.
Jack Slater: [throws gun away] There, now it's between you and me. Let the boy go.
Ripper: Now we've played this number before haven't we, Jack? Let's see, what comes next.... You throw the gun away. Right, we did that part... [lays down axe] Then you tell me to let the kid go... Ah, I'm getting bored, why don't we just skip to the end? [tosses Danny off the building]


  • This isn't the movies anymore.
  • Did Someone Say Action?


  • Arnold Schwarzenegger as Jack Slater
  • Austin O'Brien as Danny Madigan
  • Charles Dance as Benedict
  • Anthony Quinn as Tony Vivaldi
  • Bridgette Wilson as Whitney Slater
  • Mercedes Ruehl as Irene Madigan
  • F. Murray Abraham as John Practice
  • Tom Noonan as Ripper

External links[edit]

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