(Redirected from Laurence Tureaud)
I pity the foo'...
- I didn't just start doing this today. Not like some people that have a movie coming out, so they go visit kids in the hospital. You don't need that phony crap. All of these celebrities, they turn my stomach with their funny stuff. I've been going in the ghettos without the press, without bodyguards, talking to kids. "Get to reading, stay in school. You don't have to carry a gun." I know about peer pressure and all that, but I say, "Hey, they called me a sissy because I wouldn't join a gang. Who was calling me a sissy? Does it make me a sissy because somebody called me a sissy?" [...] I'm going to fight if you touch me or hurt me or do harm to my family. But if you call me a bad name, or whatnot, I'm too smart for that. That's the message the kids need to hear coming from me. I tell them, "If I fought every time somebody called me a name, I would never get out of jail. But I'm disciplined. I'm smarter than that." So I tell them, like my mother said, "Consider the source." When you see who called you the name, then you understand why they're doing it. Then you don't have to stoop that low.
- See, if I come into a black neighborhood and say, "Thanks for watching my show," and give out high fives and all that, I'm not doing no good. I go out and see a kid grabbing his crotch. Ain't nobody telling them that. Where do they get it from? They watch MTV. I say, "If you wash up more often, you won't have to grab your crotch." I'm telling these guys, "Why you gotta grab your crotch?" Then you see Michael Jackson grabbing his crotch 50 times. What's with him?
- Everything started as a dream. You gotta have insight, know what you want. You gotta have a plan. Like I tell anybody, if you fail to plan, you're planning to fail. I've been planning ever since I was a youngster. You've got to start from somewhere. There's nothing wrong or demeaning in flipping burgers. It's more proud than selling drugs.
- We didn't starve. We spent wisely. Like I tell people in the ghetto, "If you can buy guns and bullets, why can't you buy food? You can buy heroin and crack cocaine, so why can't you buy bread and butter and milk? Why can't you pay your rent?" There's a lot of people in the ghetto who go out and get a fancy car and all that. The car costs more than their house. Meanwhile, your kids need shoes. That's not cool.
- The Onion A.V. Club, June 26th, 2002
Silver Spoons (1982)
- First name Mr, middle name 'period', last name T!
Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool (1984)
- Do you know me? Of course you do. 'Cause I'm famous!
- Hey, you with the teeth...
- Hey, everybody gotta’ put on clothes and if you don’t you get arrested.
- Calvin Klein and Gloria Vanderbilt don't wear clothes with your name on it, so why should you wear their name?
- Anger - use it, but don't lose it!
Snickers Advert (2007)
- Quit yo Jibber-jabber! You ain't hurt, yo pathetic!, Argh! If I ever catch you acting like a crazy fool again, you're gonna meet my friend pain! Snickers, get some nuts!
- SPEEDWALKING?! I pity you fool! You a disgrace to the man race! It's time to run like a real man! Take that speedwalker! Do it again sucker, and there's going to be trouble! With a capital Mr.T! Snickers, get some nuts!
- Yo makin' me mad sucker, cold water never hurt nobody! It's time to get in da pool, 'cause you're goin' swimmin', fool! TAKE THAT, TOEDIPPER! Argh! Argh! I hate flying, so this had better be the last time I see yo cryin'! Snickers, get some nuts!
World of Warcraft Advert (2007)
- Shut up, fool!
- Mr. T has the greatest hair in the world. You can't deny it, it's been proven by science, fool!
- Well, maybe Mr. T hacked the game and created a Mohawk class! Maybe, Mr. T's pretty handy with computers! Had that occurred to you, Mr. "Condescending" Director?!
- I'm Mr. T and I'm a "Night Elf Mohawk"! What's YOUR game?
- I ain't no computer hacker!
- As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal.
- I pity the fool who drinks soy milk.
- I believe in the Golden Rule - The Man with the Gold... rules.
- For 5 years Mr. T disappeared. Fools went unpitied and Jibba-Jabba went unchallenged!
- On his fight with cancer
- It takes a smart guy to play dumb.
- Response to the question "Are you as thick as BA?" at a press conference.
- People ask me what the "T" stands for in my name. If you're a man, the "T" stands for tough. If you're a woman or child, it stands for tender!
- I remember one time I tried to pity this fool. He told me his name was Jeff. He was married. He pulled out his wallet and showed me three pictures of his kids; Kelly, Robert, Brittany. Real cute kids. Don't get too close man. It's hard to pity a fool if you get too close.
- I pity the university for not giving T enough time. You know I got all duded up, got dressed, the students were all ready for me, then they gave me short time. So I pity them. So if they want to be unpitied, they'll invite me back and give me more time.
- Speech at UCLA, May 9, 2002.
- I think about my father being called 'boy,' my uncle being called 'boy,' my brother, coming back from Vietnam and being called 'boy.' So I questioned myself: 'What does a black man have to do before he's given the respect as a man?' So when I was 18 years old, when I was old enough to fight and die for my country, old enough to drink, old enough to vote, I said I was old enough to be called a man. I self-ordained myself Mr. T so the first word out of everybody's mouth is 'Mr.' That's a sign of respect that my father didn't get, that my brother didn't get, that my mother didn't get.
- You're going through college, and you're going to be faced with a lot of things. You're going to face adversity, the main thing is don't quit. For many people it's easy to quit, but don't. That's what separates the winners from the losers, what separates the all-stars from the also-rans.
- I wanted to win to feed the hungry people of my community. I didn't want to win to buy a diamond – I didn't have no diamonds then. I didn't want to win to buy a car, I didn't want to win to bring a couple of chicks downtown to a hotel. I wanted to win to feed the poor people of the community.
- On winning the America's Toughest Bouncer contest.
- I tell people that I was born and raised in the ghetto, but the ghetto was not born and raised in me.
- When you see me now, I'm nothing but a big overgrown tough mama's boy. And I speak that with glee because the problem with society is we don't have enough mama's boys.
- I said "Hell no, because you didn't find a weapon; or if that's the charge you would have to lock me up because my hands and feet are deadly weapons."
- I'm not perfect, I'm not an angel, but I try to live a certain way because it brings honour and respect to my mother. I tell people that when they look at me, they're looking at nothing but a big, overgrown, tough mama's boy. That's who I am.
- People ask what gives me the authority to give advice? I say, First of all, I don't give advice. Dr Phil gives advice. Mr T helps people. I motivate them, I inspire them, I give them hope, and I plant the seed so they can feel good about themselves.
- "You've got to testify! Tell somebody about it. God is good!" "I pity the fool that don't get it." - Mr. T going for Jury Duty.
- You don't rehearse Mr. T, you just turn him loose.
Quotes from acting
- Hey, sucka!
- Shut up Murdock, crazy fool!
- I ain't getting on no plane, Hannibal!
- Where's the meat? This sandwich is full of weeds! I ain't eatin' nothing I don't understand!
- I got no time for the jibba-jabba.
- Don't make me mad, Arrr!
- I'm on a real short leash here, and I'm tired of your crazy rap!
- I pity the fool, thug, or soul who tries to take over the world.
- Shut up, fool!
- What!?! Idiot shot the tires on my van!!
- Hannibal is on the jazz.
- Be there!
- NBC promotional spot, 1983
- Mother, There is No Other. Like Mother So treat Her right, treat Her right.
- Mother, I always Love Her. My Mother. So treat Her right, treat Her right.
- It's a crack baby....FOOL
- Mr.T and the T-Force, Issue 1
- I pity that chump Conan O'Brien.
- On the Conan O'Brien show.
- Take it from me...Mr.T
- 8! 8! That's only a third, and third rhymes with Turd!
- Love is a verb... and Verbs show action
- You gonna lose a deal over $35? Thats chump change! My lunch cost $35!
- Hey fool, this ain't no football game! (A-Team)
- I don't hate fools, I pity them! (I pity the fool)
- Life's tough, but I'm tougher! (I pity the fool)
- The jibba jabba stops here! (I pity the fool)
- Teachin' fools some basic rules! (I pity the fool)
- You got to believe in the ball, and throw your self. (Not Another Teen Movie)
You know something is wrong when the ground comes up to you and punches you in the face