Left 4 Dead 2
- Coach: watch where you shootin'!
- Coach: Oh—excuse me?! EXCUSE ME?!
- Coach: There's gonna be some biblical shit happenin' to you if you do that again!
- Coach: Young'un, stop that shit.
- Coach: Man—I swear to gawd you can't...shoot worth SHIT!
- Ellis: I'm not a zombie. Shoot the frickin zombies!
- Ellis: C'mon, man; it's not funny anymore!
- Ellis: You do that again and I'll knock you into next week.
- Nick: You do that again, AND I WILL BURY YOU ALIVE!
- Nick: Y'know, it's not all right that you are shooting me!
- Nick: Damn! ...you suck at shooting.
- Nick: You. Are. Shooting. ME!
- Rochelle: Ow! Hey!
- Rochelle: Heyheyheyheyheyhey—hey. Are you fucking kidding me?
- When heard
- Coach: One of those leaping-on-your-back bitches is around.
- Nick: Jockeys coming hot and ready
- Rochelle: Jockey around...
- Ellis: Frickin' jockey's around.
- When puked on:
- Coach: Augh, shit!
- Coach: Blargh, dammit!
- Nick: Ah, goddammit!
- Nick: Augh—this is nasty shit...!
- Nick: Ugh, dammit. I am covered in vomit...again.
- Grabbed and pummeled:
- Coach: Shoot this damn Charger!
- Coach: Agh, man—one-a y'all gonna shoot this thing?!
- Coach: Ah! This thing's beatin' my ass!
- Coach: Don't stand there! Kill this thing!
- Nick: This thing is beating my meat!
- Nick: Kill this goddamn thing!
- Ellis: RAPERS'S GOT ME!
- Ellis: He's bashin' me int' shit!
- Ellis: Aw hell, it's poundin' me to death!
- Ellis: Charger's rip-pin' me up!
- Ellis: Jus' shoot it! SHOOT IT!
- Seeing in Dead Center:
- Ellis: Spittin' Nasty Thing!
- Ellis: That Loogie Dude!
- Injured by Spitter goo:
- Coach: Wha—?! SPIT!
- Coach: Damn Spitter got me!
- Coach: Goddammit—GOO!
- Ellis: I got Spitter shit on me!
- Ellis: Auh, Spitter goo!
- Ellis: GODDAMN GOO!
- Nick: I got hit by (the) burning goo shit!
- Nick: God—damn it, I'm—covered in goo!
- Injured by Spitter goo in Dead Center:
- Ellis: What the hell? 's [s]he spittin' fire...?!
- Ellis: Hey, run, man; this['s] some crazy shit!
- Nick: Ugh, what 'n the hell did that thing just do?!
- Nick: Ugh, what is this shit on me?!
- Nick: Ough, what am I covered in?!
- Coach: OH!, WHAT THE HELL PETER!
- Coach: Shoot that big mutha!
- Coach: Keep pourin' it on!
- Ellis: Light that mother UP!
- Nick: Stay away from my vodka!!
- Nick: Everyone shoot the Tank!
- Rochelle: Okay, shoot the shit out of that thing!
- Running from the Witch:
- Coach: The bitch is chasin' me!
- Coach: Run! Run! Bitch comin' through!
- Coach: Shoot the Bitch, shoot the Bitch!
- Nick: Ahhhhh I pissed the Bitch off!
- Nick: Shoot the Bitch! Shoot the Bitch! Shoot the Bitch! What're you doing?! Shoot her!
[The survivors walk past the motel on the highway while O Sweet Death plays.]
[Coach breaks through the boarded up door to a convenience store safe room in the park, unlocks it and everyone walks in.]
- Coach: Report unusual behavior...
[Nick opens the cash register with his pistol and smirks.]
- Coach: Barricade your homes...
[Ellis opens a gun cabinet and looks inside, his expression of bewilderment changes to a devilish smile.]
- Coach: Avoid all contact with all infected individuals...
[Rochelle is studying a map as Ellis places a pistol on top of it for her. She pushes it away as Ellis studies a combat shotgun.]
[Coach is shown reading off a piece of paper as he holds a chocolate bar.]
- Coach: Wait for official instructions. Heh, wait my ass!
[Coach crumbles the paper and throws it away as he walked towards the others, taking a bite of his chocolate bar. Ellis has attached a grenade launcher, a sniper rifle, a pipe bomb, and a first aid kit to his back.]
- Ellis: Kill all sons 'a bitches.
[Ellis racks his combat shotgun.]
- Ellis: That's my 'ficial instructions.
[Ellis kicks out the safe room and they open fire on a group of common infected. Chocolate Helicopter begins to play.]
[Coach punches an infected in the face, knocking it down. Rochelle brings her axe into the face of an infected as Coach walks up to the downed infected]
- Coach: This used to be a nice neighborhood!
[ Coach beats the Common's face in with the stock of his Chrome Shotgun. ]
[ Ellis and Nick run along the highway, when Ellis is tackled by a Jockey. Nick turns around.]
- Nick: Shit!
[ Nick fires. Cut to the downed plane in the crash site. ]
- Rochelle: What the hell was that?
' '[ A trio of mud men notice them and charge. ]
- Ellis: Hey watch out!
[ Cut to Ellis and Rochelle hiding behind a fallen tree. Rochelle hushes Ellis as a Spitter appears on the other side of the tree. ]
- Rochelle: Shhh... This is some grim shit we've got ourselves into...
[ The Spitter hacks up acid at the camera as the scene cuts to the Survivors fighting in the streets of Ducatel. ]
- Rochelle: Get back! Get back!
[ Coach and Rochelle fire briefly at the horde before the Survivors run away. Ellis is helping Nick walk. Cut to the Survivors climbing a stairwell. ]
- Coach: [ Panting from exhaustion ] Who the hell...puts an evac station...up thirty flights of goddamn stairs...
- Nick: [ Exhausted ] Come on Сoach...maybe the helicopter...maybe it's made of chocolate. [ Chuckles ]
[ Coach scowls at Nick. ]
[ The Survivors reach the top of the building. Ellis is calling out. ]
- Ellis: Hey where is everybody? Helloooo!
[ Four helicopters are seen flying away in the distance. ]
- Rochelle: Ok, this is not happening...
- Ellis: Anyone here?
- Rochelle: ...This is not happening. This is not happening.
- Coach: Aren't they supposed to be saving our asses?
- Nick: Looks like there's been a change of plans.
[ Cut to jets bombing the embankment to the Louisiana Naval Shipyard, a Horde in the French Quarter, and a tractor-trailer being blown into a group of Infected on the bridge. ]
- Rochelle: [ Into a radio ] Stop the bombing run!
[ Cut to the Veterans Memorial Bridge collapsing into the river. ]
- Radio voice: Jesus Christ! That's coming from the bridge!
[ Coach is thrown back onto the hood of a squad car as an explosion hits a gas tanker in front of him. Nick rushes over to help him. ]
[ Nick looks up in surprise. ]
[ Ellis is attacked by a Charger in a burning shack. It roars, bursting through the wood, sending him flying. It then picks him up. ]
- Ellis: It's got me!
[ The Charger pounds him on the ground. He grunts out loud. ]
[ Cut to Nick followed by a group of Infected climbing a roller coaster in Whispering Oaks. Nick is pulled up by Rochelle as a fireball engulfs the Infected. ]
- Rochelle: Hang on!
[ Two hazmat suit Infected walk through flames and turn towards the camera. ]
[ The Survivors run down a hallway to an elevator. Ellis melees an Uncommon Riot Infected, but loses his Sniper Rifle to a Common Infected that trips with its arms raised, making it fall out of his hands. He makes it inside the elevator, but a Smoker grabs him. ]
- Ellis: Ah, what the hell-OWW!
[ Nick grabs onto Ellis, pulling him away from the infected as two Common Infected keep the doors open. Coach takes a chainsaw and decapitates the Infected and severs the Smoker's tongue. ]
- Coach: Goddammit! Eat that shit!
[ Ellis collapses on the floor and removes the tongue still wrapped around him. His expression of disgust turns to shock as he looks out the glass window, down at a swarm of Infected. ]
- Ellis: Holy shit...
[ Coach helps Ellis to his feet as Rochelle hands him a grenade launcher. ]
- Rochelle: Hey. "Kill all sons 'a bitches", right?
[ Ellis sheepishly nods, grinning at the grenade launcher. ]
[ The floor count changes from five to four. Cut to the Survivors on the stage of the Dark Carnival finale fighting a horde. Coach throws a gas can into the fireworks. ]
- Coach: YEAH!
[ Ellis shoots the flying gas can with his Combat Rifle and it explodes above the horde of infected. ]
- Nick (voiceover): I have not...
[ Floor count changes from 4 to 3. Rochelle cocks and fires a heavy machine gun from the porch of the mansion in Swamp Fever. ]
- Nick (voiceover): ...come this far...
[ Floor count changes from 3 to 2. The Survivors are fighting a Tank on the Veteran's Memorial bridge. ]
- Nick (voiceover): ...to die now.
[ Floor count changes from 2 to L. The doors of the elevator open up. As the Survivors prepare, Coach revs up his chainsaw to fight the horde. ]
Campaign 1: Dead Center
- Coach: [yelling at the helicopter as it leaves them on the roof] Hey! Come back! COME BACK! ...Ah, he ain't comin' back!
- Nick: Technically, you're not supposed to use an elevator in a fire. But that might not apply during a zombie apocalypse.
Campaign 2: Dark Carnival
- Coach: [seeing the roadside billboard for the Whispering Oaks amusement park] Hey...! Whisperin' Oaks! Shit, I used to go there when I was a kid!
- Nick: Oh, good. Now we can die there as adults.
- Nick: Unless Ellis knows how to build a monster truck, we're not getting past all these cars
- Ellis: Man I'm sorry guys, I didn't see this comin'!
- Nick: Don't sweat it, Ellis, at least you got us out of that mall.
- Nick : [crossing the highway, which has been congested with an innumerous amount of abandoned cars and vehicles] These abandoned cars go on for miles.
- Coach: Maybe they left 'em when they got rescued!
- Nick: That's...one theory.
- Coach: Whisperin' Oaks Motel? Sheeeeet... I know where we are!
[when the group sees Clown Infected]
- Coach: CLOWNS?! (Gimme a break!)
- Ellis: Clowns? Clowns. Aw, you have got to be fucking kidding me.
- Coach: [at a fenced carousel, about the only available switch] A'ight, this is gonna open the gate, and what the hell else?
- Nick: You know what? Somehow, I think it'll activate everything else around here.
- Ellis: [entering kiddie land for the first time] Holy shit guys! Kiddie land!
- Coach: Sometimes it feels like we baby sittin'.
- Nick: He's like a 5-year-old, but with guns, and a comprehensive grasp on every swear word in the English dictionary.
- Rochelle: To hell with it, woo! Kiddie Land!
[Going over to a ride with a height scale]
- Nick: Oh would you look at that, sorry Ellis. You'll be missed.
- Ellis: Oh haha, not funny Nick.
- Nick: I know Ellis, just messin' with ya.
Campaign 3: Swamp Fever
- Coach: Shit, that pilot jus' changed. One minute, he was flyin' us to safety; the next, he was…well…I am pretty damn sure he was tryin' to eat us.
- Ellis: Nick what the hell you shoot the pilot.
- Nick: Yeah but he wasn´t doing a good job after he turned into a zombie now was he?
- Ellis: true true but he also was our ONLY pilot.
- Rochelle: he must have been bitten at the concert.
Campaign 4: Hard Rain
- Coach: We should be in-an'-out of here. Get the gas, get back to shore, signal Virgil with the flare gun in the gun bag. Then we should just, uh…um…aw, hell. Tell me someone brought the gun bag!
- Nick: What gun bag?
[while moving through the Witch-infested sugarmill]
- Coach: Whole lotta Witches 'round here…!
- Ellis: Man, I'm gonna start cryin' in a minute.
- Ellis: Nick. You ever seen so many Witches? Ho-lee shit…!
Campaign 5: The Parish
[in the impound lot; when a Survivor shoots one too many cars…]
- Coach: WOULD YOU STOP SHOOTIN' THE GODDAMN CARS?!?!
- Ellis: All right! I can shoot a car, too!
- Nick: HOW MANY OF THESE CARS ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT?!?!
- Nick: You wanna start shootin' cars, let's shoot cars!
[on the freeway]
- Nick: That's it! We're really here! We're on the bridge! We're here! We're here!
[The military's F18s blow the freeway up.]
- Coach: Motherfucker!
- Ellis: Whoa! That was cool 'n' all, but…shit.
- Coach: (when big mommas flying towards him) OH SHIT!
- Nick: Oh, COME ON!
- Rochelle: What are they doing?!?!
[on the Bridge; when the soldier on the radio asks them if they have "encountered the Infected"]
- Coach: [indignant] "Encountered"? Boy—I am covered in zombie blood and puke, and eyeballs, and twenty other parts I don't even recognize! We are immune as SHIT!
- Coach: [variant of above line] "Encountered"? Boy, I am covered in zombie blood…puke…eyeballs...and twenty other parts I don't even recognize! We are immune as shit!
- Nick: Yeah, you could say that.