Lesbian Vampire Killers
Appearance
Lesbian Vampire Killers is a 2009 horror-comedy film starring James Corden about the legend of Carmilla the Vampire Queen and her war with the villagers of Cragwich, Suffolk.
Fletch
[edit]- The name's Fletch.
- Maybe it's just... that I don't like kids, y'know.
- (about Jimmy's hiking idea) That... is one of the shittiest ideas for a holiday I have ever heard!
- So... what're five beautiful girls like you doing out on a night like this?
- These girls are going to the exact same place we are going!
- (after the final battle) Completely fucking unbelivable!
Jimmy McLaren
[edit]- Did you punch a girl?
- Let's go hiking.
- {to Trudi) That doesn't even make the slighest bit of sense!
- (after Fletch destroys his phone)What was that for?
- She has a pure spirit.
- (when the lesbian vampires are hovering at the door) So, all we need to do really is sit tight and wait 'til morning. I mean, it's not like we're going to say Hey, lesbian vampires, come into our cottage, is it? (realizes what he's done has invited them inside) Ah, shit.
Carmilla the Vampire Queen
[edit]- If you strike me down, you shall bring about a curse to your daughters, and your daughters' daughters! And when I am struck down I shall rise again, more powerful than you can ever imagine!
- McLadden...
Eva
[edit]- We are gathered here, under the light of the red Moon.
- It is time.
Dialogue
[edit]- Jimmy: I have an idea.
- Fletch: Does it involve girls?
- Jimmy: An idea.
- Fletch: DOES IT INVOLVE GIRLS?
- Jimmy: Let's go hiking!
- Fletch: (bursts out laughing:) THAT... is one of the most depressingly shittiest ideas for a holiday I have ever heard!
- (opening narration)
- Narrator: At the dawn of the Roman era, our hamlet was beseiged by a beast. A creature from the deepest pits of Hades, born of the hatred of men, and the lust for women. Its name, Carmilla.
- Jimmy: Wherever it lands on the map, we'll go!
- (he throws his dart which lands somewhere in Suffolk)
- Fletch: (goes up to look) How do you pronounce that? Crags-wich? Crag-wich?
- Jimmy: I'll tell you what it is, it's called an A-D-V-N-T-U-R-E, my friend.
- Lotte: Do you like Carmilla?
- Jimmy: Uh, I dunno. Is that who it is?
- Lotte: Yes, Carmilla, the Vampire Queen.
- Jimmy: Vampire Queen?
- Lotte: Yes, but according to beliefs she's much more than your average vampire. She's rumoured to be over two thousand years old.
- Jimmy: So you believe in all that Dungeons & Dragons jumbo?
- Lotte: Oh, my family were very superstitious.
Cast
[edit]- James Corden - Fletch
- Mathew Horne - Jimmy
- Paul McGann - The Vicar
- Emer Kenny - Rebecca (The Vicar's Daughter)
- Lucy Gaskell - Judi
- Louise Dylan - Anke
- Ashley Mulheron - Trudi
- Tiffany Mulheron - Heidi
- Vera Filatova - Eva
- Silvia Colloca - Camilla
- MyAnna Buring - Lotte
- Emma Clifford - Ms. Rossi
- Margarita Hall - (Daughter of darkness)