Life's a Zoo
Life's a Zoo is a Canadian stop motion sitcom created by Adam Shaheen and Andrew Horne. It is directed by Alexander Gorelick. A co-production of Cuppa Coffee Studios and Teletoon, "Life's a Zoo.tv" was named Best Animated Program or Series at the 24th Annual Gemini Awards. It premiered on September 1, 2008 on Teletoon's late night programming block, "Teletoon at Night".
Welcome to the Jungle [1.01]
- [Morreski drinks one of Rico's martinis]
- Morreski: Tastes like goat urine.
- [The contestants are in the back of an airplane, flown by Claude]
- Claude: Who's ready to jump out of an airplane?
- Jake: Hey! [in an interview later] I thought he said "Who's ready to jump into some foreplay?"
- [Jake has fallen through the skylight into Minou's bathroom while she was showering]
- Minou: HOW LONG WERE YOU WATCHING ME SHOWERING, YOU PERVENT?!
- [The shot cuts to different cameras as Jake points them out]
- Jake: No longer than that camera, or that one, or that one!
You Snooze, You Lose It [1.02]
- Jake: I'd like that comment struck from the record.
- Minou: And I'd like you struck in the balls.
- [Ray is in the air vent, pretending to be the papaya Jake is talking to]
- Ray: You can call me... Juanita.
- Jake: Juanita? That's a beautiful name.
- Ray: It was my mother's. Before she got eaten.
- Chi-Chi: We say in China, when grass grow too tall, don't cut him down. Be friend with him, and ask him to not grow so big.
- Minou: Thanks. Can I have a combo number five with fried rice?
- Ray: I haven't seen anybody that excited about fruit since...
- Rico: Don't say it!
- [Dr. D and Jake are the last two contestants in the going-without-sleep challenge]
- Jake: So he says "Yabba dabba, a dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba. Then the unicorn says..."
- Dr. D: Douchebag! Shut the fu- [passes out]
- [Jake has just won the weekly challenge by staying awake the longest]
- Claude: Congratulations Jake, you just went an entire week without sleep to win this week's challenge... and here's your prize! A brand new, state of the art, straight from the factory... [dramatic presentation where the prize is revealed] ...papaya!
- [Ray is harassing Jake who is trying to enter "Rayland" to get something from the kitchen for Rico]
- Rico: Do you have anything to declare?
- Jake: Yes, I'm going to kick your ass.
- Rico: Do you have any fruits or vegetables... especially fruits?
- [Dr. D does a jester dance for Rico]
- Rico: Now do it again! This time with feeling! Amateur!
- [Chi-Chi bites the head off of one of Ray's toy soldiers]
- Chi-Chi: Viva la revolution!
- [Ray swings by on the chandelier and snatches the crown off of Rico's head]
- Rico: That was just rude!
Live and Let Diet [1.05]
- [Jake is eating an apple that Minou puked on]
- Ray: Can I have some of that?
- [Jake answers the door for the delivery man who has just brought a pizza all the way from Italy. He pays the huge bill and opens the pizza box]
- Jake: Hey... I SAID NO ANCHOVIES!
Dr. D Plays House [1.06]
- Rico: I was never really into Dr D. I need someone whose talent is much... bigger. Someone like Chi-Chi!
- [We learn that Chi-Chi's mother pushed her to become a great musician and was very disappointed in her]
- Chi-Chi: I hoped to one day make her proud of me before I die... but she died!
- [Jake smashes Morreski's accordion]
- Morreski: What you doing, Jerk?
- Jake: That's Jake! J, A, K, E!
- [Jake jumps on the accordion to emphasize each letter]
- Morreski: So sorry, Jake, J, A, K, E, V!
- [Morreski slams Jake into the wall to emphasize each letter]
- Jake: V?!
- Morreski: I not good speller.... T! S! G!
- [Morreski keeps slamming Jake into the wall while saying different letters]
Big Brother, Where Art Thou [1.08]
- Ray: Dude, did the aliens probe you too?
- Rico: If someone was poking around up there, I would know. Trust me.
- [The contestants have found their way back to the mansion and find Chi-Chi passed out on the dinner table, drunk]
- Chi-Chi: Fuck you, you fucking fucks!
- [Dr D enters one of the white rooms and finds a clock on the wall]
- Dr. D: Damn, this bling's gonna look great on me!
- [He takes the clock off the wall and hangs it around his neck]
- [Ray wakes up in the white room]
- Ray: Where am I? In a white room... no windows... awesome, I've been abducted by aliens!
Scared Shirtless [1.09]
- [Minou is holding the fake, bloody Minou head]
- Minou: It's not real. It's TV!
- Morreski: Psycho is real! Many year ago in homeland, man go to prom. Blood is drop on him, ruin his suit. He drive home, accidental drive over man. Very next year he get letter, letter say "I know what you did last prom night".
- [Minou and Ray find a secret passageway behind the bookshelf]
- Ray: I bet you ten dollars this is Batman's cave!
- Minou: I bet you fifty dollars you're a moron. I win.
- Ray: Yeah. But if Batman's in here I only owe you like... thirty bucks!
- Jake: All work and no play makes Jake a dull boy.
- Chi-Chi: I like Dr D. I partner with him. His "yang" help me fight psycho.
- Dr. D: You hear that, dogs? Chi Chi wants my yang!
- [Claude tells Morreski over the phone that there is a psycho killer running loose in the mansion, then hangs up on him]
- Morreski: Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? [hangs up] Who did not pay phone bill!
- Claude: What would happen if we had a psycho killer running loose in the mansion? My guess is damn good TV.
Self Helpless [1.10]
- Claude: LET THE SUFFERING BEGIN!!!
Ray Against the Machine [1.13]
- Morreski: You're my father!
- Mike Rowland as Ray.
- Kurt Firla as Jake Oswalt.
- Stephen Kishewitsch as Morreski.
- Joseph Motiki as Dr. D.
- Francisco Trujillo as Rico.
- Bridget Ogundipe as Minou.
- Stephanie Jung as Chi-Chi.
- Michael Lamport as Claude.
- Stacey DePass as Bobbie.