Markiplier

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Markiplier, real name Mark Edward Fischbach (born June 28, 1989), is a comedian, YouTube personality, and video game commentator.

Video game commentary[edit]

Ao Oni (August 2013)[edit]

  • [to his phone] "Shaddup!" [groaning, then laughing] "...It's my mom!"
  • [after finally pushing his first chair; pauses] "...OH, COME ON! How was I supposed to [know I had to] do that?! You son of a bitch!"
  • "If there was just - just - a purple monster sitting in a corner, waiting for me to walk over it, I would shit myself dry. I would absolutely lose all control of my bowels!"
  • "Why is this good? Why bruh... this good?" [Ao Oni bursts in.] "AAGH - ! …What the hell?! How was I supposed to do anything?! What was that?!"
  • "Oh, if that blue bastard, is just stickin' around -" [find a candle stand, which startles him] *gasp* "...That's new!"

SuperHOT prototype (September 15, 2013)[edit]

  • [begins the game; gets startled by the enemy character flying away from him] "Okay—UH! …Well, that startled the crap outta me."[1][2]
  • "'Get Back And Do Your Job'. How 'bout you go fornicate yourself with a rake?"[1]

Outlast (September 4~8, 2013)[edit]

  • "! ...What was that?! What the hell was that?! What did you just throw at me?! ...[I] wasn't ready for that! Jeezus! Calm down!"[3]
  • "That guy was, like, in full body armor! How'd they kill him?"[3]
  • "…Well! Glad you're being so polite about this. You're very civil—oh my god! I didn't blo[ck]… I didn't mean to look down! Ugh! They're naked! They are sooo naked! Oh my god!"[4]
  • "Little piggy no no little piggy go home!"

Dr. Wernicke: [when Miles Upsher finally dies] Gott im himmel… You…have become the host.
Markiplier: Is that why you shot me? [Gunfire and flesh-rending in background cause him to recoil.][5]

Calm Time (November 23, 2013)[edit]

  • "'Oh my god, you stabbed her! You killed her! HELP! HE KILLED HER! HE STABBED HER WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE!' …I'm very sorry."[6]
  • "'Press Control to calm yourself'." [breathes and presses Control key] "Oh, that just crouches me. How does that calm myself?"
  • "Oh my god, that is so morbid!"
  • "Good god! Don't do that to me! I'm not in a disposition to handle that - wait a minute. …Uh… Lady…? Are you… Are you that lady, but in ghost -" [Cell phone in background] "Shut up; I don't have time for this!"
  • "Oh my god…! That was incredibly loud!"
  • "That scared the buhjeezus outta me!"
  • "Aauuh, I don't wanna kill the kid!" … "Aw, that's so sad! I'm not gonna kill him. Well, I'm not gonna kill him first, anyway."
  • "What is that? Is that Slender Man?" [gets closer] "Oh, no. I saw that thing; it looked like a giant, white box-head."
  • "Nonononono…! You don't see anything…"
  • [when the ghost woman appears behind him] "WWWWhoa-kay, back up there, lady…"
  • "…Dammit, where the hell are these guys? They're nowhere to be found."
  • "Jeezus, lady, you need to stop that right now. I do not take kindly to that…! You're being very creepy…!"
  • [when he finally attacks the child] "No - aw, no, no, no! Aw, no! Auh, I feel so bad! But remember, guys: this is just a game…" [nerves himself, then puts the child out of his misery, to put it bluntly; palms his forehead in shame] "Nhhhh… That's awful!" [turns to find the ghost woman standing behind him again] "Jeezus! Stop that, lady!"

Rust (December 21~, 2013)[edit]

Bob "muyskerm"[immediately after eating raw chicken; recoils] Oh, good gozzit! Oh my god![7]
Mark: What? What d'you do?
Bob: I-I… I ate it…
Mark: Ohhhh.
Bob: [gasps] Oh, my god, I just threw up!
Mark: [starts laughing]
Bob: That was the most horrifying thing that's ever happened to me! I think I have salmonella! …What the f…?!
Mark: You know -
Bob: Oh, my god! I'm throwing up! Do you hear that sound?!
Mark: I do not!
Bob: Oh my god, that's horrifying! [pulls off his headphones]
Mark: I wish I was recording that!

[...]

Bob: Oh, no - oh, god, it's still happening! I'm gonna throw up! Ahhhhhh!

  • "Damnit, I turned up your mike! Why did I turn it up?!"[7]

Terrorift (Oculus Rift) (February 12, 2014)[edit]

  • "Okay, that thing is gone. I think, I hope—" [ROAR-ing noise] "NO, IT'S NOT! AHHHHH!"[8]
  • "…Why are you just there?"

Dungeon Nightmares (April 26, 2014)[edit]

  • "And now it says 'press B to blow.' Really?"[9]

References[edit]

  1. a b Markiplier (September 15, 2013). SuperHOT. YouTube.
  2. SUPERHOT - an FPS where time moves only when you move (2014). Retrieved on July 9, 2014.
  3. a b Markiplier (September 4, 2013). Outlast | Part 1 | THE TERROR BEGINS. YouTube.
  4. Markiplier. Outlast Part 3. YouTube.
  5. Markiplier (September 8, 2013). Outlast | Part 12 (Final) | THE END?. YouTube.
  6. Markiplier (November 23, 2013). Calm Time | MOST DISTURBING GAME. YouTube.
  7. a b Markiplier (December 21, 2013). LAUGHING TIL IT HURTS. YouTube.
  8. Markiplier (February 12, 2014). WARNING: EXTREMELY SCARY | Terrorift. YouTube.
  9. Error on call to Template:cite web: Parameters url and title must be specified (26-4-2014).

External links[edit]

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