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Matilda (film)

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Matilda is a British/American 1996 TriStar/Sony Home Entertainment Films fantasy comedy film about a young girl who is extremely smart and loves reading and who has difficulties in life in the form of her disapproving parents Harry and Zinnia and her brother Michael Wormwood plus her terrifying headmistress at school. Matilda soon finds that she has telekinetic powers which allow her to control things with her mind.

Directed by Danny DeVito and written by Nicholas Kazan and Robin Swicord, based on the novel of the same name by Roald Dahl.
Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world.

Matilda

[edit]
  • No more Ms. Nice Girl.
  • Check it if you don't believe me.
  • I really hope you have a search warrant. According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison.
  • The young woman is you!
  • But don't people need good cars? Can't you sell good cars, Dad?
  • Just kidding.
  • For what, Miss Trunchbull?
  • You're very brave, Miss Honey.
  • [Harry: Young lady, where were you?] Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because a boy ate some chocolate cake.

Harry Wormwood

[edit]
  • I did not glue my hat to my head! The hat shrunk! The fibers fused to my hair!
  • The library? You've never set foot in a library. You're only four years old.
  • Get in the car, Melinda!
  • You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! Sit up and look at the TV!
  • What're they gonna do? Repossess the kid?
  • I'm great. I'm incredible. Michael, pencil and paper in the kitchen.

Zinnia Wormwood

[edit]
  • Mine are driving me crazy. I'll tell ya, six hours a day of school is not enough.
  • [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did.
  • Harry! I won! I won! I hit the double bingo! Come on, everybody. I'm taking you all to Café Le Ritz.
  • Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! I mean, take a look at you and me. You chose books - I chose looks. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband... and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. You want Matilda to go to college?

Miss Jennifer "Jenny" Honey

[edit]
  • Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her.
  • Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. Lissy Doll, I called her. Would you like some milk?
  • Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night. I know that I-- [Miss Trunchbull: I broke your arm once before, I can do it again, Jenny.] I am not seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull.
  • Okay, listen up, everybody. Have a new student with us today. This is Matilda Wormwood. I'd like you to sit here with Lavender.
  • I'd be happy to walk her home. [Zinnia: Well, nobody will be there. We're moving to Guam. Come on. Let's go.] Guam?

Trunchbull

[edit]
  • I need a car that is inexpensive, but reliable. Can you service me? [Harry: As a matter of speaking, yes. Welcome to Wormwood Motors. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever.] Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. I warned you, sir. I want a tight car, because I'm on a tight ship. [Harry: Oh yeah, huh? Uh…] My school is a model of discipline. "Use the rod, beat the child". That's my motto. [Harry: Terrific motto.] Do you have any brats for yourself? [Harry: Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mistake, Matilda.] They're all mistakes, children. Filthy and nasty things. I'm glad I never was one. [Harry: Uh-huh. Well, since you're an educator, I'm gonna make you a great deal.] You'd better. [Harry: Let's do business!]
  • The distance the shot put goes depends upon the effort you put into it! PERSPIRATION!
  • Hop to, hippity-hop! The entire school will go to the assembly room, immediately. Sit!
  • Shut up! The entire school will stay another FIVE HOURS after school and copy from the dictionary! Any child who object will go straight into the Chokey... TOGETHER!
  • Useless flaming CAR! [storms towards Matilda] Wormwood! Sell me a lemon? [drags her through the hallways] You're heading for the Chokey, young lady! [Matilda: The Chokey?!] Teach you a lesson! [Matilda: What lesson?!] You and your father think you can make a fool out of me! [Matilda: My father?] The guy with the stupid haircut! [Matilda: I'm nothing like my father!] You're the spitting image! The apple never rots far from the tree!
  • WHY are all these women married?! Mrs. D? Mrs. I? You're supposed to be teaching spelling, not poetry!
  • [the kids giggle as they notice the newt in her glass of water] What’s funny? Hmm? Well, spit it out! Speak up! I like a joke as well as the next fat person!
  • [to Matilda] You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat! You're the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! Am I wrong? I'm never wrong! In this classroom, in this school, I AM GOD!
  • I'll be watching you, each and every one. When you turn the corner, when you go to your little cubbies to get your smelly little coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you. All of you! [pointing at Matilda] And especially you!
  • [on phone to Harry] WORMWOOD! You useless used-car salesman scum, I want you around here NOW! With another car! Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom, I'm gonna take that no-good jalopy you sold me and SHOVE IT UP YOUR BAZOOKA! When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like ROADKILL! You what?
  • I am here to teach you all a lesson! [forcefully pushes a set of desks into the wall] Sometimes in life, horrible and unexplainable things happen. [kicks more desks into the wall] These things are a test of character! [pushes more desks into the wall] And I have character!
  • You… will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you!

Lavender

[edit]
  • The Trunchbull used to be in the Olympics: Shot-put, javelin, hammer throw. The hammer throw was her specialty.

Bruce Bogtrotter

[edit]
  • I don't know what you're talking about.
  • Well, it's hard for me to remember a specific cake.

Michael "Mikey" Wormwood

[edit]
  • Could you repeat the last one?
  • Give me the cookies.
  • Bummer.
  • Hey, dip face, Have carrot!

[throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] Hey, Dip face. Have a marshmallow. Have another marshmallow, Dip face. Dip face!

Others

[edit]
Cookie: Entire confection.
Amanda: My mommy thinks they're sweet.
Mrs. Phelps: In that room right over there. Would you like me to pick you out one with lots of pictures in it?
Hortensia: You squirts better skedaddle. I'm not kidding. The Trunchbull likes to snap a whip in there to see who's trying to hide.
FBI Agent Bill: I've got 9:18.
FBI Agent Bob: [into recorder] 9:17 is correct.
Mickey: Are you ready to get sticky with Mickey?

Dialogue

[edit]
[We start with a close-up of a baby girl's face as the camera then pulls back from her. She's in a nursery room in a hospital]
Narrator: [first lines] Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Some will grow to be butchers or bakers or candlestick makers. Some will only be really good at making a Jell-O salad. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. [a nurse picks up the baby girl and shows her to a man, who grumbles and walks off] Most parents believe that their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. Others take a less emotional approach.
[Outside, adults look at their newborns. The man, Harry Wormwood, walks beside his wife, Zinnia Wormwood]
Harry: What a waste of time.
Zinnia: And painful.
Harry: And expensive! $9.25 for a bar of soap?
Zinnia: Well, I had to take a shower, Harry.
Harry: $5,000?! I'm not paying it! What are they gonna do, repossess the kid? [puts the baby girl in the back of his car. Looking back at her, a boy named Michael Wormwood, Harry and Zinna's son, waves a toy, making her anxious. Harry jerks the car forward, causing the baby to slide. He hits the gas pedal, causing the baby girl to slide back] There's no way out.
Zinnia: Make a U-turn. [as Harry makes different turns in every direction, the baby girl looks dizzy] Harry!
Harry: All right.
[The car speeds over speedbumps]
Zinnia: [voice vibrating] Harry!
[Later, in a neighborhood]
Boy: The Wormwood guy is back!
Narrator: Harry and Zinnia Wormwood lived in a very nice neighborhood, in a very nice house. But they were not really very nice people.
[The Wormwoods arrive at their home]
Harry: Get outta the street, ya little dodos!
[As Harry, Zinnia and Michael enter the house, the baby girl is still in the car]
Narrator: The Wormwoods were so wrapped up in their own silly lives that they barely noticed that they had a daughter. Had they paid attention to her at all they'd have realized she was a rather extraordinary child.
[The baby girl is sitting on the night bar]
Zinnia: Oh, my gosh, Matilda, now look what you did!
Narrator: They named her Matilda.
[As Matilda writes her name on green baby food, Zinnia wipes it off]
Zinnia: You're supposed to eat the spinach. Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! [picks her up and puts her in the sink] Babies. You're better off raising tomatoes!
[Matilda, now older, wipes her face with a rag]
Narrator: By the time she was 2 years old, Matilda had learned what most people learn in their early 30s: How to take care of herself. [Now 4 years old, Matilda gets dressed] As time went by, she developed a sense of style. Every morning, Matilda's older brother, Michael, went to school.
Michael: Bye, Mom!
Zinnia: Get outta here.
Narrator: Her father went to work, selling used cars for unfair prices.
Zinnia: Make money.
Narrator: And her mother took off to play Bingo.
Zinnia: Soup's on the stove. Heat it up if you get hungry.
[As each of the Wormwoods leave, Matilda watches]
Narrator: Matilda was left alone. That was how she liked it.
[As the background song "Send Me on My Way" by Rusted Root plays, she then turns to the can of soup and throws it away. Later, she cracks some eggs into a bowl, places some flour in and mixes them all together with a hand mixer. Next, she pours the mixture into pancake sizes on a pan on the stove. Once the sides of the pancakes are cooked, she flips them over. Later, she flips them out of the pan where they land on a plate. She lifts the plate up, places a flower in a small vase and begins to eat her nicely cooked pancakes whilst reading some magazines.]
Narrator: By the time she was four, Matilda had read every magazine in the house. [The scene changes to the living room where the family are watching TV, Matilda walks up to her father] One night she got up her courage and asked her father for something she desperately wanted.
Harry: A book? What do you want a book for?
Matilda: To read.
Harry: To read? Why would you wanna read when you got the television set sittin’ right in front of ya? There's nothin’ you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster.
[Michael, who is struggling to watch the TV because his sister is in his view, leans and drags her out of his view.]
Michael: Get out of the way!
[Matilda watches with displeasure as her family is not going to listen. Harry briefly belches.]
Narrator: Matilda already knew that she was somewhat different from her family. She saw that whatever she needed in this world, she'd have to get herself.
[The scene changes where Matilda watches her family leave the house that morning.]
Harry: Bye!
Zinnia: Ciao! [to Matilda] There's fish fingers in the microwave. [leaves]
Narrator: The next morning, after her parents left, Matilda set off in search of a book.
Matilda: Where's are the children's books, please?
Mrs. Phelps: In that room right over there. Would you like me to pick you out one with lots of pictures in it?
Matilda: No, thank you. I'm sure I can manage.
[She walks to the room as Mrs. Phelps looks on with surprise. Matilda arrives in the children's books section and picks a book, before she sits on a small comfy chair and starts to read it. The next day shows Matilda walking to the traffic lights, where they turned green to allow pedestrians to cross the road. She walks to the library and reads another book.]
Narrator: From then on, every day, as soon as her mother went to bingo, Matilda walked the ten blocks to the library, and devoured one book after another. [She giggles upon reading, as Mrs. Phelps hears her whilst working. Matilda places some books on a table, before she puts them back.] When she finished all the children's books, she started wandering around in search of something else. Mrs. Phelps, who had been watching her with fascination for the past few weeks, offered Matilda some valuable library information.
[Mrs. Phelps watches Matilda looking around the library and decides to talk to her. The next scene shows them talking in another section of the library.]
Mrs. Phelps: You know, you can have your very own library card, and then you could take books home, and you wouldn't have to walk here every day. You can take home as many as you'd like.
Matilda: That would be wonderful.
[The next scene shows Matilda carrying a number of books in her pull wagon. The shot fades to show that different books are placed in the wagon.]
Narrator: So, Matilda's strong, young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world, like ships onto the sea. [As the 4-year-old Matilda walks in the park with her wagon, the shot fades to the 6-year-old Matilda still walking in the park.] These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message; you are not alone.
[She watches some children playing in a playground before she sits under a tree and reads her book. The scene changes where Matilda is reading "Ivanhoe" in her bedroom as Harry opens the door.]
Harry: Any packages come today?
Matilda: Mm-mm.
Harry: [about the books] Where'd all this come from?
Matilda: The library.
Harry: "The library?!" You never set foot in the library, you're only four years old!
Matilda: I'm six and a half.
Harry: You're four!
Matilda: Six and a half.
Harry: If you were six and a half, you'd be in school already!
Matilda: I want to be in school. I told you I was supposed to start school in September. You wouldn't listen.
Harry: [grabs his daughter's arm and drags her out of her bedroom] Get up! Get up! Get out here. Give me that book. [takes his daughter's book and throws it on the ground aside, briefly catching his son's attention. Harry takes his daughter to their bedroom where his wife is applying peroxide in her hair] Dearest pie, how old is Matilda?
Zinnia: Four.
Matilda: I'm six and a half, Mommy.
Zinnia: Five, then.
Matilda: I was six in August.
Harry: You're a liar.
Matilda: I wanna go to school.
[Zinnia snickers]
Harry: [scoffs] School! It's out of the question. Who would be here to sign for the packages? [applies his hair tonic into his hair] We can't leave valuable packages sitting on the doorstep. Now go watch TV like a good kid.
[Matilda begins to look upset and turns to leave]
Zinnia: You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl.
Harry: Hm. Tell me about it.
[In the hallway:]
Michael: Hey, dipface! [throws some marshmallows at at Matilda, as she walks to her bedroom, ignoring his brother] Have a marshmallow. Have another marshmallow, dipface! Dipface!
[his sister goes to her room and closes the door]
[in her bedroom, some teardrops fall onto one of the pages in a book as Matilda is sobbing a bit. She hugs her doll]'
Narrator: Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, someone like the kind, courageous people in her books. [she closes the book and gazes at the front cover where it shows the illustration of Ivanhoe] It occurred to her that, like talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb, such people might exist only in storybooks. But Matilda was about to discover that she could be her own friend, [the next scene shows Harry joyfully running to the house, laughing] that she had a kind of strength that she wasn't even aware of.
[Harry goes into the house, smiling]
Harry: I'm great! I'm incredible! Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen.
Zinnia: Did we sell some cars today, honeydew?
Harry: Did we! :[kisses his wife as his son grabs a notebook and a pencil]
Zinnia: [as she, her husband, and her son walk to the table where her daughter is reading a book] Does that mean I can get that new TV?
Harry: Yeah! Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. And it's time that you've learned the family business. Sit down, and write this down.
[Michael sits down and starts writing]
Harry: All right. The first car that your brilliant father sold cost $320. I sold it for $1,158. The second one costs $512. I sold it for $2,269!
Michael: Wait, Dad, you're going too fast.
Harry: Just write. The third cost $68. I sold it for $999. And the fourth cost $1,100. I sold it for 7,839 big American boffos!
Zinnia: Harry! :[kisses her husband]
Harry: What's my profit for the day?
Michael: Could you repeat the last one-?
Matilda: $10,265.
[Harry, Zinnia and Michael staring at her]
Matilda: Check it if you don't believe me.
Harry: [checks the paper with Zinnia and Michael] You're a little cheat, you saw the paper.
Matilda: From all the way over here?
Harry: [confused] Are you being smart with me? [angrily approaches Matilda and points his finger at her] If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're gonna be punished.
Matilda: Punished for being smart?
Harry: [angrily] For being a smart aleck! [leans down to her level] When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson.
Matilda: [confused] "Person"?
Harry: Get up! Get up! Go on! [pulls Matilda's ear, drags her to her room, and shuts the door]
Narrator: Harry Wormwood had unintentionally given his daughter the first practical advice she could use. He meant to say, "When a child is bad". Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Only when they deserved it, of course.
[Matilda looks at the alarm clock on the side table. Then, she quietly sneaks over to the makeup salon. Matilda spots her father's hair tonic which is "Oil of Violets" and grabs it. Then, she looks around and sees her mother's peroxide bottle. She then pours out some of the hair tonic, but leaves enough in. She looks back to see if her parents are waking up, but they aren't. Matilda finishes placing some of the peroxide into the hair tonic. Just as she is screwing the cap back on, the alarm clock goes off. Harry turns it off and slowly gets up just as Matilda puts the hair tonic and the peroxide back. She looks to see if Harry notices her, but he didn't. Then, she crawls into another room unnoticed just as Harry begins to cough. Harry then walks from the bed and into the bathroom. Matilda sees if the coast is clear and then plans to make her escape, but Zinnia shoots up from the bed. Matilda makes a quiet gasp, but Zinnia still had her eye-mask on, and Matilda quietly sighs in relief and leaves the room, before Zinnia takes off her eye-mask. Harry grabs his bottle of hair tonic.]
Harry: Michael, come into my room!
[he sprinkles some hair tonic onto his scalp]
Michael: What?
Harry: My boy! Today's the day I take you to the shop. What do ya say?
Michael: I don't know. What do you say, Dad?
Harry: I say appearance is nine-tenths of the law. People don't buy a car. They buy me. Which is why I take such good care of myself. Well-oiled hair. Clean shaved. Snappy suit. Now run along and get ready for a big day of learning, kid. And it's gonna be a big day of learning, too. There's a sucker born every minute, and we're gonna take 'em for all they've got.
Michael: Give me the cookies.
Zinnia: Here.
[Matilda puts peroxide in her father's hair tonic, bleaching his hair blonde]
Harry: OK, my boy! Heir to the throne. Today, we diddle the customer.
[Michael drops his cookie, astonished]
Harry: What's wrong with you? What are you looking at? Lovekins, where's my breakfast?
Zinnia: Here we are, my heartstrings. [sees her husband, shrieks, and throws two bowls of cereal in the air] Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair?
Harry: [confused] My hair?! [goes to a mirror as Zinnia and Michael watch, he sees his hair dyed blonde. He screams, and falls sideways to the floor. Stifling a laugh, Matilda takes a drink]
[FBI agents Bill and Bob are surveilling the Wormwood residence from across the street. Harry is outside, Matilda and Michael are holding car parts]
Harry: Give me those things! Give me that! Where are you going with those? Give me those. Get in the car! [Harry grabs the car parts] Go on. [Michael and Matilda hop in the car] Get in.
Narrator: Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long. Especially when the FBI gets involved.
[FBI Agent Bill is reading a newspaper trying not to draw attention to him and Bob]
FBI Agent Bob: [into recorder] 9:17, suspect exits domicile.
FBI Agent Bill: I've got 9:18.
FBI Agent Bob: [into recorder] 9:17 is correct.
Harry: Michael, one day all this will be yours.
Michael: This?
Harry: See this junker? I paid a hundred dollars for her. She's got 120,000 miles on her. Transmission's shot, bumpers are falling off. What do I do with her, hmm? I sell her! [brushes Super Super Glue on the bumper] We really should weld these bumpers on, but that takes time, equipment, money. So we use 'Super Super Glue' instead. [to Michael and Matilda] Go ahead. Put it on there.
Michael: Won't it fall off?
Harry: Definitely.
Matilda: Isn't that dangerous?
Harry: Not to me. Okay? [pours sawdust into the transmission] Transmission… The sawdust quiets the gears and lets the motor run as sweet as a nut, for a couple a miles.
Matilda: Daddy, that's cheating.
Harry: Of course that's cheating. Nobody ever got rich being honest. [picks up a drill that's hooked up to the odometer] Twenty years ago, we could turn the numbers back by hand, but, here, take my hat! [gives Michael his hat, who puts it down] But the feds like to test the ingenuity of the American businessman. Two directional drill. You run it backwards, the numbers go down. Watch the speedometer.
Michael: Cool.
Harry: See?
Michael: Yeah.
Matilda: Daddy, you're a crook.
Harry: What?
Matilda: This is illegal.
Harry: Here. Keep drilling. [gives Michael the drill as he walks over to Matilda] You make money? Do you have a job?
Matilda: No. But don't people need good cars? Can't you sell good cars, dad?
Harry: Listen, you little wiseacre. I'm smart; you're dumb. I'm big; you're little. I'm right; you're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it. [as Harry walks away, Matilda spots the hat and super glue and gets an idea]
Zinnia: Harry! I won! I won! I hit the double bingo! Come on, everybody. I'm taking you all to Café Le Ritz.
Harry: Let me see the money.
Zinnia: Never mind.
Harry: Double bingo, huh? Ooh.
Zinnia: God, your hair looks awful. I hope they let you in.
Harry: They'll let me in.
Matilda: [gives Harry his hat] Here's your hat, daddy.
Harry: Get in the car. Go on, get in. How much?
Zinnia: It's for me to know, and you to find out.
Zinnia: It's nice to go out sometimes, isn't it?
Harry: Yeah.
Zinnia: You never take us out.
Harry: Of course, I do. I took you to "The Flipper".
Zinnia: I don't remember any "The Flipper".
Harry: The fish joint. You found that comb in the bouillabaisse.
Zinnia: Oh, yeah. I liked that joint.
Waiter: Bon jour. This way, please.
Zinnia: Harry, take your hat off.
Harry: I can't.
Zinnia: This is a nice place. You can't wear a hat inside.
Harry: I can't take it off.
Zinnia: Harry, nobody cares what your hair looks like.
Harry: I can't get it off.
Zinnia: [trying desperately to get the hat off] What's with this hat?
Harry: I can't get it off. I can't get it off.
Zinnia: Just a minute. I'm gonna get this hat off.
Harry: Pull it. Pull it.
Zinnia: I'm pulling it!
Harry: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Zinnia: I think your head swelled up really bad.
Harry: You're pulling the skin!
Zinnia: You! You're such a baby. Stop it!
Harry: Fibers are fused to the head!
Zinnia: Fibers are fused... What is that supposed to mean?! [she pulls at the hat one last time, flying backwards and tumbling head over heels over a table also sending Harry into a waiter which sends 3 menus into the air. He then falls into a dessert cart which sends some dessert flying as another waiter catches the menus. A fourth menu hits the tines of a fork which lands in a cream tart in front of Matilda. Mikey gets splattered with another cream dessert. Matilda happily takes a forkful of the cream tart]
Harry: I will not be a figure of ridicule! I want respect and I want it now!
Zinnia: I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously you did.
Harry: I did not glue my hat to my head! The hat shrunk, the fibres fused to my hair!
Zinnia: Baby! Wait a minute. I'm getting it now. I'm getting it. One more. Oh, my God.
Harry: From now on, this family does exactly what I say, when exactly when I say it!
Zinnia: Here's your hat, Harry.
Harry: Give me that hat. And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV.
Mickey: Are you ready to get sticky with Mickey?
Crowd: [cheering]
Harry: Shut your light off.
Mickey: I'm just giving it away! For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home!
Matilda: Hi, Dad.
Harry: [very stern] Are you in this family? [Matilda does not answer] Hello? Are you in this family? [switches lamp off] Dinnertime is family time! What is this trash you're reading?
Matilda: It's not trash, Dad, it's lovely. It's called "Moby Dick" by Herman Melville.
Harry: [confused] Moby What?! [angrily grabs the book, and rips the pages] This is filth! Trash!
Matilda: It's not mine, it's a library book!
Harry: Trash! [throws the book on the floor] I'm fed up with all this reading! You're a Wormwood, and it's time you started acting like one! Sit up and look at the TV! [grabs Matilda's head, forcing her to watch TV]
Mickey: The producers are not liable for any skin irritation that may result from playing our game. Get real sticky and get cash for free. All right, that's enough. Let's get sticky!
[Forcing Matilda to watch the TV by holding his hands on the side of her head, the TV suddenly explodes due to Matilda using her powers.]
Matilda: I didn't do it.
Harry: Of course, you didn't do it, you little twit.
Zinnia: I told you that was a cheap set.
Harry: It's not a cheap set. It's a stolen set. Put your light on!
Michael: Bummer.
Narrator: Was it magic or coincidence? She didn't know. It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. Matilda might never have discovered her own great strength of mind were it not for the events that began on the very next day.
Trunchbull: I need a car that is inexpensive, but reliable. Can you service me?
Harry: As a matter of speaking, yes. Welcome to Wormwood Motors. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever.
Trunchbull: Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. I warned you, sir. I want a tight car, because I'm on a tight ship.
Harry: Oh yeah, huh? Uh…
Trunchbull: My school is a model of discipline. "Use the rod, beat the child". That's my motto.
Harry: Terrific motto.
Trunchbull: Do you have any brats for yourself?
Harry: Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mistake, Matilda.
Trunchbull: They're all mistakes, children. Filthy and nasty things. I'm glad I never was one.
Harry: Uh-huh. Well, since you're an educator, I'm gonna make you a great deal.
Trunchbull: You'd better.
Harry: Let's do business. Thank you. Enjoy it. [hands the Trunch the keys to the car]
Harry: Hey, you. You're going to school.
Matilda: I am?
Harry: First thing tomorrow. [Matilda runs up to Harry and gives him a hug] Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. You'll get a real education at this place.
Narrator: Matilda had always wanted to go to school, because she loved to learn. She tried to imagine what her new school would be like.
Harry: Go ahead.
Narrator: She pictured a lovely building surrounded by trees, and flowers and swings. Well, there was a building… And children, so regardless of what Crunchem Hall looked like, she was happy to be there. After all, any school's better than no school at all, isn't it?
Boy: Hey, wait up!
[all shriek as Trunchbull approaches out the school doors and slowly walks down the stairs while suspenseful music plays]
Trunchbull: You, detention. You're too small. Grow up quicker. Heads up. Shoulders back. Stomachs in. Stand up straight.
Lavender: Hey!
Matilda: Sorry.
Trunchbull: Detention for you.
Lavender: That's okay. It's much better than being out there.
Matilda: Is that my teacher?
Trunchbull: Too pink!
Lavender: No. That's the principal, Miss Trunchbull.
Matilda: You've gotta be kidding.
Lavender: Uh-uh.
[another girl, Hortensia, appears]
Hortensia: You squirts better skedaddle. I'm not kidding. The Trunchbull likes to snap a whip in there to see who's trying to hide.
Trunchbull: Stomach in! Change those socks! Too pink!
Matilda: I'm Matilda.
Lavender: Lavender. [she shakes hands with Matilda]
Hortensia: I'm Hortensia.
Both: Hi.
Matilda: She doesn't really hit children with that riding crop, does she?
Hortensia: No. It's mostly for scare. What she does is worse. Like yesterday, in the second grade, the Trunchbull makes a weekly visit to every classroom, to show the teachers a thing or two about handling kids. And Julius Rottwinkle ate two M&Ms during her lesson.
[A flashback of Julius shows him sneaking M&Ms as the Trunch squeezes his cheeks to make him spit them out, the rest of the students gasp as the Trunch then picks him up and throws him out the window.]
Matilda: And she caught him?
Hortensia: Of course.
Julius: Aaaaaahhhhhhh!
Matilda: Was Julius okay?
Hortensia: After being thrown out the window? Of course he wasn't okay. He lived, if that's what you mean.
Lavender: The Trunchbull used to be in the Olympics: Shot-put, javelin, hammer throw. The hammer throw was her specialty.
Matilda: So she does this all the time?
Hortensia: Better than being put in "The Chokey".
Matilda: The Chokey?
Hortensia: Yeah, the Chokey. [the camera zooms in on the Chokey as Hortensia explains] It's a tall, narrow hole in a wall behind a door. You have to stand in a drippy pipe with jagged edges, and the walls have broken glass with nails sticking out.
Trunchbull: [locks a girl in the Chokey] Get inside, you festering ball of pus!
Matilda: She puts kids in there?
Hortensia: I've been in there twice. Sometimes she leaves you in there all day.
[screen fades to white, then to Matilda]
Matilda: Didn't you tell your parents?
Hortensia: They didn't believe me. I mean, would your parents believe it?
[Matilda thinks about this for a minute as the screen pans to Miss Trunchbull]
Trunchbull: Sixty lines after school: "I must obey Miss Trunchbull."
[screen pans to Matilda]
Matilda: No.
Trunchbull: Out of my way!
Matilda: Here she comes.
Trunchbull: [notices Matilda] Ah. Mmm... Fresh meat!
Amanda: [crying]
Trunchbull: Amanda Thripp.
Amanda: Yes, Miss Trunchbull?
Trunchbull: What are those? [referring to her pigtails]
Amanda: [in between tears] What's what, Miss Trunchbull?
Trunchbull: Hanging down by your ears.
Amanda: [in between tears] You mean my pigtails?
Trunchbull: Are you a pig, Amanda?
Amanda: [in between tears] No, Miss Trunchbull.
Trunchbull: Do I allow pigs in my school?
Amanda: My mommy thinks they're sweet.
Trunchbull: Your mommy... is a twit! You are chop those off before school tomorrow or I will...
Amanda: But, I don't...
Trunchbull: Come on! But! "But"? Did you say "but"?
Hortensia: [whispering] Hammer throw.
Matilda: [whispering] What?
Lavender: Definitely.
Trunchbull: I'll give you "but"!
[she picks Amanda up and swings her around by her pigtails]
Girl: Good loft.
Boy: Excellent release.
Hortensia: Think she'll make the fence?
Boy: Gonna be a close one.
[Amanda makes the fence lands in some flowers which she scoops up]
All: [cheering]
Trunchbull: Quiet! Get to class before I throw you all in the Chokey.
Matilda: Lavender, what's my teacher like?
Trunchbull: Run, run, run! Faster. Get in. Quickly!
Narrator: But Matilda's teacher, Miss Honey, was one of those remarkable people who appreciates every single child for who he or she is.
[the scene cuts to Ms. Honey's classroom]
Amanda: I scooped these up for you, Miss Honey.
Miss Honey: Oh, how lovely. Thank you, Amanda. Okay, listen up, everybody. Have a new student with us today. This is Matilda Wormwood. I'd like you to sit here with Lavender. All right, could you get her workbook for her, please?
Lavender: Yes, Miss Honey.
Narrator: Miss Honey was a wonderful teacher, and a friend to everyone. But her life was not as simple and beautiful as it seemed. Miss Honey had a deep, dark secret. And though it caused her great pain, she didn't let it interfere with her teaching.
Miss Honey: Well, Matilda. You've come on a very good day, because we're going to review everything we've learned so far. Now, it's all right if you don't know or understand any of this, because you're brand new, but if you do know an answer, just raise your hand. Okay, now we've been working on our two-times tables. Would anyone like to demonstrate? [all raise their hands] Okay. Let's do some together. Two times four is?
Kids: 8.
Miss Honey: Two times six is?
Kids: 12.
Miss Honey: Two times nine is?
Kids: 18.
Miss Honey: Excellent. You've been practicing. Pretty soon you'll be able to do any multiplication, whether it's two times 7?
Kids: 14.
Miss Honey: Very good. Or 13 times 379.
Matilda: Four thousand, nine hundred, and twenty-seven.
Miss Honey: I beg your pardon?
Matilda: I think that's the answer. 13 times 379. Four nine two seven.
[Miss Honey sits down and checks Matilda’s math.]
Miss Honey: It is.
Lavender: Wow!
Miss Honey: Matilda, you know how to multiply big numbers?
Matilda: I read this book last year in mathematics at the library.
Miss Honey: You like to read?
Matilda: Oh, yes. I love to read.
Miss Honey: What do you like to read?
Matilda: Everything. But lately I've been reading Darles Chickens. [Corrects herself] I mean, Charles Dickens. I could read him every day.
Miss Honey: So could I. All right, everyone. Take out your workbooks. Let's start with section three. I'll be back in a moment.
Trunchbull: [throws a handful of darts at pictures on the dartboard on the back of her door] Yippee! Gotcha right in the neck! And you... [Jenny knocks on the door] Come in, come in, whoever you are. Almost got you. Good to see ya, Jen. Good. Good. Good. Time for one of our little heart-to-hearts?
Miss Honey: Actually, it's about the new girl in my class, Miss Trunchbull. Matilda Wormwood.
Trunchbull: Her father says she's a real wart. [As she pours a glass of water] A carbuncle. A blister. A festering pustule of malignant ooze.
Miss Honey: Oh, no. Matilda Wormwood is a very sweet girl, and very bright.
Trunchbull: A bright child?
Miss Honey: Yes. She can multiply large sums in her head.
Trunchbull: So can a calculator.
Miss Honey: Well, I think she might be happier in an older, and more advanced class.
Trunchbull: Ahh! I knew it. You can't handle the little viper, so you're trying to foist her off onto one of the other teachers.
Miss Honey: No, no,no, Miss Truncubull.
Trunchbull: Yes! Typical! Slothful! Cowardice! Listen to me, Jen. [picks up a shot-put ball and throws it at the door] The distance the shot-put goes depends upon the effort you put into it. Perspiration! If you can't handle the little brat, I'll lock her up in the chokey!
Trunchbull: Get it?
Miss Honey: Yes, Ma'am.
Trunchbull: One day, Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good and the good of those putrescent little children!
Zinnia: [on the phone] Get back at Tiffany, when she was having that baby.
Matilda: Mom. I'm home.
Zinnia: Hi. How was school?
Matilda: School was great. My teacher lets me do sixth grade work. Look. Algebra and geography,
Zinnia: [back on phone] The thing with Valerie's brother. You're kidding? Hold on a minute. Can't you see I'm in the middle of an important phone call?
Matilda: Well, you just asked me how school was.
Zinnia: Quiet! …Well, what else was she supposed to do? The baby wasn't his.
Matilda: Well, it was really great.
Zinnia: No way. They've gotta be implants.
Matilda: The principal is insane. She threw a girl over the fence by her hair.
Zinnia: It would change your life, too, if you waxed yours. I'm positive.
Matilda: I have the most wonderful teacher.
Zinnia: Mine are driving me crazy. I'm telling you. Six hours a day at school is not enough.
Matilda: I'll say.
[Nighttime, Zinnia watches a wrestling match on TV. Harry imitates to wrestle with Michael. Sitting in the arm-chair, Matilda does her homework]
Harry: Whack to the belly! A smack in the face. Another smack in the face! Burns is hurt! He's on the rope, ladies and gentlemen! [a doorbell is heard] Saved by the bell! [suddenly confused] The packages are at this hour?
Zinnia: Come here. [straightens her husband's hair with a hairbrush] Okay.
[Harry answers the door to Jenny]
Miss Honey: Hello.
Harry: We don't give money, we don't like charities, and we don't buy raffle tickets. [goes to rudely shut the door in Jenny's face]
Miss Honey: [stops him] Mr. Wormwood, I'm Jennifer Honey, and I'm Matilda's teacher.
[Matilda looks up from doing her homework]
Harry: What has she done now? [to Matilda] You! Go to your room, right now! Right now! Beat it! [Matilda walks off; back to Jenny] Look, whatever it is, she's your problem now.
Miss Honey: [stopping Harry from closing the door again] No. There's no problem.
Harry: Then beat it. We're watching TV.
Miss Honey: [stops Harry from closing the door once more, and glares at him] Mr. Wormwood, if you think watching some rotten TV show is more important than your daughter, then maybe you shouldn't be a parent. Now, why don't you turn that darn thing off and listen to me?
Harry: [sighs in frustration and in defeat] All right. Come on in. Let's get this over with. Mrs. Wormwood is not gonna like this. Come on, get it. [Jenny finally enters the house] Close the door.
[Jenny obeys]
Zinnia: Who is it?
Harry: Some teacher. Says she's gotta talk to you about Matilda.
[Harry shuts the TV off]
Zinnia: What did you do that for? He had Velasquez on the ropes.
Harry: What do you want?
Miss Honey: I'm sure you're aware by now that Matilda has a brilliant mind.
Harry: Yeah. Right! Mikey, give me a beer.
[Michael throws Harry a beer]
Miss Honey: Her math skills are simply extraordinary. She's reading material…
Michael: Want one?
Miss Honey: No thank you, dear. Material that I didn't see until my second year of college.
Zinnia: [mocking] Oh, college.
Harry: Great. College.
Miss Honey: I really feel with private instruction that she'd be ready for college in just a few, short years.
Zinnia: Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent. I mean, take a look at you and me. You chose books. I chose looks. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband.… And you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. You want Matilda to go to college? Ha, ha, ha ha...
Harry: College? I didn't go to college. I don't know anybody who did. Buncha hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha...
Miss Honey: Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate.
Harry: [scoffs]
Miss Honey: Or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college too.
[Matilda is eavesdropping with a scared look on her face knowing she was the one who’s told Miss Honey about her dad’s shady business practices]
Harry: What car? Sued by who? Who you been talking to?
Miss Honey: Nobody. …Oh, dear. I can see we're not going to agree, are we? No. …I'm sorry I burst in on you like this. Sorry.
Zinnia: We oughta sue her for interrupting our show.
Harry: Tell me about it! Why's he standing in the middle of the ring? [The fight is now over, Miss Honey leaves a copy of The Wind in the Willows by the front door]
Matilda: [whispering] Thank you.
Miss Honey: [whispering] Tomorrow.
Zinnia: He's standing in the middle of the ring 'cause it's over.
Harry: We missed it?
Zinnia: Great. It's over.
Harry: Who won?
Zinnia: How do I know? You shut it off!
Harry: Was it my fault she came in the middle of the fight?
Trunchbull: Hop to! Hippity hop! The entire school will go to the assembly room immediately. SIT! [kids sit down]
Matilda: What's up?
Lavender: Beats me.
Trunchbull: [hits rod against left hand twice] Bruce Bogtrotter. [students gasp as screen zooms to Bruce] Would little Brucey come up here, please?
Lavender: Uh-oh. He lives on my block.
Trunchbull: This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief. You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you?
Bruce: I don't know what you're talking about.
Trunchbull: Cake. Chocolate cake. You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate my personal snack! [its rod at Bruce] Do you deny it? Confess.
Bruce: Well, it's hard for me to remember a specific cake.
Trunchbull: This one was mine, and it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world.
Bruce: My mom's is better.
Trunchbull: It is, is it? How can you be sure unless you have another piece? Sit down, Bog. [taunting him with the piece of cake] Here we go. Smells chocolatey, eh? Now, eat it.
Bruce: I don't want any, thank you.
Trunchbull: EAT IT!
Lavender: [whispers] Don't eat it.
Boy: She wouldn't give him cake.
Girl: It's poison.
Boy: Something's up.
Trunchbull: [Bruce has eaten the piece of cake she gave him] You look like you enjoyed that, Brucey.
Bruce: Yes, ma'am.
Trunchbull: You must have some more.
Bruce: No, thanks.
Trunchbull: But you'll hurt cook's feelings. Cookie. [Cookie uncovers the whole cake, from which a slice had been cut] She made this cake just for you to have on your very own. Her sweat and blood went into this cake. And you will not leave this platform until you have consumed the entire confection!
Cookie: Entire confection. See ya at lunch.
Trunchbull: Thank you, Cookie.
Cookie: Rotten kids. [walks away]
Trunchbull: You wanted cake, you got cake. Now eat it!
[The children gasp]
Lavender: Poor Brucey. He's going to puke. I can't look. Is he going to puke?
Matilda: Without a doubt.
Hortensia: Bruce looks real bad.
Trunchbull: Give up?
Matilda: [stands up and encourages Bruce to finish the cake] You can do it, Brucey!
[the other kids join in]
Hortensia: Yeah, you can do it!
Boy: Go, Bruce!
Students: Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! [excited clamoring]
Trunchbull: Silence!
Bruce: Yes! Yes! Yeah!!!'
Trunchbull: Silence! Stop! Silence! Stop!
Bruce: YEEEEEAH! YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
[Agatha puts her arms out, then breaks the plate on Bruce's head, making him burp and the kids laugh]
Trunchbull: Shut up! The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! Any children who object will go straight into the chokey together!
Harry: Young lady! Where were you?
Matilda: Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because this boy ate some chocolate cake.
Harry: That's the biggest lie I ever heard. You see those packages over there? They were left out for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take ‘em in.
Zinnia: I don't think it's fair, bumpkins.
Harry: What?
Zinnia: You get all this stuff from catalogs, and I don't get anything.
Harry: It's not catalogs. It's car parts, sweetness. It's business.
Zinnia: Oh, if it's business, why don't you have it sent to the office?
Harry: Because the cops may be watching the office.
Matilda: The cops are watching the house.
Harry: What?
Matilda: They're parked outside right now.
Zinnia: You are such an ignoramus. Those are speedboat salesmen. Really nice guys.
Harry: [looks outside] Speedboats? There are no lakes around here.
Zinnia: Yeah, but some people like to go away on the weekends. Some people have fun.
Matilda: And some people are cops…
Harry: They are not cops!
Matilda: Are, too!
Harry: They are not. I oughta know if there's cops watching my house. Now get to bed you lying little earwig.
Narrator: With the FBI watching her father and the Trunchbull terrorizing her school, it was a rare and happy moment when Matilda could just play with her friends.
Lavender: A frog!! A frog!! A frog!!
Matilda: What is it, Lavender?
Lavender: It's a salamander.
Hortensia: It's a chameleon.
Matilda: It's a newt. "Any of the small semi-aquatic salamanders from the genus Triturus".
Bruce: "Some are brightly colored and secrete irritating substances."
Trunchbull: How could you keep going, you useless, flaming car?! Wormwood! [screen pans to Lavender getting inside and Matilda opening her mouth surprised, looking at Trunchbull] Sell me a lemon! You're heading for the chokey, young lady!
Matilda: Chokey?
Trunchbull: Teach you a lesson.
Matilda: What lesson?
Trunchbull: You and your father think you can make a fool out of me!
Matilda: My father?
Trunchbull: The guy with the stupid haircut!
Matilda: I'm nothing like my father.
Trunchbull: You're the spitting image. The apple never rots far from the tree!
[Trunchbull Matilda in the Chokey, makes her stay in there after school for an hour, and locks her inside.]
[while Matilda is kicking and screaming in the Chokey wanting to be free the scene cuts from the Chokey to Matilda's classroom]
Lavender: Miss Honey!!!!!
Miss Honey: Miss Trunchbull teaches our class today, Lavender. Please get a water pitcher.
Lavender: But, Miss Honey!!!!
Miss Honey: Shh! No, quickly. She'll be here any second. Come on. Oh, make sure the water's cold, Lavender. [Lavender pours the glass with the newt into the pitcher]
Miss Honey: Vinny, cover the fish. Put away the art projects. Put away anything colorful. Oh Charley, won't you get those crayons for me?
Narrator: Most great ideas come from hard work and careful planning. Of course, once in a while, they just jump out at you.
Miss Honey: Rayna. Rayna. Cover the birds and the beetles. Hurry! Hurry! I hear her coming! Okay now. Last time, some of you forgot yourselves. Don't speak unless you're spoken to. Don't laugh. Don't smile. Don't even breathe loudly.
Trunchbull: [hits her rod against her hand while Lavender is holding a water glass and jug] Don't breathe at all.
Miss Honey: Good morning, Miss Trunchbull.
Students: Good morning, Miss Trunchbull.
Trunchbull: SIT!!!! [hits rod against her hand again] Shoo. I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. They're the bane of my life. They're like insects.
[Lavender sticks out her tongue]
Miss Honey: Where's Matilda?
Trunchbull: They should be got rid of as early as possible. Fsht! My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children... at all. [laughs]
[Miss Honey looks and sees that Matilda isn’t there. She mouths to Lavender to ask where Matilda is. Lavender puts her hands to her throat to signal that she's in the Chokey]
Trunchbull: Do you agree, Miss Honey?
[Miss Honey nods yes as she leaves the room to free Matilda.]
Trunchbull: [turns back to the boy] Now. You, front of the class!
[Screen pans to Miss Honey opening the door to the Chokey]
Miss Honey: Are you okay?
[Miss Honey rescues Matilda and hugs her]
Trunchbull: [while grabbing a boy by the legs] Next time I tell you to empty your pockets, you'll do it faster, won't you?!
Boy: Yes, Miss Trunchbull!
Trunchbull: Miss Honey, this might be the most interesting thing you've ever done! [Miss Trunchbull drops the boy] Sit down, you squirming worm of vomit!
Boy: Thank you, Miss Trunchbull.
Trunchbull: Get up!! Can you spell?
Amanda: Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. We can spell "difficulty".
Trunchbull: You couldn't spell 'difficulty' if your life depended on it.
Amanda: She taught us with a poem.
Trunchbull: A poem. How sweet. What poem would that be?
Students: Mrs. D. Mrs. I. Mrs. F - F - I. Mrs. C. Mrs. U. Mrs. L - T - Y.
Trunchbull: Why are all these women married?! Mrs. D? Mrs. I? You're supposed to be teaching spelling, not poetry! I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. What's funny? Come on. Spit it out. Speak up. I like a joke as well as the next fat person.
[She looks down and sees the newt. The children laugh]
Trunchbull: It's a snake! It's a snake! It's a snake! One of you tried to poison me! Who? Oh, Matilda. I knew it.
Matilda: I just thought you'd like to know, it's not a snake. It's a newt.
Trunchbull: What did you say?
Matilda: It's a newt, Miss Trunchbull.
Trunchbull: Stand up, you villainous sack of goat slime! You did this!
Matilda: No, Miss Trunchbull.
Trunchbull: Did you act alone, or did you have accomplices?
Matilda: I didn't do it.
Trunchbull: You didn't like the chokey, did you? Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? Well, I'll pay you back, young lady.
Matilda: For what, Miss Trunchbull?
Trunchbull: For this newt, you pissworm!
Matilda: I'm telling you, I didn't do it!
Trunchbull: Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, and I'm right, and you're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it. You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat! You're the most corrupt low-lifes in the history of civilization. Am I wrong? I'm never wrong. In this classroom, in this school, I am God!
[Splash! The glass tips over and the newt lands on Trunchbull, she panics trying to shake it off, everyone in the class laughs]
Trunchbull: You!
Matilda: I didn't move!
Trunchbull: You did this!
Miss Honey: How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here?
Trunchbull: I'll be watching you. Each and every one of you. When you turn the corner. When you go to your little cubbies to get your smelly little coats. When you skip merrily to lunch. I'll be watching you. All of you, and especially you!
Lavender: Thanks for not telling.
Matilda: Best friends don't tell. She can really dance.
Miss Honey: You all go outside, then I'll come out and help fill the birdfeeder. Okay? I'll be out there in a minute.
Matilda: Miss Honey, I did it.
Miss Honey: Did what?
Matilda: I made the glass tip over.
Miss Honey: Oh, sweetheart. Don't let Miss Trunchbull make you feel that way. Nobody did it. It was an accident.
Matilda: I did it with my eyes. Watch. I'll prove it to you.
Miss Honey: It's wonderful you feel so powerful. Many people don't feel powerful at all.
Matilda: Come on, glass. Tip over!
Miss Honey: It's all right, Matilda.
Matilda: I really did it, Miss Honey.
Miss Honey: One of the odd things about life is sometimes you can do something until you want to show someone, and then you can't. Or, sometimes when you think something's broken, and you take it to be fixed…
Matilda: This isn't like that. I don't know. Maybe I made myself tired.
Miss Honey: Matilda, would you like to come over to my house this afternoon?
Matilda: I'd like that very much, Miss Honey.
Miss Honey: Good.
Matilda: I just stare very hard, and then my eyes get all hot, and I can feel the strongness. I feel like I can move almost anything in the world. You do believe me, don't you?
Miss Honey: Oh, I believe that you should believe in whatever power you think you have inside of you. Believe it with all your heart.
[Matilda and Jenny walk past Trunchbull's house]
Miss Honey: That's where Ms. Trunchbull lives.
Matilda: Why is there a swing?
Miss Honey: A girl I know used to live in that house. [cut to a series of flashbacks] Her life was good and happy. When she was just 2 years old, her mother died. Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly.
Matilda: The Trunchbull.
Miss Honey: Yes. And worst of all, when the girl was 5, her father died.
Matilda: How did her father die?
Miss Honey: The police decided he killed himself.
Matilda: Why would he do such a thing?
Miss Honey: No one knows. [cut back to present] The end is happier. She found a small cottage. She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom.
Matilda: Good for her.
Miss Honey: Do you know why I told you this?
Matilda: No.
Miss Honey: You were born into a family that doesn't always appreciate you, but one day things are going to be very different. Shall we go inside and have tea and cookies?
[Matilda and Jenny arrive at the cottage]
Matilda: Yes, please. This is the cottage from your story.
Miss Honey: Yes.
Matilda: The young woman is you.
Miss Honey: Yes.
Matilda: But then... [her eyes widen in realization] No.
Miss Honey: Yes. Aunt Trunchbull. When I left my home Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind.
Matilda: Treasures?
Miss Honey: Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a China face. Liccy doll, I called her. Would you like some milk?
Matilda: Yes, please. Why don't you run away?
Miss Honey: I've often thought about it, but... I can't abandon my children. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all.
Matilda: You're very brave, Miss Honey.
Miss Honey: Not as brave as you.
Matilda: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything.
Miss Honey: Quite the contrary. All grown-ups get scared, just like children.
Matilda: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of.
Matilda: There she is! Shot put.
Miss Honey: Hammerthrow.
Both: Javelin.
Cat: Meow, meow.
Trunchbull: Woof!
Cat: Meow, meow, meow.
Trunchbull: [while shaking keyring] Back, back, back. Back! Back from me.
Matilda: She's afraid of a cat?
Miss Honey: Black cats. She's very superstitious.
Trunchbull: Go! Rrr rrr rrr rrr! Grrrrr! Meow! [Trunchbull kicks the cat, and it scampers away]
Cat: Meow! Meow!!!!
Matilda: Poor kitty!l.
Miss Honey: Oh, he's all right.
Matilda: Hopefully. [Trunchbull drives the car] Let's go get your treasures.
Miss Honey: No, Matilda.
Matilda: Well, she's gone. Come on!
Miss Honey: Matilda!
Matilda: Miss Honey!
Trunchbull: Come on. Move, you piece of junkyard fodder. Uh, shift, you-- No, no. Oof, ooh, ah!
Miss Honey: Woah. My house… Oh my! My father's portrait used to hang there.
Matilda: Whoever painted the Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. A really strong stomach!
Trunchbull: [yelling at she turns the car backwards] Back! Ooh, ooh, back! Back! Yeah! [starts pulling the car]
Miss Honey: We should go. [spots the chocolate box] My father's chocolate box. After supper, he'd take a chocolate, cut it in half, and he'd always give me the bigger half. When he died, Aunt Trunchbull would count them, so I couldn't even sneak one. She'd take a chocolate, raise it to her lips, and say…
Trunchbull: Much too good for children.
Matilda: Have one.
Miss Honey: Oh, no. She'd notice.
Matilda: Where's Liccy doll?
Miss Honey: Upstairs. Matilda! Matilda.
[Trunchbull is seen dragging her car to her house]
Trunchbull: Uh, you! Uh... Uh! You! Uh... Crush the little weevil!
Miss Honey: This is my room. That's my dad.
Matilda: What's his name?
Miss Honey: Magnus. I used to call him "King Magnus", and he called me "Bumblebee".
Matilda: I don't think Magnus killed himself.
Miss Honey: Neither do I.
Matilda: Is that Liccy doll?
Trunchbull: [on phone] WORMWOOD!!!!!! [Matilda and Miss Honey gasp] You useless used-car salesman scum! I want you around here now with another car! Yes. I know what 'caveat emptor' means, you low-life liar! I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom, and I'm gonna take that no-good jalopy and SHOVE IT UP YOUR BAZOOKA! When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like roadkill! You what…? Haha! You...
[Screen pans to the box of chocolates, Trunchbull puts the lid back on then slides the lid under her nose to sniff it]
Miss Honey: Come on.
Matilda: Shouldn't we hide or something?
Miss Honey: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, go to the end of that hallway, down the stairs, and out the kitchen door. I'll distract her.
Trunchbull: Who's in my house?! Hmph! Come on, fight like a man!
Miss Honey: [gasps as she peeks out] [Matilda hears a rattling noise coming down the stairs leading into the kitchen and becomes nervous that the Trunch has caught her, Miss Honey comes down the stairs and Matilda breathes a sigh of relief] Come on, come on. [they run into the basement and look for a way out, they try for the cellar doors, but the doors are locked with a chain and padlock] Come on, over there.
Trunchbull: [in the basement wielding her shot put, looking for Miss Honey and Matilda] Some rats are gonna die today. Huh? [hears a small window closing, runs to the cellar door and pulls the chain and padlock off, she then emerges from the basement swinging the shot put as Matilda ducks trying not to be seen, She swings the shot put at a statue and looks around, then turns around and screams in anger as she heads back into the house]
Miss Honey: Oh, my goodness.
Matilda: Feel my heart. Weren't you the most scared you've ever been in your whole life?
Miss Honey: Come on. Let's go.
Matilda: She shouldn't be allowed to treat people like that. Somebody's got to teach her a lesson. We'll wait until she leaves again, then we'll go get your doll.
Miss Honey: What? [looks at Matilda]
Matilda: Just kidding.
Miss Honey: Come here. Matilda, promise me you will never go back in that house again.
Matilda: I promise.
Miss Honey: Okay. Come on.
[Zinnia is talking to Bill and Bob]
Zinnia: So, he came home with 2,000 dollars cash, and he threw it up in the air, and we both swam in it like we were both on the "Million Dollar Sticky". Do you like that show?
FBI Agent Bill: I love that show.
Zinnia: That was the old days. Now we've got money in banks all over this planet, and does he give me a dime?
[Zinnia has been entertaining the FBI agents]
Zinnia: Matilda, this is Bob and Bill.
Matilda: They're cops.
Zinnia: They're not cops, they're Ace powerboat salesmen.
Harry: [entering] Baby-cakes, I'm starved.
Zinnia: Hi, Harry.
Harry: [sees the agents and looks appalled] Who are you? What is this, a hot tub party? Get the hell out of here! I slave all day, I come home, you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders!
Matilda: They're cops, dad.
FBI Agent Bob: You interested in timeshare?
Harry: Get out of here.
[Harry slams the door on him]
Zinnia: You don't let me talk to people! I live in a cage, Harry! I need to talk to somebody besides those stupid kids!
Harry: Oh, yeah?! Well, A MAN IS ENTITLED TO COME HOME AND FIND DINNER ON THE TABLE, WITHOUT HAVING TO WADE THROUGH A CONVENTION OF MALE STRIPPERS!
Matilda: Dad!
Harry: What do you want?
Matilda: Yell at me, okay?
Harry: SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE!
Matilda: Yell at me again!
Harry: YELL AT YOU? I'LL COME IN THERE AND POUND YOUR MISERABLE HIDE! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GAIN RESPECT AROUND HERE?! I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A TANNING LIKE YOU'VE NEVER HAD IN YOUR LIFE! MY WORD IS MY LAW! YOU UNDERSTAND?! LAW! [Matilda magically closes the door]
Narrator: No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice.
[A series of flashbacks are shown.]
Harry: You're a little cheat. (…You're a Wormwood. It's time you started acting like one! …) What are you, stupid?!? I'm smart, you're dumb. I'm big, you're little.
Trunchbull: The apple never rots far from the tree.
Zinnia: I think there's something wrong with that girl.
Harry: I'm right, you're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it.
Michael: Hey, dip face, here's your book. [Throws book at Matilda]
Harry: You're a Wormwood! It's time you started acting like one! (Time you started acting like one!)
[As the background song "Little Bitty Pretty One" by Thurston Harris plays]
Man on the Radio: That was my personal favorite played especially for all you little bitty pretty ones moving and grooving on this sunny afternoon. Playing music to make you smile, so you'd better not touch that!
FBI Agent Bill: [in the garage searching for the stolen car parts] Shouldn't we have a search warrant to do this?
FBI Agent Bob: Nah! This guy's dirty. Once we show this tape in court, Wormwood's goose is cooked. I'm sure that box is full of stolen car parts. [Matilda is using her powers to move the box as Bob moves the ladder to try and get the box]
FBI Agent Bill: You've been taping all week. How about letting me handle that camera for awhile?
FBI Agent Bob: Do you know how to use it? Do you know about the zoom and the white balance? Do you know how to adjust the eyepiece?
FBI Agent Bill: I can handle it. Besides, it's my turn.
FBI Agent Bob: Yeah. Your turn to drop it.
FBI Agent Bill: I won't drop it. Come on.
Matilda: You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon.
FBI Agent Bill: It's the female minor.
FBI Agent Bob: Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady?
Matilda: I really hope you have a search warrant. According to a constitutional law book I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or go to federal prison.
FBI Agent Bob: It's your father who's going to federal prison. And you know where you'll end up? In a federal orphanage. If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage, the kind with food, teeny-weeny cockroaches. What do you say? [car starts rolling down the hill]
Matilda: There's another crime in the making. Your car is about to run a stop sign. [She uses her powers to make the car roll down the hill. The agents run after the car as she removes the tape from the camera and throws it in the kitchen garbage]
Narrator: So she bought a little time for her dad to come to his senses. But now, Matilda had bigger fish to fry, much bigger.
[light switch off at once]
Harry and Zinnia: [laughing]
Michael: Hey, dip-face, where you are going?
Matilda: Out.
Michael: Hey, dip-face, have a carrot.
[Mikey shoots a carrot with his spoon towards his sister. Michael gasps, Matilda uses her powers to make the carrot shoot back at her brother who chokes on it]
Harry: Chew your food! You're an animal!
Narrator: Having power isn't nearly as important as what you choose to do with it. And what Matilda had in mind was nothing short of heroic.
Matilda: [sitting on top of the Trunch’s garage roof using her powers to get the doll and 2 chocolates from the box] Come on! Come on, Liccy doll. Come, Liccy. Come on! Come on! Come on! Please come here. [She then uses her powers to torture the Trunch]
Trunchbull: Leave me alone!
[She notices the levitating Olympic picture frame and the picture frame goes inside the fireplace which causes her to scream. Then she hears shot put balls falling down the stairs then she sees all the shot put balls bouncing down the stairs. She goes back to the living room.]
Trunchbull: Magnus! [She notices the Magnus picture frame that is levitating down from the second floor and replaced it itself where the Olympics picture frame was hanged before. She stares at the picture frame which causes her to surprise then the clock starts to chime.]
[Gets in her car to leave when she spots a red hair ribbon that gets caught around the door lock and sniffs it. She smiles evilly]
Matilda: Miss Honey! Miss Honey! You'll never believe what I got you.
Miss Honey: Oh, Matilda. Matilda.
Matilda: Oh. I also brought you this. I ate mine last night. [Gives Miss Honey her chocolate]
[Miss Honey hides the doll behind her back]
Trunchbull: I will be teaching your class today.
Narrator: In the time it took Miss Honey to get very, very nervous, Matilda had formulated a plan.
Miss Honey: She is really raving mad.
Matilda: What is it your father used to call you? Hummingbird?
Miss Honey: Bumblebee. I'm sure she knows the doll's missing.
Matilda: And he called her Trunchbull?
Miss Honey: No. I suppose he called her Agatha. Yeah.
Matilda: And she called him Magnus? Right?
Miss Honey: Yeah. Yes. …Maybe I could go back to the house and put the doll back while she's still at school. Oh, no. I can't do that.
Matilda: Calm down, Miss Honey. Really. It's going to be okay. I promise.
Miss Honey: Sweetheart, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house again.
Matilda: I didn't. I was on the garage roof. I did it with my powers.
Miss Honey: Okay. On the garage roof With your powers. I need to think. Let's see. Powers? [Matilda is making the water pitcher levitate; Miss honey keeps pushing it down]
Matilda: Mm. Hmm. I think I've got them down. Watch this. [She makes it levitate once more as Miss Honey swipes her hand under it] No more Miss Nice Girl!
Trunchbull: Get inside! Inside! Quickly, run! Run! Run! Get against the wall! Against that wall. Quickly! Don't make me wait. Water! And hold the newt. Join the ranks! Move! I am here to teach you all a lesson! Sometimes in life, horrible and unexplainable things happen. These things are a test of character, …and I have character! …Form a line across the room, quickly! Run! Run! Run! Don't keep me wait-ing! Fill this gap! I expect you're wondering what I'm talking about, hmm? Yes. A child came to my house. I don't know how. I don't know when. I don't know why. [Holding Matilda’s red hair ribbon]
Miss Honey: Miss Trunchbull, may I…
Trunchbull: No, you may not. But I know a child came. So, did you know it was illegal to enter someone's home without their permission?
Students: Yes, Miss Trunchbull.
Boy: Sir.
Trunchbull: Stand up straight! Stomach in! Shoulders back!
Trunchbull: Do any of you recognize... this? Let's play a little game, shall we? Who was wearing a pretty red hair ribbon yesterday [tauntingly holding it in front of Matilda] and isn't wearing one today? Can you answer me that? Who does this disgusting ribbon belong to?!!? [Throwing it on the ground and spitting on it] I shall personally see to it, that the demented, slime-breathed, little Lilliputian who owns this DISGUSTING ribbon… will never see the light of day again! YOU!!!! [pointing at Matilda]
Miss Honey: Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night. I know that I--
[Trunchbull grabs Miss Honey's wrist and attempts to break it]
Trunchbull: I broke your arm once before. I can do it again, Jenny.
[Miss Honey uses her other hand to get Trunchbull's hand off]
Miss Honey: I am not seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull.
[Everyone gasps]
Trunchbull: Shut your holes! You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you.
[As Trunchbull grabs Matilda until one of students saw something]
Students: Look! [A piece of chalk levitates, as Trunchbull turns around and sees the blinds opening and closing] The chalk! And the blinds!
[The blinds are opening and closing, the chalk is writing on the board]
Students: A G A T H A. [Trunchbull watches in horror as the chalk writes] THIS IS MAGNUS. GIVE MY LITTLE BUMBLEBEE BACK HER HOUSE AND HER MONEY.
Trunchbull: [Fearfully] Money!?
Students: [Continue reading] THEN GET OUT OF TOWN. IF YOU DON'T, I WILL GET YOU. I WILL GET YOU LIKE YOU GOT ME. THAT IS A PROMISE. [Matilda is using her powers to hit the Trunch with the erasers, after a while of being attacked by the erasers, The Trunchbull faints, Matilda opens the blinds with her powers, the students look at Miss Trunchbull’s unconscious body, however, unbeknownst to them, The Trunch opens one eye at the camera, and quickly turns her head towards the other students, scaring them in the process]
Trunchbull: Aaaahhh!
Boy: Aaaahhhhhhh!
[students gasp]
Boy: Aaaahhhhhhhh!
[Students gasp again]
Miss Honey: No, no, no. No. No. Miss Trunchbull. Please don't throw him.
Boy: Aaaahhhhhh! Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
[the Trunch throws a boy out the window. Matilda makes him fly back into the room]
Boy: Woo woo woo! Woo-Hoo! Woo! Woo-Hoo-Hoo! Woo!
[Trunchbull tries to run from the boy, but the boy pushes her on to the globe, Miss Honey silently tells Matilda to spin the globe, which she obeys, Trunchbull spins around in circles until she flies off and falls on to the floor]
[the Trunch is disoriented from Matilda spinning her on the globe and gets back up feeling all dizzy, when the Trunch regains consciousness, she notices Lavender, and charges toward like an angry bull, until Matilda lifts her up as the Trunch crashes through the door and lands on the floor of the hallway, Matilda then uses her powers to summon the student’s lunchboxes to have the students pelt the Trunch with their food]
Amanda: Woah!
Hortensia: It's the Trunch!
[Miss Honey’s class starts to pelt food at Miss Trunchbull]
Bruce: Wow!
Hortensia: Hey, you guys, look at this!
Bruce: Yes!
Matilda: Let go.
Lavender: [slowly levitates safely down to the ground] Wooooooow. Cool. I didn't know I could do that.
Matilda: Pretty good, huh?
[as students continue throwing their food from their lunch boxes at the Trunch, she antt to escape, but gasps in horror at the sight of a gargantuan crowd of other students in front of her, holding food, water balloons, and other objects, ready to hurl them at her, as the Trunch attempts to leave, the army of students assail the Trunch with their food, as she passes by Bruce, Bruce shoves chocolate cake into her mouth]
Bruce: Ha ha! Yeah!
[Trunchbull runs out of the school as the students chase her outside and continue to pelt her with food, while students from the second floor of the school throw water balloons and rolls of toilet paper at her from above, the Trunch retreats to her car, and cowardly drives away in reverse, the students cheer, finally ridding the school of the Trunch for good, while Matilda hugs Lavender]
Narrator: And the Trunchbull was gone. Never to be seen or heard from, never to darken a doorway again.
Narrator: Miss Honey moved back into her father's house. Of course, Matilda was a frequent visitor.
Miss Honey: Tea time.
Matilda: Did you know that the heart of a mouse beats at the rate of 650 times a minute?
Miss Honey: My…. Where did you learn that?
Matilda: In a book. It beats so fast that it doesn't sound like it's beating at all. It sounds like it's humming. A porcupine's heart beats 300 times a minute.
Harry: Wait!
Zinnia: Hey, you. Hey. We're leaving. Let's go. Get in the car. Hurry up. …Let's wrap up these cookies. Come on. We're leaving. Now!
Miss Honey: I'd be happy to walk her home.
Zinnia: Well, nobody'll be there. We're moving to Guam. Come on. Let's go.
Miss Honey: Guam?
Zinnia: Yeah. Daddy's not gonna be in the auto business anymore.
Matilda: I don't want to leave!
Zinnia: We're going on a permanent vacation.
Harry: [from the Wormwood family's car's shotgun window] Yeah, and we've gotta beat the speedboat salesmen to the airport.
Matilda: I love it here! I want to keep going to my school! It isn't fair!
Matilda: [to Miss Honey] Miss Honey? Please don't make them...!
Harry: Get in the car, Melinda!
Matilda: Matilda!
Harry: Whatever.
Matilda: I want to be with Miss Honey!
Zinnia: Miss Honey doesn't want you! Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid?!
Miss Honey: Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child, and I love her.
Matilda: Adopt me, Miss Honey! You can adopt me.
[Harry grabs Matilda and tries to lead her to the car.]
Harry: [to Matilda] Look, I don't have time for all these legalities.
[Harry --after saying this-- holds Matilda in his grasp.]
Matilda: One second, Dad. I have the adoption papers.
[Matilda breaks out from her father's grasp. And she opens her mother's purse and takes out the adoption documents.]
Zinnia: What? Where did you get those?
Matilda: From a book in the library. I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox.
Zinnia: Are you hearing this, Harry?
Harry: [sighs]
Matilda: All you have to do is sign them.
Michael: [from the car window] I am going to be an only child again.
Harry: Shut up! I-I-I can't think with all these sirens. What do you think, pumpkin?
[Zinnia looks for a moment and in dismay, she turns to Matilda.]
Zinnia: You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. I never understood you. Not one little bit. Who's got a pen?
Harry: Here.
Zinnia: Thanks.
Narrator: And doing perhaps the first decent thing they ever did for their daughter, the Wormwoods signed the adoption papers.
Matilda: And here. And here.
Harry: All right. Come on. Turn around. You're not gonna be calling us for support payments, or nothing like that, huh?
Miss Honey: Oh, no. We'll have everything we need. Don't worry.
Harry: All right. Here. Let's roll.
[The scene cuts to Matilda and Miss Honey. Miss Honey --Matilda's teacher --picks up Matilda and hugs her]
Zinnia: Ciao!
[Rusted Root's song "Send Me on My Way" plays]
Narrator: So, Harry and Zinnia got away.
[As the narrator continues narrating, Matilda lives a happy life with her teacher Miss Honey, that is, both at school and Miss Honey's house.]
Narrator: [continues] And as bad as things were before, that's how good they became. Miss Honey was made principal of Crunchem Hall which had to add an upper school because children never wanted to leave. Then Matilda found to her great surprise, that life could be fun. And she decided to have as much of it as possible. After all, she was a very smart kid. But the happiest part of the story was that Matilda and Miss Honey had each gotten what they'd always wanted. A loving family. And Matilda never had to use her powers again. Well, I mean, "Almost never".
[Finally, the scene goes to Matilda's childhood with Miss Honey at night. Matilda on her bed with Miss Honey. Matilda, she uses her powers to pick a book from the shelf. She opens it and starts reading. The book is titled MOBY DICK. This is one of the MOBY DICK books. And it is titled MOBY DICK AND THE WHITE WHALE.]
Matilda: [reading] Call me Ishmael. Some years ago, never mind how long precisely, having little or no money in my purse and nothing particular to...
[The screen fades out into credits.]

Taglines

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  • A little magic goes a long way.
  • Kids Rule!
  • Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world.

Cast

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Wikipedia
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