Melinda and Melinda

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Melinda and Melinda is a 2004 comedy-drama film written and directed by Woody Allen.


  • Life has a malicious way of dealing with great potential.


  • You know, life is manageable enough if you keep your hopes modest. The minute you allow yourself sweet dreams you run the risk of them crashing down.


  • They still talk about my portrayal of King Lear. I played it with a limp.
  • Did I tell you I played Uncle Vanya once? With a limp. It was interesting.
  • Excuse the mess. My cleaning woman just won $60 million, so I gave her the night off.


Melinda: Uh I've been having a bad time so I just took some sleeping pills.
Hobie: Sleeping pills? How many?
Melinda: Uh... 28.
Susan: Oh my God! Hobie, make some black coffee.
Melinda: No, I'm allergic to coffee, but do you have any vodka?

Susan: You look a little carsick.
Hobie: Why, 'cause I'm the color of guacamole?

Susan: I wish we could afford a place in the Hamptons. Everybody who's anybody has one.
Hobie: Yeah, but if you're somebody who's nobody, it's no fun to be around anybody who's everybody.

Hobie: We used to make love all the time and now, there's always an excuse.
Susan: I told you, I'm going through an emotionally difficult time creatively.
Hobie: You feel like we don't communicate anymore?
Susan: Of course we communicate. Now can we not talk about it anymore?

Walt: Maybe you should go back to your shrink. Discuss it.
Hobie: He just recommended Prozac. I think he has stock in the company, honestly.

Melinda: You're the piano player.
Ellis: Not anymore. I'm on a break. A mysterious stranger has, uh, temporarily taken over, and I must say she plays beautifully. Hey, are your eyes misting over?
Melinda: The song... it's meaningful to me. It was playing the night I met someone.
Ellis: So, are they tears of sorrow or tears of joy?
Melinda: Well, aren't they the same tears?
Ellis: Yeah.

Hobie: I think it'd be only fair to tell you. I'm a Liberal.
Stacey: Oh. Are you talking politically, or in the bedroom?
Hobie: I was talking politically. In the bedroom I'm a left-wing Liberal.

Hobie: It's funny, a grown woman outside a door listening in.
Melinda: Oh, by the way, I found a scrap of your pajamas in my door.
Hobie: [sheepishly] Oh...really? You found that. I'll have to tell my laundress.
Melinda: You don't have a laundress.
Hobie: Well, marry me, and we'll get a laundress.
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