Miami 7

Miami 7 aired in England from April 8, 1999 until July 8, 1999, and had sequels, two in America: L.A., and Hollywood; and one in Spain. The band, S Club stars as themselves struggling for success as a band, and they’re none to pleased of their manager, who fails at getting them a gig. They are offered given a gig in Miami, Florida United States. Two brothers at a hotel were looking for entertainment to increase revenues, but the older of two also has the band working odd jobs around the hotel. Each episode has the band perform one of their songs, with expertion of Tie A Yellow Ribbon and Dancing Queen, from their album. The series was instant hit, and it aired in the United States on Fox Family, then ABC Family, which was also succussful, from November 6 1999, February 6 2000

Episode 1: Take Off

Tina: Jon missed a step, and someone was a bit flat on the second chorus. (referring to Paul)

Paul: I started to think about lunch, I completely lost it.

Tina: (sarcastically) Thanks, Paul.

Paul: You’re welcome, Tina.

Tina: But apart from that, I thought we were okay.

---

Tina: Listen, we all have to tell him. We gotta stand firm together. Unity is power.

Jo: Bradley, get over here.

Bradley: Yeah, coming.

Tina: United we stand!

Everyone: Yeah!

Hannah: Divided we…what happens if we’re divided?

Paul: We fall!

Hannah: That’s it!

Bradley: You know what? There should be some Power Rangers type lighten flashing by now, shouldn’t there?

(A lightning bolt hits the band, hurting them)

---

Hannah, Jo, Paul, Rachel, Tina: Hi, Jon.

Jo: All right, Jon. What’s the matter?

Jon: I went for a job interview.

Hannah: And?

Jon: Got some bad news.

Paul: You didn’t get the job?

Jon: Worse.

Rachel and Tina: What?

Jon: I did get the job.

Hannah: Oh, that’s brilliant.

Jo: Hannah, no it’s not.

Jon: I've got a week’s training then I’ve gotta move to London.

Rachel: What about the group?

(Bradley completes the level on the computer)

Bradley: Yes! I’ve done it! I’m a genius! Genius! Yes, I am a genius! What?

---

(They are finally here at the Florida Paradise Hotel)

Bus Driver: Okay, guys. That’s it. This is the end of the road.

Rachel: But where’s the hotel?

Bus Driver: Right there. The Florida Paradise Hotel. (chuckles)

Jo: If this is paradise, I’d hate to see what the hell looks like.

Jon: What did you expect?

(Rachel imagines it is the big hotel in Miami)

Hannah: I said no more imagining.

Bradley: Come on, guys. It can’t be that bad.

(They all come into the Paradise Hotel)

Marvin: Good evening. You must be the S Club 7. Welcome to Florida.

All: Hi.

Marvin: My name is Marvin Borlotti and this is my brother Howard.

Howard: Hello, governors. Go-blimey. Have a cup of Rosie Lee and smack me on a bus with a kipper.

(Group gasps)

Howard: Okay, okay. Welcoming ceremony is now completed. All right. You’re gonna be sleeping across the yard. You’re up at 7:30, work starts at 8am and you better be there on time, or there’ll be big trouble. Nice meeting you. Marvin, get out of that ridiculous outfit.

Bradley: Up at 7:30?

Jo: Work starts at 8am.

Paul: Trouble.

Jon: What if that job at clean eases is still open?

Episode 2: Howard’s Hotel

(Two brothers are outside of the band’s dorm room. The younger of the two has a trumpet, but he’s reluctant to use it)

Howard: Go on.

Marvin: I can’t. It’s too cruel.

Howard: Come on, Marvin, you remember the song? You gotta be cruel to be cruel.

Marvin: To be kind.

Howard: What’s that?

Marvin: The song goes you got to be cruel to be kind.

Howard: Well, I like the other song better. Now, GO ON!

Marvin: (moans)

(Marvin plays Reveille) (From their dorms)

Jon: What’s going on?

(Rachel screams; Paul falls)

Jo: What is that?

Tina: I don’t know, but it could definitely use a base line.

(Outside of the dorms with Bradley the only one still asleep)

Howard: Rise and shine, move them out.

Episode 3: The Blue Chevy

(The car has broken down in the middle of nowhere, Rachel walks in shot)

Rachel: Has it started yet?

All: Nope!

Jon: Where have you been, Rach?

Rachel: I went to phone for some help, see if we could get towed back.

Tina: What did they say?

Rachel: They said we could be here for about three weeks.

All: Three weeks?

Rachel: (nodding) Mmm.

Jon: Who did you phone, Rachel?

Rachel: I phoned the AA!

All: Owww!

Tina: But we’re in America, you divvy!

Rachel: Well, it was worth a try, wasn’t it?

---

Rachel: Bradley, I’m not a sex object!

Bradley: Not to me you’re not, but some people have got no taste!

---

Jon: What is the point of all this?

Jo: We’re gonna try positive thinking and get the car go in.

Tina: You know it’s not going to work.

Hannah: What do we think about?

Bradley: Think of a car engine revving up.

Jo: No. Not yet. Everybody thinking.

Rachel: Yes.

Tina: What a waste of time.

Paul: Just tumor her.

Jo: Oh, come on. Think! Think!

Paul: Vroom, vroom!

(Everybody think and know more)

Jo: Think! Know more! No, louder! Everybody, louder! All right, now!

(Paul turns on a car engine)

Rachel: Go! Go!

All: Yay!

Episode 4: Wind Resistance

(After giving a performance as a news reporter)

Rachel: CUT! CUT! (blocking her band mates from wetting her with squirt guns) You said you wouldn’t soak me. You promised.

Jon: Not such of a promise, more like a gullible test.

Tina: I’m sorry to inform to Miss Stevens, but you failed. (goofing around)

Rachel: Yeah, but it’s not funny. I could’ve drowned, could’ve scarred, I’m soaking wet. Do I look all right?

Jo: Yes, of course you do.

Bradley: Like a film star.

Rachel: I do.

Jon: Yeah.

Rachel: Who?

Hannah: The Little Mermaid.

(Group laughs)

Bradley: Come on, Rach, you look pretty on camera.

Rachel: Do I?

Bradley: Yeah, look. (He shows Rachel)

Rachel: Oh yeah, you’re right. The camera really loves me.

Bradley: Yeah, almost as much as you do.

Jo: We are in Florida. I mean, what if there was a hurricane.

Rachel: Jo, the only violet winds we’re in danger is when Bradley eat Cuban food.

---

(Entering Howard’s office)

Paul: All right, I admit it. I peed in the swimming pool, (spooked to see people there).

Howard: (cheerfully) Who hasn’t?

---

Tina: (to Howard) You’re a bad man!

Bradley: (thinking Tina used profanity) Tina, you kiss her mother with that mouth.

---

Hannah: Paul, this is insane! Look around!

(Jo picks up an umbrella, goes up in the air and screams)

Rachel: Where’s Jo?

Bradley: She was there a minute ago!

Tina: Look, up in the sky!

Bradley: Is it a bird?

Rachel: Is it a plane?

Hannah: No, it’s an Essex girl!

All: Jo!

(Jo lands off-screen)

Paul: OH MY GOD!

Tina: Where she go I can’t see her!

Paul: Come on!

(Tina pushes Paul back, already angry at him)

Tina: Not you!

Rachel: (Angry with him as well) This is all your fault! You stay here!

(All but Paul leaves)

Episode 5: The Man From E.M.I.

(At the boys’ dorms)

Bradley: So, how are you getting on with that song?

Jon: Yeah, not bad. I’m gonna call it, it’s over.

Bradley: Nice one. You know what’s the word.

Jon: Well, that’s as far as we’ve got.

Paul: Jon, we’ve got to have this finished by tonight.

Jon: Yeah, yeah. I know. Don’t panic. All I need is a word that rhymes with misery then I’ll be on my way.

Bradley: Misery? That’s easy. Misery, misery, misery. (thinking) Okay, I’ve got it. How about misery?

Paul: Bradley, that’s the same word.

Bradley: I know, but it rhymed, didn’t it?

Episode 6: Alligator

Tina: Howard?

Rachel: Dating?

Jo: You’re joking.

Tina: Who’s the victim? I mean like a woman. Anyone we know?

Rachel: Till we know the Bride of Frankenstein?

Marvin: Well actually, er, she’s a very intelligent and attractive woman which is why Howard’s so determined to get it fight this time.

Jo: And how is he gonna do that apart from sending someone else long to be him?

Marvin: How? You’re gonna tell him what to do. That’s how.

Rachel: We are? I don’t think so, Marvin.

Marvin: Ooh, it’s hot today.

Rachel: Do you have a pen?

Tina: You might wanna take a few notes.

Episode 7: Volleyball

Jon: She is amazing. How does she do that?

Jo: It’s a skill like speaking French or juggling.

Jon: Yeah, but I can juggle and speak French.

Jo: Yeah, but can you do both at the same time? Well, there you are then.

Jon: Well, apparently.

Jo: Look, don’t get into estate. It’ll happen when it happens.

Jon: Yeah, but when, though?

(Jo and Jon hug)

Rachel: Guys, she’s bringing him over.

Episode 8: Alien Hunter

(See Tina’s dad, presumably Edward although not named, and Howard)

Bradley: Check out it.

Paul: Who’s that?

Bradley: It's Tina’s dad, it looks like he’s blaming Howard for her disappearing act.

(On Tina)

Edward Barrett: What kind of employer are you anyway?

Howard: Employer… I am much more than an employer to those kids, sir. Oh yeah, I feel for them, I laugh with them, I cry with them, I would even bleed for them. (Forgetting which was Tina), Which one was your daughter again?

---

(After hearing Jon is writing after getting an autograph)

Bradley: Did she leave her assistant’s number somewhere in there?

Everyone except Tina, Edward, Howard, and Marvin: BRADLEY!

---

(After paying the taxi driver)

Tina: (Seeing Edward) Dad!

Edward: Tina, are you all right?

Tina: I will be when somebody gets a can opener and cuts me out of this.

Episode 9: Missing

Jo: Just as where he’s beginning to really like it here.

Hannah: I know.

Tina: I can’t believe he’s treating us like this. It’s like some but of scrappy he could just buy himself.

Rachel: I wonder what he’s gonna be like that.

Jo: We don’t have to go.

Rachel: Don’t we?

Jo: Well, we’ve got a choice, haven’t we?

Rachel: Have we?

Jo: Well, of course we have. Well that’s it then.

Tina: What is?

Jo: I’m not going.

Hannah and Rachel: What?

Jo: I’m not going. I’m putting my foot down.

Episode 10: Court in the Act

Tina: What are we going to do?

Paul: We could sacrifice a goat. (jokily)

---

Jo: Yeah! You get in there and give him a piece of my mind!

Bradley: Can you spare that much?

Jo: Oh, that’s very cute, Brad, coming from someone who has trouble spelling IQ!

Episode 11: Bermuda Triangle

(They all sail at the sea in Bermuda Triangle)

Paul: I think you need to be heading left, and er, right, or maybe north or possibly south.

Jon: But isn’t it poor or starving at the moment?

Paul: Okay then, yeah. We’ll take the first port, second starboard and then straight ahead.

Jo: Yeah, but which way is port, or which way is starboard?

Paul: Or port must be the gardener’s land, mustn’t it?

Tina: Well, which way is that?

Jon: Uh-oh.

(The mist comes towards the group)

Bradley: Wait a minute! What’s that up ahead?

Rachel: Just some kind of big mist! Oh no!

Episode 12: How Deep is Your Love

Jo: I can’t believe you’re making in front us out of us when even you are too scared to go in the loo because of your cockroach.

Bradley: Yeah, but our cockroach is bigger than your cockroach.

Tina: Can we focus please? We’re telling Howard that we’re not happy sharing our accommodation with that thing.

Hannah: I feel sorry for the poor little creature. I’m glad we didn’t tell you about the one in the kitchen.

Jo: The kitchen?!

Jon: Oh my god! There was one in the kitchen?

Tina: And you didn’t tell us.

Hannah: I didn’t tell anyone. Well, apart from one customer.

Paul: You told the customer? Hannah, what happens if you tell us someone else? What happens if your authorities get to you about this?

Hannah: What authorities?

Episode 13: Reprise

(After leaving Paradise Hotel)

Bradley: So we’re going to the airport then.

Rachel: Yes.

Jon: Are we not gonna hang around in America to see what happens?

Rachel: No.

Jon: So we’re not gonna go on a big adventure where anything could happen and we wanted to become famous.

Hannah: Erm. Guess not.

Paul: So we lose just when we start into it.

(They reach the signpost that says “To Airport” on the left and “To Los Angeles” on the right)

Jo: So what’s it gonna be then? L.A. or the UK?

Rachel: We’ve got 3 seconds to decide. 3, 2, 1.

(They turn right all the way to L.A.)