Miami Vice was an American television show that followed the adventures of two Miami police detectives working undercover, James "Sonny" Crockett and Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs, that ran for five seasons on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The USA Network broadcasted one unaired "missing" episode after season five.
Brother's Keeper (1.1)
- Caroline Crockett: You're all players, Sonny. You get high on the action.
- Crockett: [on them working together] Well, I don't know how this is gonna work, Tubbs. I mean, uh, you're not exactly up my alley--style and personawise. Heaven knows I'm no box of candy. But with all things considered, I think we may have to consider some type of... temporary working relationship.
- Tubbs: Crockett. James "Sonny" Crockett.
- Crockett: Very good, Tubbs. Next week we'll work on your name.
- Tubbs: University of Florida. All-American wide receiver number 88? Am I right or what?
- Crockett: Oh, that was a long time ago.
- Tubbs: You were sensational. I remember one time I watched you run a screen pass 90 yards with 10 seconds left on the clock, man, for the winning TD against Alabama.
- Crockett: It was 92 yards, Tubbs. Six seconds remaining.
- Tubbs: Yeah, well, excuse the hell outta me. You know, not that Vice isn't the most glamorous gig in the world, Crockett, but what happened, huh? I mean, you must have had half the scouts in the NFL on your tail.
- Crockett: Traded it all in on two years in the Southeast Asian Conference.
- Tubbs: 'Nam?
- Crockett: No, Coney Island.
- Crockett: [to Tubbs, after learning that he isn't Rafael Tubbs] This here's a flare gun, sucker! Now unless you want your entire intestinal tract lit up like Cape Canaveral, you've got exactly ten seconds to tell me who you are!!
- Tubbs: Hey Elvis, where does Crockett get his music from? The Sears and Roebuck catalog?
- Scottie: Six months ago some guy comes up to me in Little Havana. Hands me a suitcase. He says, "Compliments of Mr. Calderone." Nothing else. Just compliments. I didn't even open the damn thing for two weeks. Sonny..
- Crockett: How much? How much to buy you, Scottie?
- Scottie: 70 grand. The calls from DeSoto started about a month later. Information. That's all they wanted was information.
- Crockett: Information?
- Scottie: I tried to pull out at least a dozen times, but it was too late. I mean, I never expected anyone to get killed.
- Crockett: They changed the game plan on us, Scott. Is it still goin' down tonight?
- Scottie: Yeah.
- Crockett: Where?
- Scottie: You gotta help me, man. You gotta help me, man. I got a family. [Cop cars pull up] I got 15 years as a stand-up cop.
- Crockett: Where? Where?!
- Scottie: I got two medals of valor! I took a bullet for you, for God's sakes! [sighs] They're runnin' a sports fishing boat out of Keys Marina. The drop-off's up river.
- Crockett: Am I, uh, am I missing something here, or what, Scottie? I don't get it. I don't understand this. You were my partner. I had you and Donna and the kids over to dinner, what, 20 or 30 times. [angry] Thanksgiving, birthdays. I trusted you! [grabs Scottie's throat] I trusted you, you bastard! I trusted you! [Tubbs pulls Crockett away as Scottie cries]
- Crockett: Hey, Tubbs. You ever consider a career in southern law enforcement?
- Tubbs: Maybe. [chuckles] Maybe.
Heart of Darkness (1.2)
- Artie Rollins: Am I dealing with something here I can't handle? I mean, you two are just a couple of, high-rollin' cowboys from Jersey with a briefcase full of cash.....isn't that right detectives?
- Artie Rollins: (After Crockett and Tubbs prevents Artie from beating up someone with a late payment) Don't you EVER interfere with me again!!
Cool Runnin' (1.3)
(After Tubbs drops a lobster overboard)
- Crockett: Tubbs, that was $28.95!
- Tubbs: I hope he likes the local waters.
- Noogie: Fella by the name of Desmond Maxwell. A Jamaican dude.
- Chump: What's in it for me?
- Noogie: Well, if you come across anything, a hundred bucks and a brand-new VCR.
- Chump: Front loaded?
- Noogie: You know that, homeboy.
- Noogie: Yo, man, I'm gettin' a little rusty around the edges. I need a little pick-me-up. You know I got a friendly right around the corner.
- Tubbs: You wanna get high?
- Noogie: Well, you know, it serves the purpose. You understand what I'm sayin'? What's up?
- Crockett: Listen, little squirrel, we don't work our informants that way, you got it?
- Noogie: All right. Forget I said anything.
- Tubbs: Great. Buggy ride with a damn junkie.
- Noogie: Yo, man, I ain't no junkie. I'm a speed freak.
Calderone's Return: Part 1 - The Hit List (1.4)
- Crockett: Well, our divorce was a bigger failure than our marriage.
- Zito: Do these dealers do anything besides buy clothes, or what?
- Switek: Yeah, they buy cars.
Calderone's Return: Part 2 - Calderone's Demise (1.5)
- Calderone: You don't get it, huh? DEA, FBI, your county, city, your technologies, your computers... they can't catch one little man who didn't make it past the fourth grade
- Calderone: Forty-two million. Forty-two million dollars tax free. Why do you think they call it the land of opportunity?
- Crockett: Even fat cats fry, Calderone.
- Calderone: Yeah, it's true. Only if they allow mistakes to exist.
One Eyed Jack (1.6)
- Vincent "Vinnie" Marco: If Miami hasn't got it, no one's thought of it yet.
No Exit (1.7)
Crockett: (while witnessing Tony D'Amato attacking his wife, Rita, by pushing her into a swimming pool) Let's nail this pig!
- Billie Joe Higgins: You let me out of here, or she's dead.
- Crockett: You don't walk out of here with that child.
- Billie Joe Higgins: If I twitch, she's gone.
- Crockett: Maybe you won't even twitch.
Little Prince (1.11)
- Crockett: I just love it when you poor little rich kids slip up twice. You know why? 'Cause then you're just like everybody else.
Milk Run (1.12)
- Tubbs: Although that's a reasonable possibility, seein' that 95% of all these deals are rip-offs.
- Crockett: Tubbs,you don't think that these obviously experienced professionals here are gonna fall for a rip-off.
- Louis: Look, we're partners, right? And if you're too scared to make this deal, we're still partners. Just don't ever tell me you're too scared to dream, man.
- Crockett: What about it, Tubbs? When do I get the grand tour of the Big Apple?
- Tubbs: As soon as I think you can handle it, partner.
- Louis: Hey, no wonder people deal drugs around here.
Golden Triangle: Part I (1.13)
- Candy: Just keep me as your number one lady. Promise?
- Crockett: You ain't my number one nothing toots. You hiccup funny and you're right back here.
- Candy: Oh, I love it when you scold me.
- Crockett: My advice to you is after this is done, vacate Miami.
- Candy: Hey, that's real nice. A girl could always use some friendly advice.
Rites of Passage (1.16)
- Crockett: Technical difficulties, guys?
- Switek: Nah, we're just working some of the bugs out of the system.
- Switek: We're gonna give 'em a buzz.
- Zito: Maybe it's a short circuit.
- Tubbs: Maybe it's possessed.
- Crockett: I don't know, there's something scary about the concept of Switek and Zito doing roach removal. Like it's a conflict of interest or something.
- Crockett: People in stucco houses shouldn't throw quiche.
- Crockett: (After Diane Gordon is killed by a cocaine overdose) Diane... Diane's dead,
The Maze (1.17)
- Raul: There's something I don't understand. You people got all this room back there, so many that you don't even have to see each other if you don't want to, but you're always fighting over one little place in the back. For what?
Made For Each Other (1.18)
- [Switek and Zito catch Izzy trying to rob store]
- Izzy: I'm no criminal. I mean, I never been convicted. I have a few indictments, man, but [Izzy strikes the counter with a tire iron] I'm a man of no convictions.
- Izzy: Hey, we Hispanics don't know the meaning of danger, but we're very familiar with the word COM-PEN-SA-TION.
- Izzy: You’re talking to a man who has withstood the finest interrogation techniques…electrical, mechanical, psychological…philosophical, European, domestic, commercial.
The Home Invaders (1.19)
- Lady: Excuse me, please. Can I help you?
- Crockett: Yeah, we'd like to see Benny.
- Lady: Benny ain't here.
- Castillo: Find him, please. We'll wait.
- Lady: Find him?! What do I look like, a tour guide?
- Crockett: Just find him! We'll talk about what you look like later.
Nobody Lives Forever (1.20)
- Gina: Where's your partner?
- Tubbs: I think he went to the dentist.
- Gina: Who's got the toothache, Crockett or Brenda?
- Tubbs: Look here, Toyotas, Datsuns, Hondas. Even crooks are looking for good gas mileage.
- Gina: Who's got the toothache, Crockett or Brenda?
- Tubbs: I make it a point not to keep tabs on my partner's social register.
- Gina: I went to Raimando's last week. Remember Nick, the maître d'?
- Crockett: Yeah, how is Slick Nick?
- Gina: He misses you. I promised him I'd bring you by this weekend.
- Crockett: Uh, this weekend, um..
- Gina: But if you're in the mood for some home cooking, that could be arranged too.
- Crockett: Gina, this weekend's gonna be a little rough.
- Gina: You just keep me around for an occasional pit stop until something better comes around. Feels really great, let me tell you, Sonny.
- Crockett: Gina, that's not fair.
- Gina: That's right. It's not fair at all. Just stay out of my life.
- Brenda: How do you go from this tranquility to that violence?
- Crockett: I usually take the Ferrari.
- Kern: New Bren-10's pretty nice, eh Burnett?
- Crockett: It's all right.
- Kern: Got the Eagle inside, you want to try it?
- Crockett: Some other time, Kern.
- Kern: Haven't seen you in a while.
- Crockett: Been pretty busy.
- Kern: Still keeping in touch with the Cazadores?
- Crockett: That bunch of daisies? [laughs scornfully] I'm putting together a whole new group of people. Men that take life seriously. 200 miles out there, there's men sitting in nuclear submarines just waiting to put us in their crosshairs. Who's gonna protect us, mister? The Army? They're a bunch of toy soldiers. Half-breds! Women! Homosexuals! That's who is protecting our country!
- Evan Freed: Who is this guy? Who are you, big mouth?
- Guzman: Give it a rest, Evan.
- Evan: This guy has an attitude. A real attitude. What is your problem?
- Crockett: I have no problem. You got a problem?
- Tubbs: No problem.
- Crockett: Maybe it's your problem.
- Evan: Don't mess with me!
- Guzman: I mean it, Evan!
- Tubbs: Sonny, who was Mike Orgel?
- Crockett: Don't run around me, Tubbs.
- Tubbs: What's gotten into you, man? You got a problem, and I'm just tryin' to help you with it.
- Crockett: Is that what you call it? What'd you do, pull Freed's jacket?
- Tubbs: Look, I wouldn't have had to pull his jacket if you'd have just been straight with me.
- Crockett: It's none of your business.
- Tubbs: Excuse the hell out of me. We happen to be involved in an operation. And if something is going down between you and our middleman, then I need to know it!
- Crockett: There's nothing going down. You don't need to know anything. And where the hell do you come off demanding that I bare my soul to you? You're my partner, not my priest!
- Tubbs: Hey, hey, hey! Don't be copping no attitude, man, 'cause I don't need to hear it. You wanna drop the friendship, and just be partners, so be it.
- Crockett: So be it.
- Tubbs: Solid.
- Crockett: [About Mike] I didn't stick up for him. He was my friend. I failed him. I couldn't find a way to handle it.
- Tubbs: You had the right feelings.
- Crockett: (frustrated) Yeah, but I didn't do anything about it.
- Tubbs: What could you do, man? You didn't know how. They don't teach that in the academy. You learn it in the street, in the world, in our hearts. Where I know you have it.
- Crockett:I don't know.
- Tubbs: You better know. 'Cause I don't pass up beautiful girls like Michelle for nothin' less.
- Crockett: You know something, Tubbs?
- Tubbs: What?
- Crockett: You ain't half bad.
- Tubbs: Ditto. Now you... You can drive your tired partner home.
- Crockett: Come on.
- Evan: Let's you and me have a drink. Man to man. That's right, Crockett. I'm a real man. A real man makes mistakes. I made one with Mike. And I've paid. A real man thinks. And he changes. A real man uses his brains. If he's lucky, after a couple of years, he gets wisdom. But you... You still want to hang that rap on me. Well, buddy, I found more ways to hang that rap on myself than you or the devil will ever know about!
- Crockett: Is that why you've tried to catch a bullet for years? What's that? Adjustment?
- Evan: Forgive me, Sonny. Say you forgive me! Please!
- Crockett: Come on, Evan.
- Evan: Make me happy, Sonny. Make me happy! I'm so damn sorry!
- Crockett: Evan, come on.
- Tubbs: What the hell was that all about?
- Crockett: Confession and redemption. And a guy hangin' by a string.
- Crockett: [To Evan, who's dying] Why'd you have to do this?
- Evan: My decision. Good or bad. Maybe I wanted to prove something. Maybe not. Like Orgel.
- Crockett: Orgel made his own decision. Evan? Hang on. Evan!
- Evan: Now it's your turn, Sonny.
Prodigal Son (2.1)
- Crockett: Vietnam, Cambodia, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Bahamas, Everglades. Bet I've soaked up more swamp than Elvis.
- Tubbs: Look on the bright side of things, man. At least nobody's trying to make shoes out of you. Yet.
- Tubbs: [over the phone] That's TUBBS: Tough, Unique, Bad, Bodacious, Sassy.
- Crockett: If the supplier can't deliver...
- Tubbs: Then Rivillas' customers start to shiver.
Whatever Works (2.2)
- Tubbs: Hey you, you're out of your jurisdiction, you're out of your league, and you don't live in the neighborhood, so keep it moving! Chumps!
Out Where the Buses Don't Run (2.3)
- Crockett: This guy is a nut case.
- Tubbs: Yeah? Maybe he even keeps a pet alligator at his place of residence.
- Weldon: Please, say hello to Lorraine.
- Tubbs: Big deal. A computer. Every 12-year-old kid in Miami has one.
- Tubbs: [On a computer, "Lorraine"] This thing's a little weird.
- Crockett: If it's only a little weird, it definitely won't work.
The Dutch Oven (2.4)
- Gallo: [Talking to Gina] Ninety percent of all cops never discharge their weapons. They go about their jobs, nobody gets hurt. Then there's the cowboy. [Turns to Crockett] How many shooting hearings have you had? Ten? How many men have died?
- Crockett: Only the bad guys, Gallo.
- Crockett: So you're at this party with this dude..
- Trudy: His name's David.
- Crockett: Oh, yeah, that's right, David. And there's a lot of weed and blow there. Hell, you can't go to a party in Miami without tripping over it.
- Trudy: Miami Vice. You're under arrest. Turn around and put your hands on the bar.
- Adonis: Baby, you're a cop?
- Crockett: April fool.
- Bartender: Kid got a nice mother?
- Robbie Cann: She's the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful woman I've ever known. Why?
- Bartender: Well, 'cause daddy ain't gonna live long drinking like that.
- Robbie: I mean, for the first time since we landed back in the world, I feel like a man. I got a wife, a kid, a business. I can hold my head up in the street.
- Crockett: Is that what being a man is? Standing by and letting that girl get blown away, so that you can live high on the hill? What's happened to you, man? Where's your sense of right and wrong?
- Crockett: Only obligation you've got is to yourself. If you can get up in the morning and look in the mirror and be proud of what you see, then you fulfill that obligation. If you can't, then you're worth nothing to nobody. Not to yourself, not to Julia, not to me, and certainly not to your son.
- Crockett: The man I knew always did what it took, and it hurt sometimes, but he did it. Because that's the only thing that got us out of the jungle with our minds. There was no "me and I" in our unit. You and me, Robbie. You and me. We refused to throw those POWs out of the choppers. No matter what the rest of the world was saying, we did the right thing. That's what being a man is all about. Not standing by and letting Doss and your father put holes in a young girl.
Junk Love (2.6)
- Crockett: She said she wanted to help us.
- Tubbs: She would have said anything, man, to feed that monkey. Anything.
- Crockett: The secret to success, whether it's women or money, is knowing when to quit. I oughta know: I'm divorced and broke.
Tale of the Goat (2.7)
- Crockett: Man, you're taking this whole thing way too light. This isn't like sneaking into the drive-in. This is a sacred religious ceremony for these people, and if they make you for an outsider, you don't know what they're gonna do.
- Tubbs: What are they gonna do, cast a spell on me?
- Crockett: (After Crockett storms into the park's bathroom and sees Agent Thompson bound with rope with his pants down in one stall and Hererra dead as he is hung upside down with cocaine is strewn in the toilet) What the HELL is going on here?!
- CIA agent Carter: My name is Carter, and I don't like you. And I don't care about your crummy little drug deals. I don't care about Herrera, and I don't care about the half million.
- Castillo: Well, you must care about something. You look nervous.
Bought and Paid For (2.9)
- Izzy: Your partner looks like kinda intense today.
- Switek: I haven't seen him like this since 1983, when he chased a guy who stole a hubcap from the bug van.
- Izzy: Have we already had the scene where I ask what this is all about and you say, "Shut up, we ask the questions".
- Switek: I don't know, did we, Lar?
- Trudy: I wonder what the price of silence is in Haiti.
- Octavio Arroyo: To what do I owe this pleasure?
- Gina: I wanted to see how you chill out after a rape.
Back in the World (2.10)
- Dakota: These days money comes from all kinds of places.
- Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: Yeah, well, my money comes from my pocket. Now do you wanna do business?
Phil the Shill (2.11)
- Izzy: "What are you doing wearing those brown shoes?! This party is color cooperated!"
Definitely Miami (2.12)
- Det. James "Sonny" Crockett: I hate the waiting, feel like a character in a Becket play.
- Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: Since when do you know Becket?
- Det. James "Sonny" Crocket: Charlie Becket, works down at the shoeshine, writes plays on the side.
- Tubbs: She’s too conservative for you.
- Crockett: I get these occasional urges for stability in my life.
- Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: [during a heat wave] Man, I can dig tropical, but this is out of bounds.
- Det. James "Sonny" Crockett: You just got to learn to go with the heat, Rico. It's just like life. You just gotta keep telling yourself, no matter how hot it gets, sooner or later there's a cool breeze coming in.
- Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: Should I write that down?
- Poolside Bartender: Hot enough for ya ?
- Charlie (Ted Nugent): Yea, it's going to be a real killer.
- Crockett: Man, it's so hot you could fry an egg on my face.
- Tubbs: Hope I never get that hungry.
- Crockett: The head and the heart Rico,just once I'd like to get them together.
- Dalva: You guys have really got it easy down here – tropical climate, beautiful scenery, laid back place – I could really get used to this
- Crockett: The better you get at this job, the more dangerous it becomes.
- Crockett: Nice to know there's still a little poetry left in the world.
- Tubbs: You're losing it, Sonny man. Remember what you told me about edges and dead cops?
- Crockett: I say a lot of things, I talk too much.
- Crockett: Rico.
- Tubbs: Yeah?
- Crockett: I'll see you tonight.
- Tubbs: Count on it.
Yankee Dollar (2.13)
- Zito: Hurry up.
- Switek: Look, it's just a cartoon.
- Zito: 101 Dalmatians ain't just a cartoon, any more than Blue Suede Shoes is just a song.
One Way Ticket (2.14)
- Crockett: [to Thurmond] What did you do, trade in your conscience when you passed the bar?
- Crockett: Okay Tommy, what's the story this time?
- Tommy: Sonny boy, are you familiar with the expression.. "A carburetor is like a good woman"?
- Crockett: Tommy.
- Tommy: A carburetor is like a good woman, because if you don't make constant delicate adjustments, she'll choke you to death. I adjusted your carbs and I did some other stuff, and the ticket's on the front seat.
- Crockett: Wait a minute. What other stuff?
- Tommy: Sonny, when did I ever, ever, ever overcharge you?
- Crockett: How the hell should I know? You're the only one that works on this car!
- Tommy: I'm the best, Sonny, it's a fact.
- Crockett: Tommy? You rang? $600?
- Tommy: You want to know something, Crockett? Not if it's gonna cost me another $600. I'm doing pretty much the same work on this car here, but this car belongs to a rich lawyer. I'm charging him more. Fair, but more. And if you tell him, I'll kill you.
- Crockett: Do you think that makes us even?
- Laurence Thurmond: No, not at all. It was just the best I had to offer.
- Crockett: Aw, the hell with it. You want to be dead? [makes gun with his hand] Bang, you're dead.
Florence Italy (2.16)
- Woman: Have you seen Florence Italy?
- Gina: Only in my dreams.
- Woman: Not the place, baby, the girl. It's her name.
- Tommy: She doesn't even know the difference between a tire iron and a timing light. She causes harm to my reputation as a woman. I am a licensed mechanic.
- Woman: Look, I tell you, if I'd seen this car I probably would have run like hell, 'cause, I mean, in the first place, it doesn't even look like a car.
French Twist (2.17)
- Crockett: Well you could have damn well been a little more emphatic!
- Danielle Hier: And you could have listened a little bit better!
- Crockett: I suggest we take a rain check.
- Danielle Hier: It isn't raining.
- Danielle: I was hoping you would be someone else. Your partner.
- Tubbs: You're messing with my best friend, and I don't like it.
- Danielle: What do you want me to do? Make him not like me?
- Tubbs: I think you're a bad dream, baby. I just wanna wake up and find you gone.
- Danielle: What if I don't want to be gone, Rico?
- Tubbs: That's easy. I know what you are. If you don't split, I'll have every newspaper, every wire service on your case so fast you won't know where to look. You'll be out in the cold, baby, with no place warm in sight. Have a nice trip, home.
- Tubbs: You are a nightmare.
- Danielle: You have a big mouth, Tubbs. You told me so yourself.
The Fix (2.18)
- Crockett: Damn, these birds are noisy. At least, they're not in a cage, sort of a natural habitat.
- Tubbs: Kind of like an alligator in a sailboat.
Sons and Lovers (2.22)
- Tubbs: What are you doing?
- Crockett: Re-prioritizing. Lunch. On me.
- Tubbs: On you?
- Crockett: Yep. Can't let a guy buy his own last meal. Anything you want, anything. Sky's the limit.
- Tubbs: Veggie burger! Veggie burger!
- Crockett: Anything but that.
- Switek: When it comes to settling down with a chick, i'm fairly selective, because, let's face it, I can afford to be.
- Gina: I'm sure they line up around the block.
- Switek: I got the looks, steady job.
- Zito: Cable.
- Switek: Cable TV. The works. But there's something about a girl, like this Angelina.
- Trudy: Couldn't be the money.
- Switek: Money?
- Zito: We're talking companionship here.
- Switek: A relationship, if you will.
- Zito: Right. With a real '80s woman.
- Gina: Oh, give me a break.
- Switek: But seriously, you've got to respect a woman who says: Honey, we've got a little problem here. You're going to have to leave town, and here's $800,000 in cash. Cute girl.
When Irish Eyes Are Crying (3.1)
- Trudy: What's wrong?
- Gina: Castillo's sending me home.
- Trudy: Need backup? Bad joke.
- Gina: Sean Carroon. He wants to thank me for saving his life.
- Trudy: Nice looking?
- Tubbs: [After Daytona blows] Sold.
Stone's War (3.2)
(Crockett is in Lt. Castillo's office discussing the replacement of Crockett's Daytona)
- Crockett: Lieutenant, I know that there are certain procedures that have to be followed, and that what we're dealing with here is an entrenched bureaucracy, but it has been one month, one month since the Daytona bit the dust...what I'm trying to do is maintain a departmentally-approved cover here, and if I continue to show up for six-figure drug deals looking like Lil' Abner, it ain't gonna cut it!
- Castillo: It's out in back.
- Crockett: All right. Until I can get this worked out, i'm taking you to the only place I know that's safe.
- Stone: Where is that? Jail?
- Crockett: As a matter of fact...
- Stone: Well, that's great, Crockett. That's just great.
The Good Collar (3.5)
- Tubbs: Freeze! Miami Vice!
- Ramirez: Metro Gangs. Nice tackle.
- Tubbs: You gotta be kidding.
- Archie Ellis: I just wanted the cash, man, come on!
- Tubbs: What are you gonna do now, cry, punk?
- Curtis "Count" Walker: Why you wanna talk business? I'm no businessman. I'm a ladies' man.
- Walker: See, it's like a jungle out here; full of plants. Plants need sunshine. And I've got the best sunshine there is.
Shadow in the Dark (3.6)
- Crockett: Mornin', Lieutenant. After-dinner drink. I kinda got my schedule turned around.
- Castillo: You look it.
- Crockett: It's funny when you work all night. The whole world seems like it gets out of sync with you. It's like you can sneak up on it.
- Castillo: It seems that way. Just think straight.
- Crockett: I don't need to think straight. I need to think like him.
- Castillo: Thinking undercover, sometimes you can't stop when you need to.
- Crockett: The answer we need's not in the book. It's in his head. I can't explain it, but... I think I'm onto it.
- Castillo: Two coffees.
- Crockett: Make it one.
- Castillo: Cancel the one.
- Crockett: Do you think I'm crazy?
- Tubbs: No. I just think that neither one of us have had too much sleep lately.
- Crockett: You didn't answer my question.
- Tubbs: Well, there's a thin line between hard work and obsession.
- The Shadow: You live with me, don't you?
- Officer: Where do you live?
- The Shadow: In a house.
- Officer: I need the exact address.
- The Shadow: Where the sun never shines. I need some tinfoil.
- Officer: What do you need tinfoil for?
- The Shadow: To protect my heart.
- Officer: Where were you born?
- The Shadow: In your mind.
- Officer: How old are you?
- The Shadow:Older than you.
- Officer: That'll make you sick.
- The Shadow: I am sick.
El Viejo (3.7)
- Crockett: You know what I like about you, Rickles? Not a damn thing [points] Backstroke.
- Switek: (After bursting into one of the Ramrod Hotel's rooms, only to walk into an S&M session during a raid) Oh, sorry, must be the fantasy suite!
Down for the Count - Part 2 (3.13)
- Switek: Larry Zito was my partner. But to me, he was more like my brother.
- Castillo: I know you all hurt inside, but do your grieving in private, the street has no sympathy.
- Tubbs: Man, we are shish kebab on our own sword.
- Crockett: Cut it out, you're makin' me hungry.
- Tubbs: Yeah, well I'm losin' my appetite.
- Castillo: I was gonna put you on the beach.
- Switek: I can do my job.
- Castillo: You're gonna have to. We don't have anyone else.
- Switek: Thanks for the pep talk. I feel better already. I'm sorry, Lieutenant. My brain's been wallpapered. If Guzman had stuck a needle in me, Lar would do all he could to clear my name, or die trying.
- Castillo: You want Gina or Trudy to ride in the van with you?
- Switek: Maybe some other time.
Cuba Libre (3.14)
- Crockett: You gotta know the rules before you break 'em. Otherwise, it's no fun.
- Switek: How about a ride, sailor?
- Crockett: Almost funny.
- Theresa Lyons: Hey, I miss you, dude.
- Crockett: I miss you too, dudette.
- Crockett: Besides, what the hell do doctors know anyway?
- Theresa: I beg your pardon?
- Crockett: Lot of hiss.
- Switek: What do you want, CD quality? I'm workin' with 10-year-old depositions.
The Afternoon Plane (3.17)
- Tubbs: The Calderones killed my brother, my woman and my son, and they'll rot in hell before I let them kill me!
- Alicia Austin: I won't stand here and watch you be destroyed in front of my face.
- Tubbs: You don't have to, you're leavin'.
- Alicia: Who says?
- Tubbs: Me.
- Alicia: I'm not goin' anywhere without you. I signed up for a full week, remember?
- Tubbs: You better start packin'. That plane'll be comin' anytime.
- Alicia: I'm terrible at good-byes.
- Tubbs: Damn it, Alicia!
- Alicia: Shout all you want. Either we go or we stay.
- Tubbs: Alicia.
Lend Me An Ear (3.18)
Tubbs: This is America you need to be in debt, only way banks can get money back.
Steve Duddy: (After intruders enter his apartment, a video monitor turns on with him holding a shotgun) EVEN PARANOIDS HAVE REAL ENEMIES!!
(After Crockett learns that Steve Duddy will not be charged with interfering with the investigation) Switek: Maybe he needs a taste of his own medicine. (Steve is seen in his home turning on his video surveillance equipment, only to show Crockett pop up in every monitor) Crockett: Hello, Steve. You know what you did -- you'll have to live with that. But I just want you to know -- you won't be alone. I'll be watching you.
Red Tape (3.19)
- Tubbs: Well, I'll tell you one thing, Jack. They'd have jumped on this like white on rice in New York, they'd have never let this leak get this far. Never.
- Castillo: S.I.D.'s handling the leak, Rico. End of discussion.
- Tubbs: Well, until S.I.D. Finishes their investigation, I'm not workin'. 'Cause nobody's gonna scrape this body off this pavement or off of some dealer's doorstep! Nobody!
- Castillo: Go home, Rico. Get cleaned up. File a report. Be back in my office by 4:00 p.m. Pick up your new assignment.
- Tubbs: Or what?
- Castillo: Or take a suspension.
- Tubbs: Well, I'll do you one better. I'd rather be playing the lottery in New York City, than Russian roulette in Miami. I quit.
- Tubbs: Dig. I am leaving this job, I am leaving this town, and I don't have time for "standard procedure".
- Bank servant: And I don't have time for your life story. Read the procedure. Next.
- Tubbs: So this is your display case?
- Tubbs: I WANT MY DAMN MONEY! AND I WANT IT NOW!
By Hooker By Crook (3.20)
- Crockett: First a junkie, now a hooker. I think I've been in the business too long, I'm starting to fall for the players.
Knock Knock... Who's There? (3.21)
- Lead DEA Agent: You've got a kid in the hospital who doesn't need you catching a bullet because you're operating on three cylinders.
- Chuck Colby: Coincidental visit, huh, Sonny? Haven't seen or heard from you in two years. And you think you can just pop in, smile and bleed a little info out? You know the way to the door.
- Linda Colby: You would have done the same thing if it was your kid, Sonny.
Viking Bikers From Hell (3.22)
- Reb Gustafson: Where's my scooter?
- Toad: You can ride on back of Charlie's.
- Reb: Charlie's? I don't ride on the back of nobody's scooter.
- Reb: You're still a worm, Izzy.
- Victoria Elizabeth: No. I told you I don't want it. It's bad money.
- Reb: Then make something good out of it.
- Crockett: You awake?
- Tubbs: Yeah. Been awake. You know, it's funny how dawn makes everything look clean.
- Crockett: Yeah, but they're out there.
- Tubbs: Who?
- Crockett: The monsters, the freaks, the animals. You think you know the street, and then every once in a while, you find a whole new level.
- Tubbs: What about the sister?
- Crockett: Gone. Vanished. I don't know, I don't know.
- Tubbs: Maybe she's innocent.
- Crockett: Be nice to think that there's some cosmic balance in the universe. But there sure isn't any innocence. We've gotta be better.
- Tubbs: Better? What's with this "better" crap? You really think we're better?
- Crockett: Better shots.
Amen... Send Money (4.2)
- Faye Nell: The devil was in my hand, and the devil got into my whole body, and what can you do when the devil's in your body? What could I do? The devil was in this body!
- Crockett: Amen.
- Crockett: Oh, good. Good. He's flipped. He's done.
- Tubbs: How can you tell that? Hey, Reverend Mather!
- Mason Mather: Back! Back, devils! I have been called to him. I have been called to His bosom. Oh, Lord, I have been called to him.
- Tubbs: Look, come on down and we'll talk about it!
- Mason Mather: I am through with this vale of tears.
- Crockett: Uh, Reverend
- Mason Mather: I am no longer of this Earth, I am above these mere mortals.
- Crockett: Uh, Reverend, what do you say my partner comes on up there and talks to you for for just five minutes. Huh? What do you say?
- Mason Mather: Take me from this evilness. Take me from this wicked Earth.
- Crockett: No, huh? What do you think I oughta do, go down and call the fire department, tell 'em we got a jumper?
- Tubbs: No, we don't have time. They broadcast paramedics and medivac as far as Fort Lauderdale from there. That tower's got 10,000 watts of power. Somebody just keys a mic inside.
- Crockett: How do you know all that?
- Tubbs: Night school. There is life after Vice.
- Crockett: One good thing about TV. You can always turn it off.
Child's Play (4.5)
- Castillo: DiLello called.
- Crockett: What does he want me to say? WHAT DOES HE WANT ME TO SAY!!! I'd like to see you out there. I shot the kid... I shot him, he may die, it was my gun, I can't put the bullet back in there, and there's nothing that you say, or that anybody says, OR NO SHRINK IS GONNA CHANGE THAT!
- Castillo: You can't hide in a closet forever. Don't lose yourself.
- Crockett: Then if it's not my responsibility, then who the hell is? Who is it?!
- Castillo: The bullet left the gun, it was your gun, your finger on the trigger, you pulled the trigger, now, live with the responsibility. It's gonna scar you, eat you, burn you inside, and it should...but you've got work to do that you care about, people are depending on that, you've got people who care about you, Sonny, like me.
- Tubbs: Before you go out here and do your John Wayne, just remember that you owe me.
- Crockett: What do you mean, owe you?
- Tubbs: You owe me your life. Your presence in that seat, man. Look, I love you, man. You know, I don't want to go out here, and have to say a speech about the short but meaningful life of one Sonny Crockett, in front of a collection of family and friends. You know the first thing I thought was, If he's gone, who gets the car?
Like a Hurricane (4.8)
- Caitlin: What's your fantasy relationship, Crockett? Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am, then the chick turns into a TV set so you can watch Monday Night Football?
- Crockett: So glad I got this assignment. You're such a nice person.
- Crockett: Every time I hear one of you rock stars start crying the blues about that lonely life on the road, it makes me want to throw up.
- Caitlin: I suppose you know all about it.
- Crockett: No, I don't know nothing. I'm just a dumb cop.
- Tommy Lowe: What is this, heavy metal?
- Crockett: I've got a kid.
- Caitlin: What flavor?
- Crockett: Boy, Billy. He's eight.
- Caitlin: So, uh.. When do I get to meet him?
- Crockett: Do you know what it means?
- Caitlin: I ain't afraid of no kid.
Love at First Sight (4.10)
- Crockett: You can't really be worried about a bunch of hookers on cassette?
- Caitlin: They're not all prostitutes. You said so yourself.
- Crockett: You think hookers on a video-dating service is my idea of a hot date?
- Caitlin: Maybe I'll sign up myself.
- Crockett: Now there's an idea.
- Caitlin: Maybe you should send her roses.
- Crockett: Hell, I'll be lucky if I'm not sued. I can see the headlines now; "Undercover cop slugs innocent woman after assault with sex toy."
- Man on the Radio: Caitlin Davies's new smash jumps two this week to number five.
- Crockett: Two slots?
- Caitlin: Not bad for a washed-up has-been, huh?
A Rock and a Hard Place (4.11)
- Crockett: What the hell was all that about?
- Caitlin: Business as usual. God, I'd forgotten how odious it can all be.
- Crockett: Yeah, you won't get an argument out of me, but that's not what I'm talkin' about.
- Crockett: Well, at least they caught my good side, my chivalrous side — if a bit Neanderthal.
- Caitlin: A bit? How much worse does it get?
- Crockett: Okay, one more time. I'm really sorry.
- Caitlin: I know. And I love you, Sonny, but this is drivin' me stark ravin'.
- Crockett: I didn't know it was so important to you. I mean, the-the music I understand, but the-the business side..
- Caitlin: It's not.. It is. Look, I despise all the phony crap that goes with it, but I have to put up with it, because it allows me to do the work that I love to do best. I'm a singer. I could sing in the shower for myself, but I get so much more satisfaction when people can hear me. To get airplay, I have to co-operate with the business people.
- Tubbs: Bottom line is, you're doing exactly what you believe is right, and you can't ask any more of yourself than that.
- Crockett: You have the right to remain silent.
- Gordon Wiggins: Don't tell me you're a cop! That's disgusting.
- Crockett: Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
- Wiggins: Can't we discuss this like civilized human beings?
- Crockett: You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.
- Caitlin: I know it's different worlds, Sonny, but tell me we can make it work.
- Crockett: Or die tryin'.
Indian Wars (4.15)
- Vieques: Hey, 6 minutes never killed anybody.
- Castillo: I can kill 20 men in 6 minutes.
- Joe Dan Jumper: [Before jumping down from the balcony] Hey, you know what they say, brother man. Better to die a hero than to live on your knees.
Hell Hath No Fury (4.17)
- Castillo: (In response to the way the Vice team handled the Beaks case) Your behavior in the Beaks case was abominable...you allowed your personal feelings to influence your performance as police officers. I have to be able to treat you like professionals...if you're not prepared to act like professionals in the future, I would like your transfer requests on my desk by the end of the day.
Badge of Dishonor (4.18)
- Tubbs: I can understand the idea of being invisible, but don't you think you're taking your, uh, cover a little bit too far?
- Montana Stone: I don't know. You live undercover, don't you?
- Tubbs: Yeah.
- Montana: You wear thousand-dollar suits and bounce around in a Caddy?
- Tubbs: Yeah? So?
- Montana: So I get my clothes out of dumpsters and I live in a box. We're both after the same thing. You have to work with the scum suckers. I prefer to bust 'em.
- Tubbs: So am I gonna start searching or you gonna make it easy?
- Montana: You're looking at it.
- Tubbs: Come on, Montana. It's too late to start playin' games.
- Montana: This ain't no game, man. Out there, that's a game, but these people's lives are at stake.
- Tubbs: These people's lives are at stake? It's funny to hear you say that. Where's the money?
- Montana: Like I said, this is it.
- Tubbs: Are you tellin' me that you put 200 easy grand into this place?
- Montana: It went pretty fast. The lot cost 125,000. By the time everybody else got their cut, I was left with 50,000 for food and medicine and bedding and sheets and soap and towels, you know?
- Tubbs: Why'd you do it with dirty money? Why didn't you just go out and get a grant or something?
- Montana: Oh, right, right. I tried that once. Ran into a big brick wall. Probably would have had better luck if I said it was for freedom fighters.
- Tubbs: The means justify the ends?
- Montana: You never once heard me try to justify murder.
- Tubbs: I never once heard you try to make it anything better either.
- Montana: You just don't get it, do you?
- Tubbs: I want you to help us with the sting.
- Montana: Colón is too nervous already about the amount of stuff he's sitting on.
- Tubbs: Just bring me in as an out-of-town mover. We'll pay him top dollar to take it off his hands.
- Montana: Look, Tubbs, if you're talking deal...
- Tubbs: I'm not talking deal. What I'm saying is I'll lay it out to my lieutenant, and if he goes for it, what do you want?
- Montana: What do I want? What do I want? This! The remainder of my cut is sitting in a trust fund to keep this shelter running. If you want my help, you make sure that that is untouchable.
- Tubbs: I'll do the best I can.
- Colon: Something bothering you, Stone?
- Montana: Yeah, a lot of things bother me, Colon. Do you want me to make a list for you?
- Colon: That always seems to be your problem, Montana.
Deliver Us From Evil (Part 1) (4.21)
- Castillo: There's no place for personal vendettas in this department.
- Frank Hackman: Looks like we're even.
- Crockett: Even? No. Not even close.
- Hackman: I guess I'm busted. You enjoying your stay on the island? How do you like the place? Took me a few weeks to get everything set up, you know. I had to figure out where I wanted to retire, find a house, furnish it, get some of my stuff sent down. I'd hate to leave. I'm just getting comfortable.
- Crockett: Get up.
- Hackman: I'm afraid I got other plans, Crockett. Plans I made with the local judge and the police, which involve their pensions. See, I'm really a very altruistic guy.
- Crockett: Get up.
- Hackman: No way. No way, I sure as hell know the same way you couldn't let an innocent man be executed, that you can't shoot an unarmed man.
- Crockett: Wrong.
Mirror Image (Part 2) (4.22)
- Crockett: I may be short-circuited a little, but I know this game.
- Jimmy Hagovitch: Maybe we could deal together.
- Crockett: Ah, I don't think so. I don't deal with dirty cops.
- Hagovitch: Look who's talkin'. You're good, Crockett. But you're not that good. You start 'em up.
- Crockett: Name's Burnett.
- Hagovitch: Yeah, whatever.
- Crockett: That's B-U-R-N-E-double T.
Hostile Takeover (Part 3) (5.1)
- Crockett: Did I miss something?
- Celeste: Where you been? I've been waiting for you.
- Crockett: Business, darling.
- Celeste: Nobody keeps me waiting. Nobody.
- Crockett: So have another bottle of Champagne. Maybe you'll think I was on time.
- Celeste: You bastard. You're nothing but a punk in a silk suit!
Redemption in Blood (Part 4) (5.2)
- Tubbs: Sonny, don't you recognize me?
- Crockett: Uh, you're Cooper.
- Tubbs: Sonny, it's me, Rico.
- Crockett: Rico?
- Tubbs: Yeah.
- Crockett: Yeah. Yeah, sure. I know you. You're Tubbs.
- Tubbs: Yeah.
- Crockett: And you're a cop.
- Tubbs: We were friends. No, we were more than that. Partners. You tried to kill me, man. Twice.
- Crockett: Yeah, I know.
- Tubbs: That's the problem, Sonny. That is the problem.
Heart of Night (5.3)
- Gina: Don't tell me you're back!
- Switek: He never worked Sundays before.
- Trudy: And we were just getting used to the peace and quiet.
- Tubbs: Lieutenant, look who's here. We think it's Crockett.
- Crockett: Cute, Rico.
- Tubbs: See you on the wanted posters, Sonny.
Bad Timing (5.4)
- Walter Mills: You should submit yourself to a psychiatric examination, after which your status will be re-evaluated.
- Tubbs: Hey, don't look so glum, partner. It could've been worse.
- Crockett: Right.
- Tubbs: Hey look, you go see the psychiatrist, he checks you out, and you're back in business.
- Crockett: Yeah, sure. I just listened to what everyone said in there. The things I've done, the things I can't remember. I can't believe that that was me. Jesus, Rico. What kind of a person am I?
- Crockett: When anything went down my friends were always there for me. Rico.. God, I love that guy. But now he's afraid of me. Rico thinks, they all think that I could become Burnett again. And that scares me, too. Would you trust me? God, I'm not even sure if I trust myself anymore. What do you think, Doc? Am I ready for Bonkersville?
- Dr. Samantha Phillips: No. You've been through a terrible trauma, your fears are very real. It's just gonna take some time for your friends to come around.
- Crockett: You think they will?
- Dr. Samantha Phillips: Yeah. But first, you have to take care of yourself. You need a vacation.
- Tubbs: Hell of a vacation, huh?
- Crockett: It's just another day at the beach, partner.
- Switek: [To Tubbs] You know, you look better without a beard.
- Tubbs: We don't know who stopped him from escaping.
- Castillo: I know.
- Tubbs: I just wanted to bring you up to date.
- Castillo: Stay. I've always tried to do what's right. That's the code I live by. Do you understand that?
Line of Fire (5.6)
- Crockett: [About Keith] You believe that? Do you believe what we just heard?
- Tubbs: Yeah, kind of reminds me of you.
- Keith Mollis: Those wankers can't tell one metalhead from another. To them, we all look alike.
- Keith: Causes and protests, man. That's just like lame stuff from the '60s.
- Crockett: Yeah, idealism is for fat girls with guitars right?
- Keith: You got it.
- Crockett: Little fishies in the brook...
- Keith: Yeah, right.
- Crockett: ...come and bite my little hook.
- Keith: Paraffin seal. Nice work.
- Crockett: How do you know about that?
- Keith: Oh, we used to chuck them at Metallica concerts. Just kidding.
- Keith: Ripping, man.
- Tubbs: We even brought you some ammo.
- Keith: Anthrax, Megadeth, Crumbsuckers...
- Crockett: Yeah.
- Keith: Honestly? You like this stuff, Crockett?
- Crockett: Honestly? All my favorites.
Asian Cut (5.7)
- Tegoro: Does this excite you, Detective?
- Crockett: I'll tell you, what really excites me is the thought of you in a cell somewhere with all the fathers of the daughters that you've turned out. Now, that's exciting.
- Tubbs: [About Stuart] He calls himself a reporter. But they only use the papers he writes for to line trash cans.
To Have and to Hold (5.10)
- Caroline: Billy's really upset, Sonny. This is the third time he's gotten in trouble at school.
- Crockett: Did Bob talk to him?
- Caroline: He won't talk to Bob. That's part of the problem.
- Crockett: Well, did you talk to him, before you guys decided to have the baby?
- Caroline: We didn't decide. It just kind of happened. I mean we're really thrilled about it, but it was an accident.
- Crockett: Damn, Caroline. We're not teenagers anymore. For God's sake.
- Caroline: Oh, that's just great. You, of all people. You, with your swinging lifestyle, and your women, and your fast cars, come up here and judge me. For once in my life, just once, I want to do something without asking someone's permission, and you come down on me like a hammer. Well, I'm sorry, Sonny. I'm sorry I even called you.
- Crockett: Look, I just thought it might have been a good thing to discuss the possibility with him. I mean, beforehand.
- Caroline: You're right. You're right, I should have talked to him. And now, it's too late. And he'll probably never forgive me for this. And I guess I'm just a terrible mother. Okay?
- Crockett: Caroline, listen. Your hormones are all happening and you're blowing this thing all out of proportion.
- Caroline: Oh, I don't know.
- Crockett: I'll talk to him. Come here. Take it easy. I'll talk to him. We'll make it work. So what do you say, you name this one Sonny?
- Billy: Dad, why can't I come live with you?
- Crockett: Billy, man, there's nothing I'd love more in the world than have you come live with me.
- Billy: All right!
- Crockett: No, no, no, come on, let me finish.
Too Much, Too Late (5.20)
- Tubbs: So how you feeling?
- Yvonne: Great. This is how I get my kicks.
- Valerie: It's too late for us, isn't it?
- Tubbs: Woman...
- Valerie: I'm sorry, Rico. I'm so very sorry.
- Tubbs: Yeah, social life in the '80s, isn't it a kick?
- Andrew Baker: Hey, what the hell have you done?
- Tubbs: Just swatted an insect. You got a problem with it?
- Baker: Yeah, I got a problem. Borbon was working for us. He was gonna give us names.
- Crockett: But not the name, right Baker? This whole damn mess was a setup from the get.
- Baker: What a couple of lightweights. What, do you think this is cops and robbers? It's not about your personal sense of justice.
- Crockett: What's it about, Baker? Is it about protecting dictators and letting drug dealers go free? Is that it?
- Baker: Take a look at the map, Crockett. Real estate's turning red all over this hemisphere. Your brand of law and order went out with Wyatt Earp. There's only two things that count, American interests and anything that's counter to 'em.
- Tubbs: You're what's counter to it, Baker. You and all those slick deal-making lawyers.
- Baker: I don't make policy. I enforce it.
- Crockett: And cover it up when it goes wrong.
- Baker: That's right, and I got carte blanche, babe. I could shoot you right now, easy. Pin it on Borbon. No one's ever gonna ask any questions.
- Crockett: Do it. If you got the stones.
- Baker: Hey, punk! Cowboy! I'm gonna have your badges for this. That's a promise! It's not over, Crockett.
- Martin Castillo: You don't have to do this.
- Crockett: It's been a long time coming, anyway.
- Castillo: I'll back you.
- Tubbs: Thanks, Lieutenant, but there's no other way.
- Castillo: Think about this.
- Crockett: What are you doing here? I figured you'd be halfway to New York by now.
- Tubbs: Everything always takes longer than you think.
- Crockett: Well, we had one hell of a run, didn't we, partner?
- Tubbs: Yeah, we sure did, Sonny.
- Crockett: So, you really gonna go back up to the big bad Bronx?
- Tubbs: Yeah, it looks that way. How about you?
- Crockett: I don't know. Somewhere further south. Somewhere where the water's warm and the drinks are cold and I don't know the names of the players. I'm gonna miss you, man.
- Tubbs: I'm gonna miss you too, Sonny.
- Crockett: Can I give you a ride to the airport?
- Tubbs: Why not?
- Crockett: In my stolen car.
- Crockett: Hey, Tubbs, you ever consider a career in southern law enforcement?
- Tubbs: Maybe. Maybe.
- Don Johnson - Detective James "Sonny" Crockett
- Philip Michael Thomas - Detective Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs
- Edward James Olmos - Lieutenant Martin Castillo
- Gregory Sierra - Lieutenant Lou Rodriguez
- Saundra Santiago - Detective Gina Navarro Calabrese
- Olivia Brown - Detective Trudy "Big Booty" Joplin
- Michael Talbott - Stanley "Stan" Switek
- John Diehl - Detective Laurence "Larry" Zito