Mommie Dearest

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Mommie Dearest is a 1981 biographical drama film about Joan Crawford, starring Faye Dunaway. The film was directed by frank Perry. The story was adapted for the screen by Robert Getchell, Tracy Hotchner, Frank Perry, and Frank Yablans, based on the 1978 autobiographu of the same name by Christina Crawford.

To my darling Christina, with love...Mommie Dearest taglines

Joan Crawford portrayed by Faye Dunaway[edit]

  • NO... WIRE... HANGERS! What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you no wire hangers, ever?! I work and work until I'm half-dead, and I hear people say, "She's getting old." And what do I get? A daughter... who cares as much about the beautiful dresses I give her... as she cares about ME! What's wire hangers doing in this closet?! ANSWER ME! I buy you beautiful dresses, and you treat them like they were some dishrag! You do! $300 dress on a wire hanger? We'll see how many you've got, if they're hidden somewhere! We'll see! We'll see! Get out of that bed. All of this is coming out! Out, out, out, out, out, out, out!!! You got any more? We're gonna see how many wire hangers you've got in your closet! [throws items out of Christina's closet onto the floor despite Christina's protests, and soon discovers a second dress on a wire hanger] A wi... wire hanger! WHY?! WHY?!!!! Christina, get out of that bed. Get out of that bed! You live in the most beautiful house in Brentwood... [begins beating Christina with the hanger, as Christina screams and cries in pain] ...and you don't care if your clothes get stretched out from wire hangers?! And your room looks like some $2-a-week furnished room in some two-bit back street town in Oklahoma!
  • You're nothing but a rotten, crooked lawyer...supplying the grease to make this shitty movie business work.
  • Tina, bring me the axe!
  • When you polish the floor you have to move the tree.
  • I'm not mad at you, Helga, I'm mad at the dirt!
  • Scrub. Scrub, Christina. It's not. This floor is not clean! Look at it! Jesus Christ! This floor is not clean! None of it... this floor is not clean. Nothing is clean. This whole place is a mess!
  • Clean up this mess!
  • Tear down that BITCH of a bearing wall and put a window where it ought to be!
  • You figure it out.
  • You think you're pretty clever, don't you? Trying to sweep the poor little widow under the carpet? Well... [chuckles nastily]... think again. I'm on the board of directors of this lousy company.
  • You drove Al Steele to his grave and now you're trying to stab ME in the back?!! FORGET IT! I fought worse monsters than you for years in Hollywood! I know how to win the hard way! ... You don't know what hard feelings are until I come out publicly against your product, and you'll see how much you sell.
  • DON'T FUCK WITH ME, FELLAS! This ain't my first time at the rodeo. You forget the press I delivered to Pepsi was MY POWER. I can use it any way I want. It's a sword, cuts both ways.
  • I should have known you'd know where to find the boys and the booze!
  • Who wants to go swimming?
  • Ah... you lost again!
  • Ah, but nobody ever said that life was fair, Tina. I'm bigger and I'm faster. I will always beat you.
  • Don't you ever use that tone of voice again with me, Missy!...Who do you think you're talking to?!...I'll tell you what you're going to do: You are going to march yourself upstairs to your room, and will stay there, until I tell you to come out! ... All right, all right! You will stay in here until you are ready to behave, and... and to apologize!!!
  • I don't ask much from you, girl...Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to?! Why can't you treat me like I would be treated by any stranger on the street?
  • Let's go!
  • Maybe I did it for a little extra publicity-- that's not true! You know that's not true!
  • When I told you to call me that, I wanted you to mean it.
  • You love it don't you!? You love to make me hit you!!!
  • Barbara, please! Please Barbara! Leave us alone, Barbara, if you need anything ask Carol Anne...This is wonderful, THIS IS WONDERFUL! You- you deliberately embarrassed me in front of a reporter! A REPORTER! I TOLD YOU HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO ME, I TOLD YOU!!
  • I can handle the socks.
  • It all comes out in the wash.
  • So was I, "only a kid". I learned early: life goes by too damned fast, you gotta learn how to compete, and win. I don't want her growing up a spoiled Hollywood brat, just because she's Crawford's daughter.
  • Bend the law.
  • My regards to your school and its impeccable reputation.
  • Don't you dare judge me.
  • Because I'm damn mad at you!
  • I should have the word "property of MGM" tattooed on my backside.
  • I am not acting.
  • Is this an institution of learning or a teenage brothel.
  • Mayer should know the price I pay!
  • Christina! Christopher! Damnit!
  • Unsuitable?
  • What you're doing is denying one of your kids a wonderful and privileged life. How sad that is.
  • You think your life's a mystery? There isn't a dirty cover-up in this entire business that I don't know about and your hand is in every one of them! You reek of it!
  • Please don't leave, because if you do, you'll never come back in again, no matter what you say, or ask, or do.
  • You love it, don't you! YOU LOVE TO MAKE ME HIT YOU!
  • What are you doing playing, going through my things? Making fun of me?
  • What have you done to this damn hair?! Don't you tell me what I'm doing and don't tell me "Don't"! I know you look awful! You be quiet! You're always rummaging through my drawers! Trying to find a way to make people look at you! Why are you always looking at yourself in the mirror? WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! TELL ME!!! You sit still now! This ought to teach you! You're vain! Spoiled! I'D RATHER YOU GO BALD TO SCHOOL THAN LOOKING LIKE A TRAMP! You spoiled it! Why? You spoiled it! YOU SPOILED IT JUST LIKE I SPOILED YOU!!!!
  • She negotiates everything like a goddamned Hollywood agent!
  • Times are tough, but still I treat you to a lovely evening, and I get smart-aleck backtalk!
  • [when Carol Ann tells her of the praise Christina is receiving for her own acting:] Well... something good had to rub off.
  • And Christina, if you don't get the part... for Chrissakes, don't hock 'em.
  • Why must EVERYTHING be a CONTEST?
  • [when Christina discovers her mother took away her dolls:] That's good, darling. They were thoughtless, selfish, spoiled children. Now they won't wake you up when you need your rest.

Christina Crawford portrayed by Diana Scarwid / Mara Hoble[edit]

  • Adopted children are luckiest because they were chosen.
  • Don't you act for me! I wanna know... why did you adopt me?!
  • Because I am not one of your FANS!!!
  • Maybe just a little true.
  • Does she? Does she...?
  • Jesus Christ!
  • No, go back. Strap yourself in. She'll kill me if she finds out.
  • But that's not fair, you're bigger than I am! It's not fair to win twice...
  • Then I'm not gonna play with you anymore...EVER!
  • Yes, Mommie Dearest. Uncle Ted.
  • I fix all of my uncles' drinks this way.
  • I need so be able to believe that now.
  • That... is a LIE.
  • My character is only 28 years old.
  • Why did you tell her I got expelled?
  • [performing a scene from Antigone] "Understand"? The first word I ever heard, out of any of you, was that word, "understand". There'll be time enough to understand when I'm old, if I ever am old. Oh, but not now.
  • I've had my vitamins this morning. PILLS!
  • If she doesn't like you... she can make you disappear.
  • [to her dolls:] You were very, very bad to wake Mommie up, very naughty. I told you, Mommie has to be beautiful today. This afternoon, she has to see MR. MAYER. Today is so important. You are selfish and thoughtless. You must learn to think about other people. You are bad, bad, spoiled children.


  • To my darling Christina, with love...Mommie Dearest
  • The meanest mother of them all...
  • Meet the biggest MOTHER of them all!
  • The greatest role of her life...was her life.
  • Faye Dunaway is Joan Crawford, a star...a legend...and a mother...The illusion of perfection.
  • One thing is certain: You'll never look at a wire hanger the same way again!


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