Monkey Wrench (YouTube series)
Monkey Wrench (2022–present) is an Indie animated science fiction comedy show on YouTube follows the misadventures of alien mercenary duo Shrike Sanchez and Bulldog "Beebs" Brown as they cruise the galaxy in search of decent paying contracts
Season 1
[edit]The Ghost Egg [1.1]
[edit]- [Beebs is watching the news on how casino owner and League of Aligned Worlds (L.A.W.) lobbyist Chester McNevins was murdered by top assassin Kara]
- Beebs: Yeesh. Poor bastard. [Shrike walks into the bridge] Hey, it lives! Good sleep?
- Shrike: Sleep's good till you wake up, amigo. [Beebs turns off the TV] What are ya watchin'? Anything good?
- Beebs: Just the news, as miserable as ever. Looks like that Kara character struck down another wealthy L.A.W. supporter.
- Shrike: Eh, probably deserved it, supporting L.A.W. and all. Oh! And speaking of miserable, WHEN WE GONNA GET A.G. IN HERE?! [pulls out a roll of duct tape from the gem on the back of his head] I'm runnin' outta this stuff!
- Beebs: We'll get artificial gravity when we can afford it. Have you seen our position on the board? [gestures to Monkey Wrench's low ranking on the merc leaderboard] We can't even think about fixing up the Bucket yet. Slogging through lesser jobs to get to better paying ones is part of the game. It wasn't just me starting this merc company. You gotta pull your weight, too.
- Shrike: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. So, what's the plan? You know, for the job?
- Beebs: The client said he'll meet up with us on the planet below at these coordinates. Looks pretty remote. Being so far out, my guess is that he doesn't want too much "attention." Once we're down there, he said he'll discuss the "full terms," at least that's what I can make out.
- Shrike: [looks at client's information] 100k pixels, eh? Not bad. Hmm, looks like he just wants a... bodyguard or something? All the way out here, though. Eh, sounds super shady to me, amigo. Hmm, who writes like this?
- Beebs: We'll find out when we get down there. Not as if we can't handle ourselves if things get rough.
- Shrike: Ugh, at least the pay is better than the last job you got us. I am never removing super ticks off a jumbo space whale ever again for measly 25k! AAAH! Man, I need my pizza fix, and soon.
- Beebs: How about once this job's over, and to make up for the last job, we go hit up the nearest Pizzapocolypse? You can get your favorite!
- Shrike: Oh... 15 Cheese...
- Beebs and Shrike: Atomic Supreme.
- [Shrike and Beebs arrive on the remote planet to find their client: Nobert Potoo]
- Shrike: This? This is the guy?! [chuckles] I swear if this is some sort of--
- Beebs: [pushes Shrike] Shh. Let me handle it. [to Nobert] So, you're Nobert? You don't look exactly like your profile.
- Nobert: No, no profiling meeeee!
- Beebs: [to Shrike] It sounds like him. [to Nobert] You contacted us about doing a job for you two days ago?
- Nobert: No, no Nobert, job Ghost Egg! Ghost Egg!
- Beebs: Is... is that a yes? Ghost egg...?
- Nobert: Noooo.
- Shrike: Este loro está locoooooo....
- Beebs: [elbows Shrike] You said you'd provide us with the full job turns when we got down here?
- Nobert: GHOST EGGING MEEEE!!!!
- Shrike: Ghost egg? Eh, whu... WHAT GHOST EGG?!?
- Nobert: Ghost egg... COMIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!
- Beebs: Shh! It's okay! Calm down! No one's gonna... "ghost egg" you?
- Shrike: [pulls out his laser gun] Can I shoot him please?
- Nobert: No! Gonna ghost egg me!
- Shrike: Beebs, please don't tell me we came all this way- a trip that took two days of blue space travel, mind you -to some swamp-ass-armpit of a solar system to protect a neurotic lunatic who thinks he's being haunted by a... PHANTOM FREAKING EGG?!?!
- Beebs: Mate, we're already here. We're doing it.
- Shrike: [hiding his rage] Alright, fine. How long we gotta put up with this little freak?
- [Nobert types something on Beebs' tablet and gives it to him]
- Beebs: Says he needs us to escort him to dock 57 on Oberon station. There he can be... "free from Ghost Egg." His words, not mine.
- Shrike: Wait, Oberon? But that's at least 6 days trip from here. Heh, you saying I gotta put up with him and his phantom huevos for SIX WHOLE DAYS?!? Ay yai yai yai yai!
- Beebs: The money's right, and besides, just look at him. Poor guy could use a break.
- Shrike: Oh, he's dealing with a break, alright. [sighs] Alright, let's go, egg man. 10k pixels say this'll be boring as hell.
- [an explosion occurs on the end of the hall]
- Shrike: Eh?
- Beebs: What the..?
- Nobert: GHOST EGG!!! [jumps onto Shrike]
- [Ricket and several space pirates appear]
- Ricket: There's the bird, lad! Get him for Queen Tyneen!
- [Beebs pull out his plasma weapon and points to Shrike tauntingly]
- Shrike: Hey, we didn't shake on it! I OWE YOU NOTHING!!! [grabs his laser guns and fires it at the space pirates]
- [Shrike, Beebs and Nobert has escaped the space pirates; the duo find that there's a bounty of 10 million pixels on Nobert's head]
- Tyneen: Yo, Ricket, what up? You got the bird, right? Bring Mama some of that good news!
- Ricket: Sorry, Mama. No good news. That bird got the Monkey Wrench guys as escorts under some sorta merc contract thing. From the sound of it, they're taking him to Oberon.
- Tyneen: Sanchez? They not after the bounty the Potoo's gave him? Ha! Get your ass back up here, Ricket. We're heading out! [over the intercom on her ship] Alright, listen up! All sights on that idiot Sanchez! When his ship escapes the atmosphere, I want everybody ready to board that heap of scrap! We'll kick the crap out of him and take bird by force! And once we have, WE'LL FORCE THE POTOOS TO QUADRUPLE THE PAYOUT!!! [laughs maniacally] I really want that money for a new battle cruiser. SPOOPS!!!
- Spoops: Yes, mammy-jammy!
- Tyneen: Be ready to target Sanchez's ship. And fire the grapple the moment they get in range!
- Spoops: Aye-aye, Queeny-weeny! Grapple-wapple go zip-zoom-kaboom! [giggles and activates the ship's grapple as soon as the Bucket leaves the planet's atmosphere]
- Space Pirate: Target sighted, Captain!
- Tyneen: Ready, aim...
- Beebs: Dude, they're already getting a lock on us!
- Shrike: Don't worry, it's fine! All we gotta do is jump outta here, like right now!
- Beebs: You did make sure Nobert was comfortable before we hit blue space, right?
- Shrike: Yup, I tucked him in nice and tight! [the camera shows Nobert strapped to Shrike's bed with duct tape] Hang on to your cheeks, amigo! WE'RE OUTTA HERE!!! [stomps on the ship's gas pedal]
- Tyneen: FIRE!!! [the Bucket zooms into blue space just before the grapple could grab it]
- Spoops: Uh-oh! Too late! Birdie go bye-bye!
- Tyneen: [angrily pounds her fist on her seat] Deep breath. It's okay, Tyneen girl. Calm down. It doesn't matter! We know where they're headed! We'll just have to ambush them at Oberon!
- Fodder: Uh, actually, Your Toothiness, if I may interject, if we had just headed to Oberon instead of attacking them just now, then they wouldn't know we were coming and we could have had the element of surprise on our side.
- [Tyneen glares at the fodder; Scene changes to the space pirate ship entering red space while the fodder has been ejected into space]
- [Shrike gets a call from his bracelet phone]
- Shrike: Hey, if you can't tell, I'm a little busy right now, so call back later! Oh, unless this happens to be that fine señorita from Antares 4...
- Scratch: Hey, squid man! My man! My amigo, as you're so fond of saying. How's it goin'?
- Shrike: Oh, hey! It's you... Scratch. Uh, qué tal, animal?
- Scratch: So, I hear you're in possession of a "certain someone" with a rather hefty bounty on their wee, tender head, hmm?
- Shrike: I don't know where you heard that, heh!
- Scratch: [sees Nobert appearing behind Shrike] Dude, he's right there. I can clearly see him. Besides, word's gotten out that you guys are honoring his contract instead of handing his head over to the appropriate authorities? Who are you?! That's not the Sanchez I know! You would've jumped on that like a fat kid on a cupcake!
- Shrike: WHAT?! Me?! I would never-- It was Beebs' idea.
- Scratch: [gasps] And here I thought we were amigos. How could you lie to me like that, man?! I'm hurt! [as Scratch continues trying to guilt-trip Shrike looks at Beebs, who simply shrugs] I think... I... oop, oh no, there it goes, I'm heartbroken. Shame. After all I've done for you. Helped ya set up your company. Got ya a great deal on the Bucket. THE BUCKET!!
- Shrike: [pretending to be heartfelt] Aww, por amor de dios. Tug at my heartstrings, why don't you? Aww... [angrily] What'll make you go away?!
- Scratch: Well, I nice gesture a true amigo would do... would be to give us the bird. I'm gonna need that bounty money more than ever to replace the heart that you just broke. And, you know... [deviously] for all the other things you still owe me, too.
- Shrike: They only thing I owe you... is a swift kick up the culo!
- Scratch: Fine! If you wanna be that way, I'll just have Scritch here blow you guys to smithereens and I'll the bird that way. Your call, AMIGO!!
- Beebs: He's got a lock on us.
- Shrike: [groans in frustration] Fine! Whatever will make you leave me the hell alone! Gonna need your coordinates if you want me to send him over.
- Scratch: [gasps] Oh, goodie! We're just at your 7 o-clock high, MUMEEGO! [Shrike aims one of the Bucket's cannons at Scratch's ship] What?
- [the cannon blasts Scratch's ship into the horizon]
- Shrike: [gives the middle finger to Scratch] Amigo THAT, pendejo!
- Beebs: So, now that's over, you wanna take Nobert back to his quarters? If Tyneen and Scratch know about his bounty, then were sure as hell got a lot more trouble comin'.
- Shrike: Hey, I welcome anything that'll liven up this 6-day-long babysit, amigo. [grabs Nobert] Oh, come here, you!
- Nobert: No, Ghost Egg! No! No!
- Beebs: This is gonna be a fine couple of days. Time to buckle up.
- [Shrike, Beebs and Nobert finally arrive at Oberon]
- Shrike: I can't wait to be rid of this guy! I never wanna hear a "nooOOOooo" ever again!
- Beebs: [carrying Nobert in a sack] The Bucket'll be a lot more quiet without him. I think I might even miss him.
- Shrike: After this, it's onward to Pizzapocolypse! And my 15 Cheese Atomic Supreme, baby!
- Beebs: I don't know how you can that thing and survive, man.
- Nobert: [pops his head out of the sack] GHOST E-- [Beebs shoves his head back in]
- [just as Nobert is about to sign the contract; Kara is about to pounce on them, only to have Tyneen and Scratch beat her to it]
- Shrike: Oh, hey! Fancy seeing you guys here! Did you come to see him off, too? Well, I hope you brought some tissues, it's gonna be a very touching farewell!
- Tyneen: Shut it, Sanchez! Hand over the bird, and you won't be hurt too badly...
- Scratch: Yeah! Forfeit the fowl!
- Ricket: Hey! The Queen got here first, fur bag! We had dibs!
- Scratch: What do you MEAN DIBS?! The bird's bounty rightfully belongs to me! MINE, BONEHEAD!!!
- Ricket: Aww, look at the fat widdle kitty-maow... [pats Scratch's head] He's twying to pway piwate.
- Scratch: OH, YOU'RE ASKING FOR IT NOW, YOU DUMB BONER!!!!
- [after a fight sequence, Nobert lands into Ricket's arms]
- Ricket: I got him, guys! I got him! [sees Kara behind him] Huh? Uh, what's that? [Kara fires binds at Shrike, Tyneen, Ricket, Scratch and Scritch] Oh, goodness!
- [Kara catches Nobert with her zero point energy]
- Shrike: Huh? Hey, no binds! That's cheating!
- [Kara glares at Shrike]
- Tyneen: No way! Is that Kara?!
- Shrike: Kara, Kara... Wait. Isn't she that elite assassin chick that's been-- WAIT, ASSASSIN?! [Kara silently taunts Shrike] Oh, no you don't! That bird is mine!
- [Shrike manages to stop Kara by throwing a roll of duct tape at her]
- Shrike: Hey, Gatita! Hold it, hold it. Look, it has been a long six days, and I've had next to no peace and quiet thanks to him and his constant "no's," guys like you coming in and busting and busting my ass. And as much as I'd like to off the little weirdo myself, I have a contract to uphold, and I really really want some pizza! So, please, make this easy for me and step away from him! NOW!!!
- [Suddenly, a large egg-shaped craft appears behind Kara]
- Shrike and Beebs: Ghost Egg?!
- '[a battalion of bird soldiers come out of the egg craft along with Queen Potoo; Kara presents Nobert to Queen Potoo]
- Tyneen: Queen Potoo?!
- Nobert: No, Mommy!
- Queen Potoo: No run away, son! No run away from responsibilities!
- Nobert: No, hate it!
- Queen Potoo: Come home, empire need yoooouuuu!
- Nobert: Noooo!
- Queen Potoo: Pleeeaaase!
- Nobert: Noooo!
- Queen Potoo: Pleeeaaase!
- [as Nobert and Queen Potoo continue bickering, Shrike, Beebs and Tyneen are staring in shock and confusion]
- Nobert: Noooo!
- Queen Potoo: Pleeeaaase!
- Nobert: Noooo!
- Queen Potoo: PLEEEAAASE!!!!
- Nobert: [give in] Yes, Mother.
- [Queen Potoo, Nobert and the bird soldiers board the egg craft and fly away; Kara claims the bounty and leaves]
- Tyneen: Well, there goes my new battle cruiser. [runs after Kara] Miss Kara, wait! Sign my pecs!
- Beebs: Heh, if that don't beat all.
- Shrike: After all that, Beebs, we... we didn't get payed. [cries hysterically] MY PIZZAAAAAAAA!!!
- [As Beebs carries Shrike back to the Bucket, Scratch and Scritch runs in, just missed what happened]
- Scratch: What? I... Oh...
- [Killix and Sixty-Two are transporting a mysterious crate]
- Sixty-Two: This the thing that people have been killed over? Hmm, don't look that special to me.
- Killix: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What if it's cursed? Maybe we're next!
- Sixty-Two: Eh, whatever it is, I ain't risin' my life for it.
- Killix: But Commander Tezzoree said to--
- Sixty-Two: Heh, nuts to her! Let's just pawn it off to someone else! Our shift's almost over, anyways.
- Killix: If you say so.
Lythop Liberation [1.2]
[edit]Us & Them [1.3]
[edit]Cast
[edit]- Jacob Barrens - Shrike Sanchez
- Jean-Francois Donaldson - Bulldog "Beebs" Brown
- Chris Zito - Scratch
- Niko Vargas - Queen Tyneen
- Logan Calderwood - Ricket