[while Sulley brushes his teeth] C'mon, fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque!
[chants] I don't know, but it's been said. I love scaring kids in bed!
Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Tell me it's a new haircut. It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in you that makes you look like...Listen, I need a favor.
I can't believe that we're waltzing up to the factory!
(angrily) Now, put that thing back where it came from, or so help me...!
Hey, hey, that's it! No one touches little Mikey.
Oh, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face when that wall went up. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the company in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?
[after whacking Sulley with a scream canister] You don't know how long I've wanted to do that, Sullivan!
[about to dispose of Sulley] Look at everybody's favorite scarer now, you stupid pathetic waste. You've been #1 for too long, Sullivan! Now your time is up! And don't worry. I'll take good care of the kid.
Henry J. Waternoose
There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you! Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory. Right into the monster world!
Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to.
[taken away by the C.D.A.] I hope you're happy, Sullivan. You've destroyed this company! Monsters Incorporated is dead! Where will everyone get their scream now?! The energy crisis will only get worse because of YOU!
Mike: I'm telling you, big daddy, you're gonna be seeing this face on TV a lot more often.
Sulley: Yeah, like on "Monstropolis' Most Wanted"?
Mike: Ha, ha, ha. You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.
[Sulley has insisted on walking to work]
Mike: You wanna know why I bought the car, Sulley?
Sulley: Not really.
Mike: To drive it! You know, like on the street, with the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking involved?
Sulley: Wa, wa, wa, wa. Will you give it a rest, butterball? C'mon, you could use the exercise.
Mike: I could use the exercise? Look at you! You have your own climate.
Celia: So, uh... are we going anywhere special tonight?
Mike: I just got us into a little place called, um...Harryhausen's.
Celia: Harryhausen's?! But it's impossible to get a reservation there.
Mike: Not for Googlie Bear. I will see you at quitting time, and not a minute later.
Celia: Okay, sweetheart.
Mike: Think romantical thoughts. [singing] You and me, me and you, both of us together!
Mike: Can I borrow your odorant?
Sulley: Yeah, I got, uh, smelly garbage or old dumpster.
Mike: You got, uh, low tide?
Mike: How about wet dog?
Sulley: Yep. Stink it up.
Mike: [to Sulley] Y'know, sometimes I feel so romantic, I think I should just marry myself!
Sulley: Give me a break, Mike...
Mike: What a night of romance I've got ahead of me! Tonight is about me and Celia! Hoo-hoo, the loveboat is about to set sail! I'm telling ya, pal, I see her face and it makes my heart go-- [finds himself face-to-face with Roz] YIKES!!!
Roz: [sternly] Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight?
Mike: Well, as a matter of fact--
Roz: And I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly...for once! [silence] Your stunned silence is very reassuring. [leaves]
Mike: Oh no, my scare reports! I left them on my desk! If I'm not at the restaurant in five minutes, they're gonna give our table away, what am I gonna tell--?! [Celia comes up to Mike] Schmoopsie-Pooh.
Celia: Hey Googly-Bear, wanna get going?
Mike: Do I ever? It's just that... Uh...
Mike: There's a small--
Celia: I don't understand.
Sulley: It's just I forgot about some paperwork I was supposed to file. Mike was reminding me; thanks, buddy.
Mike: I was? I mean, I was! Yeah, I was.
Celia: Okay, let's go then.
Mike: We're going! [whispering to Sulley] On my desk, Sulley. The pink copies go to accounting, the fuchsia ones go to purchasing, and the goldenrod ones go to Roz. [Celia pulls him away; he comes back] Leave the puce! [gets pulled away again]
Sulley: [to himself] So the pink copies go to purchasing, and the fuchsia ones go to Roz. No, the fuchsia ones go to purchasing and the goldenrod ones go to Roz. Man, I have no idea what puce is... [looks at some reddish-brown files] Oh, that's puce.
Celia: Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays - well, not a lot of birthdays, but this is the best birthday ever. What are you looking at?
Mike: I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.
Celia: Stop it.
Mike: Your hair was shorter then.
Celia: Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut. [the snakes in her hair look worried]
Mike: No-no, I like it this length. [the snakes sigh in relief] I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful monster was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said?
Celia: What did you say?
Mike: I said-- [sees Sulley trying to get his attention] Sulley?
Randall: Wazowski! Where's the kid, you little one-eyed crettin?!
Mike: Okay. First of all, it's cretin. If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping me is gonna help you cheat your way to the top!
Randall: [chuckles nastily] You still think this is about that stupid scare record?
Mike: Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled like that... and now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.
Sulley: [is fighting the invisible Randall when he is hit with a snowball] Mike?
Mike: Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid.
Sulley: Mike, you don't understand.
Mike: Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but you shouldn't have left me out there.
Sulley: I'm being attacked!
Mike: No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest, just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.
[Boo approaches Mike, frightened]
Sulley: I-I know, kid. He's too sensitive.
Mike: [Sulley is being strangled] Come on, pal. If you start crying, I'm gonna cry, and I'll never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now. Hey, Sulley, I am baring my soul here. The least you can do is pay attention!
[he throws a snowball; it hits Randall, making him visible enough for Sulley to knock him out]
Mike: Hey, look at that, it's Randall. It's... Oh.
Waternoose: This has gone far enough, James.
Sulley: She's home now! Just leave her alone!
Waternoose: I can't do that. She's seen too much. You both have.
Sulley: It doesn't have to be this way!
Waternoose: I have no choice! Times have changed. Scaring isn't enough anymore!
Sulley: But kidnapping children?!
Waternoose: I'll kidnap 1,000 children before I let this company die! And I'll silence anyone who gets in my way! [knocks Sulley out of the way]
[Waternoose knocks Sulley to the ground and lunges at Boo, but instead finds the simulator robot]