Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Appearance
Mr. & Mrs. Smith is a 2005 romantic action comedy film starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as a bored married couple who learn that they are both assassins hired by competing agencies to kill each other.
- Directed by Doug Liman and written by Simon Kinberg.
John Smith
[edit]- I guess that's what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning.
- We have an unusual problem here, Jane. You obviously want me dead, and I'm less and less concerned for your well-being.
- Option A: You talk, we listen, no pain. Option B: You don't talk, I remove your thumbs with my pliers, it will hurt. Option C: I like to vary the details a bit but the punch line is you die.
Others
[edit]- Jane Smith: Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet.
- Eddie: I live with my mom because I choose to. She's the only woman I've ever trusted.
Dialogue
[edit]- [first session with a marriage counselor]
- John: Ok, I'll go first. let me see... um... We don't really need to be here. See, we've been married for five years.
- Jane: Six.
- John: [chastened] Five or six years.
- [at the counselor's office]
- Counselor: How often do you have sex?
- Jane: I don't understand the question.
- John: Yeah I'm lost, is this a one to ten thing?
- Jane: Yeah, is, like, ten nothing or one? 'Cause tech- technically speaking, zero would be nothing.
- [after a long pause]
- Counselor: How 'bout this week?
- [another long pause]
- John: Including the weekends?
- Jane: There's this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything that we don't say to each other. What's that called?
- Marriage Counselor: Marriage.
- [about the new curtains Jane bought]
- Jane: If you don't like them we can take them back.
- John: All right, I don't like them.
- Jane: [pause] You'll get used to them.
- John: Careful, Jane. I can push the button any time I like.
- Jane: Baby, you couldn't find the button with both hands and a map.
- Jane: Promise me to leave the town or I will blow it.
- John: Ok... I give up. Please blow it.
- Jane: Excuse me. What?
- John: Go on. Blow it.
- Jane: You think I won't?
- John: I think you won't.
- Jane: OK. Five. Four. Any last words?
- John: Your new curtains are hideous.
- Jane: Goodbye John. [Janet hit's the PC keyboard and the bomb detonates. The monitor screen blacks out.] What the hell is this?
- Janet: You said Goodbye.
- John: [during a car chase] I never told you, but I was married once before. [Jane slams on the brakes] Ow! Are you insane? What's wrong with you!?
- Jane: [hitting John] You're what's wrong with me!
- John: It was a drunken Vegas thing.
- Jane: Oh, that's better! That's much better! [pause] What's her name and social security number?
- John: No, you're not gonna kill her.
- Jane: You deviated from the plan.
- John: The plan was flawed.
- Jane: The plan was not flawed.
- John: Anal.
- Jane: Organized.
- John: Jane, 90% of this job is instinct.
- Jane: Well, your instinct set off every alarm of the building.
- John: My instinct got the job done. It may not have been Jane Show...
- Jane: No! It was John Show. It was half-assed. Like Christmas, like our anniversary, like the time you forgot to bring my mother's birthday present.
- John: Your fake mother's birthday present.
- Jane: The point is, you are always the first to break team.
- John: You don't want a team. You want a servant to hire.
- Jane: I want someone I can count on.
- John: [sigh] Jane, there is no air around you any more.
- Janeh: Oh, what is that supposed to mean?
- John: That means there is no room for mistakes, whatsoever. No mistakes. No spontaneity. Who can answer that?
- Jane: Well, you don't have to. Because this is not even a real marriage!
- [brief ice cold silence]
- Danz: Who are you people?
- Jane: Shut up!!
- [at the marriage counselor's office]
- Counselor: At the scale of one to ten, how happy are you in this marriage?
- Jane: [quickly] Eight.
- John: Wait, is ten perfectly happy or...?
- Counselor: Just respond instinctively.
- John: [turns to Jane] You ready?
- Jane: Yeah.
- Together: Eight.
Cast
[edit]- Brad Pitt - John Smith
- Angelina Jolie - Jane Smith
- Vince Vaughn - Eddie
- Kerry Washington - Jasmine
- Adam Brody - Benjamin "The Tank" Danz
- Keith David - Father
- Chris Weitz - Martin Coleman
- Rachael Huntley - Suzy Coleman
- Michelle Monaghan - Gwen
- Benton Jennings - Maitre'D
- Stephanie March - Julie (Associate #1)
- Jennifer Morrison - Jade (Associate #2)
- Theresa Barrera - Janet (Associate #3)
- Perrey Reeves - Jessie (Associate #4)
- Melanie Tolbert - Jamie (Associate #5)
External links
[edit]- Mr. and Mrs. Smith quotes at the Internet Movie Database
- Mr. and Mrs. Smith at Rotten Tomatoes