Jump to content

Much Ado About Nothing

From Wikiquote
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
   Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore,
   To one thing constant never.

Much Ado About Nothing is a comedy by William Shakespeare thought to have been written between 1598 and 1599. The play was included in the First Folio, published in 1623.

The play is set in Messina and revolves around two romantic pairings that emerge when a group of soldiers arrive in the town. The first, between Claudio and Hero, is nearly scuppered by the accusations of the villain, Don John. The second, between Claudio's friend Benedick and Hero's cousin Beatrice, takes centre stage as the play continues, with both characters' wit and banter providing much of the humour.

W. G. Clark; W. A. Wright (eds.) The Works of William Shakespeare, vol. 2 (Cambridge and London: Macmillan and Co., 1863)

Act I

[edit]

Scene i

[edit]
  • A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers.
    • Leonato, l. 8


  • He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age; doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion: he hath indeed better bettered expectation, than you must expect of me to tell you how.
    • Messenger, l. 10


  • How much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping!
    • Leonato, l. 23


  • He is a very valiant trencher-man.
    • Beatrice, l. 41


  • Beatrice: What is he to a lord?
    Messenger: A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all honourable virtues.
    Beatrice: It is so indeed, he is no less than a stuffed man: but for the stuffing, — Well, we are all mortal.
    • l. 45


  • They never meet but there’s a skirmish of wit between them.
    • Leonato, l. 52


  • In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature.
    • Beatrice, l. 55


  • He wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block.
    • Beatrice, l. 62


  • Messenger: I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.
    Beatrice: No; an he were, I would burn my study.
    • l. 64


  • He is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere a’ be cured.
    • Beatrice, l. 70


  • Don Pedro: The fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it.
    Leonato: Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your Grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should remain; but when you depart from me, sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave.
    • l. 80


  • Benedick: What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?
    Beatrice: Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it, as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence.
    • l. 101


  • Benedick: I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none.
    Beatrice: A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor.
    • l. 106


  • I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.
    • Beatrice, l. 113


  • I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer.
    • Benedick, l. 120


  • I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart.
    • Don Pedro, l. 126


  • Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for my simple true judgment; or would you have me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex?
    • Benedick, l. 141


  • Benedick: Would you buy her, that you enquire after her?
    Claudio: Can the world buy such a jewel?
    • l. 151


  • Shall I never see a bachelor of threescore again?
    • Benedick, l. 170


  • Like the old tale, my lord: ‘it is not so, nor ’twas not so, but, indeed, God forbid it should be so.’
    • Benedick, l. 183


  • Don Pedro: By my troth, I speak my thought.
    Claudio: And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.
    Benedick: And, by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine.
    Claudio: That I love her, I feel.
    Don Pedro: That she is worthy, I know.
    Benedick: That I neither feel how she should be loved, nor know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me: I will die in it at the stake.
    • l. 190


  • That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none; and the fine is, for the which I may go the finer, I will live a bachelor.
    • Benedick, l. 204


  • Don Pedro: ‘In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.’
    Benedick: The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull’s horns, and set them in my forehead: and let me be vilely painted; and in such great letters as they write ‘Here is good horse to hire,’ let them signify under my sign ‘Here you may see Benedick the married man.’
    • l. 225


  • Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and the guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere you flout old ends any further, examine your conscience: and so I leave you.
    • Benedick, l. 245


Act II

[edit]

Scene i

[edit]
Let every eye negotiate for itself
And trust no agent.
  • He is of a very melancholy disposition.
    • Hero, l. 5


  • I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face: I had rather lie in the woollen.
    • Beatrice, l. 25


  • He that hath a beard is more than a youth; and he that hath no beard is less than a man.
    • Beatrice, l. 30


  • As merry as the day is long.
    • Beatrice, l. 40


  • I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by daylight.
    • Beatrice, l. 70


  • Speak low, if you speak love.
    • Don Pedro, l. 85


  • Friendship is constant in all other things,
    Save in the office and affairs of love:
    Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues;
    Let every eye negotiate for itself,
    And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch,
    Against whose charms faith melteth into blood.
    • Claudio, l. 154


  • It keeps on the windy side of care.
    • Beatrice, l. 283
      Cf. Twelfth Night, act 3, sc. 4, l. 156: Still you keep o’ th’ windy side of the law.


  • I was born to speak all mirth and no matter.
    • Beatrice, l. 296


  • Silence is the perfectest herald of joy: I were but little happy, if I could say how much.
    • Claudio, l. 275


  • Don Pedro: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour.
    Beatrice: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born.
    • l. 302


  • If we can do this, Cupid is no longer an archer: his glory shall be ours, for we are the only love-gods.
    • Don Pedro, l. 345


  • I will tell you my drift.
    • Don Pedro, l. 350
      Cf. Coriolanus, act 3, sc. 3, l. 117: We know your drift.


Scene iii

[edit]
  • He was wont to speak plain, and to the purpose.
    • Benedick, l. 15


  • It is the witness still of excellency
    To put a strange face on his own perfection.
    • Don Pedro, l. 42


  • Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
       Men were deceivers ever,
    One foot in sea and one on shore,
       To one thing constant never:
    Then sigh not so, but let them go,
       And be you blithe and bonny,
    Converting all your sounds of woe
       Into Hey nonny, nonny.
    Sing no more ditties, sing no moe,
       Of dumps so dull and heavy;
    The fraud of men was ever so,
       Since summer first was leavy:
           Then sigh not so, &c.
    • Balthazar, l. 57


  • Sits the wind in that corner?
    • Benedick, l. 91


  • Bait the hook well; this fish will bite.
    • Claudio, l. 100


  • Happy are they that hear their detractions, and can put them to mending.
    • Benedick, l. 209


  • A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age.
    • Benedick, l. 217


  • Shall quips, and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.
    • Benedick, l. 218


Act III

[edit]

Scene i

[edit]
  • The pleasant’st angling is to see the fish
    Cut with her golden oars the silver stream,
    And greedily devour the treacherous bait.
    • Ursula, l. 26


  • Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.
    • Hero, l. 106


Scene ii

[edit]


  • Every one can master a grief but he that has it.
    • Benedick, l. 25


Scene iii

[edit]
Are you good men and true?
  • Are you good men and true?
    • Dogberry, l. 1


  • To be a well-favoured man is the gift of fortune; but to write and read comes by nature.
    • Dogberry, l. 14


  • The most senseless and fit man.
    • Dogberry, l. 19


  • You shall comprehend all vagrom men.
    • Dogberry, l. 21


  • 2 Watch: How if a’ will not stand?
    Dogberry: Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call the rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.
    • l. 24


  • Is most tolerable, and not to be endured.
    • Dogberry, l. 32


  • Dogberry: Well, you are to call at all the ale-houses, and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.
    Watch: How if they will not?
    Dogberry: Why, then, let them alone till they are sober: if they make you not then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took them for.
    • Dogberry, l. 39


  • They that touch pitch will be defiled.
    • Dogberry, l. 51
      Cf. Ecclesiasticus, ch. 13, v. 1: He that toucheth pitch shall be defiled therewith.
      Henry IV, Part 1, act 2, sc. 4, l. 396: This pitch, as ancient writers do report, doth defile.


  • The most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is to let him show himself what he is, and steal out of your company.
    • Dogberry, l. 54


  • Verges: If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse and bid her still it.
    Watch: How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us?
    Dogberry: Why, then, depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying; for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes will never answer a calf when he bleats.
    • l. 60


  • I know that Deformed.
    • 1 Watch, l. 115


  • Borachio: Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is? how giddily a’ turns about all the hot bloods between fourteen and five-and-thirty? sometimes fashioning them like Pharaoh’s soldiers in the reeky painting, sometime like god Bel’s priests in the old church-window, sometime like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiece seems as massy as his club?
    Conrade: All this I see; and I see that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man.
    • Borachio, l. 120


Scene v

[edit]
  • I thank God I am as honest as any man living that is an old man and no honester than I.
    • Verges, l. 12


  • Comparisons are odorous.


  • If I were as tedious as a king, I could find it in my heart to bestow it all of your worship.
    • Dogberry, l. 20


  • A good old man, sir; he will be talking: as they say, When the age is in, the wit is out.
    • Dogberry, l. 33


Act IV

[edit]

Scene i

[edit]
I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?
  • O, what men dare do! what men may do! what men daily do, not knowing what they do!
    • Claudio, l. 19


  • O, what authority and show of truth
    Can cunning sin cover itself withal!
    • Claudio, l. 34


  • I never tempted her with word too large;
    But, as a brother to his sister, show’d
    Bashful sincerity and comely love.
    • Claudio, l. 51


  • I have mark’d
    A thousand blushing apparitions
    To start into her face; a thousand innocent shames
    In angel whiteness beat away those blushes.
    • Friar, l. 159


  • For it so falls out
    That what we have we prize not to the worth
    Whiles we enjoy it; but being lack’d and lost,
    Why, then we rack the value, then we find
    The virtue that possession would not show us
    Whiles it was ours.
    • Friar, l. 217


  • The idea of her life shall sweetly creep
    Into his study of imagination;
    And every lovely organ of her life
    Shall come apparell’d in more precious habit,
    More moving-delicate and full of life,
    Into the eye and prospect of his soul.
    • Friar, l. 224


  • I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?
    • Benedick, l. 266


Scene ii

[edit]
  • Is our whole dissembly appeared?
    • Dogberry, l. 1


  • Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves; and it will go near to be thought so shortly.
    • Dogberry, l. 20


  • Yea, marry, that's the eftest way.
    • Dogberry, l. 32


  • Flat burglary, as ever was committed.
    • Dogberry, l. 46


  • O villain! thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this.
    • Dogberry, l. 52


  • O that he were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.
    • Dogberry, l. 69


  • A fellow that hath had losses; and one that hath two gowns, and every thing handsome about him.
    • Dogberry, l. 78


Act V

[edit]

Scene i

[edit]
Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves.
  • Patch grief with proverbs.
    • Leonato, l. 17


  • Men
    Can counsel, and speak comfort to that grief
    Which they themselves not feel.
    • Leonato, l. 20


  • Charm ache with air, and agony with words.
    • Leonato, l. 26


  • ’Tis all men’s office to speak patience
    To those that wring under the load of sorrow,
    But no man’s virtue nor sufficiency,
    To be so moral when he shall endure
    The like himself.
    • Leonato, l. 27


  • Therein do men from children nothing differ.
    • Antonio, l. 33


  • For there was never yet philosopher
    That could endure the toothache patiently,
    However they have writ the style of gods,
    And made a push at chance and sufferance.
    • Leonato, l. 35


  • Some of us will smart for it.
    • Antonio, l. 109


  • In a false quarrel there is no true valour.
    • Benedick, l. 120



  • Don Pedro: Officers, what offence have these men done?
    Dogberry: Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves.
    Don Pedro: First, I ask thee what they have done; thirdly, I ask thee what’s their offence; sixth and lastly, why they are committed; and, to conclude, what you lay to their charge.
    • l. 202


Scene ii

[edit]
  • I was not born under a rhyming planet.
    • Benedick, l. 36


  • Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome; therefore I will depart unkissed.
    • Beatrice, l. 45


Scene iii

[edit]
  • Done to death by slanderous tongues.
    • Claudio, l. 3


Scene iv

[edit]
  • Get thee a wife, get thee a wife: there is no staff more reverend than one tipped with horn.
    • Benedick, l. 117


[edit]