Murdoch Mysteries

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Murdoch Mysteries (January 20, 2008–present) is a Canadian television drama series aired on both City and CBC Television, titled The Artful Detective on the Ovation cable TV network, featuring Yannick Bisson as William Murdoch, a police detective working in Toronto, Ontario, around the turn of the twentieth century. The television series is based on characters from the novel series by Maureen Jennings

Season 1[edit]

Power [1.1][edit]

Dr. Julia Ogden: I'm sorry it took so long but I rarely get the chance to examine an electrocution victim.
Detective William Murdoch: I suspect it will become less rare in the next while.

Det. Murdoch: How did you know about the stocks, sir?
Inspector Thomas Brackenreid: Intuition.
Det. Murdoch: Really?
Insp. Brackenreid: Well, I can't bloody well retire on a copper's salary, can I?

Nikola Tesla: Alternating current doesn't need to bribe its way into the future. The forces of logic and history compel it to.

Edna Garrison: Honest to goodness, how can a police officer be so clumsy?
Constable George Crabtree: Well, breaking and entering with grace is not part of my job.

Nikola Tesla: We are men of the future, Detective Murdoch, and what a future it shall be.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid: Oi, Bugalugs! Shift!

Glass Ceiling [1.2][edit]

Insp. Brackenreid: What kind of man delivers a corpse to a police station?

[Reading through a Patent Application]
Det. Murdoch: Corn shards: A breakfast product made up of reconstituted corn pulp meant to be eaten with cold milk.
Cst. Crabtree: That sounds revolting.

Insp. Brackenreid: Coppers don't believe in coincidences.

The Knockdown [1.3][edit]

Cst. Crabtree: Sir, you haven't told me why you think Mrs. Robinson is innocent.
Det. Murdoch: Newton's Third Law of Motion, George.

Jeb Cutler: I even had a nickname: Amos the Animal. My wife thought Untamed Beast was more provocative but I confess a weakness for alliteration.
Det. Murdoch: Yes, that's quite a feat to reduce a man to a slogan.

[When a ferret runs up Murdoch's pants leg]
Cst. Crabtree: Careful, sir! They're known to bite!
Det. Murdoch: What?!!
Cst. Crabtree: Cut off access to your sensitive bits!

Det. Murdoch: There is nothing that exonerates her.
Insp. Brackenreid: Based on what? Logic? The compendium of evidence?! Well, booger that, Murdoch! You think she's innocent based on nothing but your own intuition!
Det. Murdoch: But of what use is that? Intuition isn't a reliable basis upon which to form an opinion.
Insp. Brackenreid: What kind of socks am I wearing?
Det. Murdoch: Pardon?
Insp. Brackenreid: Brown, black or argyle?
Det. Murdoch: I don't know.
Insp. Brackenreid: Well, guess!
Det. Murdoch: Argyle. Sir, what kind of socks are you wearing?
Insp. Brackenreid: [Pulls up his pant leg to reveal argyle socks] You should learn to trust your intuition, me ol' mucker!

Insp. Brackenreid: Murdoch, I know that you take great personal pride in having just two speeds: slow and dead slow.

[Murdoch and Crabtree are in the station house yard, preparing to undertake an experiment to determine blood spatter by having George shoot a pig’s carcass at close range.]
Constable Crabtree (being buttoned into a dress): That’s a bit snug in the bosom, Sir.


Detective Murdoch: Away you go.
Constable Crabtree: Will there be much spatter, Sir?
Detective Murdoch: That’s what we’re here to find out. Hurry up! Shoot! The blood is draining from the pig’s flanks.
Constable Crabtree (hesitating): It’s staring at me, Sir.
Detective Murdoch: George, the animal is dead. There’s no spirit left in the body.
Constable Crabtree (obviously stalling): Do pigs have a soul then, Sir?
Detective Murdoch: NOW, GEORGE!!

Elementary, My Dear Murdoch [1.4][edit]

Dr. Ogden: And what sort of writer kills off his finest creation?
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: One which does not want to be shackled to his own creation.

Sir Doyle: Your world may consist of cold logic, detective, but I'm afraid I need something more.
Det. Murdoch: I do have something more. My faith.
Sir Doyle: Oh? So you do believe in an afterlife yet you cut yourself off from the possibilities of communicating with it?
Det. Murdoch: Common sense tells me that if we were indeed able to communicate with the afterlife, we wouldn't require the services of an intermediary.
Sir Doyle: Yet you make your confessions to a priest. That sort of an intermediary? Where is your common sense in that?
Det. Murdoch: Confession is about earthly sin, not heavenly imaginings.
Sir Doyle: Well, last night, when Ms. Pensell that this Liza person may have a message for you, were you not the least bit hopeful?

Sir Doyle: What you are looking at is the future of policing and, dare I say, the future entertainment! Books, theatres, so on and so forth!
Det. Murdoch: What, forensics? Too dull and gory, I should think.
Sir Doyle: Quite the opposite. I suspect the public has an endless appetite for this sort of tale.

Hubert Winston: Grief is a private matter, detective. We all have our own methods of coping.

'Til Death Do Us Part [1.5][edit]

Det. Murdoch: You notice anything out of the ordinary?
Father Franks: Nothing that would pertain to-
Det. Murdoch: Reverend, a man has been killed. Everything is pertinent.

Det. Murdoch: He was a sodomite?
Dr. Ogden: William, I believe the term we use now is homosexual.

[Recounting his police experience with homosexuals]
Insp. Brackenreid: Listen, I've met a few shirt-lifters over the years and they're a dodgy bunch. They combine the cunning vindictiveness of a woman scorned with the male tendency to get the job done.

Dr. Ogden: Really, Murdoch! I'm surprised at your close-mindedness.
Det. Murdoch: Leaving the Bible aside...
Dr. Ogden: Yes, could we?
Det. goes against nature.
Dr. Ogden: Oh, rubbish! Nature is full of omnisexual behavior! Have you never seen male dogs at play?
Det. Murdoch: But those are dogs.
Dr. Ogden: We're all animals, William! Behaving as nature intended. If God didn't want us to express our desires, why would He give us desires in the first place?
Det. Murdoch: To test our resolve.
Dr. Ogden: At whose expense?

Det. Murdoch: Father, I find myself questioning the basic tenets of my faith.
Priest: We all face challenges. Even Jesus did.
Det. Murdoch: Two men are dead. By all standards, good men. But they are condemned to eternal damnation. How can this be God's will?
Priest: It's not for us to question the will of the Lord.
Det. Murdoch: But that's just it, Father. I don't think I can follow blindly anymore.
Priest: Your faith must not waver.
Det. Murdoch: I imagine a world that is more compassionate and enlightened and...
Priest: Someday it may be. Perhaps not in our lifetimes. In the meanwhile, trust in the guidance of the Lord.

Let Loose The Dogs [1.6][edit]

[Discussing a case involving Detective Murdoch's estranged father as a suspect]
Det. Murdoch: Sir, I simply doubt I can be objective.
Insp. Brackenreid: Then be professional.

Insp. Brackenreid: A man and his father might not always see eye to eye on certain matters. But with something as serious as this, you don't want to be left wondering if you should have done something differently.

Body Double [1.7][edit]

Insp. Brackenreid: Murdoch, I'm off to the theatre. Not even you can ruin it.
Det. Murdoch: Oh, the theatre, sir? Then you'll love the kinethescope! It shows a moving picture of-
Insp. Brackenreid: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I've heard all about this nonsense. We have Shakespeare playing in The Grand and you'd rather watch a man with a head cold sneeze every ten seconds.

Det. Murdoch: The language is archaic but that's only part of understanding Shakespeare, George.
Cst. Crabtree: The hard part, I hope.
Det. Murdoch: It's more about opening your mind to the message in the words.

[When asked to leave a patient unattended for questioning]
Dentist Murphy: You'll have to make it quick, plaintiff. Leave 'em alone too long and they run.
Det. Murdoch: I understand the impulse.

Det. Murdoch: One person, I could understand. But four people with identical memories? It's almost as if they were...
Insp. Brackenreid: ...rehearsed.

Still Waters [1.8][edit]

Cst. Higgins: So if we use your new mo-graph thingy...
Det. Murdoch: ...then we can scientifically measure whether a man is lying.
Insp. Brackenreid: I've got one of those at home. It's called a wife.

[After Minerva Fairchild identifies her fianceé's body]
Det. Murdoch: She seems to be bearing up quite well.
Dr. Ogden: When you're a Fairchild, you can never let your emotions show.

Det. Murdoch: Did any of his teammates have any quarrel with him?
Coach Kane: As I said earlier, detective. These boys are like family.
Det. Murdoch: In my experience, conflict can arise even in the closest of families.

Belly Speaker [1.9][edit]

Child's Play [1.10][edit]

Bad Medicine [1.11][edit]

The Prince and the Rebel [1.12][edit]

The Annoying Red Planet [1.13][edit]


External links[edit]

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