Mystery Team

Mystery Team is a 2009 comedy film about a group of former Encyclopedia Brown-style child-detectives who struggle to solve an adult mystery.

Directed by Dan Eckman. Written by Donald Glover, DC Pierson, Dominic Dierkes, and Dan Eckman.

One big case. Zero clue.

Charlie

The door's locked! McGinty, you clever dog!
If any teachers ask where Eric went, tell them that three grown-ups took him off the playground to teach him a lesson about sticking his finger in things.
Sorry I'm late, everybody. My science teacher says my thesis needs to prove something... but I think listing all the dinosaurs proves there was a lot of dinosaurs.
Looks like we've got a long night of cocaine ahead of us.
We're keeping evidence from the police, okay? We could go to jail! You know what happens in jail? No T.V.!
Goodnight sweet hobo. May your bindle be heavy with treasures, but your heart be light with song.

There's something fishy going on down at the sardine factory! I think it's fish!

When I was fifteen years old, when I got this job, I said to myself, "I am going to work here until the day that I kill myself."
Hey! Are you squeezing that bread? We had a deal! We had a deal you fucking animal! What the f...ah dude, did you fuck this bread? You fucked the shit out of this bread. You don't fuck bread. Every fucking thing!
You remind me a little of me. You know what I'm going to call you from now on, "Little Me". I just came up with that right now.
Paying you in advance, buddy!

Jason: She's really something, it's just... I'm no good with girls.

Frank: Oh, you're whipped! [imitates whipping]

Jim: [interrupting] Frank! Sometimes I wish you didn't beat that cancer. I really do.

Kelly: [holding the ring] Where did you find this?

Jason: It's a long story.

Charlie: No, it's not. A stripper peed it into a toilet.

Jason: Ah! Cinnamon sticks!

Charlie: Ah! Chinese checkers!

Duncan: Fuck! Yeah, that's right. I've been saying "fuck". Going in the backyard and trying it out.

Duncan: Honestly, this is breaking and entering, okay? It's illegal.

Jason: But, it's for justice, so it's legal again.

Duncan: Our most consistent customer has Alzheimer's!

Jason: Mrs. Kimmel does not have Alzheimer's!

Duncan: She bakes fifty pies a day for her dead husband. Most of the pies are filled with soap.

Jason: We are mature and legitimate detectives.

Kelly: What the hell is that smell?

Duncan: I drank dog urine.

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Mystery Team