[Ben and Abigail run into each other at Buckingham Palace]
Riley: [over headset] Abigail? What's she doing here?
Ben: What're you doing here?
Abigail: Your dad called me. Said your next clue was here.
Riley: [over headset] She's really there?
Abigail: Look Ben.
Riley: [over headset] Drop Her, lose her.
Abigail: I want to help.
Ben: That's very nice. But it's kind of a bad time right now.
Abigail: A bad time right now.
Ben: It's a bad time.
Abigail: Okay, I...I just flew all the way to London to offer my help...
Riley: [over headset] Ben, remember the plan.
Abigail: And what you've decided is that you don't need it.
Ben: You're the one who's making a scene right now.
Abigail: I...I'm not making a scene right now!
Riley: [over headset] No, we want to make a scene.
Ben: Well then, fine! If that's what you want, let's have it out right now!
Riley: [over headset] Ah, so subtle.
Abigail: [quietly murmurs] Ben...
Ben: Well let me guess! It's the wrong time! It's the wrong place! I'm wrong again! Wrong about us! Wrong about Thomas Gates! Wrong that you'd like the Queen Anne chair!
Abigail: You're wrong to assume I'd like the chair!
Ben: You see? You see everybody? Listen to this. This is more interesting than that. She thinks that even when I'm right, I'm wrong! Isn't that right! Abigail, just because I answer a question quickly, doesn't make it wrong!
Abigail: Not if the right answer is something we need to figure out together, as a couple! That's what couples do, Ben!
1st Security Guard: Sir, you and your missis, take it outside.
Ben: Oh, now look what you've done. You've brought the little bobbies down on us! "You take the missis outside." I'm staying right here.
Ben: [slides down banister] Wheeeee!
2nd Security Guard: [stops Ben abruptly] Good afternoon, sir.
Ben: [mocking English accent] 'Ello!
2nd Security Guard: [smells Ben's breath] Been drinking, have we?
Ben: Just a nip! Just popped down to the pub for a pint, bit of all right! Going to arrest a man for that? Going to detain a blighter for enjoying his whis-key?!
2nd Security Guard: That's enough, sir.
Ben: Bangers and mash.
2nd Security Guard: Sir...
Ben: Bubble and squeak.
2nd Security Guard: What?
Ben:Smoked eel pie.
2nd Security Guard: Sir, you--
2nd Security Guard: That's it! Dismount the banister!
Ben: [is taken away by security] I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. Here they are all standing in a row. Small ones, big ones, some as big as your head!
Riley: That was... brilliant.
Ben: [asking Riley] How fast can we get to London from here?
Riley: I don't know. [refers to the French policeman standing there] Why don't you ask your new best friend?
French Policeman: [indicating his partner] He's calling you a cab.
Ben: Merci beaucoup.
Ben: These twins stand resolute. Let's see... resolute twins. Resolute, and then twins. Siamese twins, Siam, trade routes between France and Thailand... that's ridiculous. HMS Resolute, a British ship that got lost in the Arctic in the 1800s, it was salvaged by American whalers then Congress sent it back to England where the ship finally retired. Queen Victoria had two desks made from its timbers. Voila... resolute twins.
French Policeman: Nice helicopter. Is that it yours?
Riley: Sure is.
French Policeman: Okay, so you can get the ticket.
Riley: [laughs sarcastically] Great.
Ben: [he, Riley and Abigail approach a Mercedes-Benz C280, as they elude Wilkinson] He's the one who's after the treasure!
Riley: Okay, I'll drive. [as they get in the car, Riley ends up in the passenger seat, unaware that the car's seats are left-lane positioned]
Ben: [as he is in the driver's seat] We're in England.
Ben: Hack in to the London Police database and get a copy of the picture from that traffic cam.
Ben: Can't do it?
Riley: I can do it, I just don't like you to ASSUME that I can do it.
Abigail: [laughs sarcastically and rolls eyes] Why thank you, Riley.
Riley: How do you expect to get the President alone?
Ben: I'm gonna kidnap him... I'm going to kidnap the President of the United States.
Abigail: [laughs] The Secret Service will never leave you alone.
Patrick: I'm your father! How do you expect me to react to this?! I can't let you ruin your life!
Riley: It's unthinkable. All you had to do was read my book-- you should have read my book!
Patrick: Exactly how do you plan on doing this?
Ben: I was thinking Mt. Vernon.
Patrick: (with realization) Ooohhh!
Riley: I'm in.
Riley: Hey, what's on page 47? Are you talking about the book?
President: [smiles] What book?
Jacqueline: Hey, you're that guy. The treasure hunter guy, right?
Riley: No, actually, the guy you're thinking of is somewhere over there.
Jacqueline: No, you're him. Riley Poole. I recognize you from your book. Will you sign it?
Riley: [drops the bag he's carrying] Absolutely.
Ben: Calm down. I sent a picture of the plank to your cell phone.
Patrick: You can do that?
Riley: Start the car!
Abigail: [starts car]
Riley: Put it in gear!
Abigail: [puts it in gear, then notices the policeman staring at them] Uh-oh.
Policeman: What are you doing there?
Riley: We're going to jail...
Riley: How are we gonna find Ben?
Abigail: I don't know!
Policeman: HALT! Who are you?
Abigail: We weren't here! We were told to evacuate!
Riley: Er, um, I don't know what's going on in there. One second I'm reading, a nice book, then the next minute we're being rushed outta... here.
[Ben looking through the President's Book]
Riley: [points] Ohh, Area 51! Right there!
Riley: [points again] Ah! The Kennedy Assassination!
Ben: Shhh! We don't have time!
Riley: Yeah, that's true.
Patrick: So the only question is... which Statue of Liberty?
Riley: Exactly! Is there more than one?
Abigail: What is it?
Ben: Appears to be a counterweight to hold the door open.
Riley: What's that sound?
Riley: [touches counterweight] Ah, oh, ah!
[counterweight falls apart, closing and locking the door]
Ben: Because you're the President of the United States sir. Whether by innate character, or the oath you took to defend the Constitution, or the weight of history that falls upon you, I believe you to be the honorable man, sir.
President: Gates. People don't believe in that stuff anymore.
Ben: They want to.
Abigail: Riley, come out here.
Riley: What? [laughs] Heeeey! What are you doing here? I mean it's your house but, hey! I sent you a copy of my book, did you get a chance to rea--
Abigail: No, I haven't read it yet.
Riley: [looks at Abigail's date] I know you! You're the White House curator! I'm Riley, we met at the uh white house thing...
Connor: Oh yeah, you're Ben's assistant.
Riley: What? Did he- [looks at Ben, then shuts up]
Ben:[Trying to preserve the writing on the plank for later study] Does this phone have a camera?
Abigail:No, no it's broken
Ben:[tosses phone into backseat] Okay. Hang on, everybody, we're about to run a red light.
Abigail: See that?
Ben: Now that's quite something, right there.
Riley: Yeah, it says... "smudge.."
Riley: It's nothing, come on guys..
Ben: I'm not sure what this is.
Patrick: So what do we do now?
Riley: Did none of you read my book? The eagle clutching a scroll? Why did nobody read my book-
Ben: You know what it means?
Riley: Yes... But it's not something that I can tell you. It's something I have to show you... in my book. [smirks]
[Ben opens the package containing Riley's book]
Riley: You didn't even open it?
Ben: I was moving.
Riley: Chapter 13.
Ben: "The President's Secret Book"?
Riley: It happens to be a collection of documents for Presidents, by Presidents, and for presidents' eyes only. I'm not just talking about the JFK assasination here, guys. The 18 and a half missing minutes of the Watergate tapes. Did the Apollo really land on the moon? And the coup de gras..... Area 51.
Abigail: C'mon Riley, that's a myth.
Riley: Is it, Abigail? IS IT?
Abigail: This is totally--
Abigail: [sigh] Yeah.
Riley: Well the last time I checked, we pretty much make our livings from crazy.
Ben: He's got a point.
Mitch: We both know what has to happen.
Ben: One of us keeps the door open... and stays behind.
Riley: I vote Mitch!
Riley disables the alarm
Ben: You did that in 25 seconds.
Riley: That's why I tell people to get a dog...
Ben: It's the key code. The debt that all men pay is DEATH.
Riley: Ah, Laboulaye! [smiles, then stops] What is that?
Girl in Bookstore: Are you Ben Gates?
Riley: [acting cool] Yes. Yes I am.
Girl in bookstore: Do you own a red Ferrari?
Riley: [continuing to act cool] Well, yes I do.
Girl in bookstore: Well, it's being towed.
Riley: [laughs, then jumps up and runs outside]Wait.....Wait That's my car!
Ben Gates: Where's the Ferrari?
Riley: IRS impounded it.
Ben Gates: The IRS?
Riley: Funny story. My accountant set up a "corporation" [winks] on an island that "didn't exist" and assured me "that's how rich people do it". Then I got audited and slapped with a Huge fine... Plus interest! ...Wanna know what taxes are on five million dollars? ..Six million dollars.
Riley: So, what's new with you?
Ben Gates: Well, my girlfriend kicked me out, I'm living with my dad, and my family killed president Lincoln.