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The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists (2005)
- A man has two primary drives in early adulthood: one toward power, success, and accomplishment; the other toward love, companionship, and sex. Half of life then was out of order. To go before them was to stand up as a man and admit that I was only half a man.
- In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. This isn't because the universe is cruel. It's because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps.
- In order to excel at anything, there are always hurdles, obstacles, or challenges one must get past. It's what bodybuilders call the pain period. Those who push themselves, and are willing to face pain, exhaustion, humiliation, rejection, or worse, are the ones who become champions. The rest are left on the sidelines.
- To get a woman, you have to be willing to risk losing her.
- Men are not dogs. We merely think we are and, on occasion, act as if we are. But, by believing in our nobler nature, women have the amazing power to inspire us to live up to it.
- We have this idea that love is supposed to last forever. But love isn't like that. It's a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes it stays for life; other times it stays for a second, a day, a month, or a year. So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don't be surprised when it leaves, either. Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it.
- The great thing about the heart is that it has no master, despite what reason may think.
Rules of the Game: The Style Diaries (2007)
- Every adventure to be had in this room is on the dark side. The people on the light side are asleep right now. And they are dreaming about the dark side. Because the more you try to repress the dark side, the stronger it gets, until it finds its own way to the surface. I sleep well. I dream of angels and sponge cake and panda bears. I don’t see the dark side until I open my eyes.
- If you possess the ability to learn from your mistakes, then failure is literally impossible, because each rejection brings you closer to perfection.
- The ignorant are not blissful; they are the butt of a joke they're not even aware of.
- Most guys who define themselves as "too nice" only behave nicely because they want everybody to like them and don’t want anyone to think badly of them. Don’t mistake being fearful and weak-minded for being nice.
- Love is a velvet prison.
- What most of us present to the world isn’t necessarily our true self: It’s a combination of years of bad habits and fear-based behavior. Our real self lies buried underneath all the insecurities and inhibitions. So rather than just being yourself, focus on discovering and permanently bringing to the surface your best self.
- The natural instincts of men seem to be to alternate between periods of love relationships and periods of hedonistic bachelorhood, with some traumatized kids thrown in as an evolutionary imperative.
- A lot of people make the mistake of trying to defend principles in relationships. My goal is long-term happiness. And I make choices that aren’t going to undermine that goal.
Emergency: This Book Will Save Your Life (2009)
- Nature knows no tragedies or catastrophes. It knows no good or evil. It knows only creation and destruction. and one can never truly be happy and free, in the way we were as children before learning of our mortality, without at some point confronting our destruction. And all we can ask for, all we can hope for, all we can beseech God for, is to win a few battles in a war we will ultimately lose.
- We make fun of those we're most scared of becoming.
The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships (2015)
- Only when our love for someone exceeds our need for them do we have a shot at a genuine relationship together.
- Trust is a chain that gets longer the less you pull on it.
- There’s no better place to hide from intimacy than in a relationship.
- The success of a relationship should be measured by its depth, not by its length.
- Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.
- Lying is about controlling someone else’s reality, hoping that what they don’t know won’t hurt you.
- They say love is blind, but it’s trauma that’s blind. Love sees what is.
- Love is not an accident. It is a delicate union of two complex, complementary puzzle pieces that have inadvertently been created by different manufacturers.
- A life is just one letter away from a lie.