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New Tricks is a British crime-drama that follows the Unsolved Crime and Open Case Squad (UCOS), made up of retired police officers who have been recruited to reinvestigate unsolved crimes. The title alludes to the proverb "You can't teach an old dog new tricks".

Series 1

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The Chinese Job [1.1]

[edit]
[First words on series - Murder Squad burst into room]:
Sandra Pullman: POLICE! Stay where you are!
Murder Squad Officer: Hands in the air! Now!
[Chinese man translates to everyone]
Murder Squad Officer: Drop everything on the floor! Now! Do it!
[Chinese man translates, forcing a man to release a vicious dog]
Sandra Pullman: Oh no.
[Sandra pulls out her gun and shoots the dog]
Chinese Man: You shot my dog... You shot my dog!
[Whilst this is going on, a person tied up in the bedroom escapes through the window and lands on a car - the murder squad investigate]
Sandra Pullman: [rolls eyes] Ah. [she takes her helmet and mask off] Terrific!
[Sandra getting transferred to form a new team – UCOS]
Donald Bevan: Anna Dubrovski's murder is to be reinvestigated. Reconfirming that the case against Wringer still stands will ease the pressure the Met, publicly and politically.
Sandra Pullman: And he intends to sue, is that right?
Donald Bevon: Not when you're finished with him he won't.
Sandra Pullman: Me?
Donald Bevan: Everyone is aware what a distinctive and enviable career oath you've carved out for yourself. But you screwed up. The idea is that we use your investigation as the basis for a new initiative. A team of dedicated personnel, re-examining other open cases. Hmm? That's your brief.
Sandra Pullman: Dedicated personnel?
Donald Bevon: We may not have the manpower in terms of serving officers. We can still call upon a large number of retired detectives experience in serious crime.
Sandra Pullman: Oh no. No, no, no, no.
Donald Bevan: Fully cognisant with practice and procedure at the time the offences were committed.
Sandra Pullman: [desperate] Don, please don't do this to me.
Donald Bevan: Think of the advanced in forensics, offender profiling... We really have a wonderful opportunity to put a lot of these cases to bed.
Sandra Pullman: Retired detectives. Do they have to have their own teeth?
[First on-screen appearance of Jack Halford]
Sandra Pullman: UCOS. Unsolved Crime and Open Case Initiative.
Jack Halford: [looking through the files] What did somebody call it? Don Bevan's love child. The Unsolved Crime and Waste of Time Initiative?
Sandra Pullman: No, that would be UCAWOT. I know it's tricky the thought of working for someone you used to boss but if there's one thing I learned from you it was to respect people's abilities, not their rank. Plus they're all retired detectives and I don't know any of these people.
Jack Halford: Ian Derby.
Sandra Pullman: You know him?
Jack Halford: Yeah. Dead.
Sandra Pullman: Alan Evans.
Jack Halford: Dead.
Sandra Pullman: Er... DI John Farrelly. Oh, I know John. He works-
Jack Halford: -Dead.
Sandra Pullman: But he only left last December.
Jack Halford: Heart attack in the sea off Malaga. Serves him right. The place is full of villians. 65% of CID officers are dead within five years of leaving the job. [continues to rummage through the profiles] Dead. Dead. Good as. Alive but he bores for England. Retired but currently under investigation by the CPS. Ditto, the DTI. Dead. Alive but don't leave him alone with your kids. Retired sick. Well, insane, really. Dead, dead... Would be if I got hold of him. Nope. I think you'd better advertise.
[Interviewing the candidates, first on-screen appearance of Brian Lane and Gerry Standing]
Jack Halford: Ex-DI Brian Lane, Detective Superintendent Sandra Pullman.
Brian Lane: Pullman? Sussex University. Accelerated entry, 1987. Bramshill, '92. DI, Murder Squad, '92 - '95. DCI, Armed Robbery Squad, '95 - '98.
Jack Halford: So how's it been going Brian - retirement?
Brian Lane: Oh, fantastic. Love it. Best thing I ever did. Get do what I want, when I want. Grandchildren, gardening, football, swimming, day trips... gardening, car, pets, dogs, the wife. Did I mention gardening?
Sandra Pullman: Your days sound pretty full. I wouldn't have thought you'd want to come back.
Brian Lane: I don't. Not as a cop. But as an investigative officer, technically a civilian, full access to files... when do we start?
[next candidate sits down - Gerry Standing]
Gerry Standing: Ah! An ahstray!
Jack Halford: Uh, we'd rather you didn't.
Gerry Standing: But there's–
Sandra Pullman: The squad will initially be quite small. Concentrating on murder cases, and then, depending on the success of the operation, expanding to encompass other–
Gerry Standing: It's her innit? Woof, woof, bang, bang.
[Sandra discussing candidates with Jack]
Sandra Pullman: No, you may have worked with him [Brian Lane] but it's out of the question.
Jack Halford: He's a first-class detective.
Sandra Pullman: It's not possible, I know what happened to him.
Jack Halford: No, no, you don't, trust me.
Sandra Pullman: [looking at the other file] "Gerry Standing"?!
Jack Halford: He's a thief-taker.
Sandra Pullman: No! I only met him because I'd heard so much about him. I didn't think you were serious.
Jack Halford: Do you want to do the job properly or do you just want to look nice?

Talking To The Dead [1.7]

[edit]
Donald Bevan: Am I the only one here who knows how a police officer is meant to behave? Good God, this is not the 1970s - it's not even the 1980s! You can't verbal a suspect like you used to and expect to get away with it!
Jack Halford: With all due respect, Don, it was working.
Donald Bevan: With no due respect, it wasn't. After you went round to his house the first time, Lombard was on high alert. He knew you were as much in the dark as the original team and moments before opening the door to you this evening, he phoned his solicitor on his mobile. He left the line open for the next hour and a half. His solicitor recorded the whole thing and he's itching to use it in an action against you for unlawful arrest, harassment, you name it!
[Bevan plays tape]
Lombard [on tape]: [screaming] LET ME OUT!
Jack Halford [on tape]: They can't hear you, Mr Lombard, you could scream your head off in here for, oh, 42 days...
[Bevan stops tape]
Donald Bevan: You thought the evaluation was a way of closing down the unit, but it wasn't. The evaluation was a routing assessment of your current status and you passed! Just! Now, if someone's looking for a reason to close down UCOS, you've handed them one on a plate! [to Sandra Pullman] And as for SO10, I think we can safely kiss that one goodbye.
Sandra Pullman: Sir?!
Brian Lane: SO10?
Donald Bevan: I expressly told you to drop this case.
Sandra Pullman: It went against all my instincts as a police officer.
Donald Bevan: Yeah, well, once again your instincts have made you look very foolish, Sandra, and what's worse is that it made me look like a complete idiot for backing you as far as I have.
Gerry Standing: [to Sandra] You were getting promoted to SO10?
Donald Bevan: Now I'm going to have to spend the rest of tonight working out a way to persuade Lombard's solicitor to forget this and I'm going to spend all day tomorrow deciding what to do with you lot. Now, get out!

Series 4

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God's Waiting Room [4.2]

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[Talking to Mary's Grave]
Jack Halford: It was just as we'd imagined. What did you call them, God's Waiting Room? [laughs] It was that all right. A mausoleum to the living dead. People with all life crushed out of them. No... this is better. This is where I belong.
Grace Pullman: You know what's odd about this place?
Sandra Pullman: No, but I'm sure you'll tell me.
Grace Pullman: There's no history of us. No photos. I've checked. I've been through every room, even your bedroom.
Sandra Pullman: You went into my bedroom?
Grace Pullman: Not even one of your father. Now that did surprise me. I thought you'd have one of him, for sure. I've never understood that. That ability to be alone. That pride in your independence, that shuts everyone out. Even your own family. I had hoped when he died that we'd grow closer together but we've just moved further apart. Until, in the end, you were him. Another police officer rejecting me all over again.
Sandra Pullman: I am trying, Mum.
Grace Pullman: I know. But we're too far apart to keep living this close. You can come and visit me when you want.
Sandra Pullman: Yeah, yeah, I will. I promise.
Grace Pullman: You're not folding that right.

Big Topped [4.8]

[edit]
[Sandra confronting her mother about the truth behind her father's death]
Sandra Pullman: My dad. Your husband. Gordon. How did he die?
Grace Pullman: You know how he died. It was a heart attack.
Sandra Pullman: Not according to this. [she shows her a death certificate] I found it amongst your things. "Carbon Monoxide inhalation." Or suicide, to be precise. So I presume that's what he shouldn't have done in the car.
Grace Pullman: You didn't find that in my things. It was in a sealed envelope. You were prying!
Sandra Pullman: [angry and upset] And you've been lying! You've lied to me since I was 14. All that time, all those years, all those people I've met who must have known the truth, it makes me look like a complete idiot!
Grace Pullman: Welcome to the club.
Sandra Pullman: Why didn't you tell me? Why have you never told me the truth?
Grace Pullman: He was your father.
Sandra Pullman: You've had 30 years!
Grace Pullman: You loved him. How could I tell you? What good would it have done? He was your father.
[Sandra confronting Jack about the investigation into her father that led him to suicide]
Sandra Pullman: So, Jack... you knew my dad? You investigated him and then he killed himself. So, all those years ago when you have me my break in the Murder Squad that's because you believed in equal opportunities was it? Cos you really rated me as a detective regardless of what everyone else thought.
Jack Halford: Yes-
Sandra Pullman: [angry] Bollocks!
Gerry Standing: Guv'nor, shall we just calm down?
Sandra Pullman: All those years, you never said one word. You lied to me.
Jack Halford: I never lied.
Sandra Pullman: [shouting] You lied by omission! Just because you didn't speak his name doesn't mean you weren't lying!
Gerry Standing: Sandra!
Sandra Pullman: No! You lied to me and then you drove-
Jack Halford: Your father killed a man. He killed a small-time pimp called Ian Randle in Canning Town. And he covered it up. I never told you and I never told your mother. There you are. Now you know. Your father was a good detective, very good. But he made a mistake, it might even have been accidental. But the cover-up wasn't. Anyhow, shortly before I was due to arrest him, I let him know that I knew. Because I thought he deserved that much. That was my mistake. And I'm sorry.
Sandra Pullman: I don't believe you. I don't believe he was capable of that, because I knew him and I knew what he was like. He didn't do that?
[She storms off, Jack follows shortly]:

Series 8

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Setting Out Your Stall [8.4]

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[Sandra's Mother deciding to leave]
Sandra Pullman: Mum? Sorry I'm late. [sees her Mother's bags packed] I thought we had another day?
Grace Pullman: No, my train leaves in an hour.
Sandra Pullman: But I was going to make dinner, look, I bought vegetables.
Grace Pullman: [laughs] No, perhaps I've had a lucky escape. [Sandra becomes annoyed] It was a joke, dear!
Sandra Pullman: You don't have to go.
Grace Pullman: Oh I think I do. It was a nice idea but...
Sandra Pullman: We're not ready.
Grace Pullman: You're not ready. [pause] And you're very busy, I mean, I can see that now.
Sandra Pullman: [brushes it off, clearly upset] Okay, fine, I'll take you to the station.
Grace Pullman: I've booked a cab.
Sandra Pullman: Of course you have.
[cuts to outside - Grace getting into the taxi]
Sandra Pullman: Bye Mum, safe journey.
Grace Pullman: Sandra, you know where I am if you need me. But... don't leave it too late, darling.
[both clearly just as upset as each other, Sandra feeling guilty for the amount of negligence on her side]

Series 9

[edit]

A Death In The Family [9.1]

[edit]
[Jack Halford's final appearance]
Brian Lane: When did you find out?
Jack Halford: A few weeks ago. It [the cancer] is in the liver. Nothing they can do.
Brian Lane: But we're your friends!
Jack Halford: I don't want any fuss.
Brian Lane: BUT WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS!
Jack Halford: Yes, you are. And I want you to remember me as I am. I want to go away to a place that's special to Mary [his wife] and me. Just me there, with her, and our memories.
Brian Lane: When are you going?
Jack Halford: ASAP. Will you do something for me, Brian? Don't tell anyone, not until after. And I don't want anyone to try and stop me or anyone coming after me or anyone trying to get in touch with me - it's just me and Mary, understand?
Brian Lane: [he nods] Yeah.
Jack Halford: Now get into that pub and put on a brave face.
Brian Lane: I'm so sorry, Jack.
[Brian makes his way to the pub]
Jack Halford: Brave face, Brian! And, mine's a large scotch!
[Jack stands in the rain knowing that his days are numbered, he then walks towards the pub for one last drink with the team he helped build]

The Girl Who Lived [9.4]

[edit]
[Steve McAndrew's first words on the series]:

Series 10

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The Sins of a Father [10.3]

[edit]
Scott Bunce: People tried to help. Family, friends. Even Psycho did his best. Mike was great. He...he really seemed to understand what me and Lauren was going through. He's one of the only coppers I ever met, who I actually got on with.
Sandra Pullman: [surprised] Mike? Mike Fleming?
Scott Bunce: Yeah. He was our family liaison officer.
[Meanwhile, in the observation room, Brian enters and hands a CCTV photo to Gerry. He realises he has made a huge mistake - Scott Bunce was indeed innocent after all]
Gerry Standing: To think I welcomed you to the team. I thought you'd be an asset to the investigation.
Mike Flemming: It was an accident.
Sandra Pullman: An accident that had seen an innocent man serve 16 years for a crime he didn't commit.

Cry Me A River [10.5]

[edit]
Sandra Pullman: Do you know a woman called "Laticia Hope"?
Angela Gold: Um, nope. Should I? Who is she?
Sandra Pullman: A former prostitute.
Angela Gold: [laughs] Not really my line. Why?
Sandra Pullman: Afraid I can't tell you that.
Angela Gold: [upset] You know, you've told me nothing up to now. All you do is ask me question after question and expect me to just sit here like a schoolgirl. I killed no-one!
Sandra Pullman: Angela, my job isn't just all cold cruel analysis of evidence. Police use intuition too, of course we do. So actually I'm going to break a habit of a lifetime because, no, I don't think you are guilty.

The One That Got Away [10.8]

[edit]
[Re-appearance of Jack Halford as a ghost]
Sandra Pullman: I can't leave.
Jack Halford (ghost): Well, you can't stay here for ever.
Sandra Pullman: I belong here, Jack.
Jack Halford (ghost): You're afraid to leave, that's your problem. You're comfortable, Sandra. Never get comfortable.
Sandra Pullman: What we do here is important, you said that.
Jack Halford (ghost): Of course it's important. And it'll be important long after you're gong. But you built the ship, you don't have to go on steering it for ever. What's the alternative? You going to stay here till you get your pension? Then what? Take up gardening? Maybe you're going to move to the other side of that window and become another one of those boring old bastards out there. You're going to take the job, Sandra, we both know that. Let's not kid ourselves.
Sandra Pullman: I miss you, Jack.
[Sandra announcing her resgnation from UCOS to her boss, DAC Robert Strickland]
Sandra Pullman: I can crack Annie Banks.
Robert Strickland: No! Just move on to the next one, Sandra.
Sandra Pullman: There isn't going to be a next one! [pause] I'm sorry, I didn't want it to come out like that. And I don't want you thinking this has anything to do with Annie Banks-
Robert Strickland: -So, you're leaving.
Sandra Pullman: Max Clement has offered me a place on his War Crimes team. And I've given it a lot of thought-
Robert Strickland: Yeah, it was about time. Well, it's ten years, Sandra.
Sandra Pullman: I know-
Robert Strickland: It's a good move and it'll be a fantastic experience.
Sandra Pullman: You're not worried about the team?
Robert Strickland: Well, they're a good team and that's thanks to you. But let them be my problem. The very least I owe you for everything you've done at UCOS is not to stand in your way.
Sandra Pullman: Thank You.

[Sandra Pullman's last words on the series]

Jack Halford (ghost): Are you going to sit there moping all day, or are you come for a drink?
Sandra Pullman: I'll be right there, Jack.

Roots [10.9]

[edit]
[DCI Sasha Miller on discovering that she's been selected to head the UCOS Team]
Sasha Miller: [speaking on the phone] All five of them, sir, yeah. Well, Todorov was a bit put out but seems to be seeing sense now, sir. Well, I thought that UCOS still had a short list? Oh, right. I see. Me? Are you sure? No, I'm excited about the prospect, sir. Yep. Ok, all right. Thank you. Thanks, sir. Bye-Bye [she hangs up] Shit!
[Sasha Miller discovering her husband is having an affair in a hotel]
Sasha Miller: [talking to receptionist] Hi. DCI Miller, Metropolitan Police Unsolved Crime and Open Case Squad. I have reason to believe that a crime is being committed in one of your guest rooms. No, it's OK, stay calm. I just need to look at your room list. Thank you. Could I have a room master key, please? [she heads to the room and unlocks it discovering her husband with another woman] Darling.
Ned Hanock: Sasha!
Sasha Miller: You're not wearing your uniform. I can see you're busy. I'll see myself out.
Ned Hancock: Sash... Oh, shit...
[Sasha leaves the room and places her wedding ring on the floor]:

Wild Justice [10.10]

[edit]
[After whistleblowing a major cover-up by the Met, the UCOS team finally accept DCI Sasha Miller as their new boss]
Gerry Standing: Whenever you're ready... Guv'nor.

Cast

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New Tricks quotes at the Internet Movie Database

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