Nick DiPaolo (born January 31, 1962) is a stand-up comedian and writer.
- If hooking a car battery up to a monkey's brain will help find the cure for AIDS and save somebody's life, I have two things to say … the red is positive and the black is negative.
- Attributed by Mikkelson, Barbara and David P. (1 November 2004). "T. Bubba Bechtol". Urban Legends Reference Pages. Snopes.com. Retrieved on 2007-04-25.
- Possibly quoted earlier in Thomas, Lois (21 April 1999). "Comedian's Down-Home Style Attracts Audience". Knoxville News-Sentinel: p. S12.