Zoey Barkow: I just want you to know, I think it's supergreat that I'll be with you all day. I can tell you're somebody who, you know, lives the job, and that's totally me. Totally...
Jackie Peyton: OK, a quick question.
Jackie: Shut up.
Zoey: Is that the question?
Jackie: Let us go then, you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table. T.S. Eliot, tenth grade English. Sister Jane Deshuntel. What a champ. She's the one who told me that the people with the greatest capacity for good are the ones with the greatest capacity for evil. Smart fucking nun.
Mohammed 'Mo-Mo' De La Cruz: What does one offer as a side dish when serving John the Baptist's head on a silver platter?
Jackie: Hmm... coleslaw. No, mac and cheese. No, potato salad.
Jackie: [to Zoey] What's this about? Nobody ate your muffins? You found an ear in the toilet? So what? You know what this job is, honey? This job is wading through a shitstorm of people who come into this place on the very worst day of their lives. And just so you know, doctors are here to diagnose, not heal. *We* heal. All Saints is in the business of flipping beds. That's it, end of story. The fact that you have even the slightest inclination to help people puts you miles ahead of one hundred percent of the population. So stop crying, okay? Buck up! If you need to cry, go do it in the ladies room. Is that clear?
Zoey: Do you think it's true what they say about twins? That they can read each other's minds? Feel each other's pain?
Mohammed: Definitely. I'm a twin. I was a twin.
Zoey: [hugging Mohammed] Oh my God. I'm so sorry.
Mohammed: [brushing her off] Chica, never do that. Never think you should feel sorry for me.
Zoey: Do you remember him?
Mohammed: You know, I do. I remember being with someone, you know? Like I came into the world with someone. I didn't come here alone, so, you know, being alone-alone is hard for me. It doesn't feel bad. It just feels wrong.
Zoey: Do you ever think about what he would be like?
Zoey: I think it's interesting how you use humor to cover up your real emotions. Somebody in your past must have really hurt you, and I'm sorry for that. Because I think you're one of the most generous people I've ever met.
Dr. Eleanor O'Hara: Darling, the point of these little feasts is to eat, and never to dip into... whatever the hell that was.
Gloria: I know that you do what you think you have to get the job done, but I have been fucking the system for over thirty years. There's not a move in this repertoire that I haven't already seen.
Dr. Fitch Cooper: You were the better cook, you sewed all my buttons back on, you took me to Duran Duran... I loved you more, embrace it.
Mrs. Scheinhorn: The reason I was more fun was because she wanted us to bond, so she gave me all the fun stuff. That's all. She gets the credit, not me. And you know what? It worked. Here we are. Voilà
Gloria: [to a coma patient] I've never been a fan of movies where idiots talk to people in comas. Would you consider signing something clearing All Saints of any neglective malfeasance? Just a thought.
Zoey: You know, Mr. Nutterman? I'm not so crazy about Kevin Costner either.
Neil Nutterman: Do I know him?
Zoey: Uhm. What movie won the Oscar for Best Picture last year?
Neil: When was "Showgirls"? That was a good movie.