Orange County (film)
- Do you want me to get naked and start the revolution?
- Shaun: Dad, I want to become a writer.
- Bud: A writer?! What do you have to write about? You're not oppressed, you're not gay.
- Shaun: Not all writers are gay.
- Bud: Well, they are all poor. I'll tell you that.
- Firefighter: What's your name?
- Lance: Uh, Joe... John... uh, Joe-John.
- Firefighter: Your name's Joe-John?
- Lance: John-ston, Johnston. Joe.
- Firefighter: You wanna tell me what happened here?
- Lance: Uh, there was a fire, I dunno, I came by and it's... checkin out the fire.
- Firefighter: Well that lady uh, Mona? She said that you two were in the building together when the fire started.
- Lance: Yeah, she's a liar, cuz I dunno her so whatever, whatever she says is a lie, so...
- Firefighter: K, so you're saying you weren't in the building with that woman?
- Lance: No, not I! Aright, she started it, aright? Because she was like "I hate my job, I'm gonna burn this mother down!" And I said "You better not... you better not!"
- Firefighter: She said it was an electrical fire.
- Lance: It was. It was a total electrical fire, it was like uh, the switches had sparks comin out, and the sockets, and uh it was like the 4th of July, man!
- Firefighter: Why aren't you wearing your pants, Joe?
- Lance: I tripped, and uh then I had to take 'em off to run faster out of the flames... [coughing] I think I inhaled some smoke, will you excuse me one second, I'll be right back. [runs away in the background]
- Firefighter: [into walkie talkie] We got a sprinter. Five foot five, no pants, unkempt... portly.
- Colin Hanks as Shaun Brumder
- Jack Black as Lance Brumder
- Catherine O'Hara as Cindy Brumder
- Lily Tomlin as Charlotte Cobb, College counciler
- Schuyler Fisk as Ashley
- John Lithgow as Bud Brumder
- Carly Pope as Tanya
- Harold Ramis as Don Durkett
- Mike White as Mr. Burke, English teacher
- Bret Harrison as Lonny
- Kyle Howard as Arlo
- RJ Knoll as Chad
- George Murdock as Bob Beugler
- Chevy Chase as Principal Harbert
- Sarah Hagan as Sarah
- Leslie Mann as Krista
- Garry Marshall as Arthur Gartner
- Dana Ivey as Vera Gartner
- Jane Adams as Mona
- Lizzy Caplan as Party Girl
- Alexandra Breckenridge (uncredited) as Anna
- Kevin Kline (uncredited) as Marcus Skinner
- Ben Stiller (uncredited) as The Firefighter
- Fran Kranz (uncredited) as Shane Brainard
- Tom Kenny (uncredited) as SpongeBob SquarePants / Gary (voice)