Over the Garden Wall

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Over the Garden Wall (2014) is an Emmy Award-winning animated television miniseries created by Patrick McHale for Cartoon Network. The series centers on two half-brothers who travel across a strange forest in order to find their way home, encountering odd and wonderful things on their journey.

The Old Grist Mill [1][edit]

Narrator: Somewhere lost in the clouded annals of history lies a place that few have seen—a mysterious place called the Unknown, where long forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood.

Wirt: [sees Woodsman off] Shoot. Y-you think we should've asked him for help? [Greg shrugs]
Bird: Maybe I can help you. I mean, you guys are lost, right? [Wirt gasps, slaps his face]
Wirt: What in the world is going on?
Gregory: Well, you're slapping yourself, and I'm answering your question, and—
Wirt: No, Greg, a-a bird's brain isn't big enough for cognizant speech.
Bird: Hey, what was that?
Wirt: I mean, I-I'm just saying, you're-you're weird. Like, not normal. I-I mean... oh my gosh, stop talking to it, Wirt.
Bird: It?
Wirt: Uh, I-I-I'm—
Woodsman: [appears suddenly] What're you doing here?! Explain yourselves!
Bird: [flies off] Aaand I'll see you guys later, bye.
Wirt: Calm, calm down, mister! Wh-whatever you do here is your business! W-w-we just wanna get home with all our legs and arms attached!
Woodsman: These woods are no place for children! Don't you know the Beast is afoot here?!
Wirt: The Beast? W-w-we-we-we don't know anything about that! W-we're just two lost kids trying to get home!
Woodsman: Well, welcome to the Unknown, boys. You're more lost than you realize.

Woodsman: The mill is destroyed... the oil! All gone!
Wirt: But look! We, w-we got the beast problem solved. [points at the dog]
Woodsman: That dog?! That is NOT the Beast! The Beast cannot be mollified like some farmer's pet! He stalks like the night. He sings like the Four Winds. He is the Death of Hope! He steals their children and he'll... ruin... [mumbles]
Wirt: You're always messing up, Greg.
Woodsman: Boy! You, have it backwards! You are the elder child! You are responsible for you, and your brother's actions!

Hard Times at the Huskin Bee [2][edit]

Beatrice: It's you again. I'm stuck. Help me out of here, and I'll owe you a favor.
Greg: Whoa! I get a wish?
Beatrice: No, no. no. Not a wish. I'm not magical. I'll just do you a good turn.
Greg: Can you turn me into a tiger?
Beatrice: Um, no. I just said I'm not magical.
Greg: It doesn't have to be a magical tiger.
Wirt: So it's some kind of weird cult they wear vegetable costumes and dance around a big thing. They seem nice enough.
Beatrice: Okay, you're in denial. That's fine. But I'm just saying, something feels off about this place.

Schooltown Follies [3][edit]

Greg: [singing] Oh, potatoes and molasses

If you want some, oh, just ask us
They're warm and soft like puppies in socks
Filled with cream and candy rocks

Oh, potatoes and molasses
They're so much sweeter than algebra classes
If your stomach is grumblin' and your mouth starts a-mumblin'
There is only one thing to keep your brain from crumblin'

Oh, potatoes and molasses
If you can't see 'em, put on your glasses
They're shiny and large like a fisherman's barge
You know you've eat enough when you start seeing stars

Oh, potatoes and molasses
It's the only thing left on your task list
They're short and stout to make everyone shout
For, potatoes and molasses
For, potatoes and-

Mr. Langtree: [bursting into the room] That's enough!

Songs of the Dark Lantern [4][edit]

The Tavern Keeper: Well, hey there Peach Pot. Whatcha doing around-- Hey, what's that bird you got there?
Wirt: It's a--
Beatrice: I am Beatrice! These two sweet kids and I got a bit lost in the--

[The tavern keeper knocks the broom and Beatrice yells out and groans]

The Tavern Keeper: No birds allowed in my tavern!
Beatrice: No birds allowed in your--
The Tavern Keeper: It's a bad omen when a bluebird enters through your door. It's bad luck!
Beatrice: Lady bluebirds are good luck! We bring joy and happiness to the-- [Screams]
The Tavern Keeper: Good luck, bad luck-- I don't need any of it!
Beatrice: Curse you, lady! Curse you! You'll die someday, and I'll laugh-- Laugh Ha Ha Ha!

[Wirt is knocked the broom and groans]

Beatrice: Forget this. I'm out of here. Wirt, you get directions.
Wirt: W-wait, No. i don't want to--
Beatrice: Just do it!
Wirt: Wait, wait, wait! Lantern? The Woodsman was the guy with the weird lantern, not the Beast.
The Tavern Keeper: Pilgrim, He who carries the Dark Lantern must be the Beast.
Wirt: What? No, The Woodsman's a good guy. He warned us of the Beast and told us which direction to go to avoid him.
The Tavern Keeper: And now you're more lost than ever huh?
Wirt: Oh yeah, Hey, can you give us some directions? Our friend Beatrice is trying to take us to Adelaide of the Pasture, the Good Woman of the Woods. She can help us get home.
Fred (the horse): Nice to horse your acquaintance!
Beatrice: You can talk?

Mad Love [5][edit]

Wirt: Um, Beatrice, w-why are you pretending I'm this guy's nephew?
Beatrice: We need money.
Wirt: You're scamming him?
Beatrice: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him.
Wirt: What? No way.
Beatrice: Why not? We already stole a horse.
Fred: Hey, guys.
Wirt: No, we didn't. Fred's a talking horse. He can do whatever he wants.
Fred: I want to steal.
Wirt: But, well, I-I have this crush on this girl.
Beatrice: Mmm-hmm.
Wirt: That's all.
Beatrice: That's all?
Wirt: And I think about her lot, and I played clarinet.
Beatrice: Wirt! You got to be kidding me.
Wirt: And I secretly whisper poetry to myself in my room at night.
Beatrice: Wirt, That stuff's not weird. Those are just--[Sighs of relief] Well, the poetry thing is weird.

Lullaby in Frogland [6][edit]

Greg: [singing] Oh, we're going to the Pasture to meet Adelaide and ask her if she has a way to send us back where we came from.

I don't know who she is or how she is or when, what, why she is.

Wirt: [singing] But as for where she is, she is where we will go.
Both: To Adelaide, to Adelaide. Come on and join the Adelaide Parade. Adelaide, To Adelaide. We're going to Adelaide's house today.

[Wirt starts laughing and sighs]

Wirt: Boy. Finally going home.
Greg: Wirt, drum me!
Wirt: Okay.

[Wirt bangs on the drum and Greg groans]

Greg: [open his eyes] Are we good?
Wirt: [breathes deeply] I think so.
Beatrice: Wirt, sometimes you go to face your problems. Turn yourself in and get kicked off this boat.
Wirt: Oh no. Beatrice, I'm too young to go to frog jail. [Whimpers]
Greg: Hey, why don't you play the bassoon?
Wirt: That'll get us kicked off this boat for sure.
Beatrice: [Gasps in shock] No, Greg's right. You should play it. Go ahead. You'll do fine. You play instruments, right?
Wirt: Yeah, But bassoon and clarinet are way different.
Beatrice: Adelaide, we need to talk.
Adelaide: Did you bring me what I asked for?
Beatrice: I found two brothers lost in the woods, but I can't give them to you, Adelaide. They need to go home.
Adelaide: Nonsense! I'll give them a wonderful home here.
Beatrice: That's what you said, but--
Adelaide: Can't you see I'm sick and helpless? [Imitating coughing] Ah-choo! I'm all alone in the world. I want a child servant.
Beatrice: Servant? I thought you just wanted some yard work done.
Adelaide: Our arrangement was for you to bring me a child servant and then I give you the scissors... To snip, snip, snip your family's wings away to make them human again.
Beatrice: What if I became your servant?
Adelaide: Ha! I need a big strong child!
Beatrice: You can turn me into a human, can you?
Adelaide: Oh yes--Scissors!
Beatrice: Yeah. yeah. So give me the scissors. i'll go help my family. [Gasps] Wirt!
Adelaide: Close the door! I'll catch my death of cold!
Wirt: What's going on?
Wirt: All along, you've been leading us to this crazy lady?
Adelaide: I do as he commands --The voice of the night, the Beast of eternal darkness.

[Beatrice open the window and the wind air blew out]

Adelaide: What are you doing? Ohh!
Beatrice: Wirt? Greg?

[Beatrice coughs and rans out of the door]

Beatrice: Greg! Wirt! It wasn't what it looks like! I was just -- [Starts to cry] Please come back! Ohh.

[Beatrice begins to sob]

Wirt: Hmm.
Greg: Wirt, what about Beatrice?
Wirt: Hmm, I shouldn't trusted anyone.

The Ringing of the Bell [7][edit]

Gregory: Wow, Wirt! You saved the day twice today!
Wirt: Yeah, I guess. But so what? We're still not any closer to getting home. I just don't know what I'm doing out here anymore. I don't know if we'll ever get back home.
Gregory: Sure we will! What can stop us? You got a plan, remember?
Wirt: I lied.
Gregory: Aw, come on! Let's go, captain! Lead the way! You can do it! [Wirt sighs; the Beast watches them]
Beast: Yes, yes. All hope will soon be lost. [turns to the Woodsman] We're lucky the boy had the plot to best you. Your play could have cost us both. Don't you care about keeping the lantern lit? Don't you care about your daughter's soul?
Woodsman: One cannot trade the souls of children as if they were tokens! There has to be another way.
Beast: No. There was only me. There was only my way. There was only the forest, and there was only surrender.

Babes in the Wood [8][edit]

Cloud City Recpetion Comitee: So, what brings you to Cloud City?
Greg: Well, I'm supposed to be a leader, but I don't know how.
Cloud City Reception Comitee: Why don't you lead our band in a song?
Greg: Okay.
Beatrice: Wirt!
Greg: Wirt! Wirt?
Wirt: Greg?
Beatrice: Wirt, are you okay? Wirt!
Wirt: Greg? I-I-I--
Beatrice: Where's Greg, Wirt?
Wirt: Beatrice? [Breathing and groans]
Beatrice: [calling] Wirt. Wirt!

Into the Unknown [9][edit]

Greg: Hey, Wirt, whatcha doing?
Wirt: Nothing.
Greg: I was helping old lady Daniels rake some leaves in exchange for candy.
Wirt: Greg, It's Halloween. Candy is free.
Kathleen: Oh, look at you. What are you supposed to be?
Greg: It's an elephant costume. [Starts trumpeting] Phbt! See my trunk?
Sara: Uh... you can let go of my hand now.
Jason Funderberker: Oh... yeah.
Kid: You could hold my hand, Funderberker. I don't care.

[Greg begins to howl and spinning around]

Kid: Hey, isn't that Wirt's little brother?
Greg: No. I'm the headless elephant. [Starts to trumpeting]

[The kids begin to laugh]

The Unknown [10][edit]

Beast: Did you fetch for me the Golden Comb?
Greg: Will that work?
Beast: This is a honeycomb.
Greg: Golden comb of honey. [Giggles]
Beatrice: Greg! Oh! [Whimpers] Oh! [Howls] Greg!
Greg: Huh?
Beast: Never mind that, Gregory. You've brought me the first two items--a golden comb and a spoon of silver thread.
Wirt: What the... Beatrice?
Beatrice: Wirt!
Wirt: Beatrice! What are you doing out there?
Beatrice: I saw Greg!
Wirt: What?
Beatrice: I saw Greg. He was w-with someone.
Wirt: Wait. that's dumb.
Beast: What?
Wirt: That's dumb. I'm not just gonna just wander around in the woods for the rest of my life.
Beast: I'm trying to help you.
Wirt: You're not trying to help me. You just have some weird obsession with keeping this lantern lit. It's almost like your soul is in this lantern.
Beatrice: Wirt...
Wirt: Come with us.
Beatrice: I--I got to go home, too, admit to my family it's my fault they're bluebirds.

[Wirt clears throat and hand it to the scissors]

Beatrice: What?
Wirt: The scissors that'll make your family human again.
Beatrice: You had them all along!
Wirt: I-I used them to escape Adelaide, and then-- Then... yeah, I-I was sort of mad at you.
Beatrice: [tearfully] Oh, you... wonderful mistake of nature!
Beast: You see, Woodsman? All who perish here will become tress for the lantern. Cut them down with your ax. Go! Now!
Beatrice: [singing] One is a bird Two are the trees Three is the wind of the leaves Four are the stars Five with the moon
Wirt: Our frog.
Greg: Our frog!
Jason Funderberker: Our frog?

Cast[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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http://over-the-garden-wall.wikia.com/wiki/Transcript