Annie: So what are you hiding from the law or is it just a bad nose job?
Penelope: Mhm, bad nose job.
Max: Good God, he licked me.
Lemon: Edward, don't lick Max.
Edward Vanderman Jr.: Try to remember - I'm your son.
Edward Vanderman Sr.: That's exactly what I'm trying to forget!
Duty Cop: Detailed description?
Jessica Wilhern: Brown hair. Brown eyes. [pauses] A unique... ly pleasant personality.
Franklin Wilhern: Think pig.
Duty Cop: So she's a fat girl?
Penelope: Helleborus orientalis. They're amazing; they bloom even in the winter.
Annie: That's cool.
Penelope: They just pop up without any help from anyone.
Annie: [laughs] Kind of like my ex-boyfriend, if you know what I mean.
Penelope: [telling her class her story] And we lived happily ever after - well, happily ever after so far at least.
Child #1: I don't get it. What does it mean?
Penelope: Well, you tell me what you think it means.
Child #2: Rich people stink!
Child #3: It's always the mother's fault.
Child #4: It's not the power of the curse - it's the power you give the curse.
Max: All Halloween I've been running into someone I used to know.
Penelope: [wearing a pig mask] This someone - she meant a lot to you?
Max: Yes, yes she did.
Penelope: What happened?
Max: I couldn't give her what she wanted.
Penelope: What did she want?
Max: To be free.
Journalist #1: Do you have any other pig parts?
Journalist #2: With such a large nose, do you smell better than the rest of us?
Penelope: [laughs] You tell me.
Wanda: Wait! He's still a blue-blood! He can break the curse.
Penelope: Max, I know this face repulses you... And I wouldn't, I wouldn't dream of asking you to accept it.
Max: No... No... No...
Penelope: But this isn't me, the real me is inside here somewhere just waiting to get out and you can make that happen and once the curse is broken I'll be just like anybody else.
Max: What if the curse doesn't get broken? What if the curse can never be broken?
Penelope: Then I'll kill myself. I promise, I promise I will. Marry me, Max. Marry me.
Max: I can't.
Penelope: Get out.
Wanda: Get out. Get out!
Penelope: I'm not the one who ran, Mother!
Jessica: Well, of course they run, dear. [suddenly angry] When you spring yourself on them like that! Do you think I showed your father my mole on our first date? No. I had the good sense to wait until after we were married!
Penelope: I didn't show him my "mole", Mother. I showed him (leans over the bannister) my face!
Jessica: [after Penelope scares off a room full of potential suitors] What was that?
Penelope: Just speeding things up!
Jessica: (looks at the junk food on the table) And now you’re just going to make a pig of yourself?
Penelope: (opening a mini-pack of Ho-Ho's) No, that’s already been done for me!
Jessica: Stop that! (knocks Ho-Ho's out of her daughter’s hand)
Penelope: That was the last of the Ho-Ho’s! (gets up in a rage) Where’s your credit card? I’m going to the store!
Jessica: No, no, no! Hey! Look, you want more Ho-Ho’s? We’ll send Jake for some!
Penelope: (fighting for her mom’s purse) I’m old enough to get my own!
Wanda: (takes a handful of popcorn) Pick me up some chocolate!
Jessica: (glares at Wanda) One man Penelope, one man!
Penelope: And he’ll run too, they always run! I mean, why can’t you accept that? For seven years, I’ve been watching them run! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? Do you?
Jessica: I’m sorry but we just can’t stop!
Penelope: We can because as much as I want to believe that there’s one man who won’t run away, one man who... who... (stares at the TV set and sees Max)
Jessica: Sweet loving angels of all things merciful!