Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension

Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension is a 2011 Disney Channel original film based on the TV series Phineas and Ferb.

Dialogue

Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Perry?

Phineas: Yeah, he's our pet platypus.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Is every platypus named Perry?

Phineas: In a perfect world, yes.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Aww, well, he's a cute little fella. Hi, there. [tickles Perry's chin] Gootchie... [Perry bites his finger] OW, OW, OW!

Phineas: Perry, no! [he and Ferb pull him off] We do not bite the elderly!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Again, ow. No, it's okay, platypusses don't typically like me.

---

Phineas: [hurt and angry] So this is where you disappear to every day? You come here and fight this guy?!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No, no, he fights me, he doesn't really know this guy.

Phineas: You fight a pharmacist? Why would you even do that?!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Actually, I'm an evil scientist, but a lot of people get... confused by the lab coat...

Phineas: You're evil? He's evil?! So not only have you been lying to us this whole time, but you just stood there while we helped an evil scientist open an evil portal into an evil dimension! And you did nothing to stop us?!

Ferb: Well, he did pee on the couch.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wait a minute, I just realized: that was a conscious choice! You peed on my couch!

---

Dr. Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension): Yes, yes everyone. Doom, doom, doom and-

Both Doofenshmirtzes: Doom!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Jinx, you owe me three sodas.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension): Okay, doom for him too.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: What? But, but I'm you!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension): (Holds up puppet) "Doom"!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time I was doomed by a puppet, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice, right?

---

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I still don't get it - if we're the same person, why are you so much better at being evil than me?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension): True evil is born through pain and loss. You see, when I was a small boy back in Gimmelshtump, I had a toy train... then one day I lost it.

[Awkward pause for about 10 seconds]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: That's... that's it?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension): What do you mean?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: That's your emotionally scarring backstory?! That's your "great tragedy"?! Dude, I-I was raised by ocelots! I mean literally: disowned by my parents and raised by Central American wildcats, a-and you're telling me you just lost a toy train? That's all?! That's all you got, really?! I had to work as a lawn gnome, I was forced to wear hand-me-up girl's clothing, neither of my parents showed up for my birth!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension): Well, how did you feel when you lost that toy train?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I never lost that toy train.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension): Well maybe if you did, you would have done better. Since you've neglected to take over your Tri-State Area, I will go over there and give it a shot myself.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Great! We can be a team!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension): [sarcastically] Yeah, right...a team.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wait, was that sarcasm?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz (2nd dimension): [sarcastically] Nooo!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yeah right there, I'm pretty sure that's me when I'm being sarcastic!