Private Practice (TV series)
Private Practice is a spin-off of the popular television show Grey's Anatomy. Created by Shonda Rhimes, the series chronicles the life of Dr. Addison Montgomery as she leaves Seattle Grace Hospital for Los Angeles in order to join a private practice.
- 1 Season 1
- 1.1 Which We Meet Addison, a Nice Girl From Somewhere Else [1.01]
- 1.2 In Which Sam Receives an Unexpected Visitor... [1.02]
- 1.3 In Which Addison Finds the Magic [1.03]
- 1.4 In Which Addison Has a Very Casual Get Together [1.04]
- 1.5 In Which Addison Finds a Showerhead [1.05]
- 1.6 In Which Charlotte Goes Down the Rabbit Hole [1.06]
- 1.7 In Which Sam Gets Taken for a Ride [1.07]
- 1.8 In Which Cooper Finds a Port in His Storm [1.08]
- 1.9 In Which Dell Finds His Fight [1.09]
- 2 Season 2
- 2.1 A Family Thing [2.01]
- 2.2 Equal & Opposite [2.02]
- 2.3 Nothing to Talk About [2.03]
- 2.4 Past Tense [2.04]
- 2.5 Let It Go [2.05]
- 2.6 Serving Two Masters [2.06]
- 2.7 Tempting Faith [2.07]
- 2.8 Crime and Punishment [2.08]
- 2.9 Know When to Fold [2.09]
- 2.10 Worlds Apart [2.10]
- 2.11 Contamination [2.11]
- 2.12 Homeward Bound [2.12]
- 2.13 Nothing to Fear [2.13]
- 2.14 Second Chances [2.14]
- 2.15 Acceptance [2.15]
- 2.16 Ex-Life [2.16]
- 2.17 Wait and See [2.17]
- 2.18 Finishing [2.18]
- 2.19 What Women Want [2.19]
- 2.20 Do the Right Thing [2.20]
- 2.21 What You Do for Love [2.21]
- 2.22 Yours, Mine and Ours [2.22]
- 3 Season 3
- 4 External links
Which We Meet Addison, a Nice Girl From Somewhere Else [1.01]
- Violet: Look, I know she has the largest chunk in this practice, but we agreed to equal votes. We are supposed to vote! Sam, you ought to do something!
- Sam: What, me?
- Violet: This divorce is killing us! You need to apologize.
- Pete: Just say you were wrong for walking out, so we can get back to being a happy family.
- Violet: Yeah!
- Sam: I never... I-I didn't... I am not apologizing to her. She's the one.... Naomi hires Addison and then moves her in right next door to me. I saw her naked this morning.
- Cooper: You saw her naked?
- Pete: Did she look good naked?
- Violet & Sam: Focus!
- Naomi: You'll have Dell. He's studying to be a midwife.
- Addison: The cute boy who answers the phone?
- Cooper: [to Addison] Do you think there's something wrong with, uh, having sex with a woman who wants you to call her... mama?
- Addison: I need you to say it.
- Pete: You did not move down here because I kissed you. [Addison begins walking away] You so moved down here because I kissed you.
- Addison: [to herself] I heard that!
- [In the conference room]
- Violet: We're a team. We're partners, Naomi.
- Sam: You can't just bring somebody in.
- Pete: Without asking us.
- Cooper: Yeah.
- Sam: We're a democracy. We vote.
- Violet: We vote or it doesn't happen.
- Naomi: You're right. We should've voted. I was wrong.
- Violet: Good. Okay, let's vote.
- Addison: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute. Uh, I have been working here less than 24 hours, and in that time I discovered that I not welcome here, I learned I am a one-man gynie show, and I performed crazy McGyver surgery, and... Sam saw my booty. So, this has not been a great day for me. This day kind of sucked. But you know what I had one patient... one patient the entire day, and I loved it. So you want me gone? Too bad. I'm in. I'm putting my foot down. My foot's down. It's down. I'm not going anywhere. So... yeah. I thought I... I thought I had a big finish but... I don't. So... I'm done. No, no. I do have a big finish. If I hadn't been here today, if you'd had someone else, that girl would've died delivering her baby. I saved her life. I saved your asses. I'm a world-class neonatal surgeon. And I'm here to stay. Welcome to the new Oceanside Wellness. [Addison leaves]
- Naomi: That's why I didn't tell you she was coming.
In Which Sam Receives an Unexpected Visitor... [1.02]
- Pete: Addison is mad at me because Cooper hired a stripper.
- Violet: I'm ignoring the stripper. Today is a day for ignoring things. I am all business today.
- Pete: God. I am a wreck. Long day.
- Addison: I just sent a man to jail for trying to get rid of his own kid, but... your day sounds really hard.
- Pete: I didn't know.
- Addison: Oh, no. Of course not. You spent the entire day dealing with the perils of aromatherapy and uh... your stripper.
- Pete: I know you don't believe me, but I like my women real. Real skin, real breasts, real lines around their eyes that mean that they've really lived and had pain. You show me that woman, and I'm interested... and not in a slippery way. [gets up to leave, but stops] And, Addison... I think it's great that you try to take care of Naomi, but who takes care of you?
In Which Addison Finds the Magic [1.03]
- Addison: [soaking wet] It rains in Seattle which is where I left my umbrella! It does not rain in Los Angeles!
- Dell: It rains in LA, it's raining right now.
- Addison: Really? Right now!
- [Talking about Pete with Naomi and Violet]
- Addison: I don't even know if he's normal. One minute he's hot, the next minute he's arctic; I don't need that kind of damage, no matter how fancy his lips are; here he comes.
- Addison: You know this is a very serious issue. This is a woman who has needs, who has wants, who needs and wants magic in her life. This is not a dirty little joke that you can make your dirty little jokes about, dirty man.
- Pete: You don't know me at all. You think you do, but you don't, so don't call me names.
In Which Addison Has a Very Casual Get Together [1.04]
- Addison: Why has nobody, including you, responded to my invitation tonight? I invited everyone from work to my home over a week ago, a week...
- Sam: Addison, I live three feet away from your new home, If you have a party, I'm going to be there even if I don't want to be.
- Addison: What a delightful acceptance.
- Dell: Did I mention I'm a total whiz at the female anatomy? I-I-I'm acing my midwifery classes. I got it all up here.
- Addison: Yeah, yeah, keep it up there.
- Dell: [shouting in a room filled with patients] Vulva! Labium majus!
- Sam: If that's flirting, you need new skills.
- Cooper: Violet! Step away from the pee-pee!
In Which Addison Finds a Showerhead [1.05]
- Pete: I barely notice your incredible breasts or your cellulite-free thighs because your brain is such an immense turn-on to a man as highly evolved as I am.
- Violet: William Jefferson Clinton.
- Addison: Huh?
- Violet: It's 2010. Bill and Hillary have grown apart. It's nothing he did, just... it happens. We inexplicably run into each other at the Lincoln Memorial and it's very late night...
- Addison: [groaning] Oh my god.
- Violet: He recognizes something in me, something that makes him feel... whole. So we talk about the Camp David Summit, some chat about how we can't possibly, the Secret Service. Next thing you know I have a presidential library in Little Rock and there's a legendary picture of me and Bill laughing and sharing sections of The Times while our child plays under the dinner table, and... orgasm.
- Naomi: You're really over Allen, aren't you?
- Violet: Oh, I got Bill now. Bill's all I need.
- Sam: I like to think that pain is what forces us to grow.
In Which Charlotte Goes Down the Rabbit Hole [1.06]
- Addison [about Charlotte]: Fascinating. She's been here all night?
- Pete: She snores...
- Naomi: God, asleep, she looks almost harmless.
- Addison: Hm, like a sleeping tiger.
- Pete: Shh. Don't wake the tiger.
- Naomi: You do a lot for the practice.
- Dell: You are the practice. And you keep it running; the way you deal with the patients, the way you care. Your dream is what started it in the first place.
- Naomi: And Sam's.
- Dell: And Sam's. [moves in closer to Naomi] But I do it for you.
In Which Sam Gets Taken for a Ride [1.07]
- Dell: [excited about monitoring a birth] I'm here to monitor your contractions.
- Sara: Alright.
- Dell: Uh, any questions or concerns, anything I could do to help?
- Sara: Oh, no, nah. I've done three of these, I just say a little prayer, and go. You just sit there and catch the baby like it's a football, okay?
- Addison: And you are a thinker. So, what do you think? About me and Pete. Come on, Nay, you're my friend.
- Naomi: Okay. Fine. You said you want change, and you pick Pete. What, a cute doctor boy with nice eyes. That's not change, that's your MO. You're just... you're rushing into something new.
- Addison: I'm not. I'm... making a decision to take a chance on something that feels right.
- Naomi: Because you're afraid to be alone.
- Addison: So what if I am?! Surprise, Naomi, I'm susceptible to the human condition. Look through our other men, I mean there are men in uniform I cannot be alone with right now. I did not pick Pete because I'm desperate and lonely. Pete is my choice
- [Violet and Cooper are getting ready to have sex. Violet has just disrobed]
- Cooper: [looks up from taking off his trousers] Oh, you're... wow, you're naked.
- Violet: Yeah, it makes the sex easier.
- Cooper: It's just, ah, I've never seen you naked. In the office, you always have your clothes on.
- Violet: Well, yeah, I try to be a professional.
- [Cooper stands there with his arms crossed in front of him]
- Violet: [indicating to his underwear] Rip off the bandaid, Coop. I did.
- Cooper: [after a long pause] Yeah... can't.
- Violet: Y... you have to... you've already seen me naked.
- Cooper: I know, and you're... beautiful. I'm sorry, I... thought I could but... [starts putting his clothes back on]
- Violet: You can't reject me, you have low standards... you have no standards!
- Cooper: It's different, Violet.
- Violet: No, it's not different! I... I am offering you uncomplicated, unemotional sex.
- Cooper: No! I... You're... you're not some random girl from the Internet, with you it doesn't mean nothing... it never will...
In Which Cooper Finds a Port in His Storm [1.08]
- [Sam walks into the cafeteria. Pete and Cooper are there]
- Sam: They're behind closed doors.
- Cooper: Who?
- Sam: The women... If they're gonna talk about us, we should talk about them.
- Cooper: Yeah, let's talk, let's talk smack.
- Addison: I was humiliated.
- Violet: Were you completely naked? Did you stand in front of him like a peeled banana while he looked over your best parts? Because I have good parts and Cooper passed on them. I have good parts!
- Addison: Damm right you do and so do I!
- Violet: I like your breasts.
- Addison: You have a good ass.
- Violet: Thank you! I like it.
- Naomi: Hey, hey, hey! The point is, we should not be having sex in the office.
- Violet: Who's having sex in the office?
- Naomi: No one. No one! That's the point! It gets complicated, you just... you don't know where you stand.
- Naomi: God's trying to tell us something.
- Sam: It's a coincidence.
- Naomi: No, we have sex and then the day after our priest summons us. It's the fires of hell, Sam. We had sex!
- Sam: Just don't mention we had a divorce, I don't need a lecture.
- Naomi: Huh?
- Sam: Play it cool.
- Naomi: Yeah, that's cool.
- Father Mark: Thank you so much for coming.
- Naomi: We had sex and, and we're divorced.
In Which Dell Finds His Fight [1.09]
- Sam: What about sleepwalking? You bumping into things?
- Wendell: What am I, an idiot?
- Nate: You are kind of a klutz.
- Wendell: Watch it.
- Nate: Or what? You're going to come over here and fall on me?
- Dell: What did you do to her?
- Sam: Excuse me?
- Dell: You heard me. What did you do?
- Sam: I don't think that's any of your business.
- Dell: No, it is, okay?
- Sam: No, it's not! Dell, I know that you're upset about Wendell...
- Dell: This is nothing to do with him! Okay? Every time she walks away from you, she's miserable. And I care about how she feels, okay? I care!
- Sam: Dell...
- Dell: No, I know what you think, but this isn't just a crush. Okay? Maybe after so many years you just don't see it. You know how many women think like that, and, and look like that and laugh like that and care? One. So far I've met one. And yeah she's, she's out of my league in every possible way, but I don't care. She... dazzles me, and I'm not stupid enough to hope that one day I'll meet someone like her when the time is right because I won't. I love her, okay? And I guarantee you, I wouldn't make her cry.
- Sam: Okay, uh, Dell, I know that you're under a lot of stress right now, so I'm going to pretend you didn't just say those things about my wife.
- Cooper: Who kicked your dog?
- Pete: I think I'm helping some other guy win over Addison.
- Cooper: Good job.
- Pete: It'd be weird to punch him out now, right?
- Cooper: Yeah, a little bit.
- Charlotte: [to Cooper] Sex is best when you feel like you want to kill the other person.
A Family Thing [2.01]
- Naomi: Your family, whatever that means, if you're single, if you're married, if you have kids, or if you want kids. Your family should be the most important thing, and your family is the most important thing... to us.
- Charlotte: I miss the good old days. When life and death was decided by God instead of doctors.
- Violet: Well, we'd be out of jobs.
Equal & Opposite [2.02]
- Lisa: [talking about her husband, Brian] He's all I have. Brian, he's all I've ever had. I was shy... before him. I was shy and... Brian sees me. He sees me and he knows me and he loves me. My whole life, I felt like there was this missing piece of me, like I didn't fit, and Brian... he's my missing piece, so before you say no to the surgery, consider... just consider what you're asking of me. You're asking me to make myself less whole, to lose a part of me. He's... my missing piece. My best friend is my missing piece.
- Pete: [explaining a procedure to Jodie, the temp] Actually, the treatment is preformed on the whole body, adapted for the skin sensitivity of each individual, so-
- Violet: [scoffs] This place is bad enough without you trying to sell your magic beans to everyone. I mean, does she really look like she needs help? Does that body need... anything? I mean, does any body really need its fat pulverized into submission?
- Pete: Violet, you know what you are? You are a... a a judger. You're a judgy judger who has no right to judge until she tries it for herself.
- Sam: I did what you asked because I had convinced myself that it was the right thing to do for Kirk. But the truth was, I was protecting the wrong person.
- Charlie: This isn't about protecting me.
- Sam: No, I meant protecting me. I was protecting myself from your threat. And that's not the kind of doctor I am. That's not the kind of doctor that I want to be. You asked me if it was somebody I loved, what I would do, and... it would kill me, Charlie, but I wouldn't want to force someone to live a way that they couldn't live with, because that would be for me and not for them.
Nothing to Talk About [2.03]
- Pete: Do you think I'm old?
- Addison: Tell me you did not sleep with that temp. [laughs] You... you slept with Jodie the temp.
- Pete: Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
- Addison: Yeah, well, at least you're getting out there. Me? Two dates seems to be my limit.
- Pete: The cop?
- Addison: He didn't call after our last date, so I called him, left him a message, a... horrifying, embarrassing message. Probably scared him off. Not that I care. You know, I'm glad to not be talking to him.
- Pete: Well, at least he didn't tell you you were old. Although... she did say that I was great.
Past Tense [2.04]
- [When Kevin visits Addison at the work]
- Addison: Hey, to what do I owe this surprise?
- Kevin: I've got this coming weekend off and I was thinking you, me, Cabo San Lucas, weekend away Pamia, very fancy, perfect clear blue waters. [shows Addison the tickets] We could get away... too much?
- Addison: No... Yes... No... Yes... yes. No here's look here's the thing, we've been out a few times and um it's, it's been great I, I really like you...
- Kevin: Is this where you break up with me?
- Addison: No-- No, it's just um-- I have these rules, while they're stupid rules really but, in the past when I don't have rules it didn't go so well... my my my point is that now that I have my rules I don't wanna break them you know.
- Kevin: Yeah... I have no idea what you're talking about. I wanna know but, um, rules?
- Addison: Sex rules.
- Kevin: Rules about sex?
- Addison: You know a hotel means a room, a room means a bed, a bed means...
- Kevin: You have sex rules.
- Addison: I'm waiting.
- Kevin: Until marriage?
- Addison: No, no, no, no, I just um, until it feels right, until I'm sure.
- Kevin: Okay, so we'll wait. I'm good with waiting. I'm happy with waiting.
- Addison: Really?
- Kevin: No, but I can wait.
Let It Go [2.05]
- [Addison and Kevin lay naked together, eating noodles on the floor]
- Addison: So if I lease the fourth floor, then Sam and Naomi hate me, but if I don't, the Practice may go under.
- Kevin: So you lease it right?
- Addison: You make it sound easy.
- Kevin: I lead guys everyday, leader makes tough decisions, sometimes that means pissing of a friend for the good of the group.
- Addison: I want people to stop being pissed off.
- Kevin: Well, you need to decide who you want to be, a good friend, or a good leader?
- Addison: You're smart, I don't like that.
- Kevin: Yes, you do. [Addison smiles] You want me to eat noodles off your back?
- Addison: Yes, please.
Serving Two Masters [2.06]
- Violet: [to Charlotte] You're opening a practice here? What about Cooper?
- Charlotte: This has nothing to do with him.
- Violet: He's your boyfriend.
- Charlotte: This is business and Cooper is personal.
- Violet: It's not that simple.
- Charlotte: Maybe not for you, but I am not a therapist. I don't have to talk about my feelings until everyone else's ears bleed.
- Addison: You're living a lie, Daniel. You're cheating on two women and cheating ruins lives.
- Daniel: I'm not the one who ruined lives here today.
- Addison: Cooper, the Internet dater, is in a healthy relationship and my too-good-to-be-true boyfriend thinks I'm a psychotic bunny boiler.
Tempting Faith [2.07]
- Naomi (to Addison): Where's the prodigal brother?
- Addison: He's showing Kevin around, hopefully making nice. Apparently Archer didn't appreciate Kevin treating him like a criminal when they first met.
- Naomi: You mean when he broke in like a criminal?
- Addison: Exactly.
- Addison: A polite house guest would've called to say they weren't coming home.
- Archer: Good thing I'm not polite.
- Naomi: Who knew that meaningless sex could be amazing?
- Violet: You had meaningless sex? Congratulations.
Crime and Punishment [2.08]
- Cooper: Regular normal people are driven to murder every day. Right, love, love will do it every time. Twisted, sick, messed-up love.
- Sam: Cooper, Charlotte King is still alive, right?
- Meg: I don't know you very well, I certainly don't know you well enough to judge you for this. But you don't know Rene very well, yet you were quick to judge her.
- Dell: [sighs] Well... was she raped?
- Meg: Would it matter if she was? Would that make it okay? Does that make her more or less worthy? We don't get to know why. That is her business, that's her choice, Dell. That woman agonized over a difficult choice, made it and came in here. I guarantee you she was already worried about people out there judging her, only to have you make her feel ashamed. But we are medical professionals, it is part of our job to support her once she was made the hardest choice imaginable.
Know When to Fold [2.09]
- Violet: I am sex-less. I am without sex. Which can be healthy. Celibacy in some cultures is seen as a sign of strength. So I am strong. I am a strong healthy woman.
- Addison: Hm, I miss sex.
- Naomi: What are you talking about? You've got a gorgeous man sleeping in your bed.
- Addison: Yeah, that's all he is doing in my bed. Doctor's orders.
- Naomi: You have sex on the horizon, which is better than having had amazing sex in your recent past with no visible sign of it happening ever again.
- [Charlotte has just taken the pregnancy test and is waiting for the results with Cooper]
- Charlotte: Now, all we have to do is wait.
- Cooper: Come on. Little Walter? [pretends to be holding a baby]
- Charlotte: Are you trying to be funny?
- Cooper: No, that was my grandfather. He was a piano tuner. Maybe he'll play an instrument, maybe the trumpet.
- Charlotte: Please. It'll be a girl. Marjorie.
- Cooper: Your grandmother?
- Charlotte: My horse. Last animal I ever had. I was 15. She broke her ankle and had to shoot her.
Worlds Apart [2.10]
- Sam: [to Naomi] You talk about this practice. The way it's supposed to run. The way we're supposed to treat our patients. You talk about not wanting to give up and then you're going to go downstairs to that place to work with that woman who is doing everything possible to undermine us. To work for that man who's more concerned about getting recognized for his work than which patient lives or dies. How is that not selling out?
- Violet: I slept with Pete! [she pauses] There, I told you.
- Cooper: You know, I expected better from you.
- Violet: I'm sorry. It just happened-
- Cooper: You know what? If that's how you want to play it, fine.
- Violet: What are you talking about?
- Cooper: When you're ready to be mature and tell me who you really slept with I'll be around for you, Violet.
- Violet: I'm not lying to you. I really slept with Pete.
- Cooper: Okay. [steps out the door]
- Violet: Where are you going?
- Cooper: I don't want to be late for my date with Angelina Jolie.
- Cooper: Are you still having sex with the same guy? The same guy, huh? Finally going to 'fess up and tell me who?
- Violet: I told you whom it was, and you didn't believe me.
- Cooper: Who it was. And you told me Pete, which is an obfuscation, lying really.
- Violet: It's Pete, Cooper. I'm having sex with Pete. You need me to prove it to you?
- Cooper: [to Charlotte] I have a mom who feels like she lost one son to autism and maybe losing another one to the measles and she's got another one sitting out here, exposed, and maybe I'm just not persuasive enough. But he's vulnerable. She's not going to let me do anything about it. So I'm really sorry if I piled on some paperwork for you, but I don't need crap from you, right now.
Homeward Bound [2.12]
- Violet: I thought I was okay with it. But I'm not sure if I am okay with it. I'm sleeping with two men. Do I get a lecture now?
- Cooper: Yes. Yes, you do. This is good. This is progress.
- Charlotte: Well, let's see. Duke and Landry are down on bourbon, Momma's taken to her room with the vapors and neither one of them wants any part of making a decision about Big Daddy.
- Cooper: The vapors? You have a medical degree from John Hopkins. You've diagnosed your mother with the vapors?
- Violet: Okay, look, um, Pete, Sheldon, I'm um... I'm sleeping with both of you. I thought it was okay, but it's not. I realize that I, um, you... you can't do that. I can't do that, and, um, and I'm sorry.
- Pete: Who are you? [leaves]
- Violet: He's right. I'm a mess.
- Sheldon: We're all a mess, don't you know that by now? All I know is, I don't mind finding out... who you are.
Nothing to Fear [2.13]
- Charlotte: [to Cooper] I want to marry you, tomorrow. In Vegas.
- Cooper: Tomorrow? My mother-
- Charlotte: Families complicate things. Family's messy. Let's do this. Marry me, Cooper Freedman.
- Violet: I'm pregnant.
- Cooper: You're pregnant?
- Violet: And I don't know who the father is. Cooper, we are two of the most emotionally stunted people I've ever known. We've never made any progress in our personal life. We don't do personal growth and now, here you are, getting married and I'm pregnant and we're just growing all over the place.
Second Chances [2.14]
- Archer: [to Addison] This is you. Not mad. Like the time I loaned your cashmere sweater to Crystal McCullen.
- Addison: She puked on it. She puked up strawberry daiquiri all over my sweater.
- Cooper: [to Charlotte] I want you to talk to me. Do you not see that we are a perfect match and you're screwing it up?
- Charlotte: I got embarrassed and humiliated. So don't tell me about screwing things up. You think it's easy for me to look you in the face after I sobbed in your lap like a 12 year old girl, asked you to marry me and got turned down?
- Archer: I'm signing myself out.
- Naomi: What? Against all medical advice?
- Archer: Against your medical advice. Which makes you my doctor, so you have doctor-patient confidentiality.
- Naomi: What, wait, wait. You want me to lie to Addison?
- Archer: Yes.
- Violet: Looks like you're good at your job.
- Dell: Well, I'm not a doctor but, yes, I know a thing or two about pregnant women.
- Violet: Stomach cramps?
- Dell: Aren't about the baby.
- Violet: What are you talking about? I've an alien being growing inside of me.
- Derek: [to Addison] Archer's awake and complaining. Am I right? He ought to be happy he's on five of morphine.
- Addison: He says that his vision is blurry and he would like you to run another CT.
- Derek: No.
- Addison: No?
- Derek: Your brother's an ass. His vision's probably impaired because he can't see past his own ego.
- Derek: Next time I save your life, Archer, a simple thank you would suffice. If you were a neurosurgeon and not just a neurotic, you would know that it is common for a CSP to temporarily fill with fluid, post surgery. Repeat a CT in a month and this will be clear.
- Naomi: What? You mean he's going to be fine?
- Derek: No, he's going to be an ass, like he's always been.
- Charlotte: I get what you're doing for Violet.
- Cooper: Please tell me you're not changing your mind.
- Charlotte: I get that she's your best friend, but there comes a point in time when you can't have a woman be your best friend because there's a more important woman in your life. Or should be. But you and Violet, it's intimate. And she needs you. And, I think, at the end of the day, you need her. I'm outside of it. It's your thing. Your thing with Violet. And you want me to be a part of it, but I don't have it in me to make it work that way. I'm supposed to be your best friend, Cooper.
Wait and See [2.17]
- Archer (to Addison): I like women. I like a lot of women. But I am not married to Naomi and she is not the mother of my children.
- Addison: Naomi sat by your side when you had surgery. She held your hand. You're upstairs sticking your tongue down her throat, seeing her every day, letting her believe you two have something together.
- Archer: I thought I was dying.
- Addison: You are asking me to lie for you. You are making me feel dirty, and cheap, and I'm ten years old again. Telling Mother that I went out for ice cream with Daddy, when really I'm sitting in his office while he's screwing his secretary down the hall.
- Charlotte: I slept with Archer Montgomery. I just thought you shoulds know.
- Cooper: No! No! You don't get to just walk away from me after telling me that. How dare you? How dare you do this?
- Charlotte: It's just the way I am.
- Cooper: Well, that's crap. You did the one thing you could, to push me away, to make me make a choice and not you. Guess what, Charlotte? That's not gonna work. I'm not going anywhere. You want to sleep with some guy to hurt me? Make me back off? Too bad. I'm here. I'm storming the freaking castle for you and you so underestimated me. What, you thought I was so weak that I'm going to walk away because my pride got wounded? You're mine and I'm not walking away because you're scared.
- Pete: We've made a decision.
- Violet: Together?
- Sheldon: Paternity test.
- Pete: Now, one of us gets out of your hair, the other one ... has a right to know.
- Cooper: Look guys ...
- Pete: Know what, Cooper? You moved in, you pushed us out, you claimed your territory, but one thing is clear. This kid you're talking to, is not your kid, so, stay out of it.
- Violet: Look, Pete ...
- Sheldon: The answer is right there for us to know. We know that you don't want to face it, but we do.
What Women Want [2.19]
- Sam (to Cooper): You like women.
- Cooper: Yeah, and you know what? I'm living with one with no sexual benefits, I'm sleeping with one who's way too complicated and the one place where there can just be men; there are women.
- Addison (to Violet): Where's Katie?
- Violet: She's still in the birthing suite. She needs some space. I'm afraid I'm not going to get through. She's in there staring at my belly. I represent everything she wants. She hates me for it.
- Pete: She doesn't hate you. She just wants something she can't have and that's hard.
Do the Right Thing [2.20]
- Sam: Having a conscience is brutal.
What You Do for Love [2.21]
Yours, Mine and Ours [2.22]
- Pete: [to Violet] I'm not the kind of guy who fights. I just don't see the point to it. And the times I've tried it, you hurt your knuckles, you don't really feel better, it doesn't solve anything. And I guess I'm, at heart, just a pacifist, 'cause I think fighting is stupid, I think war is wrong, and taking up arms for some cause just lacks nobility in today's world. So-
- Violet: Pete, Pete-
- Pete: I'm not the kinda guy who fights, but I should've fought for you! I should've fought for you, Violet. And I don't really know how else to say it except... I want your kid, whether it's mine or not. And I want your body, whether it's pregnant or not. And I want your heart, whether I have to fight for it or not. And I should've fought for it, but I was confused and angry and scared. So... I am fighting now... because I love you. And I think we can be something. I think we can be a family.
A Death in the Family [3.01]
- Police Officer: [to Pete] Sir, your relationship to... Violet?
- Sheldon: He's her boyfriend. [to Pete] I was seeing a patient upstairs and I heard.
- Pete: I'm sorry. I should've called.
- Police Officer: And who are you?
- Sheldon: I'm the baby's father.
- Pete: Uh, well, kind of the baby's father.
- Sheldon: Maybe the father. So is he.
- Pete: We're both- We're the baby's father.
- Sheldon: [to the cop] It's a long story. It's... Just wear a condom. Tell your friends. [chuckles]
The Way We Were [3.02]
- Cooper: [to Addison and Sam] What is wrong with you two? What?
- Addison: We made a pact.
- Sam: Addison and I are ignoring our problems.
- Addison: We are not going to talk or think about our problems anymore. Nothing even close to thinking or talking about our problems.
- Sam: We're gonna be strong.
- Addison: Strong.
- Sam: In denial, but strong.
- Addison: Strong.
- Cooper: Yeah, well, that's, um, you know, stupid.
- Cooper: I haven't shaved and my shirt's a little wrinkled, but beneath the depressed hobo look, I am fine.