Purple Cow Parodies

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Parodies of the poem "The Purple Cow" by Gelett Burgess.

By Carolyn Wells[edit]

  • A cow of purple is a joy forever.
    Its loveliness increases. I have never
    Seen this phenomenon.
  • She lived unknown, that Cow, and so
    I never chanced to see;
    But if I had to be one, oh,
    The difference to me!
  • For the wind is in the gum-tree,
    And the hay is in the mow,
    And the cow-bells are a-calling
    "Come and see a Purple Cow!"
  • Hence, vain deluding cows.
    The herd of folly, without colour bright,
    How little you delight,
    Or fill the Poet's mind, or songs arouse!
  • I dream of a purple creature
    Which is not as kine are now;
    And resembles cattle only
    As Cowper resembles a cow.
  • Though cows of rare sorts I am buying,
    Not one breathes a balm to my breast.
    Oh, rapturous, rose-crowned occasion,
    When I such a glory might see!
    But a cow of a purple persuasion
    I never would be.
  • Our most hearty laughter
    Something sad must rouse.
    Our sweetest songs are those that tell of Purple Cows.
  • Full many a cow of purplest ray serene
    Is haply grazing where I may not see;
    Full many a donkey writes of her, I ween,
    But neither of these creatures would I be.
  • Ask me no more. A cow I fain would see
    Of purple tint, like a sun-soaked grape -
  • Open then I flung a shutter,
    And, with many a flirt and flutter,
    In there stepped a Purple Cow which gayly tripped around my floor.

By Oliver Herford[edit]

  • Corniferous wet-nurse of the human race,
    Calm, comfortable cow, with placid pride
    Yielding your offering at eventide

By Susan and David Hollander[edit]

  • And to my horror down the lane
    Came a sight; I froze inside
    A spectral cow with purple hide.
  • In Bovine majesty she stands,
    Her purple tail she swings,
    The amethyst cow


  • "Diversions of the Re-Echo Club" by Carolyn Wells in The Book of Humorous Verses compiled by Carolyn Wells. Copyright 1920, 1936 by Doubleday & Company, Inc. [1]

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