- I'm an excellent driver.
- 13 minutes to Judge Wapner and The People's Court.
- Are you taking any prescription medication?
- One for bad, two for good.
- If the syrup is on the table after the pancakes, then it will definitely be too late.
- Charlie Babbitt made a joke.
- Dr. Bruner: Wouldn't you be more comfortable in your K-mart clothes, Raymond?
- Charlie: Tell him, Raymond.
- Raymond: K-mart sucks.
- Doctor: Are you autistic?
- Raymond: I don't think so. No. Definitely not.
- Susanna: You use me, you use Raymond, you use everybody.
- Charlie: Using Raymond? Hey, Raymond, am I using you? Am I using you, Raymond?
- Raymond: [absentmindedly] Yeah.
- Charlie: Shut up! He's answering a question from a half hour ago!
- Raymond: Gotta get my boxer shorts at K-Mart.
- Charlie: [pulls over and gets out of the car] I'm going out of my mind! Outta my mind! WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHERE YOU BUY UNDERWEAR?! WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?! UNDERWEAR IS UNDERWEAR! IT IS UNDERWEAR WHEREVER YOU BUY IT! IN CINCINNATI OR WHEREVER!!
- Raymond: K-Mart.
- Charlie: You know what I think, Ray? I think this autism is a bunch of shit! Because you can't tell me that you're not in there somewhere!
- Raymond: Boxer shorts. K-Mart.
- Charlie: I'll see you soon.
- Raymond: Yeah. One for bad, two for good.
- Charlie: Bet two for good.
- Raymond: Yeah. Course three minutes to Wapner.
- Charlie: You'll make it.
- Raymond: Yeah.
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