Reba (TV series)

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Reba was an comedy sitcom starring Reba McEntire which ran from 2001 to 2007. The show aired on The WB for the first five years and the final season aired on the CW network.


Season 1[edit]

Pilot [1.01][edit]

Dr. Peters: Okay, why don't we begin with the custody arrangements?
Cheyenne: Oh, I wanna live with Dad.
Jake: I wanna stay with Mom.
Kyra: Is boot camp an option?

Kyra: Barbra Jean's pregnant?!
Jake: I thought Cheyenne was pregnant!
Cheyenne: Shut up, Jake!
Kyra: Back off. He's just a stupid kid.
Jake: I'm not stupid. She left the pregnancy test in the trash can.

Reba: Why is it we're the only family in Texas without a gun?

Kyra: So when Daddy marries Barbra Jean, what am I supposed to call her anyway?
Reba: You're not supposed to call her anything, when you see her at the Wal-Mart, just point to her and say, "There she is. The woman who stole my daddy."

Brock: Reba, I have to marry her!
Reba: Have to? The only reason you'd have to marry her is-- Oh my God!
Cheyenne: Dad! How could you!?

Kyra: Don't worry, Mom, I know all about birth control.
Reba: Oh, really? And what age is it appropriate for a young lady to become sexually active?
Kyra: 40.
Reba: Have I mentioned you're my favorite?

Barbra Jean: There she is, the mother of the bride.
Reba: (crying) You were only supposed to bring the ice.

Reba: Momma's got a dark side

Cheyenne: Getting married is so much fun! We should have done this in our junior year!
Reba: No, honey you were smart to wait.

The Honeymoon’s Over Or Now What [1.02][edit]

Barbra Jean: God created women to carry babies and men to carry footballs.
(Everyone turns and looks at Brock)
Dr. Susan Peters: You are just precious.

Reba: My parents gave this pillow to Brock and me for our third aniversary.
Kyra: Well, we know it's not a magic pillow.

Cheyenne: I need to wear something that says: "Mrs. Montgomery."
Kyra: How about a t-shirt that says: "I'm with Stupid?"

Reba: Nothing says eternal love like the pooka.

Reba [to Cheyenne]: So how are you doing in here?
Cheyenne: Good, Van fell between the beds, once when we weren't even doing anything!
Reba: I really gotta stop asking questions...

Van: It doesn't matter where we sleep just as long as I'm with my wife.
Cheyenne: My husband.
Kyra: My lunch.

Reba [to Brock]: When you knocked up your hygienist, you lost the right to touch my muffins!

Someone’s At the Gyno With Reba [1.03][edit]

(Jake is playing with a uterus model at the gynecologist's office)
Brock: Jake, put down the uterus, it's not a toy.

(After Cheyenne didn't say anything about how Van decorated the room)
Kyra: Well, that sucked!
Reba: Tell me about it!

Cheyenne: (as she opens the fridge, which is full of food) There is like nothing in here!

Cheyenne: Do you think Dad would care about what kind of bedspread is on the bed?!
Reba: It's obvious that your father doesn't care about what's on his bed!

You Make Me Sick [1.04][edit]

Van [to Cheyenne]: I want you to stop vomiting.
Cheyenne: If I could control it I'd do it on you right now.

Van: Coach said B.J. was only sick for one day and do you know why that is?
Cheyenne: I don't know, something to do with Jesus?

Reba: There's no teenage orgy on our lawn. There's a couple frisky squirrels but I just tell Jake they're dancing.

Jake: Mom, singing's lame.

The Steaks Are High [1.05][edit]

Reba (looks at her watch): It's 5:00 AM, somebody better whack me with a mallet.

Van: See...Mrs. H, I'm "Player of the Week."
Reba: So I heard...Ungawa

Reba (after agreeing to Van's plea that she host the team's steak dinner): Boy he sure makes it hard to say no.
Cheyenne (smiling suggestively): Tell me about it.

Kyra: Mom, you hold them down and I'll whack them with the mallet!
Cheyenne: It's Marci & Luanne. They're on the drill team.
Kyra: Mom, you hold them down and I'll whack them with the mallet!

The Man and the Moon [1.06][edit]

Tea and Antipathy [1.07][edit]

Don't Know Much About History [1.08][edit]

Every Picture Tells a Story [1.09][edit]

When Good Credit Goes Bad [1.10][edit]

Meet the Parents [1.11][edit]

A Mid-Semester's Night Dream [1.12][edit]

Brock's Swan Song [1.13][edit]

The Story of a Divorce [1.14][edit]

You May Kick the Bride [1.15][edit]

Vanny Dearest [1.16][edit]

He's Having a Baby [1.17][edit]

She Works Hard for Their Money [1.18][edit]

Labor of Love [1.19][edit]

The King and I [1.20][edit]

Up a Treehouse Without a Paddle [1.21][edit]

It Ain't Over Until The Redhead Sings [1.22][edit]

Season 2[edit]

House Rules [2.01][edit]

Skating Away [2.02][edit]

Proud Reba [2.03][edit]

Reba Works for Brock [2.04][edit]

It's Jake's Party, Cry if You Want to [2.05][edit]

Safe Dating [2.06][edit]

Mommy Nearest [2.07][edit]

Switch [2.08][edit]

Ring-a-Ding [2.09][edit]

Cookies for Santa [2.10][edit]

A Moment in Time [2.11][edit]

The Rings [2.12][edit]

The Vasectomy [2.13][edit]

Seeing Red [2.14][edit]

Terry Holliway [2.15][edit]

Valentine's Day [2.16][edit]

The Feud [2.17][edit]

And the Grammy Goes To... [2.18][edit]

The Wall [2.19][edit]

The Best Defense [2.20][edit]

For Sale, Cheap [2.21][edit]

The Will [2.22][edit]

Location, Location, Location [2.23][edit]

Your Place or Mine? [2.24][edit]

Season 3[edit]

She's Leaving Home, Bye Bye [3.01][edit]

War and Peace [3.02][edit]

The Best and the Blondest [3.03][edit]

Spies Like Reba [3.04][edit]

Calling the Pot Brock [3.05][edit]

Encounters [3.06][edit]

The Ghost and Mrs. Hart [3.07][edit]

The Cat's Meow [3.08][edit]

Regarding Henry [3.09][edit]

The Great Race [3.10][edit]

All Growed Up [3.11][edit]

The United Front [3.12][edit]

To Tell You the Truth [3.13][edit]

Brock's Mulligan [3.14][edit]

The Shirt Off My Back [3.15][edit]

Sister Act [3.16][edit]

Reba: Did that seem weird to you?
Barbra Jean: Yeah, why?
Reba: Because Kyra faked being sick. She's never faked being sick before! She's faked being well just so she can go to school!
Barbra Jean: Wow, I am so easily fooled. I wonder if those kids are really blind. You know, I think some of them are just lazy.

Barbara Jean: It's always the bullies, or the jocks, or preps. The nerds aren't all that friendly, either!
Reba (to Kyra, ignoring Barbra Jean): How long has this been going on?
Barbra Jean: My whole life!

Reba: Kyra, why would you hit someone?
Cheyenne: It's how she shows affection!
Kyra: Yeah, that's right. Why don't come over here for a hug?

Brock: Kyra, when things get tough, you have to stick with them. (Reba gives him a look) WELL AT LEAST I DIDN'T HIT ANYONE!

Reba: Kyra! What did this girl do to get you to snap?
Kyra: SHE CALLED CHEYENNE A SLUT! She called Cheyenne a slut, so I punched her, ok?
Cheyenne: Oh my gosh, my psycho sister loves me!

Barbra Jean: Kyra, there are two ways you can deal with bullies: You can either hide in a bush till they forget about you, or you can buy them presents. Oh, that reminds me Reba, I picked you up something nice at the mall.

Barbra Jean: No, you can't talk to her teacher! Otherwise, you'll be smashed into a locker with chalk up your nose and duct tape in your hair!
Brock: Oh honey, I'm sorry. I wish I could've been there to protect you.
Reba: Except you were 34.

Cheyenne: So she didn't call me a slut?
Kyra: No, she called you a slut, a loser, and a teenage baby-machine.
Cheyenne: You could have just said yes!

Cheyenne: It takes one to know one, except I'm not one, but if I was one, then she would have to be one too.

Kyra: (about going shopping with Cheyenne) Mom, I have something to confess, and if you ever tell anyone, I'll deny it and I'll never tell you anything again.
Reba: What?
Kyra: I actually had a good time with her! (covers her mouth in surprise)

Cheyenne: So what did you like most about talking to me?
Kyra: All the words you mispronounced.

Kyra (to Cheyenne): All the times you weren't hugging me. I actually like talking to you. (Cheyenne goes forward to hug Kyra) All the times you WEREN'T hugging me!

Fight or Flight [3.17][edit]

The Big Fix-Up [3.18][edit]

The Good Girl [3.19][edit]

Happy Pills [3.20][edit]

Girls' Night Out [3.21][edit]

Core Focus [3.22][edit]

Season 4[edit]

The Accidental Role Model [4.01][edit]

Mother's Intuition [4.02][edit]

The Two Girl Theory [4.03][edit]

Van's Agent [4.04][edit]

Surprise [4.05][edit]

Couples' Therapy [4.06][edit]

All Fore One [4.07][edit]

Hello, I Must Be Going [4.08][edit]

Thanksgiving [4.09][edit]

No Boys Upstairs [4.10][edit]

Diamond Jim Brady [4.11][edit]

Reba and the Nanny [4.12][edit]

Date of Mirth [4.13][edit]

Reba the Realtor [4.14][edit]

Flowers for Van [4.15][edit]

Who Killed Brock? [4.16][edit]

The Pageant of Grandmas [4.17][edit]

Reba's Rules of Real Estate [4.18][edit]

Driving Miss Kyra [4.19][edit]

Go Far [4.20][edit]

Help Wanted [4.21][edit]

Hello, My Name is Cheyenne [4.22][edit]

Cheyenne: Mom, Dad... I have great news... I'm an alcoholic!
(Everyone stares at her)
Van: I'm having a beer.

Brock: What's wrong, Van? Are you on the wagon?
Van: Yes! And they shouldn't call it a wagon because wagons are fun!

Cheyenne: You probably think this sounds really weird.
Reba: No, baby, I don't.....I think it sounds like A DRINKING PROBLEM!
Cheyenne: But I don't WANT a drinking problem!
Reba: I don't want Barbra Jean living down the street from me either, but crapstorms happen!
Cheyenne (thinks): What am I gonna do?
Reba: The first thing you are gonna do is put the drink down..(points to the counter; Cheyenne sets down her drink)
Reba (walks to Cheyenne): Here's the second thing. (hugs her)
Cheyenne: I'm scared Mom, I really am.
Reba: I know, baby.

Season 5[edit]

Where There's Smoke [5.01][edit]

Cheyenne: I do not think smoking is that bad for you... I think tobacco is a vegetable.

Van [to Cheyenne]: Hey, can I have one of those vitamins? Give me a Wilma and a Dino. No, I had a Dino yesterday, make it a Barney.
Cheyenne: No. Van those vitamins aren't for you.
Van: What'd you mean they're not for....are these chick vitamins? Will I grow boobs?
Cheyenne: No. Ok, I'm going to tell you something but you cannot repeat it. They're called Disulfiram.
Van: You're right, I can't repeat that.

Reba and The One [5.2][edit]

As Is [5.3][edit]

And God Created Van [5.4][edit]

No Good Deed [5.5][edit]

Best Li'l Haunted House in Texas [5.6][edit]

Have Your Cake [5.7][edit]

Grannies Gone Wild [5.8][edit]

Invasion [5.9][edit]

Issues [5.10][edit]

Brock's Got Stones [5.11][edit]

Parenting with Puppets [5.12][edit]

Don't Mess with Taxes [5.13][edit]

The Goodbye Guy [5.14][edit]

The Trouble with Dr. Hunky [5.15][edit]

Money Blues [5.16][edit]

Reba the Landlord [5.17][edit]

The Blonde Leading the Blind [5.18][edit]

Here We Go Again [5.19][edit]

Red Alert [5.20][edit]

Two Weddings and a Funeral [5.21][edit]

Reba's Heart [5.22][edit]

Season 6[edit]

Let's Get Physical [6.01][edit]

Just Business [6.02][edit]

Trading Spaces [6.03][edit]

Roll with It [6.04][edit]

The Break-Up [6.05][edit]

Sweet Child O' Mine [6.06][edit]

Locked and Loaded [6.07][edit]

As We Forgive Those... [6.08][edit]

Bullets Over Brock [6.09][edit]

Cheyenne's Rival [6.10][edit]

Bridget:What about all the mean stuff you wrote about me on the bathroom walls. Like Bridget's missing a digit! What does that even mean?!
Cheyenne: Well, I don't know...but it was pretty funny in high school.

Reba: (about Bridget) Cheyenne, you've got to let this high school stuff go! We're talking about your home, not who should've been homecoming queen!
Cheyenne: ME!!! I WAS ROBBED!!!

She's With the Band [6.11][edit]

Reba [to Kyra]: Well, here's how a lot of artist's parents feel. You're goin' to college, and that's that!
Kyra: You can't make me. I'm 18.

Reba: It is vital that we show a united front we have got to show her that we are all in one mind.
Barbra Jean: (when Kyra walks in) Kyra, it's a trap! Follow your dreams! Run, be free!

The Housewarming [6.12][edit]

The Kids Are Alright [6.13][edit]

Van: Man, my shirt stinks.
Kyra: The washer's broken, do you have your magic butter knife?
Van: (sarcastically) Oh, Ha ha ha!
Kyra: Once again you've won an argument with your wit.

Barbra Jean: Can you believe it Reba? Six years ago this family was falling apart and then I came in and put everything back together.
Brock: Barbra Jean, that's not exactly the way I'd put it.
Reba: Hang on Brock, Barbra Jean's right, we got through it all, because we're survivors.

External links[edit]

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