Recess (TV series)
Recess is a Disney Channel animated series that aired for six seasons on the ABC network between 1997 and 2001, and spawned one theatrical film (Recess: School's Out, 2001) and two direct-to-video sequels (Recess: Taking the Fifth Grade and Recess: All Growed Down, both released in 2003).
The Break In [1.1]
- TJ: Can't you see that I'm trapped in here? I've counted the ceiling tiles 13 times, guys. There's 1,678. You hear me? 1,678!
- King Bob: [Talking about T.J.] Kids of the playground. The dumb kid should be free!
- Gretchen: Look shiny metal! Do you like the shiny metal? If you help us we'll give you the shiny metal. What you say kindergartners?
- The head kindergartner: Let's eat 'em!
- Vince: Bob's king of the playground. If he helps the other kids will follow.
- Spinelli: He better help or he's gonna meet my good friend Madam Fist!
- Kid next to King Bob: My mom called me some dumb kid this morning.
The New Kid [1.2]
- Mikey: There are lots of people without names.
- Gus: Like who?
- Mikey: Like the Artist Formerly Known as Prince, the Unknown Soldier, and the other four guys in the Jackson Five.
- Gus: I've been to 12 schools in the last 6 years, I never met anyone so friendly, it's so - so beautiful!
The Great Jungle Gym Standoff [1.4]
- Spinelli: The last one to Ol' Rusty has to give Ms. Finster a sponge bath!
- Randall: Hey! That's my job!
First Name Ashley [1.5]
- Spinelli: What's the matter? You got crayons in your ears? Get to the end of the line Randall before I give you the end of my fist!
- T.J.: We're all Ashleys, too.
- Ashley A: But, you aren't even girls!
- Gus: Hey, it's the nineties.
- Ashley A: By junior high we may be dating some guys named Paul or ... or Joe!
- TJ: There are a lot of Ashleys out there, but there's only one Spinelli.
To Finster With Love [1.6]
- Finster: [reading out grades] A... A... A... Ah, Randall, my trusted sidekick... A plus! A... A... A...
- Finster: F... F... F... Ah, Randall, my trusted sidekick... D minus. F... F... F...
:Hank the Janitor: Do you hear music?
- Finster: Whenever I look at you.
- T.J.: Hey, Ms. Finster?
- Finster: Yes, Detwiler?
- T.J.: ...Are those your shoes, or did you mug a clown on the way to school?
- Finster: Why, you little HOOLIGAN! [Runs after T.J.]
- T.J.: She's back!
King Gus [1.7]
- Gus: [singing] Gus, Gus, O Mighty Gus, king of all the playground, Gus, Gus, O Shiny Gus, we're glad such a great king we found.
- Mikey: Madness! Madness!
Big Brother Chad [1.8]
- Kindergartener: Vince. We give up to you our two front teeth. Worth 50 cents street value.
- Gretchen: Take it from someone who knows. Your brother is definitely a geek.
- Chad: Hey Vince! Check it out, I just beat myself at three-dimensional chess.
- King Bob: He's nothing but a nerd! I'm so depressed!
- Vince: Ooh, I'm quivering in my high-tops!
I Will Kick No More Forever [1.11]
- Vince: [watching an old video of himself] Man, did you see that kick??? That was in my prime!
- Gretchen: Vince, that was 2 weeks ago.
The Trial [1.16]
- King Bob: (to Randall) You threw a dirt clod during a time out? She was right, you are a worm.
- Ashley A: No, no, wait. I say we give her a swirlie. (Spinelli's eyes flush)
Teachers Lounge [1.17]
- Principal Prickly: [telling a joke] So then I say to the superintendent, "That's no kindergartener, that's my wife!"
Randall's Reform [1.18]
- T.J.: [reading] I did it. Signed, TJ?
- Finster: AHA, a confession!!
- Finster: The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.
- T.J.: But Miss Finster, you dragged me here!
The Great Can Drive [1.20]
- (Ms. Grotke's and Ms. Furley's classes are tug-of-warring over the last can either class needs to win the can drive, which Ms. Eudora Finkelstein is holding very tightly, while Mikey's whistle gets everyone's attention.)
- Mikey: Don't you see what's happening? You're all acting like animals. Can drives aren't about winning or losing; they're about helping people and being generous and sharing our bounty. Who wins and who loses matters not. So let's just put all the cans together and forget about that dumb turkey dinner. What do you say?
- T.J.: There's only one thing to say. Give me that can!
- (The tug of war resumes. This time, Ms. Finkelstein breathes heavily, refusing to handle the can any longer. The can slips away from both sides' grasps and rolls all the way to the can pyramid.)
- Mr. Prickly: The pyramid! NOOOOOOOOO!
- (The can touches the bottom of the pyramid, which begins to topple over.)
- Ms. Finkelstein: Look out, she's gonna blow!
- (Everyone flees away from the stage to avoid getting splattered by the falling cans of the pyramid, but they get splattered anyway. A broken can of peas rolls to Mikey's feet and Mikey picks it up before telling both classes off.)
- Mikey: Look what you've all done! Now nobody's gonna have a good Thanksgiving!
- (The rest of the main six and the Ashleys look at each other sadly while Mikey walks off, and hang their heads in shame over what they did.)
- Gretchen: The kids' unwritten code of honor is what makes us different from adults, different from animals. What would we be without it?
- Gus: Adult animals?
- Spinelli: Nothing, that's what!
- Gus:Its My Harmonica!
- Ashleys:Your What?
- Gus:Its My...
- Ashleys:Harmonica! Jinx!
- Spinelli: Hey! One of you drop five bucks?
- Ashleys: Oooo...
- T.J., Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, and Mikey: Scandalous! Jinx!
The Experiment [1.23]
- Butch: The future... is girls! Boys kissing girls! Girls kissing boys! And you know what else?! WE'RE ALL GONNA LIKE IT! (laughs diabolically)
- Spinelli: Boys kissing girls? Girls kissing boys?
- Gretchen: Surely, there must be some mistake. I mean, this defies the rules of nature and physics. Besides that, it's disgusting!
- T.J.: But Butch says it's the future. His brother Joey told him.
- Spinelli: Oh, please! The day I stop caring about dodgeball is the day the Earth starts spinning around the sun.
- Gretchen: Which explains the D minus you got in Science.
(After Spinelli and TJ kiss)
- Spinelli: Ack! Puke city!
- T.J.: Quick, someone get me some mouthwash!
- T.J.: You realize we may have to get married after this.
- Spinelli: You realize I may have to kill you after this.
Officer Mikey [1.24]
(looking for Ashley A's little sister, Britney)
- Spinelli: We seek a formal sit-down by she who goes by the name Britney. (four Kindergartners come forward) Er... Britney A.
The Hypnotist [2.2]
- [Prickly, hypnotized into thinking he's 6 years old, runs wild through the playground, and pulls Spinelli's hat down over her eyes]
- Spinelli: ...Did he just do what I think he did?
- T.J.: Yup.
- Spinelli: [Tries to run after Prickley, but gets grabbed by Mikey] LET ME AT 'IM! LET ME AT 'IM!
Mama's Girl [2.3]
- Spinelli: Look out, MAMAAAAA!
- Gus: Uh, sorry, guys. I guess this wasn't the best time for me to practice my cursive.
The Challenge [2.5]
- Principal Prickly: [shouting] Not only is my reputation as an educator on the line but also my reputation as a man! So get out there and win, I tell you, win! (Kids stare at him) Oh, and have fun.
Wild Child [2.6]
- Gretchen: Repeat after me. The rain...
- Kindergartener: The wain...
- Gretchen: In Spain...
- Kindergartener: In Pain...
- Gretchen: Falls mainly in the moist temperate zone northwest of the Pyranees mountains.
- Kindergartener: Bloobidy bloo bloo bloo!
The Girl Was Trouble [2.9]
- Miss Finster: This week, we've since a crime wave unparalleled in third street history. Someone on this playground is responsible for breaching nearly every rule he hold sacred.
- Mikey: Even the cannibalism taboo?
- Miss Finster: Evidence connects a single mastermind with these crimes. One kid whose done it all. Written a graffiti, mocking a faculty, de-faced restrooms, stolen food from the cafeteria, and made a complete mess of the mess area! This someone will be going directly to Principal Prickly's office. This someone will receive severe punishment befitting these atrocities. This someone...is Gretchen P. Grundler!
- [The kids gasps in shock]
- T.J.: Miss Finster, Gretchen the best kid in school!
- Vince: Yeah, you're making a terrible mistake!
- Spinelli: Tell her, Gretchen!
- Gretchen: No, guys, she's right. Take me away, Miss Finster.
- T.J.: Gretchen, what are you saying?
- Gretchen: Don't worry yourself over me anymore, T.J. I'm nothing but trouble.
- Miss Finster: March, young lady!
- T.J.: Gretchen gone bad? It can't be!
- Mikey: Down is up, black is white and the Millennium approaches!
- Gretchen: [voice-over] I know what you're asking. How did it happen? How did Gretchen Grundler, straight A student end up taking a long walk to the principal's office? It’s a story as long as a line had gone so old, but without the free refills.
- Ms. Lemon: [typing her typewriter] We've been expecting you, Grundler. Take a seat, Principal Prickly will be with you in a moment.
- [Gretchen takes a seat next to Sue Bob Murphy]
- Sue Bob: Well, well, if it ain’t Goody-Two-Shoes Grundler. What’d you do, Grundler, get too many A’s?
- Gretchen: I’m not in the mood, Murphy.
- Gretchen: [voice-over] Whatever the reason, I suddenly felt compelled to tell Sue Bob the whole sort of tale. It all started about a week ago on my birthday. [story beings to her birthday; narrating] It was a great day. My favorite Uncle George gave me the best gift I ever got. A Galileo handheld personal computer. Galileo was a dream come true. A powerful multi-function PC that fit in the palm of my hand. It had sixteen megabytes of RAM, internet access, and cute howdy froggy desktop icons that made computing fun.
- Galileo: Hey, Gretchen, don’t look now but, you’ve got mail.
- Vince: Whoa, that thing talks!
- Gretchen: [narrating] That's right, I loved a machine. Like a sister or kind uncle. Maybe it's sick, maybe it's twisted. But love it, I did. Then one day, everything changed.
- Gus: I looked in Miss Grotke’s class.
- Vince: And I checked the P.E. room. Nothing.
- Gretchen: This is a nightmare!
- T.J.: Let’s go over this again. You asked the diggers, you talked to the Ashleys, you checked the Lost and Found... [Gretchen’s eyes widen open] You did check the Lost and Found, didn’t you?
- [Gretchen gets up from the swing and quickly runs to the Lost and Found]
- Mikey: I guess that was a no.
- Gretchen: The Lost and Found box, Menlo. I need to see it, now!
- Menlo: That's not the way it works. You tell me what you lost, and I'll tell you if it's in the box, those are the rules.
- Gretchen: [sighs] One Galileo handheld PC Model G55 serial number 76502.
- Menlo: Oh yeah, [brings out the box] spiffy little piece of tech. 300 meg chip, voice activated control, cellular email.
- Gretchen: Yes, yes, that's it, is it in there?
- Menlo: No, I just like asking.
- Mundy: Wow, you smart kids know some important stuff after all.
- Gretchen: Now what about your end of the bargain?
- Mundy: I uh, traded your thingamajig to Kristen Kurst for a bite of her pizza.
- Gretchen: You mean, "Kurst the Worst?" [narrating] Skeens and Mundy were one thing but Kurst...she was a force of danger. Where is she, Mundy? Where is Kurst the Worst?
- Gretchen: Kurst! I want my Galileo computer! I know Mundy gave it to you and I want it back!
- Kurst: That piece of junk? I traded it. You can't eat a copy thingy. Now butt off! I'm about to enjoy an all-I-can-eat buffet, courtesy of Third Street School.
- Gretchen: But, but--
- Kurst: You heard me, blow! Go on, dangle!
- Gretchen: [narrating] Maybe I should've just turned around and walked away, maybe I should've gone to the authorities and let the system do its job, maybe I should've done a lot things, but I didn't. Before I knew it hit me, something inside me snapped. [snapping with fury] KURST!!! I WANT MY GALILEO AND I WANT IT NOW!
- Kurst: Oh, you do, do ya? Well that's too bad. 'Cause I handed it over to Señor Pudding!!
- [Krust and Gretchen start throwing food to each other]
- Gretchen: [voice-over] It was a crazy end to a crazy story. Principal Prickly got so interested in what I was showing him on his computer and forgot about taking away my recess, though I did have to clean up the messes. Still, I got Galileo back, I survived my sore journey through the Underworld. And I’m never going back there again.
The Beauty Contest [2.25]
- Ashley A.: Like, these are the entry forms for the official kiddie cosmetics “Little Miss Blush” beauty contest.
- Ashley Q.: Pageants, nature’s way of pointing out perfection.
- Ashley A.: I’m totally sure an Ashley would take the crown this year. So fill out your entry forms and take them please and dazzle em’...
- Spinelli: [off screen] Like totally special delivery!