Richie Rich (film)
Richie Rich (sometimes stylized Ri¢hie Ri¢h) is a 1994 American live-action film adaptation of the Harvey Comics comic book character Richie Rich in which the richest kid in the world has everything he wants, except companionship..
- [After the laser gun has destroyed her nose on Mount Richmore] Oh, my God! My nose! I look like Michael Jackson!
- Well... I'm already wanted for attempted murder, escaping from jail, and blowing up an aircraft. Breaking and entering sounds right up my alley. Let's kick some butt, shall we?
- Not so fast!
Lawrence Van Dough
- [Annoyed with his chauffeur after stepping out of his limo and into a puddle] 37-and-a-half miles of driveway, and you park in the 5 feet with a puddle!
- [to Ferguson] Not me, you imbecile, them!
- [Last words in the film] Hey, screw. Fetch.
- [Last words in the film] Aren't you gonna throw it back?
- [Richie wants to play baseball with Gloria's sandlot-team]
- Richie Rich: Come on. Let me hit.
- Gloria: Forget it; you probably couldn't even hit a BEACH BALL!
- Richie: I could hit it off of YOU.
- Gloria: [insulted] All right, you think you're so hot? Put your money where your mouth is!
- Richie: You mean bet?
- Tony: Yeah, $5 says she could put you away for keeps.
- Gloria: $5? How about $10?
- Richie: Okay, seems a little steep, but $10,000 it is.
- [Richie takes a wad of bills out of his pocket; the other kids are shocked]
- Gloria: No, not $10,000. $10.
- Richie: Oh, $10, okay.
- Herbert Cadbury: Master Richie, I do think it unseemly in the extreme for you to take these - children's money.
- Gloria: What are you doing, Mr. Fancy Pants? Asking the old guy for batting tips?
- Herbert: [insulted] Take their backsides to the cleaners, Master Richie.
- School Teacher: Let's move on to case study #12: Your company is in dire straits. Sales are down 50% due to stiff price competition. Dividends are falling. Stockholders are demanding that you step down as chairman of the board. Now, here's your problem: How do you rally the board of directors to your side AND stave off impending bankruptcy? Reynolds?
- Reynolds: [Reading a newspaper] I'll have my secretary get back to you on that one.
- School Teacher: [sighs] Ellsworth, how would you get the board on your side?
- Ellsworth: [Playing miniature golf] Bribe someone.
- School Teacher: [Stares blankly] Sit down, Ellsworth. Reginald, what would you do?
- Reginald: [Being fitted by a tailor] What would I do? Simple. I'd float a rumor that we're the object of a takeover bid. And as soon as our stock went up, I'd sell.
- School Teacher: That's not only unethical, Reginald, it's illegal.
- Reginald: I'm only 12. I can't be held legally responsible.
- School Teacher: Hmm, good point.
- [Richie, having a clear distaste towards Reginald, sends a goofy-looking drawing of him to Cuthbert through a fax machine. Cuthbert laughs, and teacher notices. He walks over to Richie, folding his arms]
- School Teacher: Richard, are you and Cuthbert passing notes again?
- Richie: Um, no, sir.
- School Teacher: Cuthbert?
- [Cuthbert has already sent the drawing in a shredding machine. The teacher looks back at Richie, who casually smiles at him, and the teacher just rolls his eyes]
- Reginald: (Jabs Ellsworth in the rear with sword during Fencing session at school) Watch your rear, Ellsworth! First rule of defense. (To valet delivering him a coffee) THIS is a cappuccino! I asked for a decaf cafe latte, you incompetent imbecile! If you can't even do the job you're–
- (Richie returns the favor to Reginald for Ellsworth, causing Reginald to spill the coffee all over him. He turns to Richie embarrassed. Everybody, especially Ellsworth, laughs at him.)
- Richie: First rule of defense, Reg: always watch your rear.
- Richard Rich Sr.: How do you put up with me, Regina?
- Regina Rich: Well, you are worth $70,000,000,000.
- Richard Sr.: Is that the ONLY reason?
- Regina: [she lightly gives him a kiss] No. You also have a cute butt.
- [she walks away sensually; he looks embarrassed, then chuckles]
- Richard Sr..: Hey, Cadbury, did you hear that?
- Herbert: Indeed, sir. Madam admires your butt. I'm most delighted for you.
- Herbert: Excuse me, sir. It's a telephone call, from the President.
- Richard Sr.: Which country?
- Herbert: This one, sir.
- Richard Sr.: Ah... Probably needs another loan.
- Pee-Wee: Hey, man, just checking out your crib here.
- Richie Rich: My crib?
- Herbert Cadbury: I believe that's street slang for home, sir, an idiom.
- Omar: Who you callin' an idiom?
- [Having forced Richard Sr. and Regina to open Mount Richmore, Van Dough finds that instead of money, it contains baby pictures, comic books, baseball cards, finger paintings, etc.]
- Van Dough: This is incredible! This is amazing! This is... This is JUNK!
- [Richard Sr. and Regina both look insulted]
- Regina: Junk?
- Van Dough: Bronze dog bones? What, accordians? Baby pictures, tricycles, kites... [Picks up a trophy] Bowling trophies?
- Richard Sr.: Oh, do you remember that, darling?
- Regina: Oh, our first date!
- Van Dough: What is all of this crap?
- Regina: These are our priceless possessions!
- Van: Where are the gold bars... the diamonds... the negotiable bearer bonds, the money? [Aims his gun at Richard Sr.] WHERE'S THE MONEY?
- Richard Sr.: In banks. Where else? And the stock market, real estate...
- Van Dough: No! Is this some kind of joke? You're telling me there isn't one single solitary gold bar, or emerald, or $1,000 bill in this entire mountain?
- Richard Sr.: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Lawrence, but that's not what we treasure.
- Van Dough: [to Ambler] Shoot them. Shoot them now, please!
- [Ambler is about to shoot Richard and Regina, when Richie appears, brandishing a sword]
- Richie: What's the matter, Mr. Van Dough, can't do it yourself?
- Regina: Richie, get out of here!
- Richie: It's okay, Mom. I don't think he has the guts to shoot anyone.
- Richard Sr.: Richie, no! [Ambler points his gun to Richard's throat]
- Van: Generally, you're right, but... on this occasion, I think I'll make an exception. [shoots Richie, not realizing he is wearing Keenbean's special spray that makes his clothes bulletproof; Richard and Regina scream]
- Richie: Cool.
- An adventure so big... even the world's richest kid can't afford to miss it!
- Without the inventions, the butler, and the private fast-food restaurant...he's just a normal 12-year-old billionaire.
- Five buddies, one butler, and a dog on an adventure so big... Even the world's richest kid can't afford to miss it.
- Macaulay Culkin - Richard "Richie" Rich Jr.
- John Larroquette - Laurence Van Dough
- Jonathan Hyde - Herbert Arthur Runcible Cadbury
- Edward Herrmann - Richard Rich Sr.
- Christine Ebersole - Regina Rich
- Mike McShane - Professor Keenbean
- Chelcie Ross - Ferguson
- Reggie Jackson - Baseball Coach
- Mariangela Pino - Diane Kazinski
- Stephi Lineburg - Gloria Kazinski
- Joel Robinson - Omar
- Jonathan Hilario - Pee Wee
- Rory Culkin - Young Richie
- Ben Stein - Economics Teacher
- Claudia Schiffer - Claudia