SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron
SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron was a TV cartoon produced by Hanna-Barbera Productions. The show, which ran for a total of two seasons (13 episodes first season, 10 second season, plus an "SKIQ" episode at the end of the second season), centers around the adventures of two fighter pilots, Chance Furlong(alias: T-Bone) and Jake Clawson(alias:Razor), as they defend their home, Megakat City, from various criminals.
Bride Of The Pastmaster
- T-Bone: Incoming!
- [A spike penetrates the left wing of the Turbokat. Razor immediately makes a choking sound.]
- T-Bone: Razor! Talk to me, buddy! Are you hit?
- Razor: No... [Razor coughs some more, then hacks up a small furball that hits the cockpit window.] Furball.
- Razor: From the looks of that sword, I'd say we landed in the Dark Ages.
Chaos In Crystal
- Rex Shard: What's the matter? I thought diamonds were a girl's best friend!
- Callie: I don't like the setting!
Enter The Madkat
- David Litterbin: [on TV]My audience must think I'm crazy to have you as my guest tonight.
- Lenny Ringtail: [on TV] Hey, you'd be crazy not to! After all, I'll soon be writing a book called "Madkat and Me."
- Chance: Can you believe that? He sure is crazy.
- Jake: Yeah. Like a fox.
- [Chance flips the channel.]
- Jake: Chance, what are you doing?!
- Chance: What do you think? I'm watching "Scaredy-Kat!" Now this is funny!
- Mayor Manx: Ah, nothing like a quiet round of golf. No visitors. No phone calls.
- Madkat: How about trying that again for higher stakes? Like your kingdom!
- Mayor Manx: Uh, anything you say!
- [He sinks the putt again.]
- Madkat: Nice job, but I still win...[he grows to the size of a giant ball]...because MY BALL IS BIGGER!
The Ghost Pilot
- [Chance helps Jake lift a barbell off him after the barbell nearly chokes Jake.]
- Chance: What's the matter, too proud to ask for help?
- Jake: A few more seconds and I might have been as extinct as the Red Lynx!
The Giant Bacteria
- [The SWAT Kats are chasing a villain, Morbulus, who evades one of Razor's shots.]
- T-Bone: How'd you miss him, sureshot?
- Razor: That guy must have eyes in the back of his head!
- [The SWAT Kats fly in for a closer look at Morbulus. Razor does a surprise take upon seeing him.]
- Razor: Whoa! He does have eyes in the back of his head!
- T-Bone: No excuses.
- T-Bone: What'll it be, Razor? Dunk or delivery?
- Both: Dunk!
- Razor: Let's see if he has eyes under his head!
- [T-Bone and Razor are being pursued by a heat-seeking missile]
- T-Bone: Guess it's time for "Plan Z"!
- Razor: [facepalms] Aw, T-Bone, I hate "Plan Z"!
- T-Bone: No other choice, kiddo... prepare for engine shutdown!
- Razor: Engine's cold... launching decoy missile!
- [The SWAT Kats launch a decoy missile, which the heat-seeker locks onto and destroys.]
- Razor: Great job, T-Bone! What a team!
- T-Bone: We're not out of the woods yet... the engines won't restart!
- Razor: [groans] This is why I hate "Plan Z."
- Mac Mange: So sue me! How was I supposed to know that was your sister's car back there?
- Molly Mange: You always hated my side of the family! Sometimes I don't even know why I married you!
- Mac Mange: Wow, Molly, that Feral hates the SWAT Kats even worse than we do!
- Molly Mange: Why shouldn't he, Mac? Those fighter jocks make him look stupid at least once a week!
Night Of The Dark Kat
- T-Bone: This baby's pretty darn fast for a street machine.
- Callie: Yeah, I have a couple of good mechanics who keep her tuned up.
- T-Bone: Too bad you can't keep the Turbokat running this fast, Razor.
The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice
- T-Bone: Thanks Razor, but I could've taken care of 'em!
- Razor: Just making sure the cement machine gun was operational! [He walks over and pats the exhibit that he just encased in cement] Whoa... exhibits are getting kinda lifelike...
- Callie: [over radio] SWAT Kats! You only have one minute to blast the Pastmaster out of the City Hall clock tower!
- Razor: Who says you can't fight City Hall?
The Wrath Of Dark Kat
- [Razor is trying to disarm one of Dark Kat's bombs in mid-flight.]
- Razor: Piece of cake, just remember, always cut the red wire! [He pries open an access panel, only to discover that ALL the wires are red.] Dark Kat, you miserable psycho!
A Bright And Shiny Future
Caverns Of Horror
- Taylor: I'm telling you, Mr. Conklin; we're not going back down!
- Tiger Conklin: I pay you to mine agricite, Taylor! Now get back down there and dig, or pack up your stuff and get out of here! And that goes for the rest of you, too!
- Ann Gora: And if they do find anything, Kat's Eye News will be there to cover it. Are you reading me, Jonny?
- Jonny K.: Loud and clear.
- Ann: How's the picture?
- Jonny: Crystal. And what if you get caught sneaking around down there?
- Ann: Hey, you can't break a story without breaking a few rules! Gotta go!
- Razor: [to Felina] You sure are one stubborn she-kat!
- [Razor knocks out a female guard, gags her and ties her to his Ejektor Seat]
- Razor: I was raised to always offer my seat to a lady.
- T-Bone: Hey, what took ya?
- Razor: Didja have to kick me so hard?!
The Deadly Pyramid
- T-Bone: Would you have really married that little creep just to save us?
- Callie: Let's just say I'm awfully glad I didn't have to make good on my offer!
The Dark Side Of The SWAT Kats
- Razor: Dark Kat is our friend... Feral and the Enforcers are our enemies... and we're wanted for every crime in Megakat City! Something's screwy...
- T-Bone: Yeah! Ever since we got hit by the lightning, the world's gone crazy!
- Razor: You're right, T-Bone! The lightning must have hit the dimensional radar and somehow thrown us into a quirky alternate dimension!
- T-Bone: Hold it, hold it! Are you telling me that somewhere in this world are a couple of evil SWAT Kats?
- Razor: You got a better theory?
- T-Bone: Negative... so why don't I just find us a nice big storm cloud so we can get hit by lightning again and get out of this screwy dimension, huh?
- [Jake kicks a punching bag that Chance is holding.]
- Chance: Come on, bud, can't you kick harder than that?
- Jake: Oh, you mean more like this?
- [Jake takes a running start and launches a strong karate kick that knocks the punching bag -- and Chance -- over backward.]
- Chance: [momentarily dazed, hands the bag to Jake] My turn!
- [A beeping alarm gets the kats' attention.]
- Jake: Later... that's Callie!
- [Jake tosses the punching bag back to Chance without looking. It lands in his face.]
- Razor: T-Bone, if you drown... I'm gonna kill you!
The Origin Of Dr. Viper
- Dr. N. Zyme: Purvis, where do you think you're going with that? And what are you doing with my notes?
- Dr. N. Zyme: Oh, who's there? Is that you, Purvis?
Dr. Viper: Not anymore! Jussssssssssst call me Viper! Dr. Viper! [laughs manically]
- Dr. N. Zyme: What are you doing, Purvis?
Dr. Viper: The name isssssssssss Viper! And I'm going to do a little experiment in the biology lab!
SWAT Kats Unplugged
- Jake: Looking good, buddy... one more coat and we're all done!
- [Jake walks over to a paint can and tries to pry the top off with a screwdriver.]
- Chance: What's the matter, pal? Can't invent a gadget for opening a stuck paint can? Here, let me help you...
- [Jake walks offstage. Chance makes a fist and slams it down hard on the handle of the screwdriver, sending the lid flying into the air. It makes a SPLAT sound offstage as it lands. Chance catches the screwdriver, then looks surprised. The camera then cuts to Jake, who was hit with the paint end of the lid, and whose face is now covered in paint.]
- Jake: [sarcastically] Now why didn't I think of that?
- Chance: Oops.
- [Commander Feral is being interviewed by Ann Gora on TV, complaining about the damage that the SWAT Kats did, when offstage we hear and see paint being sprayed on the TV.]
- Chance: [holding spray gun, smirking] Oh, that Feral! Good thing we had some paint left over, Jake.
- Jake: [exasperated] Aw, Chance! Next time you get upset at the TV, why not try turning it off?
- Chance: Sure you don't want a souvenir of Volcanus, buddy?
- Jake: Are you kidding? Just thinking of Volcanus makes me do a slow burn!
When Strikes Mutilor
- T-Bone: Great shot, partner!
- Razor: Lousy shot... I'll be buffing out the dings for weeks!
- Grimalken: Perhaps I can help.
- Razor: Who are you?
- Grimalken: Captain Grimalken. This ship really belongs to me and my crew, but Mutilor stole it for his space-pirating purposes.
- T-Bone: Looks like we can help each other! Stand back! We're getting you out of there!
- T-Bone: There! We made it without a scratch!
- [A bullet from an enemy's gun hits the Turbokat.]
- Razor: Oh, I wish you hadn't said that!
- Charlie Adler: Chance Furlong (T-Bone), Fango, various others
- Barry Gordon: Jake Clawson (Razor)
- Tress MacNeille: Deputy Mayor Callico "Callie" Briggs
- Jim Cummings: Mayor Manx, The Sergeant, Katscratch, various others
- Gary Owens: Commander Ulysses Feral
- Candi Milo: Ann Gora
- Mark Hamill: Jonny K.
- Rob Paulsen: Hard Drive, Al the Pilot
- Brock Peters: Dark Kat
- Frank Welker: Doctor Viper, various others
- Neil Ross: Mac Mange
- April Winchell: Molly Mange
- Keene Curtis: The Pastmaster
- Lori Alan: Lt. Felina Feral
- Ed Gilbert: various characters
- Michael Bell: Captain Grimalken