Salute Your Shorts

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Season 1[edit]

Michael Comes to Camp[edit]

Michael Stein: "Oh they're broken."

Sponge Harris: "Oh no........."

Michael Stein: "What are we gonna do now?"

Sponge Harris: "I'm gonna..........throw up."

Michael Stein: "No not now............."

Sponge runs offscreen and barfs in the middle of the forest.

Donkeylips: "Whoa!" "Power puke!"

Zeke the Plumber[edit]

Dina Alexander: "I'm going to sleep much better knowing I got full fluoride protection."

Budnick: "It's a parade of losers............loser, loser, loser, loser.........and loser!"

Dina Alexander: "I read that there's something in toothpaste that keeps ghosts away."

Telly Redford: "How?"

Dina Alexander: "Well, I'm not sure, but it's something 4/5 doctors recommend."

Telly Redford: "Which doctors?"

Dina Alexander: "Exactly, witch doctors."

Donkeylips: "Cross my heart and hope to die..........stick a pizza in my mouth."

The Treasure of Sara Madre[edit]

Telly Redford: “You guys fell for an amazing, blazing, flying, double back burn.”

ZZ Ziff: “Losing a friend over a little bit of treasure just isn't worth it to me.”

ZZ Ziff: “I found the treasure, it’s mine, It’s all mine!”

Z.Z Ziff: “Look, an old park ranger’s badge.”

Michael Stein: “Badges? we don’t need no stinkin’ badges…….”

Ug: There is a very deep hole in the middle of my infield. Eventually, the hole will fill up with water and the SCUM will float to the top! Then, Bobby Budnick, you will be mine!

Budnick: “I’ve struck gold, I’ve struck silver, I’ve struck.......a water main…….”

Budnick: “A file, huh? I’ll file him, under ‘D’ for ‘Dead Donkey’.”

Dina Alexander: “Come on, Budnick, you’re our friend, and you can’t put money over friendship, oh, listen to me.”

Michael Stein: “Smooth move, Ex-Lax, I’m outta here!”

Brownies for Thud Mackie[edit]

Michael Stein: "Ug? who did I just puke on?"

Ug: "Hey, Thud, you better go wash up."

Michael runs away puking again."

Bunk Chief Elections[edit]

Budnick: "It's like when Solomon King had to make his decision."

Z.Z. Ziff: "You mean King Solomon, when he had to cut the baby in half?"

Budnick: "No, I mean Solomon King......I went to school with the guy."

Dina Alexander: "This is politics, people are supposed to get hurt."

Michael Stein: "Aw no, the bristles on my brush broke."

Budnick: "Wanna buy mine?"

Toilet Seat Basketball[edit]

Z.Z. Ziff: "I came for some drills."

Telly Redford: "Great, we'll run the passing the drill, then we'll do the wind sprint drill........"

Z.Z. Ziff: "No, no, no, I came for some drills from the woodshop, for my acorn earrings."

Telly Redford: "What about the team?"

Z.Z. Ziff: "I don't know........I guess I could make earrings for every 1, but I don't think they'll look that great on the guys....see ya."

Ug: "If you wanna be a winner, you have to learn the 4 F's of leadership: fearlessness, fairness, firmness, and control."

Telly Redford: "Control isn't an F."

Ug: "Well then it''s 3 Fs and a C."

Telly Redford: "Sounds like Donkeylips' report card."

Telly Redford: "You know what makes us a team?"

Dina Alexander: "Oh I know, we all wear the same color tank tops."

Z.Z. Ziff: "How can nature be out when we all come from the earth?"

Dina Alexander: "I do not come from the earth.......I come from New York."