Saturday the 14th
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- Directed and written by Howard R. Cohen.
Just when you thought it was safe to look at the calendar again. (taglines)
- Marge: Do you have children?
- Waldemar: As often as we can.
- Waldemar: He's in there, and we're out here. He's got that book by now!
- Yolanda: If he had that book by now, he wouldn't still be in there.
- Waldemar: But we'd still be out here.
- Just when you thought it was safe to look at the calendar again.
- The year's number 1 horror-comedy spoof!
- Richard Benjamin — John
- Paula Prentiss — Mary
- Jeffrey Tambor — Waldemar
- Severn Darden — Van Helsing
- Kari Michaelsen — Debbie
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