Saving Grace (TV series)

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Saving Grace (2007–2010) is an American crime drama series that mixes reality with fantasy. It premiered on July 23, 2007 on TNT and stars Holly Hunter, Kenny Johnson, Bailey Chase, Laura San Giacomo, and Lorraine Toussaint as employees of the Oklahoma City police department and Leon Rippy as a guardian angel.

Season 1[edit]

Pilot [1.1][edit]

Lt. Yukon: I just got a call from the chief, who just got off the phone with the governor, who had just spoken to the richest cattleman in Oklahoma. Do you know who that is?
Grace: No.
Lt. Yukon: You just knocked him on his ass.
Grace: That guy? Shit. Alvin something.
Lt. Yukon: Alvin Green and you've got to apologize.
Grace: The guy was a dick.

Earl: Here's the deal. You're headed for hell, Grace, but God's giving you one last chance. He sent me to help you. I'm not going to be around all the time, so you can't just snap your fingers and expect me to show up. I'm busy! There's a lot of people going to hell these days. In fact, I need to be on a golf course in Florida in a few minutes, so we need to wrap this up.

Rhetta: So, what are you going to say to Earl the next time you see him?
Grace: Get the hell out of my dream.
Rhetta: Don't you want to get a list of questions together? I would!
Grace: Like what?
Rhetta: Like: Is Jesus the son of God? Was he conceived by the Holy Spirit? What happens when we die?!
Grace: What's the deal with cramps?

Bring It On, Earl [1.2][edit]

Rhetta: You said Earl looks like any normal guy from Oklahoma, right?
Grace: Yeah. A normal guy.
Rhetta: The stain on your shirt was tobacco and saliva, but the saliva had no genetic material in it.
Grace: What's that mean?
Rhetta: It means that Earl has no human DNA or plant or animal cells.
Grace: Well what's that mean?
Rhetta: He's another form of life. It means he's an angel, Grace.
Grace: Well, shit.

Rhetta: What's up?
Grace: Earl cooked me breakfast this morning.
Rhetta: He cooked you breakfast?
Grace: He's going to be a huge pain in the ass.
Rhetta: Grace, God has chosen you. God has chosen you. For whatever reason he's given you an angel and you're calling him a pain in the ass. Do you want to get struck by lightning?

Grace: Heard you're selling your truck for a little moped.
Butch: They can take my truck when they pry the keys from my cold, dead fingers.
Grace: Haha! Sounds fun!
Nathan: tempting

Bless Me, Father, for I Have Sinned [1.3][edit]

Grace: How much longer, Rhetta?
Rhetta: A while. I have grown so weary of discovering new places for semen stains.

Perry: Seeing you outside that sleazy hooker motel, it made me nostalgic. Teary eyed!
Grace: What about you? Doing a flight deck walk across the parking lot?
Perry: Always inspires, especially in these heels. I'm so glad I get to order your ass around!
Grace: You get to try!

Perry: Okay, who are the assholes, who do I need to watch out for, and who are you screwing? Oh, please don't tell me it's that cowboy with the longhorn buckle.
Grace: I try not to hold that against him. He's a local boy.
Perry: He went to UT!
Grace: Played quarterback for 'em!
Perry: Gracie! What has happened to you! You used to have standards! Not much taste, but standards!

Grace: I remember once when you spent the night. We were like eleven and Johnny was in charge and we wanted popcorn, but he said no because it was lent. So I made some anyway but put too much butter on it and we both got sick. Remember.
Rhetta: No.
Grace: Johnny said God made us throw up to punish us.
Rhetta: Johnny's always been a tightass.

Earl: That's nice. You should send it to him.
Grace: I'm not sending it to anybody. I'm in a dead spot.
Earl: Try it now.
Grace: So you can handle cell phone coverage, but tornadoes, earthquakes, you let that slide?
Earl: That's too much paperwork.

Keep Your Damn Wings Off My Nephew [1.4][edit]

Ham: Has he converted you, yet?
Grace: To what?
Ham: I don't know. Did he make you regret anything you like to do? Especially with me?
Grace: Yes, Ham, from now on, only our souls can screw.

Grace: You're an asshole.
Earl: You need to broaden your vocabulary.

Would You Want Me to Tell You? [1.5][edit]

Earl: Still seeing Ham? That's a yes.
Grace: I don't need your shit this morning, Earl.
Earl: Still cussing.
Grace: I'm late for work.
Earl: Still lying.
Grace: Don't you have to be in Cleveland or something?
Earl: Still a smartass. I hope he's grading on a curve this week.

Ham: You gonna deck him again?
Grace: Do you want me to?
Ham: Yeah. Show me your stuff.
Grace: You can't handle my stuff, Dewey.

And You Wonder Why I Lie [1.6][edit]

Grace: Don't you ever knock?
Earl: Don't you ever stop lying?
Grace: I didn't want company. Big deal.
Earl: Really? Because two months from now when you decide to have Wiley over for another booty call, he's going to be in the hospital with a brain tumor the size of a grapefruit. I'm just lying, but no big deal.

Perry: Get anything from the sketch?
Bobby: Got a guy who wants to know if the body is available for dating.
Perry: Gotta be a Longhorn fan.

Grace: This is all your fault.
Earl: My fault? You didn't even know me when you told Rhetta that whopper.
Grace: It wasn't that big a deal. It wasn't like I planted the damn butt.
Earl: It was a big deal to Rhetta.
Grace: He was a serial rapist! He hurt a lot of people.
Earl: There's always going to be a bigger jackass than you. It doesn't excuse the lie you told.

Darlene: Tell me the truth.
Grace: About what?
Darlene: About you and Ham.
Grace: He's my partner.
Darlene: You know what I mean, Grace. Damn it, Grace, are you sleeping with my husband?
Grace: No.

Grace: I can't do this anymore. You not talking to me. It's worse than that time in third grade when sister Mildred separated us for a week because we ate all her peanut brittle.
Rhetta: That was some good peanut brittle.
Grace: I'm sorry, Rhetta. Really truly sorry. I never meant to hurt you.
Rhetta: Are you sorry for lying, for telling me, or for doing it in the first place?
Grace: Yeah. All of that.
Rhetta: It wasn't any fun for me, either.

Yeehaw, Geepaw [1.7][edit]

Grace: Dewey says I smell nice. How come you never notice things like that?
Rhetta: As soon as I get the gasoline and the barbecued human flesh smell out of my nostrils, I'll be sure to sniff you up.

Grace: Can you match a hoof print to a specific horse?
Rhetta: Only if The Who is playing in the background.
Grace: Is that a no?
Rhetta: That's a no.

Everything's Got a Shelf Life [1.8][edit]

Grace: Don't cancel the cruise.
Ham: You remember what happened?
Grace: I got shot. I mean it. The last thing I need is Paige coming at me with a bedpan.
Johnny Hanadarko: You're going to have to take it easy for a while, so you get mom or you get me. You know I'm a better cook. You get mom, you get her meatloaf. Thank God you were wearing a vest.
Grace: What about Kane?
Ham: He's hanging on. If he can make it through the night --
Grace: [touches her forehead] Shit, Johnny. Did you give me last rights? God damn it.

Rhetta: I don't like this getting shot. So let's say this is the last time, okay? Take it easy!
Grace: It's just a bruise.
Rhetta: A bruise?! For God's sake, Grace, you were dead.

Johnny: You know, you've got to talk to me if you want this to count as a clerical visit.
Grace: I don't wanna talk about God.
Johnny: Okay.
Grace: You lie, you're going to hell.

A Language of Angels [1.9][edit]

Perry: Should I be worried about you?
Grace: No, I have Rhetta for that.

Grace: Butch, I didn't bust your Vince Young bobblehead.
Butch: I figure it's Ham.
Grace: It's not Ham.
Butch: I'm not ever going to know, am I?
Grace: If I figure it out, I'll tell you.
Butch: I just need to be careful.
Grace: Me too.
Butch: Will I ever get another one?
Grace: Do you want another one?
Butch: A guy can't ever get enough bobbleheads.

It's Better When I Can See You [1.10][edit]

Earl: I'm in town helping out a friend.
Ham: Good luck.
Earl: She don't want my help.
Ham: Maybe she does and just doesn't know how to ask for it.
Earl: She thinks she can do everything all by herself. I keep telling her nobody can, but the girl is stubborn.
Ham: She's got a lot of sharp edges? Any way you try to hold her you're going to get hurt.
Earl: Let me ask you something. How do you go about saving somebody who maybe doesn't want to be saved?
Ham: You figure that one out, you let me know. I don't think you've got much choice. No matter how mad you get, you love her. What are you going to do, you know?

Earl: [amidst the rubble of a tornado] There's always a bird singing somewhere, Grace.
Grace: Nice act of God you've got going here.
Earl: Not my favorite.

Grace: I got pissed off. I left. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry.
Ham: Do you want to work alone?
Grace: No, Ham. Today, when I got trapped, I was thinking if you were with me you wouldn't have let me go in the building.
Ham: You would have gone anyway.
Grace: Yeah, but you would have come with me.
Ham: Duke, Eddie, Chris and Snake.
Grace: Yeah?
Ham: Four partners in six years.
Grace: A bunch of pussies.

Grace: Her middle name was Edwina.
Earl: I'm sorry about the way this turned out.
Grace: Shut up.
Earl: Excuse me?
Grace: I said shut your God damned mouth. I'm tired. I can't listen to you anymore. I just wanted to get her out of there.
Earl: So you could send her to jail?
Grace: Yes. No. All I wanted to do was save her.
Earl: You did.
Grace: She's dead.
Earl: You just don't get it, do you, child?

This Is Way Too Normal for You [1.11][edit]

Grace: They sedated him. We can't talk to him until tomorrow.
Rhetta: You could have shot him. He's lucked you just tackled him.
Grace: We tackled a five year old.
Rhetta: You thought he had a gun!
Grace: Ham looked like he was going to cry.

Is There a Scarlet Letter on My Breast? [1.12][edit]

Grace: [turns and is surprised to find Earl right behind her] Jesus, Earl! Announce yourself! Wind, wing flap, something!

Grace: I think the whole thing was a scam. She just wanted something in writing to make sure I was coming.
Rhetta: Can you believe Henry accused me of tainting the evidence?
Grace: I was shaken down by a nun and all you can talk about is Henry?

Sister Laura Marie: Your sister, Mary Frances, chose you to be Clay's Godmother. Do you have any idea why?
Grace: No, ma'am.
Sister Laura Marie: Rhetta, you knew Mary Frances.
Rhetta: Yes, Sister Laura Marie. Very well, actually.
Sister Laura Marie: So, what do you think?
Rhetta: I think Mary Frances saw in Grace what I see in Grace: someone who loves the people around her more than she loves herself.

Harper Anderson: During the time that Detective Dewey was searching the apartment, did you offer to satisfy my client's sexual fantasies if he would just tell you what you wanted to hear?
Grace: No, sir.
Harper Anderson: You didn't promise Mr. Campbell, and I quote, a night he'd always remember now matter now much time he spent in prison masturbating?
Grace: No, I did not.
Harper Anderson: According to my client that's exactly what you said.
Grace: And according to the facts of this case your client is a lying, murdering, piece of shit.

Ham: I love you, Grace.

Taco, Tulips, Duck and Spices [1.13][edit]

Grace: What do you want, Earl?
Earl: I just want you to heal, Grace.

Paige: Am I safe?
Grace: Paige, come on, no! You need to be careful! Watch everyone around you!
Paige: You're scaring me!
Grace: Good!
Paige: And you're enjoying it!
Grace: Do you always talk to guys you don't know?
Paige: You sleep with guys you don't know. What's the problem?
Grace: The problem is, you don't have a gun.

Grace: Do you know how many bug jokes I'm going to have to deal with now?
Rhetta: Yeah. You used to eat crickets, Grace, and put rolly-pollys on your pizza.
Grace: On your pizza. Just once. Okay, three times, that's it.

Ham: Hey, Grace. I'm going to wait for you.
Grace: Here?
Ham: I'm going to wait for you to tell me you love me.
Grace: Here?

Season 2[edit]

Have a Seat, Earl [2.1][edit]

Det. Gholston: [to Grace] Will you submit to a blood alcohol test?
Perry: How do you do your job without throwing up? You know she was off-duty. You know she just risked her life to chase down an armed killer. The FBI wants to give her a medal. So seriously, man, how do you do your job without throwing up?

Rhetta: [referring to Father Patrick Murphy] I thought you killed him.
Grace: Rhetta, come on, man.
Rhetta: Thank God.
Grace: Let go.
Rhetta: You scared the shit out of me.
Grace: Would you have loaned me your minivan to bury him?
Rhetta: No.
Grace: I was going to wrap him in plastic so I wouldn't transfer evidence.
Rhetta: Thoughtful.

Grace: I'm sorry.
Earl: I know, child.

A Survivor Lives Here [2.2][edit]

A Little Hometown Love [2.3][edit]

It's a Fierce, White-Hot, Mighty Love [2.4][edit]

Do You Love Him? [2.5][edit]

Are You an Indian Princess? [2.6][edit]

You Are My Partner [2.7][edit]

The Heart of a Cop [2.8][edit]

Do You Believe in Second Chances? [2.9][edit]

Take Me Somewhere, Earl [2.10][edit]

The Live Ones [2.11][edit]

But There's Clay [2.12][edit]

So What's the Purpose of a Platypus? [2.13][edit]

I Believe in Angels [2.14][edit]

Season 3[edit]

We're Already Here [3.1][edit]

Siggybaby Burn [3.1][edit]

Leo: What the hell? I don't matter? You couldn't call and let me know family's in the hospital? - Damn. you look like shit.

Johnny: Yeah, nice to see you too.

What Would You Do? [3.4][edit]

Moooooooo [3.5][edit]

Am I Going to Lose Her? [3.6][edit]

That Was No First Kiss [3.7][edit]

Popcorn [3.8][edit]

Looks Like a Lesbian Attack to Me [3.9][edit]

Am I Gonna Die Today? [3.10][edit]


External links[edit]

Wikipedia has an article about: