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Shadazzle is a British comedy-drama web series
- Jemima: My name Jemima. I clean.
- Fred: Do you have good cleaning skills?
- Jemima: Sorry, I speak no good English. I clean?
- Fred: Well, if you get the job, yes.
- Jemima: I get job?
- Fred: Perhaps.
- Jemima: I get job.
- Tess: Maybe it's something I can help with, I studied psychology at college. Or university. One of the two.
- Alex: Well... If you were in love with someone... But they were already with someone else... And engaged, no less... What would you do?
- Tess: I don't really know. I studied dog psychology.
- Alex: Oh, Jemima, I didn't see you there.
- Robert: There's clumsy, and then there's clumsé.
- Jemima (as Shakespeare): Thou, madame, hath the privileged honour of being in the presence of the great William Gareth Shakespeare. In the flesh, so to speak.
- Jemima (as Shakespeare): If thou were't ask, I would sayeth one thing: Life be a fleeting ordeal.
- Jemima (as Shakespeare): Follow thine heart, and thou shalt finders thine true self, forsooth.
- George: I was gonna stay at that B&B they says is haunted, because it's cheap, and I like a good mystery.
- Maud: I went to Tesco and they had burgers on offer for 10p per box, so I thought I'd stock up while they're cheap, so I bought 500. But it turns out they go out of date tomorrow, so... Barbecue!