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A Royal Kick In The Arse
Shanghai Knights is a 2003 action-comedy film about a Chinese rebel who murders Chon's estranged father and escapes to England. Chon and Roy make their way to London with revenge on their minds. It is the sequel to the 2000 film Shanghai Noon.
- Who loves you, baby?
- You know what I call him? Not Roy O'Bannon. Roy O'Baloney!
- [as it starts raining] Oh, this country blows.
- That's a terrible name for a detective. Sherlock Holmes?
- Hey, Rathbone! I was just thinking of a title for my new book. "Roy O'Brannon vs. Little Lord Sissy." Or how about "Roy O'Brannon versus the Man who would be Queen?"
- I call that my kung pow chicken.
- [in London] Hey, I'm walking here! You're driving on the wrong side of the road! Bunch of amateurs, these people don't get it!
- I'm gettin' ready to launch a little thing called operation sweep her off her feet.
- [to Chon Lin] You have a GREAT body. There! I said it! It's out in the open!
- Ooooh... You think you're so cool with your karate... and your child-like reflexes!
- And just to set the record straight... Roy O'Brannon is not attracted to loose women; loose women are attracted to me.
- I see a lot of myself in that kid. It's kinda freakin' me out.
- I'm a 30 year old waiter/gigolo. Where's the future in that?
- Hey, Chon, you're lucky I didn't invest in that ridiculous "auto-mobile" idea. Yeah, that's gonna make a lot of money.
- Doyle: I think you gentlemen should accompany me back to the Yard.
- [cut to Roy and Chon in a cell at Scotland Yard]
- Roy: This isn't a yard! It's a JAIL!
- [Lin slaps Chon Wang]
- Chon Wang: I just saved you!
- Chon Lin: You were late!
- Roy: Guys, do whatever you want to the kid, but that's my watch you're holding.
- Fagin #1: Well, there's a load of us, and only two of you, so piss off!
- Roy: Easy, fellas, you lost one war this way, don't make the same mistake twice.
- [why Chon should sleep with the woman for money]
- Roy: Think about your sister in London.
- Chon Wang: What?
- Chon Wang: It's a puzzle box. I don't know how to open it.
- Roy: What do you mean, you don't know how to open it? You just get a hammer and smash it open so you can see what it says.
- Chon Wang: No. I must have patience. By the time I'm able to open it, I will be ready to read the message.
- Roy: Oh, come on, Confucius, that's the corniest thing I've ever heard!
- Roy: Look at you!
- Chon Wang: Look at you!
- Roy: What brings you to New York?
- Chon Wang: My share of the gold.
- Roy: Refresh my memory. What gold are we talking about?
- Chon Wang: We are wasting time.
- Roy: What do you think I've been doing? Sittin' here and drinking expensive hooch? [to Charlie] Boy, refill.
- Chon Wang: I look like a fool.
- Roy: What? You're a Maharajah! That's Indian royalty!
- Chon Wang: But I'm Chinese.
- Roy: It's the same thing.
- Roy: So what did your dad do? Was he an imperial guard?
- Chong Wang: No, much more important. He was the Keeper of the Imperial Seal.
- Roy: That's what I love about China. Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool!
- Chon Wang: Wu Chow!
- Roy: Wu who?
- [after Lord Rathbone has explained his plan to become King of England]
- Roy: Woah, woah, you're like twentieth in line for the throne.
- Rathbone: [annoyed] Tenth. But I'll soon be taking care of that...by process of elimination.
- Roy: I'm guessing by your hasty retreat that you're still twentieth in line for the throne.
- Rathbone: TENTH!
- Chon Wang: For father.
- Chon Lin: For father.
- Roy: For Old Man Wang.
- Chon Wang: If you break her heart, I break your legs.
- Roy: That's fair.
- Jackie Chan - Chon Wang (stand-in by Vladimir Chaloupka)
- Owen Wilson - Roy O'Brannon (doubled by Jimmy N. Roberts)
- Aaron Johnson - Charlie Chaplin
- Thomas Fisher - Artie Doyle
- Aidan Gillen - Lord Nelson Rathbone
- Fann Wong - Chon Lin
- Donnie Yen - Wu Chow
- Oliver Cotton - Jack the Ripper
- Kim Chan - Chon Wang and Chon Lin's father
- Gemma Jones - Queen Victoria
- Tom Wu - Lead Boxer Liu
- Kelly-Marie Kerr - Clara